Title: Proposals? Or Not…
Author: SneetchesToo
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Ethan/Rox
Summary: Ethan's got some explaining to do.
Author's Note: I may have fudged the timeline slightly and I'm sorry for that. Also, these two mushes are going to be the death of me. That is all.
—
Ethan had relished in the feeling of having Rox in his arms last night.
Even though they had spent many a night together since returning from their trip to the mountains three months ago, last night had been different.
They had made love on the couch in front of the Christmas tree.
And then he had soothed her back down with soft kisses and gentle touches.
He had brought her over the edge twice more, once with his fingers and once with his tongue, before she had let out a whimpering plea for a shower.
He had been happy to oblige and he had been shocked when she had pushed him against the wall of the shower and had her way with him.
Normally he was the one who took control when it came to sex.
It was nice to see her do so for once.
After they had finally cleaned up they had both collapsed into his king sized bed, both completely naked, neither one focused enough to care. And they had drifted off to sleep in each other's arms once more.
When he awoke the next morning his companion was gone though and he had instantly panicked.
He had called for her a few times before he remembered that she, unlike him, had an early shift that morning, and she must have snuck out to avoid waking him.
He had sighed at the loss of contact, her spot on the bed already turning cold, and he secretly hated their jobs in that very moment.
He just wanted to spend the day in bed with her, naked, and that was all there was too it.
Sighing to himself he pushed himself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He knew a shower would help, as would a cup of coffee, and he planned to try and at least get something productive done before he headed to work that afternoon.
After showering and dressing he headed downstairs, a low growl leaving his throat when he noticed his dad sitting at the kitchen table, a weary look on his face.
He had completely forgotten that his father had spent the night last night.
For what reason he was still uncertain about.
"You two are not very good at keeping your voices down." His dad's words startled him and he had to close his eyes and reopen them in order to focus in on what the older man had said.
Then it hit him.
They had had sex on the couch. They had done many things on the couch.
All while his father had been down the hall.
And they most certainly were not quiet about it.
"Excuse me?" He tried to play dumb but his father shot him a look that said he was failing miserably.
"Last night. I heard everything." He turned toward the older man and raised an eyebrow. "And I mean, everything."
"We weren't that loud." He let out a soft chuckle when his dad rolled his eyes at him.
"Wanna bet?" Or maybe they were.
"I apologize, but it is my house." He knew that wasn't an excuse. They should have had the common decency to gone upstairs to the bedroom at least. "You're the guest here remember?"
"Never said it wasn't your house." He still wasn't used to the fact that his dad had signed the property over to him. That this place was finally his, just like Robbie would have liked. "I just really didn't want to walk in on you two, again."
"Well it's a good thing you stayed in the back room then isn't it?" He was hoping to use humor to escape the awkwardness of this conversation, but it wasn't working.
"You two are insatiable." His dad didn't miss a beat though. Typical.
"We're in love." And that they were. So very much in love. And it was killing him.
"That's good to know." He offered him a smile as he nodded his head in his direction.
The room was silent for a few minutes as Ethan fixed himself a cup of coffee.
His mind was wandering off in a million different directions and it was driving him crazy. He didn't know what to think or what to feel. He just felt so overwhelmed with it all.
"I mean it dad. This is serious. This isn't like the other relationships I've been in." And he meant it. Sure he had loved Sarah, but they had just been kids. And he cared about Tara and Megan, but they hadn't meant the world to him. And Leanne, well Leanne had been his everything, and part of her still was. But she wasn't his and he wasn't hers and he was okay with that. But Rox, he loved Rox like he had never loved anyone in his life. "This is, this is special. Rox is special. I love her. More than I've ever loved anyone or anything."
"I'm glad you found her son." His dad's words were soft and genuine and he was thankful that they had finally reached a spot in their relationship where they could talk to each other about these kinds of things.
He used to talk to Robbie about stuff like this.
He missed having that bond with someone.
"I wanna ask her to marry me." He whispered.
He knew it was insane.
They had only been together three months.
But he wanted her to be his wife more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life.
"Don't you think it's a little soon for that?" Of course it was too soon for that. But he didn't care.
"Yes. No. I mean… I don't feel like it's too soon." Part of him would have married her three months ago had that been what she wanted. "Is it too soon?"
"It's only been three months Ethan." He let out a sigh at his father's words. The older man had a point. "Don't you think you should allow for some more time? You guys barely know each other."
"I know enough to know that I wanna spend the rest of my life with her." He had known that from day one.
"I think it's okay to know that at three months son, to act on it though, that's a different story." He sighed as he leaned back against the counter.
His father was right. Not that he would ever admit that to the man. But he knew he had a good point.
"I just… I love her so much." It hurt him how much he loved her. He just wanted to make her happy and to cherish her the way she deserved. After everything she had been through in her life, it's what she deserved.
"Good." His father said softly, offering him a look that told him that that was enough.
"I don't want to ever stop." And he didn't. He wanted to marry her and have babies with her and grow old with her.
He wanted to kiss her everyday for the rest of his life and he never wanted to fall asleep without her in his arms.
"Then don't. But don't scare her off by taking a step as big as that one." He knew she would freak out at the simple idea and that was enough to keep him from actually going through with it. "Especially after everything she's been through. Take some time to get to know each other. Grow in your relationship a little more before you take that kind of step."
"You think she'd say 'no'?" He didn't want her to say 'no'. He wanted her to say 'yes'. He wanted to make her his wife.
"I think if you asked her today she would." He blinked back the tears in his eyes at his father's words.
"I…" He didn't know how to respond to that.
"Look Ethan, that girl loves you, of that I'm certain. And it's obvious that you love her too." He was glad that it was obvious to others that she loved him back, because there were honestly days where he wondered. "But it's too soon and you know it."
"Yeah. Yeah you're right. It's stupid." He pushed himself off the counter as he shook his head back and forth.
"It's not stupid son, just give it some more time." His dad reached out and grabbed his arm as he moved to walk past him.
"Yeah… time…" He pulled his arm free though and moved away from the older man as he swallowed back a sob.
Time was something he didn't know if he would have with Rox.
It had certainly proven to be something they seemed to lack a lot of together lately.
—
Rox had been waiting for him when he got home that night and he had offered her a soft 'hello' before making his way upstairs and taking a long shower.
He had only worked a six hour shift, but it had been one of the longest.
Even Mario had commented on how insane it had felt.
He had gotten dressed in silence and when he came downstairs Rox was still curled up on the couch in front of the tree, her eyes skimming over the pages of the magazine she was reading.
He had grabbed himself a beer from the fridge and he honestly contemplated going back upstairs and crawling into bed alone.
But then she was offering him a soft smile from her place on the couch and she looked so warm and inviting that he couldn't help himself from joining her.
"Thanks for decorating the tree with me." He didn't know where those words came from. It wasn't like it was that big of a deal.
"Thanks for letting me. I had fun." She sounded genuine in her reply though and he let out a soft sigh.
"Same here." He leaned back against the couch and he watched as she moved to curl up next to him.
"It really is a beautiful tree." She let her head fall to his shoulder as she dropped her magazine into the space beside her.
"We did a good job." He kept his eyes trained forward, taking in the sight of the large object in front of them.
"Yes we did." She whispered.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them focusing on the soft, twinkling lights of the tree.
He felt his heart start to race and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders with a soft sigh.
"I love you. You know that right?" His words were whispered into the darkness and he felt her hand tighten on his thigh.
"I know Ethan." She whispered back.
"Just making sure." He sometimes wondered if she knew just how much she meant to him.
He knew that she sometimes had a hard time believing him when he said it.
After everything that she had been through though he didn't blame her.
"What's wrong?" Her question startled him and he turned his eyes toward her as he let out a breath.
"Nothing." That was a lie. There was so much wrong that he couldn't focus straight. But none of it was her fault and he certainly didn't want to give her that impression. "Just got a lot on my mind today."
"Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?" He knew that she would blame herself and that's exactly what he wanted to avoid.
"No love, nothing at all." He pressed a kiss against her hair in hopes of calming her down. He didn't want her to blame herself for anything. "I've just been doing some thinking and it's put my head in a weird place."
"Thinking? About us?" There was a faraway look in her eyes and it broke him.
"Of course my love." He hoped that she realized that it was all good thinking though.
"Are you breaking up with me?" The look of panic that overcame her shattered him in two.
"Never." He pressed his lips against her forehead as he ran his fingers over her arm.
"You promise?" There were tears in her eyes and he dropped his forehead down to rest against hers as he squeezed her shoulders tightly.
"I promise Rox. I'm not breaking up with you." He couldn't imagine ever doing such a thing. No matter how bad things got. He would love her until the day he died. "I love you, so very, very much."
"Good." She whispered. "I love you too."
He dropped another kiss to her head before tucking her against his side once more and he smiled when she snuggled closer to him, her arm wrapping around his stomach as she curled her legs behind her on the couch.
He loved moments like this.
Moments where they could just be them.
Where they didn't have to worry about anything else in the world.
He was thankful they had the next three days off and that they could just enjoy being together.
He wanted her to actually celebrate Christmas and enjoy it.
"Maybe by next Christmas you'll be my wife." He whispered his words into the darkness after a few minutes of silence and he felt her body tense in his arms at the comment.
He was stupid, that much he knew.
"Your what?" She barely choked her words out as she pulled away from him some.
"My wife." He offered her a smile as he reached out to brush back some of her hair. "You know, the person you become when you get married to someone."
"We are not getting married Ethan." She sounded very adamant about that and it hurt him.
"Well no, not today we're not." He chuckled softly as he cupped her cheek gently against his palm. "But maybe by next Christmas we will."
"What kind of drugs are you on?" Her question made him shake his head.
Why did he have to be on drugs to think that her being his wife would be a good idea?
"No drugs." He whispered. "Just really, really like the idea of you being my wife."
"You're crazy." She whispered back.
She pulled away from him then, settling back against the other end of the couch with a sigh.
He could see the wheels in her head turning and it made him wonder if he would ever be able to bring up the idea without freaking her out completely.
"Would it really be so bad?" He wanted to know if she would ever be comfortable with the idea.
"Ethan… please…" He saw that anxious look fill her eyes and he moved forward on the couch, putting himself closer to her.
"What?" But she just pushed him away.
"Stop talking about it." She whispered.
She was crying now, big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself with a sob.
"Why?" He wanted to know what was so terrifying about the simple topic.
"Because it's making me uncomfortable." He could see that and yet he wouldn't stop pushing.
He hated himself in that moment for doing this to her.
"Well it shouldn't. I love you Rox. I know that you love me too." He didn't know why he thought his words would offer her any comfort. She was clearly freaked out too much to continue this conversation. "We already make a great team. Imagine what it would be like to be husband and wife? We'd be unstoppable."
"Please stop." She sobbed out.
Her body was shaking now and he just wanted to disappear.
"Okay." He whispered.
He sank back against the couch cushions, his eyes settling on the tree across from them once more.
He felt horrible for breaking her.
For pushing her like all those men had before.
He deserved to be punished for hurting her so bad.
Sighing to himself he pushed himself up off the couch and stopped next to her, his hand reaching out to run down her cheek.
"I'm sorry Rox." He whispered.
She didn't say anything back, instead she just nodded her head and leaned back against the couch cushions with a soft whimper.
"I'm gonna go upstairs and give you some space." She nodded her head again but still didn't speak. "I love you."
He dropped a kiss to her head before pulling away from her and heading upstairs.
He let the bedroom door shut behind him before he lost it, big, fat tears of his own falling from his eyes as he leaned back against the wooden object.
He had been a fool to think that she would be okay with the idea.
He should have known better.
And yet, he hadn't stopped.
He prayed that this wouldn't ruin their first Christmas together.
*Don't forget to comment.