Depression

Grief

is the last act

of love we can give to those we loved.

Where there is deep grief,

There was great love.

The silver suitcase was never in Tony's hands again. No one would allow him too and he, himself, didn't want to go near that damn cursed box. Originally, Tony was going to bring back the stones in its rightful timelines, but Steve stepped up.

Which, to be honest, Tony was so glad.

It was a few days after visiting Wakanda. Tony was finally healthy enough to come home in his comfy cabin in the woods. Although, his mentality wasn't very stable. Depression hit him like a freight train.

The days after finally coming home was blurry from day one.

All he remembered was his brain shutting down and doing stuff he didn't even remember doing. Playing with his daughter was foggy. Snuggling with his wife was dim. The days and nights dragged on slowly and slowly, as if time really did stop, and he didn't care anymore.

He let the memories be faint in his mind.

Tony was beyond dissociating. He was basically a ghost.

Life wasn't very normal for the rest of the group either. The Avengers still grieved for Nat and Peter, but they grieved properly in time. However, they all were worried for Tony's mental stability.

Pepper would often update them with how Tony was doing, and he was deep down in guilt and depression. He refused to go to therapy and refused to get out of the house. Nothing seemed to be helping, but no one forced him out.

This was Tony, they had to remind themselves. Tony went through so much guilt weighing on his shoulders;so much pain brought into his life. Now it was just numb for him, the suffering all to familiar, and the liability crushing him.

Tony took it one day at a time.

One day at a time.

Morgan and Tony were watching TV, specifically Dexter's Lab, specifically because Tony loved it and so did she. Also, Tony and Peter would often watch it whenever Peter would spend the night at the Stark tower.

It was nostalgic most of the time, remembering the parts where Peter laughed out loud, or when he made some comments about the show.

Pepper was out gardening, and though she attempted to bring him outside just for a little bit of tanning, he refused and decided to spend his morning with Morgan. But everyone could agree that Tony should go out for a tanning session, considering he looks like a ghost.

It was around noon when Morgan asked a question;something that Tony would freeze at.

"Daddy?"

Tony hummed and averted his tired eyes down to his daughter. "Yes?"

"What was Peter like?" She asked. It was such a innocent and genuine question. A lump formed in his throat, eyes widening slightly at the sudden interest in Peter Parker. There was no doubt that Tony told stories about Spider-man and his grand adventures. Though, he was reminded that he never told stories about Peter Parker.

Tony shook his head and ran a calloused hand through her soft hair. "Why ask?" he asked softly.

Morgan shrugged. "Mommy says that you miss him a lot and that he meant a lot to you," she replied. Tony sniffed and continued to stroke her hair as a comfort for himself. Smiling softly, he nodded gently and patted his lap. "Would you like to hear more stories about him?"

Morgan's brown eyes lit up and she scrambled up and sat on Tony's lap, snuggling to his chest and sighing contently.

Tony grinned and wrapped his arms around his daughter and pressed a lingering kiss on top of her head. He then propped his head on her's and though for a moment.

"What would you like to hear?" Tony asked.

Morgan blinked and smiled widely. "How did you meet him?"

A sudden memory hit him when he remembered meeting Peter. He grinned mischievously. "Well, I didn't know Peter Parker existed when...

A sigh escaped from Peter as he walked into his apartment, a DVD recorder at his right side. He had gotten it from the dumpster and he hoped he could re-fix it and see if it would work or not.

"Hey May, I'm home," he said tiredly.

"Hey Honey!" She called back.

"There's this really expensive car parked out...there," Peter trailed off as he walked into the family room and saw-

"Oh, Mister Parker," Tony Stark greeted nonchalantly, observing the hard piece of bread. Peter started stuttering out words while Tony took a bite out of the bread and winced slightly.

"T-Tony Stark, Hi, I-I'm Peter," the boy said, crossing his arms to his chest and trying to act nonchalant about it, but failing miserably. Tony smirked, cheeks bulging out for second before secretly spitting out the stale bread.

"You didn't tell me you had a Internship with Tony Stark," May said.

"That's because I didn't-" Peter was cut off by Tony standing up and smiled. "I have come to discuss intern stuff with you. Why don't we talk privately. Lets say, your bedroom?"

"U-uh sure," Peter murmured, gesturing his hand to the hallway.

"Great!" Tony set his cup down and sat up quickly, walking past Peter and into his bedroom without word. Peter looked at his Aunt, who was giving him a thumbs up and wide smile.

"...Why did you spit up the bread?" Morgan questioned, cringing.

Tony quirked up a smile. "Because Aunt May wasn't very good at making foods. Neither is Peter."

"Why?" Morgan asked, propping her elbows on Tony's chest as she awed in these stories.

Tony thought for a moment, before he chuckled and continued with another story. "Peter was staying over the night..."

"What the hell, Peter?!" Tony shouted when he walked into the kitchen, only to see smoke venting from the oven. In the middle of all the chaos, was Peter swatting away the smoke from his face as he coughed. Flour was sticking to his hair and a side of his cheeks while his eyes watered slightly.

"Hey, Mister Stark," Peter coughed out, using a oven mitt to try to at least get the smoke away. The smoke detector suddenly chimed off, buzzing erratically and screeching some high-pitched noises.

"Oops." Peter winced and rushed over to the smoke detector with a towel, swiping it around the machine. He looked over to Tony with an indignant look. "Are you going to help, or are you going to wait for the firetruck come?"

Tony shook his head in disbelief, but followed after Peter with a broom stick and waved it over the smoke detector.

What finally felt like hours, the smoke detector turned off. Peter blew a breath of relief, while Tony used the end of his broom to point at Peter accusingly. "I was gone for 10 minutes and this is what I come back? What were you trying to make?"

Peter chuckled nervously. "I was trying to make coffee cake," he murmured sheepishly.

The billionaire quirked an eyebrow at him. "Uh-huh, and that cake looks like a coffee cake?" He gestured his hand towards the sloping cake that had crumbled up brown sugar God knows what else.

Peter pursed his lips. "Yes?"

"Nope, nope, nopity nope," Tony exclaimed, taking the burnt cake and throwing it in the trash. He got wet wash cloth and cleaned the the counter, grumbling to himself. Peter watched with wariness as he watched his mentor bring out more cup sizes and a large bowl.

Tony looked at him and sighed. He wiped the excess flour from Peter's cheek with his thumb, making Peter blush slightly. "Let me show you how to make Coffee cake. Its fairly simple."

Peter gave him a sour look. "Fairly simple?"

"Well, for me at least. That's why I'm teaching you," Tony replied bluntly.

Peter laughed, an infectious smile spreading across his flour face. Tony couldn't help but smile back at the kid's amused face.

"Alright, kid," Tony said, ruffling Peter's curly hair. "Let the master teach you."

"I thought you liked coffee?" Morgan asked, furrowing her brows together. Tony chuckled and nodded. "I like coffee cake too."

Morgan opened her mouth to ask more questions, but a knock at the door interrupted their story time. Tony whipped his head towards the door and raised a brow. He looked at his daughter, who also was confused.

"Did you lock mommy out?" Tony asked.

Morgan shook her head.

Just when Tony was about to get up and get the door, the door opened unknowingly. Pepper walked in with her floppy hat on her head and garden tools in her hands. Morgan jumped off of Tony's lap and rushed over to her. Pepper smiled and patted her daughter's head before looking at the couch.

Tony sighed and sat up, his limbs protesting in the process of it all.

"I didn't expect for you to knock on our own door," Tony chuckled quietly.

"Actually..." A feminine voice came behind him. "It was us that knocked."

Tony's eyes widened. Honestly, he was a bit too scared to see the woman's face again. Peter's only living relative.

The billionaire gulped and turned his head around slowly. May Parker. Her eyes poured out grief and sadness. Posture was tense and secluded as she grasped her purse strap and pursed her lips.

"She's not the only one," Another voice said. A teenager girl revealed herself from behind May. There was more shuffling from behind the girl and then, a boy popped out from the girl.

MJ and Ned Leeds, Tony thought. They were Peter's friends. The girl had a flawless skin with hazelnut eyes that shone with apathy. Ned was dressed as usual as Tony remembered him before. Nerdy shirt. Groomed hair and a nervous personality.

"Stark," May greeted. It wasn't cold nor warm. Her voice was monotone. But Tony knew that she was grieving more ways than he could see from outside her nature. Tony nodded back. "Parker," he murmured.

"I'll leave you to it," Pepper said quietly, hauling Morgan to her hips and walking outside again. When the door closed behind the mother and daughter, the room was deadly silent. You could hear a pin drop just by the eerie silence.

No one decided to talk for awhile, just them staring dazedly around, as if they were thinking.

Finally, Tony cleared out his throat and gestured his hand to the couch. "You can sit down if you'd like too. I'll get some drinks," he said. Tony didn't even bother letting them deny the drinks, but God, he needed one right now.

He ducked his head and walked quickly to the kitchen, grabbing 4 pairs of glass cups. Tony's hand shook while trying to pour water in the glass cups. Why were they here? What were they going to do?

Honestly, he was terrified of the Italian woman. Next to MJ and least of all, Ned.

Shaking his head, he inhaled deeply and exhaled, calming his nerves as he poured the last drinks. Though, it didn't mean that he was still nervous as hell.

When Tony came back, they were sitting down on the couch, but their eyes were all on him. It was unsettling, but he continued on putting the glass cups on a coaster before sitting down and clapping his hands on his knees and sighing loudly.

They still kept on their stares. Tony wasn't able to read their expressions. Were they giving him pity? Was it anger? Did they want to beat him up?

"So," Tony cleared his throat and looked away. "You came for a reason."

He looked up to see their eyes glancing at each other. May shrugged. "We were just wondering how you were doing."

Tony quirked an eyebrow up, not really believing what she was saying. "How am I doing?" He repeated her question.

May nodded. "We haven't seen you since...well...since you told me and his friends about..." She paused, eyes filling tears. "Peter's death..."

Tony felt a lump forming in his throat as he watched Peter's Aunt dig through her purse and whip out a tissue before dabbing it under her eyes. MJ took a quick glance at her before averting her eyes to Tony.

"You look like shit," MJ said, her voice monotonous. Ned gave smacked her arm lightly and gave her a stern glare. Though, she ignored it and simply shrugged.

Tony chuckled darkly. "I could say the same for you three," he murmured.

MJ rolled her eyes as Ned bit his lip and looked away. "We're all grieving in different ways," Ned said quietly.

There was truth. MJ secluded herself and read on her own like always. Ned remained more silent than usual and May just shut everyone out, including Happy and Pepper.

"Were-" May took a shaky breath before continuing. "Were they able to remove the stones from Peter's body so we can do a proper burial?"

A memory of watching as Wakandian nurses extracting the stones from his kid's hand as Peter's blood spurted everywhere, his last strength of his enhanced powers trying to heal up all the wounds before it gave out completely. It flashed before his mind and his eyes widened a fraction.

"Tony?" May asked, brows furrowing worriedly.

The billionaire shook his head and blinked, pupils seizing. He then sighed and rubbed his scruffy face with a hand. "Yeah...uh, we got them out," he answered quietly. May nodded, still dabbing on her eyes with the tissue.

The room was filled with silent tension. No one knew how to start this.

Tony coughed and placed his elbows on his knees, hands interlacing together as he looked at the trio. "So...everything is good with the preparations?"

May blinked and nodded her head. "Yes...all we need is Peter's body."

His heart ached.

Peter's body.

No parent should pick up their child's body. No one.

He shook his head, thoughts vanishing. "Yeah, right. Just need his body. I'll contact Nick Fury and tell him to bring Peter to the funeral home," Tony said, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. He remembered how he said he would pay for all funeral preparations, but Pepper had told him that May denied and that was all.

"And," she took a breath and looked at him. "you'll be there for the funeral, right?"

There was a beat a silence before Tony's body visibly jerked. He looked taken back, his eyes widening and jaw opened a fraction.

"M-me?" he stuttered. May tilted her head in confusion, her eyes squinting as if trying to read Tony's mind. "Of course...why wouldn't you?"

Ned and Michelle averted their heads towards the billionaire with each an equal confusion. He swallowed thickly, feeling un-shed tears forming in his weary eyes. Tony bowed his head and looked at his feet.

"I can't."

"Why?" MJ asked tersely.

'I-I killed him," he whispered hoarsely, squeezing his eyelids shut. Little droplets of guilty tears landed on the floor. "Tony?" May questioned, worry lacing her tone.

"It should've been me!" His voice was compromised of bitterness and sorrow. The look on his face clearly showed stricken grief as he looked at the three. Tears were leaking out and streaming down his cheeks, his fists clenched so tightly, it would sure to leave crescent marks on his palms.

May, Michelle and Ned could only watch as the man lamented. "I should've died! Not him-Not Peter. It was my fault!" He sat down once more and heaved out a shaky exhale before covering his swollen, red eyes with his calloused hand. "It should have been me." He choked back a sob and rubbed his hand roughly against his face.

It was so hard. It shouldn't have been this hard. But it was...and it hurt so badly.

There was a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see May, eyes brimming with tears again that threatened to fall. Besides her hips were MJ and Ned, who also had sympathetic and sad looks.

Tony looked down again and elicited a watery cough and then sniff. "I'm sorry," he apologized, vocals raspy and scratchy from shouting unpredictably.

If he could have looked up, he would have saw May shaking her head.

"It wasn't your fault," she murmured, squeezing his shoulder with comfort. The man shook his head, not believing it. "How? How is it not my fault? The kid- I allowed him to be in danger. He was my responsibility and I managed to get him in a freaking war-"

"No."

Tony stiffened and lifted his head to see May's face staring right at him. Her face was red, tears of rivers just flowing down her cheeks and down her chin as her lips trembled. For a mere moment, he wondered how strong this woman was.

She swallowed and shook her head. "The moment I found out that Peter was Spider-Man, I was livid."

Tony flinched at the harsh word, but let her continue on.

"But, as I saw how happy he was-how more excited he was to work by your side and learn new technologies that not a lot of people had the chance to do so, I realized that Peter was meant to be a superhero," May said. With courage, Tony looked up. What he saw was an Aunt, grieving of her only nephew-only son- only relative on this living planet. But...there was a glimmer of pride buried in her soul. Not for herself, but for Spider-Man.

For Peter Parker.

"I wished that Peter was old enough to experience adulthood. Maybe find a love interest and make mini Parkers." She chuckled quietly and looked at Michelle with a small smile. In return, MJ gave a sorrow grin.

"Maybe have a best guy at Peter's wedding," she said aloud, earning a small and watery laugh from Ned.

The woman looked at Tony and softened her gaze ever so slightly. "And maybe find a willing father-figure to lead him through life."

Tony snapped his gaze back at May, tears filling up again. He knew that the kid seen him as a father-figure, but had yet to confirm it. But deep inside his cracked soul, he knew that he had the same familial feeling towards Peter.

"And, we can't have a family member of his to be left grieving on his own."

"How can you forgive me so easily?" His voice was barely a whisper. Barely anything, but it was deeper than the depths of his inner soul. Such a genuine question. Yet, held a simple and complicated question.

The corners of May's lips curled up into a small smile.

"Did you forget how easy Peter forgave?" She asked. Tony huffed a watery laugh and shook his head. "How could I not," he replied. "Even if he was stabbed multiple times, it didn't stop him from giving them a second chance."

He heard May take a breath, her hand retracting from his shoulder. "Something that we all need to work on. And that starts with forgiving you."

"So, Peter was your loser, huh?" Tony asked, looking at where MJ sat. It was hours after he, May and the kids finally got things together. Despite May forgiving him, he felt like he needed to talk to the other people in his life.

MJ.

Tony didn't know much of the girl, but he knew that Peter had a crush on her and hung out with her and Ned most of the times.

MJ merely shrugged. "I suppose," she mused, not bothering to look at the billionaire and just stared at the horizon above the lake. Tony chuckled and sat down next her. A sketchbook was in her lap with a pencil intertwined with her fingers. She fidgeted with it and twirled it around sometimes, as if she was thinking.

It was silent for a few minutes, hearing the leaves sway with the gentle breeze.

"What's in your sketchbook?" Tony questioned, gazing his eyes towards the sketchbook in her lap. The girl thinned her lips and shrugged. "Sketchings of Peter," she responded quietly.

Tony didn't want MJ to think that he was being to snoopy, but he was curious. "Did you draw him?"

MJ smirked and nodded. "Yeah."

The billionaire couldn't help but smile. "Any good shots?"

The teenager hesitated, but she eventually nodded and handed him the sketch book. "I usually do drawings that have him in a crisis," she said quietly. MJ flipped to the first page and Tony saw a boy, blushing harshly with a nervous grin on his face.

He raised a brow and looked at MJ with a bemused look.

MJ must've seen the confused expression Tony was emitting because she smirked. "That's when he asked Liz Allen to the prom," she explained. Tony made a 'o' shape with his mouth and nodded.

"I'm guessing you were spying on him?"

The answer he got was a shrug. He turned a page and saw a boy, his arms crossed over a student's desk while his head was lying on it. The face was concentrated and dazed at the same time.

"That was before he asked Liz out to the Prom and when you took his suit away," MJ said.

Maybe it was because that the girl had good detail on the sketching, but he could practically see the real Peter expressing that emotion. He felt a lump forming in his throat. God, he shouldn't have taken that suit away.

Toomes was still out there and Peter was just trying to catch him. Without his suit, it was almost pointless, but Peter did it. A freaking kid was able to defeat him. But not without some trauma.

"Peter understood why you took his suit away," MJ interrupted his thoughts. Tony shook his head and looked at MJ. "What?"

"Peter," she said simply. "He understood why you took the suit away."

Tony looked down at the drawing and sighed.

"Peter might have been an idiot for chasing after Toomes with a onsie, but he did it," MJ murmured. "I think he realized that being a nerdy teenager was for the best until the time he was needed."

Tony laughed quietly, a bit humorlessly as he shook his head.

"You would have been a good match for Pete," Tony said, averting his eyes towards the girl. MJ went stiff, but then hunched her shoulders a bit as she looked at him with her deep hazelnut eyes. "You think so?" she asked.

Tony chuckled and nodded his head. "You noticed more than I did," he stated, a bit cheekily. The teenager rolled her eyes, a tint of red tinging her cheeks.

"Shut up, asshat."

This time, Tony laughed with amusement.

"Are you sure?" Ned asked, his voice soft and unsure.

Right before they were leaving, he pushed Ned aside for them to talk for a moment. The moment he asked Ned about getting an internship at the SI, he was skeptical. So unsure of himself.

"I'm positive," Tony stated firmly. He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, earning a small noise from him. "You're a smart kid, Ned. Hell, you even managed to hack into the Spider-suit."

Ned looked away, cheeks bright red and guilt gnawing inside him.

"And that's what SI is looking for. Security for our devices and tech," Tony explained, grinning tiredly.

"I-" Ned shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. Me and Peter always wanted to work at the SI, but that was before he got the spider-powers and pass away." He sighed and looked at the floor. "Its hard to think about this dream when it was Peter's as well."

Tony smiled sadly. "Peter told me about you guy's dreams. Seems like you two had it planned since day one," he said.

Ned smiled and nodded. "Since we were little kids. Always wanted to work for SI and maybe in later life to make a new industry." He shrugged. "Travel the world and see whats out there, y'know?"

The billionaire smiled softly at that. Peter loved New York, but he also was a curious kid who enjoyed outdoor spaces and exploring new areas. One of Tony's favorite thing about the spider-kid. Although, he could stay all day and talk about his kid.

"Whatever you choose, the position still stands," Tony said. Ned smiled in return. "Thank you, sir."

When Tony was about to head out, a voice called out.

"Will I get paid internship?!"

Tony thought and gave him an incredulous look. "Seriously?"

"What?!" Ned exclaimed. "I gotta make a living, y'know? Buy more legos. Just like how me and Peter used to do."

Tony smirked. "Sure kid, I gotcha."

He didn't miss the quiet hiss of victory emitting from Ned's mouth.

"You should go to sleep," Pepper said quietly as she sat next to her husband on the porch couch. They were outside, just listening to the crickets chirping and owls hooting in the night sky. A normal, but welcoming night.

Absentmindedly, Tony slung an arm around her and kissed the temple of her head. "Morgan asleep?"

"No thanks to you," Pepper teased as she smacked her husband's arm. "I know you gave her an ice pop before bed."

Tony chuckled. "I couldn't say no."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Of course you couldn't." She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed contently. "But I wouldn't have expected anything different," she murmured.

The couple stayed in comfortable silence, allowing to hear some peace and quiet after everything that happened. It was an emotional roller coaster. Each and every day for Tony;for May and for the people that loved Peter.

Pepper lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at her husband with a proud smiled on her face. Tony craned his neck towards his wife and watched as she gave him a soft kiss on his lips.

He leaned in, a hand raising to caress her soft cheeks.

"What's this for?" Tony asked in between their kisses.

Pepper broke off their kiss and ran her hand through his graying hairs. It reminded Tony of ruffling Peter's hair whenever the kid would achieve something or whenever they had movie nights.

"Simply because I love you," she said.

Tony smirked. "There's gotta be more than that."

Pepper laughed softly and gave a quick peck on his lips again. "For what its worth, you're finally getting the help you need. I'm proud of that." She paused and placed her hand on his scrubby cheek, gently gliding her thumb underneath his tired eye. "And Peter would have been proud of you too," she finished gently.

Tony smiled and looked out towards the horizon. The stars twinkled brightly as it stirred in the sky with the moon being its guide. Fireflies flickered under the moon and stars, as if doing a gentle dance.

An unexpected wind breezed past them, only for something cold to touch his shoulder lightly. He jerked his head towards his shoulder and lifted a brow.

There was nothing.

He looked out to the sky again and hummed gently. The wind howled once more and the shifting of the moon illuminated to a small spider making its web in the corner. Small droplets of dew formed on the silky string. The spider was still webbing, making its final touches before waiting to prey.

Maybe it was just him, but he could've swore that it felt like Peter was here with them.

So hi-I'm sorry for making you wait for more than a month. I have really bad writer's block and its kind of hard for me to feel inspired when...i'm not. I hope that it won't take much longer for the last chapter, but who knows. I'm really really sorry and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm a little nervous about this chap because I had a lot struggling with this one and so I apologize if it was too OC.

I would feel like Tony would adamantly talk to MJ and Ned about Peter, as well as offer Jobs and such. May has the realization that Peter is a superhero and that's what made Peter the person he was today and all that jazz, so yeah. I dunno.

Please review and let me hear your thoughts. And if you could point out any mistakes, that would be awesome! :)

Tumblr-MercyMaeyo