Title: Confessions

Author: SneetchesToo

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Ethan/Rox; Ethan/Leanne friendship

Summary: Pain meds did funny things to Ethan.

Author's Note: A little bit of humor and a little bit of angst. Enjoy.

—

The next time Ethan woke up he instantly knew he wasn't alone.

There was a soft hand holding onto his and there were voices talking quietly back and forth.

He tried to force his eyes open but they were so heavy and he couldn't make them work.

In fact, his whole body felt heavy and his brain felt fuzzy and he wasn't entirely sure of anything that was going on around him.

Letting out a sigh he tried again to get his eyes to open.

He was successful, sort of, and he peered around the room through his half-lidded eyes.

"Daaad?" He could make out his father's figure sitting next to his bed and he watched as the man turned his attention to him.

"I'm here son." He felt a hand on his arm and he let his body relax back against the mattress as he closed his eyes once more.

"Where's Rox? He whispered.

He wanted Rox. No, scratch that, he needed Rox.

And their conversation from earlier hadn't been enough.

"She's working son." His father's words were soft and he tried his best to open his eyes once more.

"I need Rox." He knew he sounded like a whiny toddler, but he couldn't help it.

She was his everything and he needed her more than he ever thought possible.

"She'll be here later Ethan." The soft voice that replied to his plea clearly wasn't his father and it took him to minute to realize who it was.

"Leanne?" He whispered her name softly as he turned his head in her direction.

He could barely make out her features in the dim light of the room but he knew it was her without a shadow of a doubt.

"Yeah. I'm here." She squeezed his hand softly and he let himself relax a little bit more. "You're okay Ethan. You're at Angels."

"Am I dying?" He certainly felt like he was having an out-of-body experience.

"No son. You're fine." He could hear the humor in his dad's words and he tried to roll his eyes at the man. He was almost certain that it didn't work out to his advantage. "You're just drugged up some. You were in a lot of pain."

"Oh. Drugs." He nodded his head, or at least, he thought he nodded his head. "I like drugs."

"I wouldn't say that too loudly Ethan." Leanne's response was humorous and he wanted to flip her off, but he couldn't even figure out where his hands were so he knew that was out of the question.

"I... everything feels... great." And everything did feel great. But it also felt real fuzzy and uncertain and he wasn't even entirely sure what planet he was on right now.

"That's because you're high as a kite son." His dad patted his hand gently and he felt his lips curl upward and into a smile.

He had only legitimately been high a few times in his life and he never remembered it feeling this incredible.

"I miss Rox." He sobbed out.

He didn't know where the tears came from but all of a sudden they were there.

"We know Ethan." Leanne's voice was quiet but he could hear the hint of frustration in her words.

He wondered if that was out of jealousy or if she was actually just frustrated with him.

He guessed it was probably a little of both.

"I love her so much." He felt like such a giant baby but he couldn't stop himself.

He loved the woman more than he ever thought possible.

And for some reason, in his drug induced state, he wanted to let the whole world know it.

"We know son." Or at least, his dad and Leanne.

"I... she's so perfect." He was mumbling like an idiot but he found he didn't care. "And beautiful and smart. I love her."

"Ethan..." Leanne's voice was almost a growl and he shifted his attention toward her.

He knew his eyes were barely open but he still hoped that she could tell that he was glaring at her.

He didn't have time for her nonsense right now.

"She's the most amazing woman I know." He was hoping to stab Leanne right in the heart with that one.

If she wanted to be a jerk, he could too.

"Yes, son." He saw his dad nod his head out of the corner of his eye and he turned his attention away from the angry woman next to him.

"I wanna marry her dad." He whispered.

He wanted to marry her so bad it hurt.

She was his best-friend. His everything.

And he missed her. Terribly.

"I know Ethan." His dad even sounded frustrated with him and he wondered what he had done wrong.

Sure he was acting like a fool, but who could blame him. They had pumped him full of the good stuff.

"I wanna have her babies." He closed his eyes as he let his head fall back against the pillow with a sigh.

"It doesn't work that way Ethan..." Leanne patted his arm as she spoke and he shook his head back and forth.

He knew that wasn't how it worked, did they really think he was that stupid?

"Huh?" He opened his eyes after a second and stared at Leanne. "Oh... well... you know what I mean..."

"Yes son." His dad squeezed his hand as he spoke.

He knew he wasn't making any sense.

"She just... she's so perfect." And yet, he just kept on talking. "She makes me laugh and she makes me so happy. I don't know what I'd do without her."

"She is a special lady son." Another hand squeeze and a soft sigh and he felt slightly delirious.

Whatever they had given him was making him feel very weightless and it was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

"And she's great in bed." He had no idea where those words came from and he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

"Ethan..." Leanne slapped his shoulder gently as she growled out his name.

"I mean, she's sexy as it is, don't get me wrong, but daaaamn..." He really, really shouldn't be talking to his father and ex-girlfriend like this.

They really didn't need to know anything about his and Rox's sex life.

Although, in hindsight, his father had witnessed plenty over the past few months.

But then again, it wasn't his fault that the man never knocked.

"Son, I think you should stop while you're ahead." His dad's voice was soft, but slightly forceful and he told himself that that was enough.

"She just, she knows what she's doing and she's so..." He felt his lips curl up and into a smile, "the things she can do..."

"Ethan!" It was Leanne who shouted his name once again and he turned his head toward her, eyeing her curiously as he tried to force his eyes open a bit.

"Whaaat?" He whined out.

"Stop! Please!" She was pleading with him to stop with the dirty talk and he knew he needed to.

They didn't need to know this information.

"But..." He just wanted someone to listen to him though.

And apparently the drugs they had given him were making him declare things he would normally keep to himself.

"Son, we love you and we love Rox," He eyed his dad suspiciously while he spoke, "but we don't wanna hear about what goes on behind closed doors."

"But the sex is soooo good." He didn't know what possessed him to say that but he felt his cheeks turning red as he spoke those words out loud.

"Oh Jesus..." His dad's face probably mirrored his though, because his cheeks turned red and he ducked his head downward to avoid both of their gazes.

"I'm gonna leave now." Leanne patted his shoulder softly.

"Nooo Leanne!" She pulled from his grasp and tried to walk away but somehow he was quicker. He grabbed her hand back in his and tugged her back toward him. "Come back!"

"I think you should get some sleep Ethan." She whispered.

"But I'm not tired..." In reality, he was exhausted, he was to high to care.

"Well, I am." She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before pulling away from him completely, his hand falling to the bed with a soft thud. "Goodnight Ethan."

"Goodnight Leanne!" He didn't know why he shouted at her, she hadn't even made it out of the room yet. "I love you!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He didn't know why he had told her that, and he prayed that the wrong person, mainly Rox, didn't hear him say it.

He heard the door close behind her a second later and he turned his half-lidded eyes in his father's direction.

"Daaad?" He could tell that the man was still there so why he was calling for him in a questioning tone he didn't know.

"Yes Ethan." His father squeezed his hand as he offered him a soft look.

"I love you." He couldn't remember the last time he had told his father that.

Probably when he was still a child.

Probably long before his mother had passed away.

"I know son." His father's voice was so quiet that he barely heard it. "I love you too."

It had probably been even longer since his father had told him that he loved him.

"I love Rox too." He was full of an awful lot of love today wasn't he?

"She knows son." His dad patted his hand gently as he spoke.

"I miss her so much." He hated that they had been apart for so long.

Sure, it had only been two weeks, but dammit if it didn't feel like a lifetime.

"I know." He figured his dad was probably tired of hearing him talk about the woman.

He felt like that's all he had done the past few days.

"I want her back." He just wanted her in his arms again.

The little bit that she had been with him earlier hadn't been enough.

He wanted to run away with her and never look back.

"You'll get her back Ethan." His dad sounded so confident. "I promise."

"We had such a bad fight." He didn't even really know what their fight had been about to be honest.

"I know." He guessed that maybe his father knew more than he did.

"I don't want to lose her." He never wanted to lose her, ever.

"She hasn't gone anywhere son." Again, so confident. "She still loves you too."

"How do you know?" He was curious as to how his father seemed to know so much about their relationship, or, at the moment, the lack thereof.

"Because she told me." He said softly.

"She's the best thing that's ever happened to me." Not that he hadn't loved Leanne and the life that they had lived together, but he was a different person back then.

"Indeed she is." He was glad his father agreed because he knew that while he liked Leanne, he was much more fond of Rox and their relationship.

"Do you think we'll get married someday?" He prayed he wasn't the only one with his eyes on the prize.

"I sure hope so son." He sounded genuine in his response and Ethan felt his heart flutter.

"She's my best-friend." He whispered.

"I know." His father whispered back.

"I need her." He knew he was whining but he didn't care.

"I know." The older man didn't seem to mind it that much either.

"I've never needed anyone before." And he hadn't. Though Leanne had been special to him, he had never needed her, not like this.

He felt like he was dependent on Rox for his survival at this point.

Like he couldn't breathe without her in his life.

"No, son, you certainly have not." He wondered what possessed his dad to say that.

Maybe he knew him better than he thought.

"My head hurts dad." He said quietly.

The headache had come out of nowhere but it was painful and he all of a sudden felt dizzy.

"I know son." His dad patted his cheek softly. "You should try and sleep."

"Okay dad." He nodded his head once but instantly regretted. "Goodnight."

And the next thing he knew his head was falling back against the pillow as his eyes grew heavy.

And he was asleep before his father could even tell him 'goodnight'.

*Don't forget to comment!