Of Things You Can't Control

(OUT OF CONTROL – PART 1*)

Prologue

It is when you think you have everything under control that your life spins right out of it. Life always has other plans. And there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Yet you try. Try to change fate or control chance.

Don't. You can't control either. That is what they tell you. Because they don't expect you to succeed. And maybe you won't.

Still you keep trying. It is only human to try and bring order into chaos.

But can you control the things you didn't even know existed?

Chapter 1:

Strange new world

She woke up with a start. Suddenly there was a sharp pain rushing through her left leg like lightning. Her eyes flew open, a silent scream clinging to her open lips. She sat up, both of her hands pressed against her throbbing ankle.

"Ow."

The first thing she noticed was her bandaged left foot. Why was it bandaged? Was it broken? Well, it hurt badly, so there had to be something. But how did that happen?

Right after asking herself how her foot had ended up hurt, she finally took a look around the room. So. She was on a bed, facing a wall with a door. On her left was a desk full of scrolls and books. Turning her head, she saw a window behind her. And a windowsill with several pot plants, more books, an alarm clock and two picture frames. She leaned around to take a closer look as curiosity got the better of her.

The left picture showed a tall blond man with a brown-haired girl, a black-haired boy with goggles, and another boy with silver hair and a face mask covering everything but his eyes. The girl and the tall man were smiling, the boys looked apathetic, annoyed or at least too serious for a happy photo shoot. The other picture showed almost the exact setup. There was a happy pink-haired girl, a black-haired boy, who looked grumpy, and a blonde boy, who stared at the black-haired boy in anger or annoyance. The silver-haired man behind them was smiling – yet he was doing so with only one eye, the other was hidden under a forehead protector. He was sporting the same face mask as the boy from the other picture.

It was then that she recognized the symbol on the headbands they were all wearing.

The Leaf. Konohagakure.

She was in Konoha? How did she get here? The last thing she remembered was running through a forest somewhere in the Fire Country, chased by a few bandits she had tried to rob. Then… oh. She had fallen, right? And probably hit her head in the process. Yes, definitely hit her head. It was pounding like hell. Her hand crept up, soon pressed against her damp forehead.

Another "Ow".

She took another look around the small room. It was basically empty. Spartan, really. Seriously, who lived here?

Where the hell was she?

Slowly leaning on her right foot, she tried to crawl off the bed. As her feet gently met the cold wooden floor, she turned her head around to gaze through the window. A lot of rooftops. Some power lines. Water tanks. A cityscape. Bright daylight covering everything. So this was Konohagakure? She had never planned on visiting this village. She had her reasons to avoid large crowded areas.

That meant… someone had taken her here.

Had she been kidnapped? A rush of panic flew through her body. Wait, wait. Don't panic. It doesn't look as if you're held hostage. You are free to leave. You could escape through the window. If it's open. If your foot works. She doubted the latter. Testing that issue, she carefully tried to stand up, concentrating her body weight on the uninjured foot. It proved to be difficult. Stumbling forwards, she almost knocked the documents off the desk. Leaning onto the table top, she suddenly had the urge to listen. There were soft noises beyond the door. Against all better judgment, she decided to sneak closer. She had to know where she was and how she has gotten here. And the answer lay right behind that door.

Her hand was on the door handle, slowly pressing it down, until… The door creaked loudly. Damn! She flinched and quickly leaned back against the wall, her heart racing inside her chest. The noises stayed the same. She took a deep breath, before attempting to open the door once again. As the gap was big enough to peek through, she leaned around and looked into another room. A living room-kitchen-combo as it seemed. There was a couch, a coffee table, another window to the right, a door to the left and a small kitchen with a counter separating the two parts of the room. A few bookshelves lined the wall.

There was also the back of a tall man with messy silver hair, who seemed to be doing the dishes. With his back turned to her, she thought it safe to open the door a little wider. If she made a quick left turn, she could make it to the door without him noticing. If only her foot wouldn't hurt that much.

Her plan failed when the tall man turned around. She stopped in her tracks. The man from the picture! Even though it was only a single eye that fixated her, she felt as if he stared right into her soul. It was the weirdest feeling. Then said eye creased into a smile. She blinked.

"Hello," the man said in a relaxed voice, yet with a friendly undertone.

She blinked again.

"How's your foot?"

"My… foot…" she mouthed distractedly. Oh. My foot! "It hurts. What happened?" she then asked with a little more strength.

"You sprained it. You might also have strained a muscle or two. I'm guessing it might take a while to heal." She watched him putting away the dishes as if it was just normal to do that right now.

"Why am I here?" she asked, carefully walking closer. There was still the counter and the couch plus table between her and the strange, one-eyed man.

"I brought you here," he said, in the same chit-chat-voice that just seemed too weird for the situation.

"Why? Did you kidnap me or something? I can't remember giving you permission to bring me here!"

"That's because you were unconscious when I found you," the man replied casually.

Unconscious? Wait, what? She had been unconscious when he had found her? That man had brought her unconscious form all the way to Konoha? Her unconscious form?! There was absolutely no emotion whatsoever that could fit the situation. She stared at the back of his green vest, focusing on the red swirl in the middle. Who was that guy anyway?

"But why did you bring me here? You could have left me in the forest." She tried her best to keep her calm, even though she was twitching on the inside.

"Not with those bandits around. They seemed a bit angry at you…" The man turned around, his eye smiling at her in a very distracting kind of way. "I was just trying to help. Do not think anything else of me. You are free to leave whenever you want. I'm not keeping you. I just thought you needed a place to stay and rest before your foot is completely healed."

She blinked. Why was he… so nice to her? "You… you let me stay here until my foot is healed? Why don't you send me to a hospital or something?"

"I figured a wanderer like yourself doesn't like crowded places that much."

"A wanderer like… how did you know that?" She was a wanderer. That was true. But she had always thought she didn't look like one. How could he tell?

"Well, I was just assuming. You tried to rob those men, right? Before they turned out to be bandits themselves. You need money, you only have the bare essentials with you. You don't have much, I saw your backpack – don't worry, I didn't look through it. You wander from place to place, don't you? You don't like to be trapped in a place for long. The first thing you thought was how to get out of my apartment as soon as possible, am I right? Even now you're always looking at the door. You want to run again."

She stared at him in mild surprise. He was good. Wait, could he read her mind or something? "Well, yeah. But so what? That doesn't explain why you brought me to your place! You have to admit that's a bit strange…"

"It is," he said with a smiling eye, leaning against the counter. "I'm sorry. But I just wanted to make sure that your foot heals correctly. I couldn't leave you. I couldn't make somebody else care for you either. Please don't take it the wrong way, I just want to help you."

Help… It's been a while since anyone had wanted to help her. She usually didn't need any help. Since she has been nine years old, she had cared for herself. It had been tough at times, but seven years later she had grown used to the fact that there was nobody around to help and support her. So she had no idea how to react to someone who was trying to help her so willingly, without her asking, without any reason as it seemed. Even though she had at first thought bad about him, she didn't anymore. He didn't seem to be the type to force anyone to do anything. He was nice. He wanted to help.

"I guess I don't have another choice, do I? So… I… accept your… help," she mumbled, without looking at him. She cleared her throat. As she looked up again, he had walked around the counter towards the couch. She stiffened a bit, but he only sat down, watching her curiously. "But I'm free to leave, right?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes, you are free to leave. I wouldn't advise you to do that too soon, though. You might lose your foot. There's no running in your current state."

"But… but I'm not sleeping in your bed again!" she exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.

She heard him chuckle. She couldn't see any facial expression due to his mask – except for his smiling eye. It was interesting how much he could express with just one eye, though. "You can have the couch if you like. Or we'll find another arrangement."

"And… it's really alright for me to stay here just like that?"

"I already told you."

"Well, then… I… I need to know who you are before I can really accept the offer…"

"I thought you already accepted my help?"

"Your help, yes, but that doesn't mean I accept your couch as well."

"My name's Kakashi," he then said, looking at her encouragingly.

"Katsumi," she replied shortly.

"Katsumi, nice to meet you. Will you accept my couch now?"

"I might," she said with a tiny smile.

"It's a done deal, then," he said finally and leaned over the coffee table to grab a small orange book.

She watched him closely, while he flipped it open and started reading where he had left off. She tilted her head to read the title. "Icha Icha Paradise?"

He looked up briefly. She met his gaze.

"So, your name's Kakashi and you like to read porn in your free time. That's just enough information for me to think that you're a very, very weird man. Care to prove me wrong?"

He lowered the book, leaned back against the couch and smiled with his eye. "That does sound weird, doesn't it?" He chuckled. "Well, I am a shinobi from Konohagakure, as you might have guessed. I'm the leader of a genin team. I spent most of my time on missions. And yes, I like to read Icha Icha because I think it's very well written."

Katsumi snorted at his last comment. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He watched her, the smile fading slowly. "What about you, Katsumi with the sprained foot? Do you care to tell me something about yourself? … You can sit down, you know?" he added, as she once again tried to keep her balance on her right foot. It was really hard to stand correctly with a wildly throbbing foot.

She sighed quietly, before following his asking, sitting down on the other side of the couch, as far away from him as possible. Slowly, she turned her head to him.

"Well, I'm Katsumi, I'm a wanderer as you guessed correctly. I don't have a home. I left my village… when I was nine years old. I don't have family, I'm not an educated ninja, I'm just a wanderer. Because of that I don't have that many hobbies… Well, wow, I do sound boring, don't I?" she closed with a sigh, while looking at her hands.

"You're not boring," she then heard him say with that soft, almost expressionless voice of his. "You have quite the troubled life. I find that fascinating."

She almost cracked a bone as she looked up at him in surprise. "Fascinating…?"

"And sad. I have no idea how it is not to have a home to return to. I do know how life is without a family, though. It's not always pleasant, right?"

Katsumi stared into his eye. Dark gray, as she now noticed. "Of course not," she said quietly. "But I learned to cope."

"Why are you wandering, Katsumi?"

She continued watching him closely. She had no idea why, but she liked how he said her name. It sounded nice. "I don't know. I just never found a place to settle down… a place where I felt at home. I don't bond with people that easy…"

"Really? You don't look like the shy type."

"I am, believe me," she replied, looking across the room for a change. "It's only in situations where I don't have another choice that I might talk a bit more. You really don't leave me any other choice."

"I'm that persuasive, huh?" He chuckled.

She smiled a bit. He was. "You are a smooth talker."

He smiled at that. Putting his book on the table again, he leaned towards her a bit – there was still a lot of space between them – and looked at her. "Are you hungry?"

"Hmm?" That surprised her yet again. "Wait, you're not only offering me a couch, but also food?"

"You are also allowed to use the bathroom, you know?" he replied laughing.

She grinned slightly at that. "I feel as if I shouldn't accept this kind offer… I mean, I don't know you. You don't know me. And yet you're offering me to rest and heal at your place. Just like that. I mean, I've accepted that there is no ulterior motive, but still… I feel like… invading your privacy."

"You don't. I offered, you accept. Or do you want to do something for that?"

She stared at him. Was it just her or did that sound as if he was asking her to work for the couch, food and bathroom? Seriously?

He rolled his eye. "Would you stop your dirty thoughts? I thought girls don't have dirty minds."

"I… hey, I don't!"

"Come on! All this time you expected me to jump you! I won't, okay? Unless you ask nicely…"

"What… You pervert!" She couldn't help blushing though.

Kakashi laughed at that. "I might be, but don't worry, okay? You are my guest. I offer you a couch, food and a bathroom. I don't expect you to do anything else. Deal with it. Though I wouldn't mind if you decide to clean the place a bit…" He stood up slowly, still watching her curiously. She stared up at his tall form, still bewildered.

"O-okay," she muttered.

"So, are you hungry now?"

"I… I'm starving, to be honest." She decided to follow him to the kitchen, carefully keeping her distance.

"Alright. Let me fix something up for you."

"Won't you be eating as well?"

"What is this? Kindergarten? I only eat when you eat too? I just had lunch. But I can watch you while you eat, alright?"

"Now that doesn't sound weird and pervert-y at all," she replied laughing.

He grinned – his eye did at least –, before he turned to the kitchen cabinets. "How about some instant ramen? That's all I have left here… I have to shop tomorrow, I guess."

"Please, don't overdo it. Give me some bread and water and I'm fine…"

"Then I would be a bad host, wouldn't I?"

She looked down, squirming. It still didn't feel right to invade this man's private space. Even though he offered it to her.

"Don't feel bad, alright?" she then heard his soft voice close to her. Looking up, she found him standing next to her, leaning down to her a bit. She stiffened slightly and blinked. "Be my guest. Please. That's everything I ask of you."

Katsumi nodded slowly. "Okay," she mouthed.

He smiled, leaned back and turned towards the cabinets again. "It's decided then. Ramen it is!"

She smiled at his back. What a weird man… and what a weird day. She had woken up in Konoha, met a one-eyed man named Kakashi, who had selflessly offered a place to rest and heal to her. It was weird. Weird being the word of the day. Yet, the longer she stood in this strange kitchen next to the strange man, talking about whatever came up, the more comfortable she felt. Maybe it was time to take a break from wandering. Not that she had any other choice to begin with. But still. She had to see this as a sign. Taking a break was a good thing. She had to rest. After seven years of wandering, it was about time.

And why not with this strange man…

Shoving aside every inappropriate thought, she decided to accept his offer.

A/N:

This story arc is set at the beginning of the Naruto storyline, between Team 7's trip to the Land of Waves and the beginning of the Chunin-Exams (a two month time frame). Kakashi is 26 in this, he had only had a few minor missions with Team 7 (who are then of course 12 years old), and nothing major (apart from their first big mission) had happened yet. Katsumi (if you were doing the math) is 16 (she was 9 when she left her village + walking around for 7 years = 16).

And yes, I see the age difference. Even though nothing had happened yet, you have to be aware that there might, this is a romance-fic after all. I'm not telling you what exactly will happen, but something will happen between Kakashi and Katsumi. DESPITE the age difference. You just have to be a bit open-minded, okay? Please? Kthxbye.

Oh, right, there was a * in the title, remember? This is part of a longer series I'm writing, consisting of a lot of original characters. This is the only one with characters from the Naruto world, so it gets a special display. For more info on that, go check out my other story called OUT OF LUCK.

ALSO: This story was last updated 9 years ago, that's 2011 for you. It is 2020 now. Yep, things happened and I am sorry for not updating, but here I am again, with at least three new chapters waiting for anyone still (or again) reading this. I also edited and re-arranged the old chapters, so I would advise you to re-read before you can move to the newest chapter (8) that will be dropped in a short while (promise!)!

Disclaimer:

Naruto (incl. Kakashi and Konohagakure) (c) Kishimoto Masashi
Katsumi (c) me

Next: Now that Katsumi accepted to stay at Kakashi's, what will happen next? And what are Kakashi's real motives? Find out in the next chapter(s)!

Thank you for your time!