Title: the Accident
Author: SneetchesToo
Rating: General
Pairing: Ethan/Rox
Summary: Rox may have been mad at Ethan for treating her like a child, but when she finds out he's been hurt, the only thing she wants is to make him better.
Author's Note: I'm sorry for the angst, but come on guys, these two are just so easy to punish.
—
Rox hadn't spoken to Ethan in two weeks.
Not since he had walked away from her in the ambulance bay.
Not since she had yelled at him about being treated like a child.
She still couldn't believe that they had broken up.
That they had ended things right then and there.
It blew her mind that she had been so willing to walk away from him.
But it had blown her mind even more that he hadn't put up too much of a fight.
She knew that he was going through something. She could tell it by the way he had handled the whole situation. But she didn't know what exactly was plaguing him.
And then there had been the rumors she'd been hearing around Angels.
And the worried texts she had been getting from Martin and Leanne.
Everyone knew about their break-up at this point.
And everyone seemed to have an opinion about what they should do in order to get back together.
Martin especially.
And it was starting to worry her.
It's not that he hadn't seemed to care about them before.
But he all of a sudden was very concerned with the state of their relationship.
Or lack thereof.
And it scared her.
As if on cue she saw the older man's truck pull into her drive and she let out a sigh.
She really just wanted to be left alone at this point.
"Martin!" She moved out onto the porch as he exited the vehicle and she could see the pain and worry in his eyes. Something had happened. Something bad. And she was terrified to know what it was. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Is Ethan okay?"
"No. No he's not." His shoulders were slumped as he made his way up the walkway. "But I came to talk to you."
"About what?" She was hesitant to ask for details about Ethan's well being.
"About this 'breakup' between you two." He still refused to accept that they were apart.
Not that she had fully accepted it either.
"Martin..." She didn't want to fight with him right now.
She didn't want to fight with anyone about the matter.
Not anymore.
She just wanted to move on and forget it all happened.
"Now, hear me out here Rox." He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and Rox was reminded of just how much alike he and Ethan really were. "I think this is the stupidest idea either one of you have ever had. You're madly in love with each other, why in the world would you call it quits now?"
"I can't do it." She whispered.
In reality, she didn't know why she had called it quits.
She just had.
And once she had started on that downward spiral, she hadn't been able to look back.
"Can't do what?" The frustration was clear in his voice and she let out a sigh.
"I can't be in a relationship with him." That was bullshit and she knew it. "He's crowding me, he's too overprotective and I feel like I'm constantly being watched like a hawk."
"Oh please Roxane, that's bullshit and we both know it." Apparently Martin knew her better than she thought. "What's really going on here? Was he getting too close? To emotionally invested?"
"He's too worried about me and he needs to stop." It's not that she didn't mind a little bit of worry from him, but he had gotten out of hand.
And he had gotten too close.
The wedding talk. The baby talk. Everything that had happened between them in the past two months. It had just been too much.
She wasn't ready for this and he knew it.
Yet he didn't back down.
"Rox that man is going to worry about you until the day they put his body in the ground." She felt a shiver go through her at his words. She knew that Ethan loved her more than anything. She had stopped trying to deny that. But she didn't think it was fair for him to be with her when she couldn't give him what he wanted. "It doesn't matter how long you two have been apart or together, he's always going to love you. And nothing is going to change that."
"I just wish he would give me a little space sometimes." Except for right now. Because whether she wanted to admit it or not, she just wanted him back in her arms. "Stop asking so many questions."
"He asks out of love my dear." That, she already knew.
But yet again, she had a hard time accepting it.
"Well it's annoying." It was annoying, but she had heard from Leanne and Ariel that that was just who he was. He loved you way too much or not at all. "Sometimes I feel like he loves a little too much."
"That's just who Ethan is. He either loves you all the way or not at all." She was surprised when Martin echoed the words she had heard from the two girls. It must have been a serious trait of Ethan's for even his father to know exactly what it was. "He's always been like that. It's not something that's going to change."
"I feel like I can't make him happy." She choked back a sob. She really didn't want to cry over this anymore. She had spent the last two weeks crying about losing him. "One way or another he seems to always be disappointed in me."
"That's bullshit too." She shook her head back and forth at his words. She would never be good enough for Ethan. Never. And that was a cold, hard fact. "That boy has never been happier. Trust me."
"Martin..." She felt her body starting to shake as tears fell from her eyes.
She hated being so vulnerable and weak.
"No Rox, trust me." He reached out and placed his hands on her arms gently, a soft look in his eyes as he spoke. "Look, I know that Ethan and I haven't always had the best relationship, but I've kept a close eye on him his entire adult life. And he has never been this happy or at peace. Not even when he was with Leanne. Not even when Robert was still alive. He loves you and I think it's safe to say that he needs you."
"I don't know how to make things right." And she didn't.
She didn't know what to say or what to do to fix this.
She didn't even know if she could.
"Go to him Rox." He squeezed her shoulders as his eyes darkened. "Please. He needs you."
"He's never needed me." She whispered.
She certainly felt that way.
Sure he may have loved her.
But he would never need her like she needed him.
"Rox please…" She could see his eyes starting to water and she was taken aback by the image in front of her.
Martin was normally the picture of stoicism and strength.
Seeing him on the verge of crying broke something deep inside her.
"I'm worried about him Rox." He whispered. "Please. You're the only thing that was keeping him together and now that you're gone he's falling apart."
"Ethan's too strong to fall apart." She whispered back.
Ethan was the strongest person she knew, other than his father of course, and she thought it was silly that his dad seemed to think he wasn't handling things well.
"Rox…" He swallowed as he closed his eyes. "I'm afraid he might do something stupid."
She blinked her eyes at his words.
Stupid? What kind of stupid?
"What do you mean?" She didn't know if she wanted to know the answer to her own question.
"His brother… Robbie…" She swallowed. She knew exactly where he was going with this and her heart was shattering in two at the simple thought.
"He wouldn't." She choked out.
Ethan couldn't possibly be that stupid.
He would never do that to them.
He would never do that to his daughter.
"I'm scared he might Rox." He shook his head as he tried to compose himself. "He's in a dark place. He's been through so much in the past year and he just locked it all away. He's stayed strong for Leanne and Ariel. And he's stayed strong for you. But now… now he doesn't think he needs to be strong for anyone anymore and he's spiraling out of control."
She felt her breath hitch in her chest.
She had no idea that Ethan had been struggling this whole time.
He had never said a word to her about it.
He had never once asked for help or support or anything.
He had been her backbone since her accident and she hadn't even realized that he was doing it all on his own.
"I…" She couldn't get her brain to work.
Martin's words had destroyed her.
"Please Rox." He pulled her in for a hug then, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Just go to him. Try to make this right. You two belong together and you know it."
She nodded her head softly as she wrapped her arms around him in return.
She could feel the tears pouring from her eyes freely and her whole body started to shake.
She didn't know what she would do if she lost Ethan.
Especially in such a horrible way.
She would surely lose it.
"I'll go to him now." She whispered.
Martin squeezed her tightly in his arms before pulling back and offering her a sad smile.
"Thank you." He then pulled from her completely and made his way back toward the truck.
She stood on the front porch and watched as he backed out, tears pouring from her eyes as she did her best to compose herself.
She couldn't believe that Ethan had fallen so far down.
She couldn't believe that she could possibly lose him in more ways than one.
—
After her chat with Martin, Rox had rushed inside to get ready.
All she wanted to do was to get to Ethan and make things right.
She just wanted him to be okay.
And she just wanted to be back in his arms once more.
But then her phone had rung and she was being called into work and she had felt like her whole world was coming to a crashing halt.
She just hoped and prayed that Ethan would hold himself together until whatever crisis she was about to face was over with.
So she had shot him a text, the first one she'd sent in two weeks, and she held her breath as she waited for a response.
I talked to your dad and I know you're not doing to well. I'm here if you need to talk. And then she had climbed into her car and headed to the hospital without another thought.
And she had surprisingly been able to keep Ethan off of her mind.
Until she had heard her phone ring at a little three in the morning.
She had only gone to bed an hour ago, her shift not ending until well after midnight, and she was beyond exhausted.
But when she saw the number for Angels flash across her screen she felt something inside her shatter.
Something was wrong.
"Hello?" She knew she sounded sleepy and out of it, but she hadn't hesitated to answer, not even to get herself together.
"Rox!" The voice on the other end was panicked and she felt herself starting to join in.
"Noa. What's going on?" She knew something had to be wrong.
Noa was always the voice of calm and reason.
She never lost control.
Ever.
Until it came to two people.
Mario. And Ethan.
She doubted that she would be calling her in the middle of the night because something happened to Mario.
"There's been an accident." She whispered.
"An accident. What kind of accident?" Her heart was racing in her chest as she pushed herself up from the bed, letting her legs dangle over the edge as she tried to catch her breath.
"It's Ethan." She prayed and prayed that he hadn't done something stupid.
She would never forgive herself if he had acted out and she hadn't gone to him like she should have.
She would never be able to live with that guilt.
"What happened?" She choked out her question as the tears started to pour from her eyes.
She was so goddamn tired of crying.
"Meth head went rogue in the middle of Center Stage." She didn't even know that Ethan was at the hospital last night. She hadn't seen him when she was dropping off patients. "Ethan tried to subdue him and the guy stabbed him before throwing him across the room."
Of course he did. Being the hero that he was.
"How bad?" She waited with bated breath for the girl's response.
"He's gonna be okay. But he's pretty beat up." She let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding. "Leanne and Jesse are taking care of him now."
"Tell him I'll be right there." She didn't know if Ethan would care that she was coming to see him. She guessed that he probably wouldn't. But she was going to him regardless. She knew that he needed her, whether he wanted to admit it or not. "Has anyone called his dad?"
"Leanne did." She was glad that she wouldn't be the one making that call.
After talking to Martin earlier she could only imagine how terrified he would be to get a call about something happening to Ethan.
"Good. I'm on my way." And with that she hung up the phone and pushed herself to stand.
She let out a shaky breath as she made her way toward the bathroom to change.
The only thing on her mind being Ethan.
And the fact that she needed to get to him as fast as humanly possible.
—
When Rox had finally made it to Angels she could barely see straight from crying so bad.
She was honestly surprised that she hadn't gotten into an accident on the way.
But then she had been barreling down the halls, searching frantically for Ethan, and she could feel her whole body starting to shut down.
"Rox!" She looked up just as Noa rounded the corner ahead of her and she hurried up, her legs carrying her toward the younger woman as fast as she could.
"Where is he?" She barely got the words out, her throat burning from all the sobbing she had been doing.
"I just left him." Noa reached out and gripped her shoulders gently. "Leanne's with him Rox. He's okay. He's sleeping."
"Leanne…" She felt her heart stop beating in her chest.
As much as she liked the woman, she really wasn't a huge fan of hers right now.
She always seemed to be around Ethan when it was the least appropriate time to do so.
"She was with him when it happened." Noa said softly. "He saved her life."
"Of course he did." She huffed out.
She knew that would always happen.
No matter what.
He would go to the ends of the Earth for the other woman.
But he wouldn't even fight to keep her.
She felt her pulse starting to race.
"Rox, come on, this is Leanne we're talking about here." She knew that Noa could sense her discomfort but she didn't care.
"Exactly my point." She whispered.
She knew she had no right to be jealous of Leanne, but she couldn't help it.
These past few weeks had been hell on her, and supposedly they had been hell on Ethan.
And yet he hadn't hesitated to protect Leanne.
He hadn't hesitated to stay close to her.
"Rox…" Noa tried to drag her back down but she was already to far gone to care.
"I'm gonna go." She got ready to turn back in the direction that she had come from.
If he didn't want her there that was fine.
He wanted Leanne. He could have her.
"Don't do that!" Noa kept a tight grip on her arms as she spoke. "He needs to see you Rox. Please. Don't let this shit with Leanne drive you two apart even more." She began to wonder just how much the younger woman knew about her issues with Leanne lately. "She's his friend Rox, that's it. None of us want him to be alone right now and she was the most willing to stay."
She dropped her head downward and shook it back and forth, tears springing to her eyes once more.
"Come on Rox." Noa gently pulled back, only to wrap an arm around her shoulders, escorting her slowly down the hall.
They stopped outside of a room that she could only assume was Ethan's and Noa released her gently.
"Go. Talk to him." She opened the door slowly and Rox lifted her head, her eyes scanning the room as she took a step forward. "I'll come back later to check on you guys."
And then the redhead was gone, her sneakers squeaking slightly as she rounded the corner once more.
Rox took a deep breath as she took another step forward, her eyes settling on Ethan's sleeping body.
He had a bandage on his head, covering his left eye slightly, and his left arm was in a sling.
She could make out the white bandages on his shoulder poking out from under the blanket that was over his chest. And he had multiple bruises on the right side of his face and neck.
She felt her breath hitch in her chest.
She had never seen him look so fragile and small and broken.
He was always so strong.
Always so brave and hardened.
It broke her in two to imagine him in such an unsettling state.
"Hey Rox." Her eyes snapped up at the voice coming from her left and she turned her head just as the brunette woman at Ethan's side stood. "I'm glad you came."
"Why wouldn't I have come?" She barked out.
She had no right to take this out on Leanne.
She had no right to be mad at her.
Ethan was the one who had left her. Not Leanne.
"I was worried you wouldn't, after, you know…?" She gestured between Rox and the sleeping man before them.
"After what Leanne?" She snapped.
She crossed her arms over her chest and locked her feet in place.
She was ready for a fight and she didn't even know why.
"I know you two broke up Rox, I'm not stupid." She wanted to make a comment about being fooled, but she knew that Leanne didn't deserve it.
"It's whatever." She didn't know what else to say so she shrugged her shoulders.
She just wanted this whole thing to be over and done with.
Hurt or not, she just wanted Ethan to be out of that hospital bed and at home with her.
She was tired of being without him.
"He's been suffering Rox." She whispered.
"That makes two of us." Rox wasn't in the mood for the blame game.
Sure Ethan may have been struggling, but so was she. And nobody seemed to give a damn about her feelings in all of this mess.
"So why did you break up then?" She could feel her blood starting to boil.
"I don't really think that's any of your business." She was sure that Ethan had probably told her exactly why they had ended things.
She was sure that she knew all the stupid reasons Rox had given him.
Leanne probably thought she was an idiot.
"I'm just trying to help here." Her words sounded genuine and Rox could tell by the look in her eyes that she meant what she was saying.
But she didn't care.
She didn't want Leanne's help. Not now. Not ever.
"Well you can help by staying out of it." She just wanted everyone to stop meddling in their business. "It's of no importance to you why we are or are not together."
"Excuse me?" She could tell that she had hit a nerve with the other woman and part of her was happy that she could get a rise out of her.
"Stay out of it!" She hadn't meant to shout her words and she quickly shifted her eyes to the man laying on the bed in front of her.
She really, really didn't want him to wake up and hear them fighting.
He would take Leanne's side instantly and that would just crush her even more.
"Rox... I'm worried." Leanne took a step forward, so she took a step back. "About both of you."
"Well stop it. It's none of your business." And it wasn't. It wasn't her business, or Noa's or Jesse's or Martin's or Emo's. It was between her and Ethan. And if they chose not to handle it, than that was up to them. "I'm so tired of people always worrying over us. We've got it under control."
"Well obviously not." Her words hit Rox hard and she took a deep breath as she tried not show any more emotion. "Not if Ethan's sulking around and miserable and you're off in la la land."
"Shut up!" She didn't know where those words had come from but she instantly regretted them. She felt like a child, screaming at a classmate for something stupid. "Just... stay the fuck out of it."
"Rox..." Leanne wasn't really phased by her words though and she didn't even flinch.
Rox was both angry about that and thankful for it.
"I'm done." She huffed out, turning on her heel. "I'll come back later."
And with that she walked out of the door of Ethan's room without so much as another word.
"Rox... Rox!" She heard Leanne's voice calling her name as she made her way down the hall.
But she didn't stop.
And she didn't look back.
Instead, she just kept walking.
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