Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. of Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I am in no way associated with Stephenie Meyer, any creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.
Some descriptions of characters that previously existed have been altered to fit the vision of this story. If you are interested in viewing the character reference photos, please view my Pinterest Board (/clairebear_04/like-breathing-but-harder/).
Chapter 2: Claire
"So, what? You didn't want to tell your friends I was coming?" Quil smirked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
I rolled my eyes and snuggled closer to him. The warmth of his arm and torso caused goosebumps to coat my exposed legs. "It's not that I didn't want them to know," I started, tumbling words in my head. "It's just that I wanted to spend time with you," I finished, not as confidently as I would prefer.
He raised an eyebrow, looking me over for a giveaway.
"Honest," I said, biting the inside of my lip.
His smirk lingered as he kissed the top of my head, resting his cheek in my hair. "Well, I prefer this out of the two options," he said.
"Why's that?" I prodded. My laptop playing a movie was propped up on some boxes at the foot of my bed, the only source of light in my room other than the orange glow from the street lights.
"Mm," I felt his chest deflate as he let out a soft sigh. "Because between you and me..." he murmured under his breath. "I really didn't want to have to watch Harley suck on Andrew like he's a walking popsicle."
I snorted. Whenever Harley was about three or four drinks deep, she would instantly turn ravenous on Andrew. It was hard to watch, but at the same time, it was contagious.
I bit the inside of my lip, thinking about it. My lips suddenly craved the side of his jaw. The inside of my mouth dried and I felt my heart pounding in my rib cage. "Do you ever wish I was like that?" I asked, trying not to turn to look at him.
I felt his face wrinkle. "It's a bit much for me," he said. I could tell he was trying to be polite.
My heart sank slightly. "Oh," was all I could say.
"I mean, don't get me wrong," he caught on. "I like the idea of that, it's just- in public," I heard him fumble around with putting words together.
To this, I sat up from under his arm and looked at him. "So, what? You don't like PDA?" I questioned.
He rolled his eyes, not in a way of annoyance but as if he was trying to put his thoughts into phrases. "No, I do, it's just-"
"Just what?"
"Claire," he pleaded.
The way he said my name made my skin feel alive like it was coated in electric currents. Before he could say anything again I leaned forward, placing my hands on either side of his face, capturing his lips with mine. When my lips were satisfied, my tongue grazed his lower lip playfully. My fingers grazed the sides of his face, down his neck, then to the back of his head as I ran my fingers into his hair.
I felt him moan into my mouth as my hands ascended up the base of his neck. He wasn't hesitating like he normally did, instead, he continued to kiss me back, his tongue returning the gesture and sucking on my lower lip. I felt the electricity on my skin pulse and I sat up on my knees to be level with him.
His hand reached up and brushed some hair out of my face, cupping the side of my head as he tilted it to kiss down my jaw. Suddenly the air around us changed, and my pulse quickened even more.
"Mm," I sighed, my body melting into his touch. He kissed down my jaw to my chin, then descended down my throat. "Quil," I whispered softly, my eyes rolling into my head.
He didn't respond to me as he paused at the base of my neck, kissing the space where my throat met my collarbone. The electricity on my skin intensified, and I felt the urge to buck my hips forward.
He pulled back to look at me, and just as he paused I leaped at the chance. I quickly straddled his midsection, my knees on either side of him, propping me up. I took his face in my hands once more and kissed him deeply, pressing my crotch against his. He'd never let me get this far before, and I wasn't about to waste the opportunity.
Before I could register it in my mind, Quil had scooped me off his lap, set me back on the bed, and stood up.
"What-" I said, deflated. All of the electricity that was surging across my body instantly disappeared with the lack of his touch.
"Is this what you had planned tonight?" he asked, staring into my eyes. "Is this why you wanted to stay home?"
I felt my lower lip quivering. No matter how hard I tried to fight it I felt the lump in my throat growing bigger, along with the feeling of rejection.
"Quil, I-"
"I've told you before, we have to wait, Claire," he said, his eyes filled with a mixture of remorse and stubbornness.
At this, I felt my jaw clench. My legs found the edge of the bed as I sat up. "Wait? For what? Quil, I'm 21. I'm graduating from college tomorrow. What more do I have to wait for?"
His face withdrew, almost as if I had said something that hurt him.
"Answer me," I pleaded, looking him up and down. He folded his arms over his chest as he refused to say. When he didn't respond I ran my hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face, flustered. "As your imprint, I'm asking you to answer me."
This time it actually looked like I had hurt him. He winced and closed his eyes, turning away from me.
My heart clenched and suddenly I regretted all of it. My shoulders sunk slightly and the lump in my throat was long gone. Defeated, I slid back against my headboard, wrapping my arms around my knees. "Just tell me it's not me," I said softly, looking down the length of my bed.
"What?" his head snapped back to me. "What do you mean?"
I felt embarrassment rising in my cheeks, my face getting hotter by the second. "I mean, is it something about me that you don't..."
It took him a second, but when he figured out what I was trying to say he moved closer to the bed, kneeling next to it so that he was at eye-level with me. "Baby...Claire," he said, trying to coax me to look at him. His hand grabbed one of mine off my knees. "That is not it, at all," he insisted. "I very much want to, trust me."
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then, why?"
He sighed softly, glancing across the room. "Do you remember Kim?"
"Jared's imprint, right?"
"Yeah," he said. Jared and Kim kept to themselves mostly. Kim worked almost round-the-clock as a nurse at Mason General Hospital down in Shelton, about 3.5 hours away from La Push. While Ness and I spent a lot of time together growing up, the other imprints were older and saw us only on special occasions. Quil looked at me again, hesitating. "When, Jared, uh," he paused once more, gathering himself.
"Look, Claire," he said as he found his grounding. "When I imprinted, every fiber of my being is dedicated to protecting you. To provide for you, to comfort you, anything."
None of this was different than what I had previously been told. Quil had been a part of my life as long as I had been making memories. Things changed on my 16th birthday when Quil and Jacob sat me down to explain what imprinting was.
"So, I'm your soulmate?" I had asked simply, looking at Quil.
Jacob chuckled in surprise, expecting more of a reaction from learning that my best friend growing up was more than just a friend.
"Something like that," Quil responded, smiling.
Truth be told, I was elated when they told me. Ever since I was about 13 I had started feeling different around Quil. It was like warmth in my chest, that would grow when I was with him, but would fade away when he had to leave. Quil told me later that he was relieved that it went as smoothly as it did, considering he imprinted on me at such a young age. It never bothered me, but from what Ness told me it bothered other people at the time.
"At the same time," Quil continued, "You're right, Claire, you have grown up." His eyes wandered over my face. "I've wanted to-" he started, then stopped just as quickly. "I'm scared, Claire."
I blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"
His face looked pained. "When Jared first had sex with Kim, he tried to be gentle with her. As I said, we are driven to protect who we imprint on. But, the wolf part of him just..." he trailed off. I could see him replaying the scene behind his eyes that he accidentally saw in Jared's mind. "She was ok, but she was scared for a long time to try again."
My insides squirmed. How bad could it have been? What happened to her?
"I'm scared I'm going to hurt you, Claire. It hurts too much to think about what I could do to you," he murmured, his voice barely discernible.
"You would never hurt me, Quil," I reassured, leaning forward and placing my hands on his forearm.
"You don't know that," he insisted. "Look at Emily, Sam would never hurt her and yet accidents happen. Jared never wanted anything more than to love Kim and-" he shut his mouth tightly, forcing the images back deep into his mind.
I suddenly understood. Every time I had tried to push things further, he would instantly slow us down as if Emily was in the next room from us. Whenever I tried to kiss him more in public, he would pull away and kiss me on the forehead. It wasn't because he didn't want to, I saw it now in his eyes that he wanted to more than anything in the world. I also recognized the pain and fear that flooded his face as it did now.
I didn't know what to say to him, so instead, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his chest. I felt him tense at first, but then wrap his arms around me, holding me close to him. I heard him sigh as his muscles began to relax, giving in to our embrace.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. This was all my fault.
"No," he replied, his hand rubbing the back of my head. "Don't be. We'll try soon, ok? I just need time to figure out how to do it."
It wasn't what I had planned for tonight, but at least it was something that I could hold him to. "Promise we'll try?"
He paused for a moment, realizing what he had committed himself to. "I promise, we'll try."