A/N: Another Multi-POV just to break up the monotony. Love you chicas...also, I'm debating a move I made in the original when it comes to Brenda...stay tuned.-NR
Chapter 34: Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight (James Taylor)
Frankie's POV
"So Santana apologized to me on behalf of Brittany, even though it was Brittany that called me being all tone deaf about my screaming baby as she cried in my ear about work of all things!" I was in full rant to Siobahn as she changed Axel's diaper. "Like her shit is more important than my newborn? I saved her job and provided her shelter after she practically raped me!"
"You said she didn't. That you yelled for her to stop and then she did...was that a...lie?" Sio turned on me with the baby swaddled in her arms, giving me that look that usually had me running for the hills. "Because if that was the case, I would have kept us right in LA or Paris, or somewhere not New York fucking City."
I was tired.
Frank had called me personally that morning, at five to ask me to come into the theater for an audition that Brittany was insisting needed to happen. I was pissed about it because no one was respecting my maternity leave.
"No. She...look babe, I'm just tired okay. I did not sign up for a colic-y baby."
"I didn't sign up for a baby at all but one of us had a one night stand with a celebrity and now here we are with this amazing piece of God, right?"
Her accusation made me flinch. It had been a mistake, a drunken mishap on a tour I was doing. One of the number one rules is to not sleep with the artist and that's exactly what I had done.
Siobhan stuck by my side, had even taken the basketball season off to be here with me...fuck, she'd even let me take in Brittany.
"I'm sorry." I said, moving to her after she put the baby in his bassinet. I put my arms around her and rested my head between her shoulder blades, the feel of her muscles flexing making me moan.
"You need to leave."
"What? Why?"
"You haven't been out of this house since he was born, it's been nearly a month. The theater is across the damn street. You came here to back up Brittany, so go back her up."
"But the baby..."
"Is fine. Go."
"I don't deserve you, you know that?"
"No one deserves anyone, stop putting yourself down, go shower and go do your thing. I think if we don't get some time away from each other, we aren't going to make it once we are back home. I don't want that, do you?"
The words stung as she looked at me, her face stern.
Just how I liked my women, in charge.
She raised her eyebrows and I nodded.
"I don't want to be without you, Sio, baby."
"Then leave and don't come back until you fix your shit with Brittany...play your cards right, we could probably get her to babysit when your body is ready to be mine again." She growled.
"Yours? Tired of your hand, baby?" I purred.
"Of course I am, what's the point of getting married if I still have to rub it out like I'm a teenager?"
"At least you can rub it out, I just live on your kisses at this point."
She kissed me hard and squeezed my ass.
The baby let out a squeal and she pulled away to tend to him before I could. When I leaned over the crib, she checked my hip. The pain shocked me and I glared at her and she grinned.
"Go."
Ari's POV
"Are you ready?" I sat on the bed in my dorm room and laced up my old lucky high-tops. "I want to stop by the church first...is that okay with you?"
"Everyone prepares in their own way, baby sis...getting called in today instead of Monday, means I get to be here for you through this. After last night...I think our family could use all the prayers that we can get."
"It's unreal isn't it? You two were so close as kids."
"Moncho was different back then, before the drugs, when his parents were alive, he was more in touch with his humanity. He lost that the day he raped Anita."
"Yea...it kills me to see what he did to her but he was getting better, he's been clean. He has been there every day for Anita, like it's his job and now...she's going to be so pissed when she finds out."
"Will she be at your audition?"
"No clue...we ended our affair in a weird place but the fact that Britt isn't pissed at me tells me that she hasn't told her about how we ended things...just that we did."
"Will it help anyone for Brittany to know?"
He was right. Brittany had been known to fly off the handle and if she was giving me this big shot, there was no reason to jeopardize my dreams for honesty, I'd just have to ask God for forgiveness and move on.
Ana knew how to keep things to herself and unless she said something about our naked shower, it would go the grave with her. I had stopped things once I knew they were married, that had to count for something.
"You're right, it serves no purpose."
"Okay, good...you have like an hour before you need to be at your audition...is that enough time for you to get to church and then the theater?" Carlos stood beside my door and zipped up his leather coat.
"Yep...we just have to go now. Can you grab my dance bag for me and meet me by the elevator...I have to pee!" I said as I ran towards my bathroom.
"That's like the sixth time are you sure that it's just nerves?" He looked at me anxiously.
I couldn't think about that right now.
I had just gone to the doctor's as a follow up for the bone marrow transplant and they said all signs point to full remission but in the last week it had felt like the polar opposite. .
"I'm nervous and that's it!" I said before slamming the door.
Truth was that I wasn't really sure that was all. I had been tired lately and in pain. My bladder was constantly on and I knew that this was what it was like the last time that the cancer came back. It shouldn't be this way thought. The last time that Moncho had donated marrow, I'd been in remission for six years but now...it was like four weeks.
God please let this just be a fluke.
I sat down and pinched my eyes closed as I prayed that this was just stress or nerves. I couldn't deal with chemo again.
I was freaking out inside but I had to lean on my faith.
God couldn't be so cruel to let this happen when I was on the cusp of achieving my greatest dream.
Could He?
Frankie's POV
"Do a twirl for me." Siobhan said, as I walked into the nursery fully dressed for the first time since before the baby was born. I gave her a twirl and a shake...threw in a little shimmy and finally she was smiling at me.
"Listen, about earlier...I am sorry. I...well...Britt was my first love and there's a part of me I think that feels angry that she led me on."
"Because she did but you also let her do that."
"I know."
"She hasn't forced herself on you again, has she? Are you not telling me something?"
I froze under her scrutiny.
"Uh...no."
"Francis, spill it."
"It's stupid okay...we had a moment when she first moved in after she came out of treatment...when she had left Santana at rehab. She was crying in my lap about her wife ignoring her calls and well, I got my signals crossed."
She sat forward, her elbows resting on her knees and nodded. "And?"
"I kissed her."
"And?"
"That was it, she pushed me off and told me that what we had was done. She told me that once the baby was born, she'd be gone. That she should be home with her wife anyway."
"Why are you just now telling me this?"
"It served no purpose to tell you."
"Yeah, you need to go close up work stuff...serves no purpose? I'm your fucking wife, Francis. We are heading home as soon as Axel is cleared by the doctors. The best thing for all of us is if you and Brittany are far away from each other...your impulses are out of control, Francis."
"I know."
"Do you need me to go to the theater with you?"
"No...we won't be alone together."
"Make sure of that. Got it?"
"I don't like when you talk to me like this, Sio."
"Well I don't like when you let your free spirit get you in trouble. How many times have I had to scrape you off the floor when you inevitably fall into a depression over whoever you're with? When we agreed to have an open relationship, we agreed, no people from your past. No babies and no second times and what else?"
"No Brittany."
"I can't live like this anymore, Frankie. It was one thing when we weren't parents but now we have Axel and he needs us to be stable. Neither one of us grew up with a stable home. Don't you want that for our son?"
"I do." I said, wiping at my tears as she stood there, looking at me pitifully. I hated seeing her like this.
"Then act like it. I can't be in an open marriage anymore. As soon as he is able, I'm taking him back home...I'll let you figure your shit out but know that I won't wait forever. If I have to be his only stability, I will be. I don't want to play games. Got it?"
"I'll do anything baby."
"Right now, I just want you to go get some air but when you get back, I need you to have decided where we go from here."
"I don't have to go, I can stay and talk this out." I was full on sobbing.
My makeup was probably shit now but I didn't care.
All that mattered was not being alone anymore.
I was an orphan, she and Axel were all the family that I had...I couldn't do this alone.
She was worth more than all the Brittany's and celebrity hookups in the world.
My wife was my world.
"Go. I need to not look at you for a while."
The sting of her words, had me leaving without fixing my makeup.
I knew that tone and that look.
Ari's POV
When I entered the small Catholic Church at the end of the block, I felt my nerves slip away.
No matter what church it was...it always, always calmed me.
I walked up to the altar and knelt.
This had to be quick, I just needed to meditate on things.
I lit the first candle and then said a prayer for Moncho, who had tried to save my life again and the pain had led him back to a painkiller that was going to kill him one of these days.
He had shown up looking a complete wreck, it was the worst that I had ever seen him. It hurt me to see him so broken, my Tia was probably turning in her grave at the sight of him constantly throwing away all the good in his life.
Like his family and his ex-wife.
His daughter...once Ana knew he was back on coke, she would stop all these visitations he had been having with Daniela, I just knew it.
Something had set him back on this path, it had to be more than the pain of the marrow transplant...it had to be bigger than that but he wouldn't say. He was too far gone last night.
I shivered when I thought of just how bad it had gotten.
But I couldn't linger...I was on a time crunch.
After lighting the candle for Moncho, I moved to light another for Anita and her family because they really needed it.
Anita had been through hell and back, some of it because of Marco and some of it because of her own stubbornness.
Last, I prayed that God's will be done.
I couldn't be selfish and wish for something that was already predestined.
There was no need to harp over it. If it was meant to be then I would go in there and kill it.
I took a few calming breaths and then tried to stand to my feet but I felt a pressure on my shoulders.
I wasn't done yet.
"Lord, just be with me...please? I'm scared, so scared about what this might be and now that my parents aren't acknowledging me...I don't want to be alone. If I have to go through this please just don't let me be alone. I put this completely in your hands. Gracias, Papa Dios. Amen."
The moment that I was finally on my feet, I pushed my emotions and slight joint pain to the back of my mind and pushed myself to suck up what I was feeling.
I didn't have time to be sick.
Frankie's POV
Brittany's office was the closest to the entrance, straight down a flight of stairs and half a theater away from Frank and August. I didn't see her car outside, so I thought it was safe to just head straight downstairs to fix my makeup.
When I pushed open the door, there was Santana, breastfeeding the baby and staring at her phone.
"Shit...I didn't know anyone was in here." I said, going to pull the door closed.
"C-Come in." She said, looking me over. "Y-you okay?"
"Yeah, I just needed a bathroom away from the bosses...do you mind?"
"B is upstairs with them...go ahead." She said before adjusting her shirt and going back to her phone.
I walked past her and shut the bathroom door behind me.
My hair was a little wild from the wind and my mascara had run dark tracks down my cheeks.
It was obvious that I had been crying.
"Get a grip." I whispered to myself as I used Britt's makeup wipes to clean my face. Today was just going to have to be a clear face day.
My hormones were so heightened that I knew, these would not be my only tears.
Once my face looked clear, just blotchy...I pinned my hair up and straightened up my clothes.
The door swung open and there stood Britt.
She looked flustered.
"Ana said you came in here crying. What's wrong?" She shut the door behind her, leaving us alone.
The one thing I had promised Siobhan and it was already a broken promise.
"Open the door...please." I squeaked.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong...I am sorry that I bugged you, you didn't need to be here. You can go home if it's too soon to be away from Axel."
"Stop being so fucking nice, just open the door. My wife doesn't want me alone with you."
"Why?" Ana's voice came from the door which I didn't realize had been opened a crack.
Britt seemed just as confused as her wife.
"Yeah, Frankie...why not? Was my calling that bad?"
"I told her that we kissed a few weeks ago."
Santana's eyebrow raised as she looked at Brittany and then she pushed the door open all the way.
"Th-that's a good reason."
"You told her that I pushed you off...right?"
"That's good for you, Britt but not so good for me. She's threatening to leave me and I deserve her being pissed...you know Axel...we didn't plan him. I messed up and she stood by me."
"Wow...uh...B...y-you sh-should talk later. Ari is h-here." There was a growl in Santana's voice, like she and Britt were suddenly not in a good spot either. The last thing I wanted to do was interfere in their lives again.
I had sworn to never do that...but here I was, fucking things up again.
Siobhan was right.
My impulses always got me in trouble.
Why couldn't I just lie?
It would be much easier.
Ari's POV
Good luck, I'm here to cheer you on!-Anita
You just made my day!-Ari
Good. Kick ass up there!-Anita
I was pumped as I walked into the theater. I had my big brother by my side and Ana cheering me on, that was all the support that I needed and I knew that God was answering my prayer.
With them there, I knew that I wouldn't be alone in this.
No matter what this was.
Carlos kept shooting me looks of concern but I was ignoring him. I knew what this could be but I couldn't think about it. When I stood near the entrance to the back of the stage, I stopped and looked up at him.
"Look Lito, I know what you are thinking. I'm thinking it too, maybe the marrow didn't take and maybe I should have listened to the doctors when they suggested a month in the hospital after but I'd just gone through the shooting. The last thing I wanted was to be confined to a bed...staying with Moncho helped me...I guess it helped him too, since he fell off the wagon once I moved back into the dorms...anyway once this audition is over...you can personally take me to the closest hospital. Just...please...please, just let me do this." I was pleading with him because he looked like he was ready to throw me over his shoulder. "Please, hermano?"
Carlos looked at me up and down a few times and then handed my heavy dance bag to me. He sighed as he ruffled my short hair.
"Promise me that you are strong enough to do this and I will back off until it's over."
I looked up at him and smiled really big.
"I promise. I feel fine right now...seriously." He raised an eyebrow and examined me from head to foot once more before giving in.
"Fine. I will be right in the front row. Once this is over we are going to see a doctor."
"Okay."
"Break a leg."
"Thanks!"
Frankie's POV
I had left Britt's office in a rush, not looking back at the tension that I had left behind. Instead I went up to the theater, put on my best smile and acted like the upbeat person that I had perfected being for other people.
Being a boss ass bitch, required a level of acting that I had perfected with everyone but Brittany and Siobhan...and here lately, Santana.
Frank and August were excited that I had made it and pulled up a fifth chair to the table in the center for me.
As I sat down, left of center, next to Britt's seat...I missed my studio back in LA more than I had in all the time that I had been in New York. Siobhan was right, if this audition went well, I will have fulfilled my promise to Britt and to August. The show would be cast and I could go home.
Right now, that was my focus, getting out of here in one piece.
Seeing Britt come storming towards the table, without the penchant for acting like everything was fine, that I did, I knew that she was teetering on fury. Then I saw Santana, head up to the stage with the baby tucked in her arm...her face tight.
They had words, that was clear.
And it was my fault.
Fuck, I just wanted to go home.
Be with Axel.
Be with Siobhan.
Be away from all of this.
Emotions swept me and I stilled my face, I couldn't cry...not in front of Tony and Frank...they would not respect me. August knew me and seemed to be carrying on an unnecessary conversation with Frank and Tony out of nowhere.
He'd seen the beginning of my tears.
Once I had fixed my face, suddenly, they were taking their seats as we waited for Brittany who standing at the bottom of the stage...probably waiting for Santana to come back.
She looked both hurt and angry, which was always a terrible combination.
That was usually when she got violent.
At least...when she was off her pills.
I had no idea what medicated anger looked like on her but I was pretty sure, I was about to find out.
Ari's POV
I took deep cleansing breaths and began to stretch out my body, while trying to push past the extreme fatigue and the soreness in my body. It had been like this for a week now, I had chalked it up to the healing process but today after a night of zero sleep, it was more painful. I was on the verge of tears when I heard the stage door open behind me. I discreetly wiped my face before standing up and turning around.
I was face to face with Anita who was holding her new baby in her arms. She strutted towards me looking every bit as sassy as she had always been. She had a small smile on her face but a bit of concern in her eyes. She looked me up and down just like Carlos had done and I knew immediately that they had run into one another.
But she didn't say anything about it.
Instead she examined me a minute longer and then plastered on a smile.
"Are you re-ready, Arita?" she finally said as she looked me in the eyes.
"You bet I am."
"B let me co-come back here while everyone gets sit-situated. I wanted to see you first. Lito s-says you f-forgot your music. Y-you gonna be okay?"
"I guess that I'll just sing it acapella."
"Wh-What song are you gonna sing?"
"No Greater Love."
"Amy? My fave!" she said giddily. I didn't want to burst her bubble but Amy Winehouse's version wasn't what I had been referring to. I shook my head and shoved my hands into my pockets.
"Same song...except it's the original by Billie Holiday!" I chuckled and pushed at her shoulder lightly.
She looked embarrassed and nodded her head. She loved music and she knew what that song was but as quickly as she had flushed she smiled again with confidence.
"I kn-know the song...I could a-accompany you on the piano?"
"Really?" I couldn't believe that she was willing to do that for me.
"Yes. B, wo-won't mind."
"Thank you so much!" I lightly hugged her and then leaned in and kissed her little blonde headed mini-me.
"Be easy...okay? You're gonna do gr-great. Break a leg, an arm...a f-finger! Shit break your neck. How is this good luck?" she shrugged nervously and then leaned in and kissed my lips softly. "F-For luck."
Before I could respond she promptly turned around and walked out off the stage...she knew how serious I was about this adultery thing, but apparently right in this moment she didn't care.
I stood there feeling an insane rush of energy overtake me.
The lights flickered, signaling that the curtains would soon rise.
I dropped my head and closed my eyes.
Deep cleansing breaths.
Forget the pain.
Forget the struggle.
Remember the kiss.
I smiled to myself when I heard the sound of the curtains rising.
A bright light illuminated my body.
I was ready.
Frankie's POV
Once Santana was seated in the front and she had a stare off with Britt for a split second, I watched Britt try to compose herself before come to sit next to me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered to her but she held up her hand to me and turned to Tony on her right. She mumbled something to him and he hit a button that made the lights flicker.
This was her game face.
She was not about to have this conversation with so much on the line.
We were probably through, now that I had stuck my foot in shit and then stormed around in her happiness.
I hadn't really ever been on Britt's bad side.
But I guess there's a time for firsts in every relationship.
"Cue lights." Britt said into the mic. Then she glanced at me, covering it up before putting her lips next to my ear. "Don't you EVER try something dumb like that again. I didn't even kiss you but she's acting like we had sex. Maybe stop being the slut you always claimed I was. Let's get this over with so you can leave us alone."
I was taken aback.
"You don't mean that?" I said maybe a little louder than I should have.
I felt eyes on me and glanced to the front and saw Santana glancing back with murder in her eyes.
"I took advantage of me and then tried to be the victim."
"Does she know what happened in the car." I whispered back harshly and she went pale and looked towards Santana and then the stage before looking at me again.
"Stop starting shit because you're unhappy." She growled and then turned away from me, her face like stone. "Curtains." She said into the mic, as dopey and bubbly as ever...maybe she did know how to play a role.
I guess this was medicated Brittany, just as stubborn as before but less violent.
So far.
Ari's POV
I looked out into the audience and saw Brittany sitting in the center of the auditorium at a long table, flanked by her two bosses plus Frankie and Tony. She looked more nervous than I felt. I knew that she held a huge stake in this audition.
I looked straight at her allowing my smile to drop to a smirk when I recognized the seriousness that surrounded her. I swallowed my extra saliva and held my chin high. I badly wanted to look down to the front row where I knew Carlos and Anita were sitting but I allowed the remnants of her lip gloss that coated my lips to be enough.
I could do this.
A man's voice was crisp and clear as he spoke into the microphone.
He was the man that had auditioned Brittany.
"Please state your full name."
"Ariana Sofia Soto-Marquez." I said as clearly into the microphone as possible.
"Age, occupation and dance experience."
I looked at him and nodded as I smiled my nerves away.
"I am 18 years old and I am currently a dance and fine arts major at New York University. I earned a Nikola Devedova Full Scholarship as an incoming freshman and I have been dancing since I was five."
I watched his eyebrows raise in shock.
It was rare for someone that wasn't an upperclassmen to earn that scholarship. It was one of my crowning achievements and hopefully it would sway him into understanding just how important dance was to me.
Brittany's two bosses were scribbling furiously after I had mentioned the scholarship.
I hoped that was a good thing.
"So what is your favorite genre to dance to?"
"I like to dance to everything. I just allow the music to take me to a place within myself and just allow my body to feel the music."
"That's a good method." her other boss then asked. "Would you be ready to give up such a great accomplishment to fully commit to this show?"
"Yes sir."
He looked over at Brittany and whispered something, I waited patiently as they talked for a few seconds. Brittany didn't take her eyes off of me, even for a second, as she quietly whispered back.
After they sat back up and looked at me, Brittany clicked a switch and tapped the mic in front of her.
"From here on out Ariana, the process has begun. Anything that you do or say will be taken into full consideration. This is a play about heart and spirit amid life struggles, so when you dance I want you to reflect that as best as you can...no matter how formal the genre of music. Understand?"
I swallowed my nervous laughter that was coming and nodded firmly.
"Yes ma'am."
It felt so weird to be so serious and formal with Brittany, especially since I held her as she cried more than once.
I had seen her at her lowest point on more than one occasion but this was business, something that we both took very seriously. She nodded at me and then waved me back to center stage. I looked at her once more and smiled before backing up with the moving spotlight.
The music bumped through the speakers and immediately my mind shut off and I let the music move me just like always.
This was my element.
As a kid I always wanted to be the best at everything and so I would learn it to the max and then add new things to what I learned.
This I moved with the genres like I had been practicing for years.
Rap, Hip-Hop, Tango, Country, the Elmo song, Classical and at the end of it Club and Crunk.
My soreness was gone for the moment.
I was completely blocking it out or it had gone away, either way I was in the swing of the audition and I just needed to feel what I was doing and nothing else.
I forgot about Moncho.
I forgot about anyone watching me.
I forgot about my parents.
And I fucking forgot about Cancer.
It was me, the music, and the tingle on my lips.
When the music stopped, I found myself back at center stage, on my knees sweating, not really knowing how I got there.
I had been completely in a trance.
Hopefully I didn't screw it up.
Once I realized the dance portion was over I stood to my feet and looked towards the audience.
I had to squint to see anyone at all since the lights were off.
The spotlight was all that I could see.
I stepped up to the microphone and squinted again. I hadn't expected to be met with silence when I had finished dancing. I shielded my eyes from the light and could see Britt was hunched over in a serious discussion with her bosses.
I was suddenly very nervous.
I stood ramrod straight and just waited for them to finish.
Frankie's POV
"Why did you waste the last month of our lives when you had this girl right under your nose? Were you trying to add dramatics?" Frank growled at Brittany, her leg shook under the table and I knew she was close to snapping, so I did what I had to do.
What I shouldn't have done.
I put my hand on her thigh and she got stiff as a board but she didn't make moves to push me off.
She needed to play nice because Frank already kind of hated her.
He wanted just Tony as choreographer from the start but August LOVED Brittany and he was the money.
Nobody crossed August, not even Frank.
"She had personal reasons that kept her from performing."
"What does that mean?" Frank said.
August put his hand on Frank's arm.
"She's a talent and she's here...why does it matter how long it took?"
"I get that, I just would like for once if Brittany didn't bring the extra theatrics to every moment of her employment."
"I'm sorry." She bristled. That seemed to calm Frank but Britt was on edge.
I went to move my hand as she turned her face to the stage but she grabbed my wrist and kept me right where I was.
As pissed as she was, she needed someone to ground her and I was that person,.
I had put her in this foul mood and she was leaning on me to keep her from flying off the handle.
Screw the consequences.
Ari's POV
It seemed like an eternity went by before Britt cleared her throat and looked up at me. She smiled slightly before a mask of coldness slipped on her face. She had definitely learned some things from Anita.
"Do you have a song prepared?"
"Yes but I'll be singing acapella...is that alright?"
I didn't want to have to ask for Anita's help unless I absolutely needed it because I was convinced I could do this song without music. What I didn't know was how much Brittany's bosses frowned against that.
Brittany's eyebrows raised up and she looked panicked. She looked away from me and shot Tony a look, he was looking at her in the same way. He mouthed something, nodded and Brittany looked back at me.
She seemed a little desperate.
"Ariana, did you not bring any music with you as I instructed you to do?"
I dropped my head in submission.
I looked up at her and then straight to the down to the front row where Anita was sitting. She smiled at me.
"I just need my piano player if acapella is too risky?"
Britt nodded and looked around for this invisible piano player.
I let out a deep sigh and then looked down at Anita again. I didn't have to wait for a rejection after I basically rejected her.
Anita quickly stood up and walked down the aisle towards Britt. She was strutting even though she was in sneakers. She was trying to cheer up her wife but it didn't seem like it was working. Anita leaned down, kissed her wife on the lips and then handed the baby to her.
Britt looked at her in shock but still took the baby.
Once she was holding the baby, Brittany's face calmed and so did everyone else who was sitting on the panel.
Anita looked up at me and gave me two thumbs up as she sat down at the piano in the pit below the stage.
She had effectively fixed whatever rift I had created between Britt and her bosses.
Thank God!
Frankie's POV
Neither of us were really paying attention to Santana until she was at the table with the baby.
She saw where my hand was and she gave me a glare before kissing her wife for the world to see. Then she handed off the baby and gave me another look before heading down to the orchestra pit.
I moved my hand now that Britt seemed to have the best kind of stress relief.
From the looks of it, I had given Santana more ammo.
Shit wouldn't be the same after today, that was plain.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I should have stayed home in bed with my baby.
But then I would have missed, arguably the best audition that I had ever seen.
Santana was staring at the stage and Ari's eyes twinkled with that kind of love that I felt for Brittany.
And here Britt was giving her a shot.
That was just the kind of awesome that she was but Santana wasn't so generous.
Brittany was hers.
I had made a promise to her once upon a time and she seemed to be reminding me of that fact.
But why did it matter when she was hypocrite.
I hadn't had sex with Brittany in over a year but she and Ari...well they had been fucking practically in Britt's face.
How dare Britt, call me the slut...when she was married to one?
Wasn't that really on her for having a type?
Ari's POV
I took a deep breath and then looked down at Anita and nodded. She winked and then cleared her throat before playing the prettiest and most important song that I knew.
I let the music go for a few seconds and then began to belt out a song that meant the world to me. It had been my Tia Sophie, Moncho's mom's favorite song.
I closed my eyes and felt the emotion behind the words as the tears burned the rims of my eyes. I could feel my older brother watching me from the front row. I knew that Lito still remembered the day that she died and after the fight last night, I was sure that just like me, he was reliving the moment that Moncho turned to darkness.
We had been called to the hospital late one night to say goodbye. Tia Sophie has been fading rapidly but when we got there she didn't look any sicker than usual. She was all smiles as she sat in her hospital bed with Marco sitting in her lap. He was too big to sit in her lap at the time but he didn't care what it looked like. He was his mom's little angel and my favorite cousin.
Marco was always sweet and kind and shared his books with me. He had offered his bone marrow to me when I needed it later on even though he was on his way to becoming a convict. We had a special bond between us for years after he lost his mother, up until his dad died and he took the only girl I loved away.
He snuggled against Tia's chest and allowed her to hold him close to her.
She was humming the same song over and over again to him.
Family was everything to us and to her.
Her son though, Marco was her life!
She kissed Marco's head several times and then closed her eyes. She was taking deep, sharp breaths, it was becoming harder to breathe but she still managed to sing her song in her raspy, accented voice.
I knew only a fraction of her pain, she had three different cancers all converging on her. She had moved into a terminal status. After the song she slept and never opened her eyes again.
Marco had been right by her side when she died a few hours later.
The scream that broke from Marco was almost feral. He walked out of that room with a dark cloud looming over him, one that he has never been quite able to shake.
Things changed in my household too.
Sophie was my mother's baby sister and losing her broke something in my mom.
She still hasn't recovered over ten years later.
I was banned from playing No Greater Love for years after that but once I got an iPod it was my go to song when I was sad. It had been the song that I was listening to when Marco broke into my dorm the night before. It had stopped him in his tracks long enough for me to wake up Carlos.
Marco was sobbing the whole time that he fought my brother and even in the cop car, I could see his whole body rocking from the force of his cries.
In that moment, he was a kid again, watching his mom fade away.
My heart ached for him.
Like it or not, his blood coursed through my veins and I was connected to his pain, his struggle.
Maybe more than anyone else.
I knew how evil he had become but I also knew the little boy that saved my life.
Jekyll and Hyde.
I belted out the last note with every bit of emotion that I had when it came to the woman I was named for. My first dance partner and my godmother.
Tia Sophie.
I kept my eyes closed as I wiped the tears from my face.
Ugh...I had allowed the emotions to overcome me on one of the most important auditions of my life.
I was disappointed in myself.
Britt looked over at her boss and then at Tony. She kept running her free hand through her hair as she held the baby in her arms. She still looked a little flustered but something in her eyes was different. Hopefully, it was good different.
I looked down and saw Anita looking up at me with tears in her eyes.
She looked at me mesmerized...as if she was seeing something that blew her mind.
Then she smiled that smile that I always believed was reserved just for me.
I heard someone clear their throat and my head snapped up.
Frankie's POV
I was in awe.
She not only looked like but she also sang like a fucking angel.
How could anyone not LOVE her?
"Wow." I said Britt and she nodded, wiping at her eyes before leaning down and kissing the baby.
"She's as good as Ana." She whispered. "They're like two halves to a whole."
"How do you compete with that?"
She gave me a look and simply said, "I don't try. It is what it is."
"Mind if I speak first?" August said to Brittany and she grinned at him.
"You all should speak first, then I'll go. Give it to her straight, okay. No favors." She said, happy but serious at the same time.
Seeing her in control was hot.
But her message to me was clear.
There's no competing for me, no matter what. Santana is it for her. I had to get that through my thick skull, once and for all.
Ari's POV
"Ms. Soto, it has been an absolute pleasure to watch you perform today." That was one of the head bosses. I nodded a thanks and licked my dry lips. I needed water badly.
"I have to be honest with you Ms. Soto, when Brittany insisted on this audition...I thought it would be some Idina Menzel wannabe. I was skeptical about it, about you but then I saw you give all of your heart up there with dancing and singing. That song held so much emotion, Billie Holiday isn't the easiest to emulate but you were flawless and I have to just say that I really hope that Brittany and Tony decide to work with you. I know that you will go far, no matter what career path you choose. You were amazing!" the other boss said.
Tony and Brittany looked over at him a little wide eyed. This must have been something out of character for him. That definitely made me happy. I thanked him and wiped the remaining tears from my face.
When did I become so damned emotional? Ugh!
I nodded and said a brief thank you again before looking at the rest of the table. Brittany leaned forward, turned towards the other end of the table and nodded towards Frankie.
"Ari...my God...if Brittany and Tony don't hire you I will. That was amazing! I can see why you earned such a prestigious scholarship. I know a lot of dancers that applied for that...and they were damn good...I can see now why they didn't get it. Your heart shows in your dancing and your singing. I'm glad I was here to witness it, I would definitely pay to see you do that all day long!"
I smiled and then looked at Tony because it was apparent that Britt would go last since she had the final say.
"Thank you so much for giving your all, it was great seeing what you can do."
He didn't say anything more, instead he looked over to Brittany. I resisted the urge to bite my lips when I looked down at Anita, who was anxiously looking at her wife. I met Britt's eyes and she smiled really huge and clapped her hands together.
"Ariana Soto, It's my pleasure to offer you the part of Carla Graciela, you can take your time deciding...if you would like, this is a huge undertaking and will require you to take another leave of absence from your studies. Take the rest of the weekend to decide. No matter the decision please come see me by six am Monday morning in my office. Thank you for coming!"
They all abruptly stood from the table and headed towards an office in the back before I had a chance to say anything. Britt was cradling her daughter and walking with measured steps.
I was shocked that they were so welcoming and dismissive all at once but I could respect it.
The stage went dark and then the lights came up over the seats. I collapsed to my knees and cried into my hands.
I was so overcome with emotions.
It was indescribable almost inconceivable that this was my reaction.
It surprised even me.
I didn't mean to be so openly emotional but nothing mattered more than me thanking God in that moment. I was in the center of the stage, kneeling prostrate on the warm floor. My tears soaked the ground and my body was shaking but I just kept repeating the same thing over and over again.
"Thank you Jesus, Gracias Senor. You are so worthy, Thank you God!" it was mumbled and chant like. It probably just sounded like sobbing to other people but I knew and God knew what I was saying.
After a few minutes, I was just sobbing, no words were being uttered.
My throat was raw as I was wrapped in a strong embrace and was enveloped in her scent.
Anita began mumbling her own prayers against my ear as she held me firmly against her body. My face was hot as it pressed against the coolness of her neck. It took me a moment to realize that she was praying about the cancer, about my health and piece of mind. When I realized what her words were I cried harder and leaned harder into her letting her prayers surround me.
Frankie's POV
"Are you sure that you don't want to stay on longer?" Frank asked, looking a little panicked that I was saying my goodbyes.
I glanced over at Santana and Brittany having a hushed conversation in the hallway, then looked back at Frank and August. "I'm positive. Brittany is good at her job. She made up 90% of your dances and they are well timed and entirely unique. You need her."
"That's what I keep telling him." August said.
"I know, okay...you have to agree with me though. She has brought a lot of unneeded drama to the show." Frank added.
"Be that as it may, she has been loyal and consistent when it comes to dancing. Give her a break, Frank."
"Fine. When I come back from Ibiza, I hope to see nothing extra just her training the hell out of these dancers. You tell her that before you leave and promise me that if need be, you'll come back to give us a review of the show?"
"I promise."
"Good. Now me and Auggie here have a lunch reservation, make sure this place is locked up before you leave." Frank said to Tony who had been standing by silently.
"Got it boss."
I left with Frank and August, knowing that anything I needed to say to Brittany wasn't happening today...or maybe in the next few days.
My time here had solidified some things for me.
There was only one place I wanted to be, anywhere Siobhan and Axel were.
Ari's POV
I don't know how long exactly it was before the tears dried up but finally I sniffed and stood up. I didn't want it to seem like I was ungrateful. I looked at my best friend and she smiled.
Anita's whole face was swollen from her tears but she wasn't paying them any mind as she brushed the wetness from my face. She was putting me first. It felt good to be cared for by her. She felt like home.
"Feel better?" she asked as she tried to discreetly wipe her own face.
"Almost." I said as I looked around the dark auditorium. We were all alone.
As if she read my thoughts she stepped closer to me and rested her palms against my cheeks. Her hands were cool against my red swollen flesh. She leaned in and pressed her lips against mine in a sweet kiss, once more, but pulled back before I could kiss her back.
"I'm so pr-proud of you Ari!" she rested her forehead against mine and kissed me one last time before pulling back from me. "I love you!" she said happily as she wiped my last stray tear from my face.
"I love you. Thank you for doing that...kissing me. Calming me down." I smirked. I needed her to know that I was delusional...that I knew that it was only an act of comfort in friendship and not a declaration of all out love and dedication. I got it. She smiled and then pulled me into a hug.
"You're amazing." she said before stepping back and pushing the hair from her face.
"Yea...well...I guess." I mumbled as a blush crept over my face. She punched my shoulder lightly and then grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes.
"B and Lito are w-waiting. We are going to take you to the ho-hospital."
"No." I said suddenly as I pulled my hand from hers.
She looked at me in understanding and then turned and began to walk off the stage.
I knew she was ignoring my tantrum.
I stood there for a second but then I saw she had my bag slung over her shoulder. She looked back at me and smirked.
"You don't have a ch-choice in this. I am your family."
"I just...I don't want to go to the hospital right now." I whined as I stood a few feet from her.
She huffed and dropped my bag with a loud thud to the ground before storming over to me and placing her palms on my face again. She searched my eyes and then dropped her hands.
"Talk to me Ari." she said as she held my hands in hers. I closed my eyes and threw my head back in frustration before looking at her again.
"Why did this have to happen right now? It just doesn't make sense, the transplant should be making me better."
She looked at me with a serious but comforting expression on her face. The tears were beginning to pool in my eyes again as I looked at her. Waiting for some words of wisdom.
"I really don't know. We can't fo-focus on that. This sucks but we will get th-through it. I'm here."
"I know but if it's the canc-" she glared at me.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet, Ari." she smiled.
"I know what this is, Santana. I'm a fucking pro at this cancer thing...and this...is what it feels like every time!" I snapped at her and she just sucked in a breath and nodded. Her tears came fast and thick but she wasn't pretending to wipe it away.
"Look..." she said with a fierce look of determination. "IF it is the cancer we will get th-through this with or without your fucking parents! Wh-Whatever you need, I am here. I will pay for everything if you need me to. I don't care what it costs. Do you understand?"
"Anita...you don'-" she cut me off and stepped back, angrily wiping the tears from her eyes.
"No...listen to me, I am back in your life and I can't lose you. You are...you're my family. My soul mate...I can't lose you!" she said before turning her back to me and weeping silently with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.
I hesitated before slowly wrapping my arms around her and pulling her against me. I rested my head on her shoulder. We had talked about this soulmate thing. She had found all this information on souls that were tied together and figured out that me and Quinn were tied to her for eternity. We were her missing pieces and Brittany was her intended. It was all strange to me but I never fought her on it.
I sighed against her and kissed her neck. She shivered and leaned into me more.
"I know that you're scared Anita...I'm scared too but...but you're right. We can fight this and beat it. Nothing is stopping me from being a leading lady on Broadway...not even cancer."
I let them take me to the hospital after that despite my qualms about it. There was no time to celebrate. Anita kept promising that I would enjoy it more if I knew what was going on with me.
She was wrong...not knowing was easier than the wait, even with her trying to convince them to move faster, we were still told to go out and eat and come back.
All throughout my celebration lunch, I was nauseous.
Anita held my hand the entire time and even with her holding my hand, I couldn't help but be anxious.
Even with people by my side...this was something that I would end up dealing with on my own.