A/N: I've read some wonderful fics from various fandoms "based of another book/film/story" AUs and watched this film and thought I'd give it a go. Based off "¿Qué culpa tiene el niño?" (don't know the English name, sorry!).

Due to the plot itself, here are a few CONTENT WARNINGS:
Unplanned Pregnancy, One night stand, character(s) being black-out drunk during said one-night stands; character(s) pressured into marriage. If I need more, please let me know. Most things are implied or mentioned, not detailed, and most of it is plotty plot plot devices only.

"Are you sure about this, Jack?" the Doctor asked his best friend.

"Yes, Doctor. I told you, I know Mickey from way back when. He won't mind if you crash his wedding."

"Okay, but it's not like it's a birthday celebration, where we just steal cake. It's a wedding, these things tend to be very preci-"

"It's a party, Doctor. Which is just what we both need. Dearly. Relax. Loosen up. Here, have a glass of wine."

The Doctor took a sip from the glass, immediately spitting it back out into the cup. "Blech. Horrible thing. Don't know how anyone can have a good time with this taste in their mouth."

"Just one glass, River. Come on. It's my wedding." Martha Smith née Jones begged her best friend.

"You know how sensitive I get, Martha. Do you remember the thing at the Byzantium? And that was only half a glass." River reminded as she tried to brush off her friend's suggestion.

"More like the crash at the Byzantium," Donna, her other best mate, commented loudly.

"Exactly." River declared with finality, before taking in her friend's face then rolling her eyes fondly. "Fine. But I expect you to take care of me when I make a fool of myself and can't remember where I live."

"Promise!" cheered Martha excitedly, toasting her nuptials with her two friends.

Jack tugged the Doctor around for a while, exchanging his wine for a glass of champagne to keep him from moaning and so he could continue to flirt with everyone who moved. The Doctor eventually relaxed, talking excitedly to those around him, before settling comfortably with a loud, friendly ginger who made him laugh, the practical, intelligent bride, and a curvy woman with hair that defied nature and a smile that made his heart skip a few beats. The groom came up and introduced his soon-to-be ex-boss as Colonel Manton, before sweeping his new wife away for a few dances. It took all of 2 minutes for the Doctor to decide he didn't care for the colonel before he directed all his attention back to the women he was still with. Donna pulled the "tall, dark and handsome" colonel up to dance before the Doctor extended his hand to a now-tipsy River, swaying to the music and listening to her exuberant laughter in his ear.

River swayed happily in the arms of a nice-looking young man, clinging to him more than she normally would, thanks to the half-empty glass of wine in her hand.

"So. Who are you, River?" he was asking breathlessly in her ear, a self-assured and easy charm in his voice putting her more and more at ease.

"Don't you know?" she asked, used to people recognising her in relation to her parents, from her well-known author mother to her hero, decorated, high-ranking, and now retired-from-the-military-into-nursing father. Not that she minded. Usually. And their family name and lifestyle had allowed her the freedom to pursue her two passions. Indeed, finding homes for refugee children by day, self-taught archaeologist by night, she was very grateful for the support her parents continued to provide her and her organisations.

"Something… about you. As though we were always meant to meet, like fate." this man, was he a Surgeon? was still whispering reverently, holding her close as she snuggled up to his chest.

She smiled as she finished the rest of her wine. Like fate. She like the sound of that. She pulled him closer still.

She woke up the next morning in a strange hotel room alone, hungover, and with no recollection of the night before. She gathered her clothes, showered, and went to find Donna. Then they could leave and she could put this embarrassing night all behind her.