Happy new year, you guys! I don't own HP or its expanding universe. Enjoy!
HOWLER
September 25th, 1993
Fifth year
It was mail time and Artemis had just dropped a howler in front of Jo.
"What did you do?" another puff asked warily.
"Nothing…? I think?" Jo drawled. "I can't think of anything I've done that would warrant a Howler on my birthday."
"Well, go on then, open it," Leili interjected.
"No way!"
"It'll be worse if you don't," someone else pointed out.
"So?"
"Alright," Leili shrugged. Truth be told, she knew exactly what was going to happen. She'd planned it last year after young Ron Weasley had crashed his dad's flying car into the Whomping Willow at the start of term.
It took a solid minute but the Howler began to emit smoke and shake and pretty soon it had soared to Jo's eye level and exploded.
At a near deafening tone it began to sing, "HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM ALL OF US TO YOU! WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE COULD PARTY TOO! HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE COULD PARTY, TOO! WHOO!" Everyone in the great hall had stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the unconventional Howler.
Beside her, Leili was hysterical. Her face was cherry red from laughing so hard while Jo was staring half embarrassed, half amused and half uncomprehending because that was not what she had expected. The Howler grinned at her before pressing a loud, papery smooch to her forehead. "Happy birthday. Love, Mom." The Howler tore itself to shreds before catching fire and leaving little piles of ash behind.
"You should see the look on your face!" Leili laughed, her face buried in her hands. "Happy Birthday, Jo."
"You arranged that? I'm going to kill you," Jo threatened through a laugh.
"It wouldn't have been so bad if you had just opened it like I told you."
"Oh, sure, uh-huh. You want to do that again? Because I'm pretty sure there were some people in Belgium who didn't hear it. How did you manage this, anyway?"
"It's the letter that's enchanted, not the person who writes the letter, so muggles can send them, they just… don't. So last year, after Ron got his howler, I began to wonder if you could send a nice howler and then if muggles could send them. The letter will always be loud but it doesn't have to be angry."
"I'm going to kill you."
"Nah, you like me too much."
"I'll make an exception."
Leili thought nothing of the threat until she glanced at Jo 's face. The look there was enough to send her scuttling from the room with Jo prowling after her.