Title: These Women
Author: SneetchesToo
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Ethan/Rox; Ethan/Leanne friendship
Summary: The women in Ethan's life sure were giving him a run for his money.
Author's Note: The Ethan/Leanne background is killing me here, especially seeing Rox so jealous because of it. But I promise, it's not going to hurt their relationship in the long haul. Also, here's out first glimpse of Daddy!Ethan with his sassy offspring.
—
Ethan woke up and everything hurt.
His head was pounding. His back was sore. His left shoulder was on fire.
He felt like he had been hit by a truck.
A very, very large truck.
"Rox…" He whispered her name even though he was sure she wouldn't be there.
She had left him.
She had watched him walk away from her without a care in the world and she hadn't even tried to get him back.
She hated him. He was certain of it.
"It's Leanne, Ethan." The hand that was holding his squeezed tightly and he forced his eyes open.
Sure enough, it was Leanne by his side, not Rox.
He felt his heart sink.
"Where's Rox?" He knew it didn't matter.
She wouldn't come for him, even if he begged for her.
"She stepped out for a minute." Leanne's words made his head spin.
So she had been there?
"Where am I?" He was pretty certain he was at Angels.
The room looked familiar at least.
"Angels." She squeezed his hand once more and offered him a solemn look. "Do you remember what happened?"
"No. Not really." He didn't really remember much of anything after having dropped Ariel off at school that morning.
"Meth head patient used you as a punching bag." There was a soft humor to her words and he couldn't help but let his mouth curl into a smile.
He was always good at making himself a target.
"Is that so?" He wondered what he had done to piss the meth head off.
He guessed it probably didn't take much.
"You tried to subdue him," She raised an eyebrow in his direction as she spoke, "turns out even you can't handle that force."
"He hurt anyone else?" He hoped the answer was 'no'.
"Mario's got two broken ribs." That wasn't the answer he was hoping for and he let out a sigh. "He shoved me into a shelf."
"You're hurt?" His eyes snapped open fully as he squeezed her hand.
He tried to push himself into a sitting position but she laid a gentle hand on his chest.
"Some stitches on my back. But I'm fine Ethan. Really." She gave him a look that told him that it wasn't worth arguing with her over. He would never win. "You threw yourself at him when he came after me."
"Couldn't have him hurting you." He whispered.
He didn't know where those words came from.
He hadn't said anything remotely nice to her in weeks.
"That's the pain meds talking." She rolled her eyes at him as she sat up straighter in her chair.
"No." He shook his head back and forth, which was a giant mistake.
"Ethan. Stop." She whispered.
"I didn't do anything." He shrugged his good shoulder, his hand tightening it's grip around hers.
"I know where your mind is going." She pulled her hand free then, poking him gently on the chest as she relaxed back against the seat.
"Where's it going?" He raised an eyebrow at her.
He was curious to know if she really knew what was going on in his head.
Because right now, he was thinking thoughts about her that he hadn't thought in months.
"Away." She whispered.
"I hate how well you know me." He growled out.
And he did.
She knew him better than anyone and it pissed him off sometimes.
Despite having not been together in over a year, she still knew just how to read him.
And just how to get under his skin.
"Yes well, it's been almost five years Ethan," He did a double take at her words, there was no way it had been that long since they met, "if I didn't know you well by now I'd be ashamed."
"Hard to believe." He closed his eyes as he sank back against the mattress.
Five years seemed like such a long time ago.
"What?" She let the hand that was on his chest drop down to his arm, her fingers running over the exposed skin.
"That it's been five years." He opened his eyes as he stared her down.
"Feels like it's been longer." She whispered.
"Is that a good thing?" For him it felt like he had known her his whole life.
"I'm not really sure." She shook her head gently before patting his arm.
She removed her hand before he could grab it in his own and she gave him a warning look.
Down boy, down.
"Where's the kid?" He hoped that Ariel wasn't around.
He didn't need her to see him like this.
"With Noa and Mario." He was thankful for that. "They took her to get some breakfast."
Breakfast? The last thing he remembered was watching her shove the last of her donut into her mouth before exiting his vehicle and heading into school.
Had an entire day really passed without his knowledge?
"Breakfast? What day is it?" He tried to do the math in his head, but it hurt too bad for that kind of task to take place.
"Wednesday." Leanne's voice was soft and her hand returned to his.
She must have sensed his apprehension.
"She go to school today?" He knew that she went yesterday at least.
"I told her she could stay with you," He was both thankful for, and regretful of, her decision, "but that she had to at least eat first."
"Good. I've missed her." And he had missed her.
Other than picking her up and dropping her off at school the past few days he hadn't really spent any time with her.
It was his own fault. He knew that.
But he still hated it.
"I know Ethan." She squeezed his hand again and he felt his heart jump in his chest.
She really needed to stop touching him like that.
"I haven't meant to be so absent lately. I just…" He didn't even have a reason to be honest.
There were no excuses for his behavior lately.
None at all.
"I know." She squeezed his hand once more and offered him a soft look. "You're lost in your head."
"I've been feeling pretty down lately." He whispered.
"You're breakup with Rox hit you pretty hard." He hated that she knew him so well that she could tell what was bothering him without even asking.
He hadn't even mentioned their breakup to her. In fact, he hadn't mentioned it to anyone except his father.
He wondered how much of the hospital was aware of his situation.
"She just watched me leave Lea. She didn't even try to fight for me." He felt tears coming to his eyes and he slammed them both shut in an attempt to stop the waterworks. He didn't want to cry in front of Leanne. Not now, not after everything. "She didn't beg for me to stay. Nothing. She didn't care."
"She cares Ethan. Trust me." The tone of her voice made him believe her and he wondered what all she knew.
"I don't know what I did wrong." He choked out.
"I don't either." She whispered.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
He forced his eyes open once more and gave her a soft look.
He hated that he had broken his entire family because of this stupid breakup.
"I shouldn't have taken out my sadness on you and Ariel. It isn't fair." And neither one of them deserved it. Not in the least. "I made her a promise that I would stick around and I haven't been keeping my end of the bargain."
"She understands Ethan. She misses you, a lot, but she gets it." He would never understand why or how his kid was so understanding. She wanted for nothing and she rarely asked for a thing. "She just wants you to feel better. That's all any of us want."
"I don't know how to make things right with Rox." He didn't know if it was even worth it anymore. "I really don't."
"Try talking to her Ethan." Leanne's solution when they had been together had been the opposite of talking.
He wondered if she was starting to realize that that was where their downfall had begun.
"I tried that." And he had. He had just wanted to talk to her about everything. He wanted to make her see that he was there for her. That he loved her more than anything in the world. "We screamed at each other and she let me walk away."
"Well, try again." She shrugged her shoulders as she raised an eyebrow at him. "Maybe this, was exactly what you two needed to realize how important you are to each other."
"I love her Lea. More than anything in this world." He whispered.
He didn't know why he was telling her this. He didn't want to hurt her feelings or make her uncomfortable.
He hoped that the fact that they were best-friends would make up for the slight awkwardness of the conversation.
"I… I didn't know it was possible to be this happy. After… after we broke up, I thought that was it. I was destined to a life of solitude and misery." He knew he would always have Ariel, and that was okay with him. But after losing Leanne he had been a mess. "I never thought I would love again. But…"
"Rox came along…" He could hear the hurt in her voice. The regret and the pain and everything in between.
"Rox came along and I fell, hard. Harder than I've ever fallen. I love her so goddamn much." He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her. Not even Leanne. "I wanna marry her. I wanna have a family with her and grow old with her. I can't imagine my life without her in it."
And his words were beyond true.
He couldn't imagine continuing on without her by his side.
She was the best part of his life.
And other than Ariel, she was really the only part that mattered much.
"These past two weeks… I've never wanted to disappear so much." He sobbed out. Tears be damned at this point. He was hurting and he didn't care if Leanne saw it. "I've never hurt so badly."
"I know Ethan. She's a special lady." He wondered why Leanne was trying to act like it was all okay. He knew she was hurting through all of this too. "You two belong together. You're meant for each other. Everyone can see that."
"Everyone but her." He closed his eyes once more and prayed that things would just get better.
"She sees it Ethan. Trust me. She sees it." Leanne squeezed his hand tightly before moving to sit on the bed beside him. "And it scares the crap out of her. That's why she's pulling away from you."
"I need her." And he did.
He needed her more than he had ever needed anyone.
And it scared the hell out of him.
"Then you need to go and get her." She moved her hand from his to rest against his cheek.
He forced his eyes open to look at her and he let out a sigh.
She was right.
And he hated it.
He needed to fight for her, even if she wouldn't fight for him.
—
The next time Ethan woke up he instantly knew he wasn't alone.
He prayed that it wasn't still Leanne by his side.
As much as he loved the woman, she wasn't who he wanted to see right now.
"Rox…?" He whispered out the woman's name, his eyes refusing to open so that he could see who was with him.
"No dad, it's me." Ariel's voice was soft, her hand tightening it's grip around his as she spoke.
He let out a sigh at her words.
He had missed his little girl the past few weeks.
And it was due to no fault of his own.
"Ariel. Hey kid." He forced his eyes open so that he could get a good look at her. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were tear stained and he could tell that she was having about as good of a day as him. "You okay?"
"Me? You're the one who got beat up and stabbed." She rose from her spot in the chair by his bed and moved to sit next to him on the mattress. "The question should be are you okay?"
"I'm fine Angel. Just tired. And sore." In truth, he was more of an emotional wreck than he was anything else. "But I'll be okay."
"I'm glad you're okay." She whispered. "I was really scared when mom told me that you were hurt."
"I'm fine honey. I promise." He reached up with his good arm to cup her cheek against his palm.
He hated seeing her hurting like this.
He hated more than anything that he was the cause of her pain.
"I've missed you." She sniffled, her head dropping down as she tried to hide her tears from him.
"I've missed you too." He tugged on her hand gently, pulling her toward him. "I'm sorry I haven't been around sweetheart."
He watched as she hesitated for a brief second and it broke his heart.
Normally she was quick to step into his arms.
Or, in this case, crawl into them.
"It's okay." He could hear the sound of distrust in her voice and it killed him.
"No. No it isn't." He tugged once more and this time she gave in, moving to lay next to him on the bed, her head going to his good shoulder as she snuggled against his side. "I've been in this really dark place and instead of coming to you and your mom for help I shut you both out and it was wrong of me."
"I don't wanna see you hurting." She whispered, her head nuzzling against his chest as she took a deep breath. "I hate seeing you like this."
"I know babe. I'm sorry." He pressed a kiss against her hair as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders tightly. "I promise you it's nothing that you or your mom did. You hear me?"
"You and Rox broke up?" Her question was soft and he knew that she was afraid to ask it.
As much as she seemed to like Rox, she was still a bit of a sore subject between them.
He hated it, but he understood.
She may have been fifteen, but part of her was always going to be a little girl who just wanted her 'parents' back together again.
"Yeah sweetie, we did." He hated talking about it.
He wanted to act like it never happened.
"Why?" He was shocked she was inquiring about it so much.
He figured that she would just ignore it and hope it stayed that way.
"I don't really know hun. We just, did." And that was true. He didn't know why exactly they broke up.
It didn't make any sense to him why Rox had taken things so far.
"She's jealous of mom." Her words were like a stab to the heart.
He thought they had gotten over that bullshit already.
"Ariel…" He didn't want the kid involved if that was the case.
She would defend her mother until the end of time, and he was thankful for that, but he didn't want to have to explain to the girl why he wouldn't do the same.
Not in this situation. Not when it came to Rox.
He may have loved Leanne. But he was in love with Rox.
And she was the only woman he wanted to be with.
"That's what mom said. She said that Rox was jealous of your relationship with her." She looked up at him with big, curious eyes and he shook his head back and forth before letting it fall back against the pillow. "That she was afraid that she was going to lose you to her."
"Maybe that's true Angel," He knew that Rox felt that way. He knew that she was worried that he would go crawling back to Leanne any day now, "but it's not something I feel comfortable talking about."
"I get it. I mean, you and mom were together for a while." Two and a half years was more than a while in his eyes. "But you guys aren't going to get back together."
"Ariel…" He hated that she was so understanding of that.
He hated that she hadn't seemed as phased by his moving on as he thought she would.
"Dad, it's fine. I get it. I'm fifteen. I'm old enough to understand." She was definitely mature beyond her years when it came to some things. He wasn't surprised that her understanding of her parents relationship problems was one of those things. "I don't get why exactly you didn't stay together, but I get it, you're not together and that's okay."
"I know it's been hard on you." He hated that their breakup had caused the girl to be pulled in two.
They had done their best to maintain a civil relationship with each other for her sake.
He knew they didn't always succeed, but it wasn't for the lack of trying.
"It's whatever. I just want you both to be happy." He was thankful for that. "If Rox makes you happy, which I believe she does, then that's who you should be with."
"I can't believe I'm getting relationship advice from my teenager." He offered her a solemn look and she chuckled before tucking herself back against his side with a sigh.
"Yeah, well, if you'd stop being so stubborn and get your head out of your ass you probably would have been able to figure this out on your own." It was his turn to chuckle at the girl's words.
She was a force to be reckoned with, that was for sure.
"It's a good thing I love you kiddo." He dropped a kiss against her hair once more and squeezed her shoulders gently.
"Why?" She didn't skip a beat in asking him that question.
"Because if your mother knew you were talking to an adult like that she'd lose her mind." And that part was true. She would never have gotten away with talking to Leanne like that.
He, on the other hand, wanted to raise an honest woman, along with a respectful one.
"Yeah, well, the truth hurts sometimes." She said softly, her hand patting his chest as she spoke.
"Ariel…" He wanted his tone to be warning, but he didn't know if it worked.
"No dad, please. You love Rox, that much I know." He loved how everyone seemed to understand their relationship, except for Rox. "And I'm pretty sure she loves you too. I don't understand why you're letting this happen."
"Letting what happen?" He was confused by her words, he didn't understand what he was letting happen, or not happen for that matter.
"Why you're not fighting for her." She whispered.
"Who told you that?" He didn't want his daughter to think he was a quitter.
He most certainly wanted to fight for Rox. She, on the other hand, didn't want to be fought for.
"No one had too. I can just tell." Ariel's ability to observe the subtle was something he sometimes he envied. "She walks around all defeated. And you look like you've lost the will to live."
"Honey…" He didn't want her to think that about him.
He didn't want her to ever know what was going through her mind.
If she knew that he had contemplated taking his own life, at any point in time, it would break her.
And he never wanted to do that to her.
"No. Don't. I know you're hurting dad. I can see it. And it hurts." He hated that his pain was transferring over to her. It wasn't fair that she had to go through this. It wasn't fair that he was doing this to her. "I love you and I just want you to be happy."
"Oh kid." He hugged her as close to his side as he could, his lips resting against the crown of her head as he tried to bite back his own tears.
"I've already lost one dad." She whispered and he felt his heart break in his chest. "I don't wanna lose another. Please."
"I'm not going anywhere Angel. I promise." He closed his eyes tight as he felt the tears leave his eyes and he tugged her as close to his side as he could. "I love you so much more than you can imagine and I'm not leaving you."
"I just want you to be okay." She sobbed out, her arm tightening around his waist as she snuggled into his side once more.
"I know baby. And I will be." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead as he chanced a look at her face. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. He bet she only had a few minutes before she was asleep. "I promise. We'll get through this."
"Are you gonna talk to Rox?" Her question was quiet and it startled him a bit.
"I''m gonna try honey." He whispered.
"When?" He didn't know why she was so curious about their relationship all of a sudden.
"I don't know, but soon." He hoped it would be soon anyway. The longer he went without her the harder it was to get through the day. "We'll work things out."
"Good. I really like her you know?" She looked up at him with soft eyes and he offered her a smile. He was glad that she was accepting of Rox and their relationship. He wouldn't have been able to stand it if it had been any other way. "If anyone had to be my step-mom I'd want it to be her."
"I'm sure she'd love to know that sweetie." He knew that Rox was always skeptical of their relationship. That she wanted to love the teen but wasn't sure how.
She had always told him that it scared her.
That she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to do a good enough job.
That the girl would resent her or hate her.
He had been both shocked and relieved to find out that Ariel felt the opposite.
"I love you dad." She whispered, her head falling back to his shoulder as she snuggled herself closer.
"I love you too Angel." He was reminded of a small child with the way she was acting right now, but he didn't much care.
She was his girl. She had been since the day she had walked into his and Leanne's life. And she would be until the day he no longer walked this Earth.
And he would hold her like this for as long as she let him.
—
The next time Ethan woke up he could tell that the room was dark without even opening his eyes.
The body that had once been snuggled against his side was now gone and he felt almost empty at that knowledge.
He loved Ariel more than he ever thought imaginable and he was thankful for her gentle, loving presence. Especially since she always seemed to show up right when he needed it most.
He blinked his eyes a few times, trying to get them to adjust to the darkness that was currently surrounding him.
He felt a gentle hand take a hold of his and he turned his head in the direction of the movement.
"Hey you." The voice was soft, just like the hand, and he took a deep breath as his eyes adjusted and he was able to make out the person's face.
"Rox?" He whispered her name as he tried to push himself up from the bed.
He wanted her in his arms and he wanted her there now.
"It's me. Easy, easy." But then there was a gentle hand on his chest and she was pushing him slowly back toward the mattress. "Don't try and sit up just yet."
"What happened?" His brain was fuzzy and he couldn't remember the details.
He knew he was at Angels.
He remembered that much.
"You tried to be Superman and it didn't pay off so well." Her voice was quiet and her hand squeezed his as she spoke.
"That meth head?" He was starting to remember things, small things.
He mostly just remembered his conversation with Leanne from earlier in the day.
Or maybe it was only minutes ago.
He wasn't really sure about time anymore.
"Yeah. He tuned you up pretty good." She let her hand move from his chest to his cheek, her thumb brushing over his stubble as she took a deep breath.
"Everything hurts." He wondered if they were even giving him pain meds at this point, because it sure as hell didn't feel like it.
"Well he did throw you against you a cement wall after he apparently used you as a punching bag." So her story and Leanne's matched up.
He really needed to stop trying to be a hero.
"What are you doing here?" He decided to change the subject.
He wanted to know why she had come to see him.
She hadn't wanted anything to do with him for the past two weeks.
Why did she care all of a sudden.
"Noa called me." She ran her hand up and into his hair, brushing the stray locks back into place slowly.
"And you came?" He was shocked.
He certainly didn't expect her to show up.
Not after everything.
"Of course I came." She whispered.
He could hear the hurt in her voice.
He knew he had hurt her feelings with his shock, but she shouldn't be so surprised.
"I'm shocked." He whispered back.
He closed his eyes when he saw the hurt flash across her face.
He had struck her where it counted.
"Well don't be." She squeezed his hand once more, her thumb rubbing gentle circles against the back of his hand.
He laid there in silence for a few minutes, refusing to open his eyes or to speak to her.
As much as he wanted to make things right, he was still so broken that he didn't know how.
And he didn't know if she even wanted to fix things.
His mind and his heart were at serious war with each other right now and he hated it.
"You should try and sleep Ethan." Rox let her fingers still against the side of his head and he heard her let out a soft sigh. "You'll feel a lot better if you get some rest."
"Okay." He simply nodded his head at her words.
He didn't need her sympathy right now.
Even though he definitely wanted it.
"I love you." She whispered softly, her lips pressing against his forehead before he could object.
"Could've fooled me." He snapped back.
"Sleep, Ethan." She pressed another kiss to his forehead before pulling away from him and he let out a sigh.
He hated that he was doing this to her, to them, it wasn't fair.
And yet, he couldn't help himself.
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