Of Things You Can't Control

Chapter 3

Hands that grab and arms that hold

"I look hideous!" she muttered as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. The sweater he had given her was way too big. It looked like either a weirdly fashionable potato sack or a very ugly dress. Oh well. She had tried to tie it up a little by using the green hair band she usually wore as a belt, but it still looked awful. Especially since the sleeves almost reached down to her knees. Yet she didn't have another choice, did she, seeing that the only thing she had left was the shirt-shorts-combo she was still wearing underneath. He had offered it, knowing that the rest of her clothes (which wasn't much) had just been washed and was now drying somewhere outside in the cool fall breeze. Laundry day had to be today…

Katsumi sighed deeply, quickly putting her red hair into a ponytail, before leaving the bathroom. Kakashi was sitting on the armrest of the couch, his arms crossed in front of his chest (he was also wearing a dark sweater now). He looked up when she emerged. And of course his eye was grinning at her. Of course!

She looked away. "Don't say anything," she said and walked/hobbled towards the door.

"I wouldn't dare," he replied and she heard him follow her slowly.

She stopped with her hand on the door handle, while slipping into her sandals with a bit of difficulty. "So… where are we going?" Meaning: Can I be seen with you looking like this?

He chuckled, seemingly noticing the hidden question. "Just outside, there won't be many people, I promise. Maybe we could also get something to eat… we'll see. I just want to show you around a bit."

"Okay," she said with a quick glance behind her.

And with that, Katsumi set foot into the village that was Konohagakure.

Alright. Not many people, huh? Screw that! Everywhere they went there were tons of people! They all seemed to have decided to go outside tonight. Awesome… And here she was, not being a people-person… Thanks, Kakashi!

She was walking slowly beside him, even a bit behind, unsuccessfully trying to hide behind him whenever someone looked her way. It was useless.

"Kakashi?" she then asked quietly as they entered a less busy side street.

"Hmm?" he replied lazily, while walking casually next to her, with his hands in his pockets.

"Am I even allowed to be in Konoha?" She had heard that no stranger could gain access to the village without permission. So she was wondering why she hadn't been kicked out yet…

He turned his head to her. "Of course you are."

"But… I'm not from here. I could be a spy or a villain, you know?"

He smiled at that. "Yeah, but you're not."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, looking up at him curiously.

"I'm not. But I'd say my people skills are rather good, though." His eye creased into a smile.

"Your… people skills. I see…" she muttered. "So you've seen through me already?"

Kakashi looked more serious at that. "Well, I still don't know anything about you, now do I? It's not as if you share everything with me so easily. Not that I would expect you to. You are a lonesome wanderer after all, aren't you?"

"Yeah…" she whispered, while playing with her much too long sleeves. Lonesome, huh? "And you still seem to trust me…"

"Do you mean I shouldn't trust you?"

She looked up at that, blinking. "That's not what…"

"Don't worry, Katsumi," he then said with a smile. "You are welcome here. It's not as if I'm housing an illegal immigrant."

"Well, you never know…" she muttered. "I mean, not that I am… but… oh, never mind…"

She heard him chuckle and sighed. So, if she was welcome in Konoha, who besides Kakashi knew that she was here? She was about to ask him that, when they reached another crossroads, leading them onto a much more popular street. Katsumi froze immediately at the sight of the masses of people.

"Where… where exactly are we going, anyways?" she asked quietly, trying to stay close to him while they proceeded along the street.

"I just wanted to show you a few shops and restaurants," he replied, before turning left towards a small shop labeled "Ichiraku Ramen". Ramen again? Seriously?

Yet before they could even come close, a small blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit approached them. Katsumi automatically hid a bit behind Kakashi.

"Hey, hey, Kakashi-sensei!" he yelled excitedly.

"Oi, Naruto. I should have guessed to see you here…" he answered the boy beaming up at him. Katsumi turned her attention from the boy to Kakashi curiously. Sensei, huh? She remembered one of the pictures he had on his window sill. Yeah, this must be the blonde boy, one of his genin.

"Hey, hey, is this your girlfriend?" the boy suddenly blurted out, causing Katsumi to choke on her breath for a second. She felt several gazes on her. Try not to blush! Failed miserably…

When Kakashi didn't respond in any way (other than looking totally expressionless), she cleared her throat, took a step around Kakashi and smiled down at the boy. "I'm not, I'm just a visitor. My name's…" Snap, don't tell him your real name! You never know who's listening! "…Yuki." Now she had Kakashi's attention.

She ignored his raised eyebrows.

"A visitor? Where're you from, then?" The boy screwed up his eyes and stared at her.

"A faraway place," she replied. "You probably don't know it anyway."

"Hmmpf."

"Hey, Naruto, don't forget about your ramen!" Kakashi suddenly, yet in that lazy tone of his, interrupted the interrogation. Thank goodness. The boy immediately turned around, ran into the shop and ignored them altogether. "Come on, Yuki," Kakashi then said to her, stressing the name by raising his eyebrows a bit more. "There are more places to look at."

Katsumi followed him along the road, not saying anything. Her mind was racing.

Once they were a bit away from the ramen-shop, he inclined his head to her and whispered: "Yuki? What's that all about?"

Damn! She had feared for this question to come. "Well, um, you know, I'm… I'm a wanderer, I have many names…" What was she supposed to tell him?

Kakashi looked at her doubtfully.

"Well, alright, I don't want everyone to know my real name, okay?" she then replied, staring down at the pavement. Please don't ask any more questions…

She heard him chuckle. "I consider myself lucky, then, huh?"

Katsumi looked up quickly, something red creeping into her cheeks at once. "Well, I figured since you were so kind to let me stay at your place, allowing me to invade your private space, I could give you my real name…"

His eye creased into a smile. "Thank you for the trust."

She swallowed at that. Why was he so freaking nice, damn it? He was making everything so much more complicated… A sigh escaped her lips. "You're welcome," she then muttered, finding it hard to look at him directly, so she fixated her gaze onto his masked chin.

She stared at it a tad too long, to be honest. Especially with her still walking beside him. Suddenly, there was something in her way. Her head snapped back towards the street, her feet hobbled over the pavement and in the next second, she had lost her balance, stumbling forwards, her face very close to the ground. Yet she never reached it. There were two hands holding her waist.

Katsumi inhaled sharply, as she was lifted up and set onto her feet again. The hands stayed a moment longer, before they were withdrawn. She swallowed. Then she looked up.

"You sure are clumsy," Kakashi said with a happy-eye-crease-smile.

She gathered all her might to fight the blush creeping up. This was so annoying! "That's because I have a freaking sprained ankle!" Her voice was a tad too sharp. She cleared her throat. "I mean… thanks…" she then muttered, while staring at her feet. Wow, from angry to embarrassed in less than a second. This new range of emotions sure was awesome! …Not!

"Hey," she then heard him say rather cheerfully – and changing-the-topic-ly. "How about I get us something to eat and then we'll return to my apartment? I guess it's enough fresh air for one evening, right?"

She looked up at him… and smiled. "Yes, that sounds nice."

He nodded. "Alright, will you wait here? Or do you want to come with me?"

"I'll… I'll wait outside," she replied quietly as she noticed the restaurant he had picked to get some take-out. It sure looked crowded and very popular.

"Alright then. I'll be right back." With that he disappeared into the shop.

Katsumi sighed and looked around the street warily. The sun was already setting; the streets were tinted yellow-ish-red from various streetlamps and shop signs. A few groups of people were gathered in front of the different shops and stands. Voices echoed loudly through the evening, laughter, arguments, conversations. No one was looking at her.

Maybe she didn't need to worry that much about being noticed (or worse: recognized). Nobody seemed to care about a new face. Katsumi sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, as a cold breeze swirled around her bare legs. Even though the sweater reached almost down to her knees… Maybe some pants would have been the better clothing choice… She decided to walk a bit, standing sure was easier on her foot, but walking would keep her warm.

She only walked a few feet, before she could hear loud voices coming from a small side road she had just passed. Trying to ignore the noises altogether, Katsumi went on… until someone, obviously drunk, called out to her.

"Hey, redhead! What's with the muumuu?"

She stiffened slightly, clutching the sleeves of the sweater so hard her knuckles turned white. Do not turn around! Just walk on! They'll lose interest in you and move on. Just… relax! Her heart began racing the moment she heard footsteps behind her. Her own pace quickened – even though her foot was hurting more the faster she went. She tried to ignore it. Suddenly there was a swooshing sound beside her. She turned her head towards the noise – and noticed another side street she had just passed. Along with a group of tall men gathered in the middle of it.

Katsumi couldn't help but gasp, as she once again quickened her pace. It was then that her ankle had enough. The pain rushed through her like lightening. She lost her balance, stumbled sideways and almost tripped – if it wasn't for the body that was suddenly in her way. Turning her head, trying to regain her balance, she saw a dark-haired man grinning at her. His eyes looked her up and down.

"Hey, what's the rush, redhead?"

She stared hard at the guy, before stepping away cautiously. But just as she turned around to leave, she noticed another guy blocking her path. Her heart leapt into a faster pace. No…

In the exact same moment as she felt a hand on her back, she felt something else surround her. It felt hot, burning even. She had no idea what it was, but it seemed to radiate from her own skin. She gasped. What was that? Before she could figure it out though, someone pushed her into the narrow side street.

She wanted to shriek in surprise and shock, but there was a hand covering her mouth. Her heart seemed to explode, her lungs aching for breath. The heat surrounding her grew stronger. Suddenly there was a yelp – yet it didn't come from her. The man, who had held her, was shaking his hand as if it had been burned. He stared at her with wide, angry eyes.

"What's up with her?"

"I have no idea!"

"Is that…"

Another man broke from the group that had decided to surround and stare at her motionlessly. He was tall and slightly more muscular than the others. Katsumi swallowed hard as he approached her with curious eyes.

"You're something special, huh?"

"No, I'm not," she whispered, trying to back away, until she bumped into a wall. Damn it!

"Oh, she can talk. But I think you are special, honey. It's almost as if you're glowing…"

She was panting slightly as he watched her way too closely. Her skin was tingling. It was way too hot… way too…

Then he grabbed her shoulders, pushed her against the wall and pressed his grinning mouth onto her lips. The stench of alcohol was overwhelming. She wanted to gasp, to protest, to kick him, but he held her too firmly, and the shock was too intense, she couldn't move. She could only stare. It lasted only a few seconds until the guy backed away with a groan, rubbing his face as if she had slapped him.

Katsumi blinked with her mouth open.

"Damn it, what are you doing?" the guy yelled at her, now rubbing his hands.

She wasn't doing anything… The heat was still hanging around her like an invisible net. Her skin was burning, yet it didn't hurt. It just felt weird. The men were all staring at her now, angry, curious, a bit cross-eyed, yet still anxious and restless. Like a group of hungry wolves. She swallowed, her palms pressed against the cold stone wall behind her.

"Let me try," another voice suddenly interrupted the silence.

Some guy on the left was approaching her now, with the others still watching.

"Maybe she needs to relax first…"

"Please don't…" she whispered helplessly. She felt like prey, cornered by too many predators.

"Oh, don't whimper, redhead. I won't hurt you…" His voice was soft, yet laden with drunken arrogance. He was taller than the last guy. She hoped she could see more than just their shadows, but the side street wasn't sporting any lights. The only light from the main road seemed too far away…

Another second passed… ticking away way too slowly, with her heart jumping against her chest, her knees growing weaker by the moment, her breath escaping her in hurried puffs. Suddenly his hands were all over her. She gasped, unable to put more strength into her voice. She could feel his touch on her bare legs, running up under the hem of the sweater – that suddenly was way too short to be worn like this. Another whimper escaped her. His hands were reaching her shorts, a thumb already under the fabric. Oh no…

As she realized what was about to happen, she felt the need to raise her knee and kick him, yet it was then that he pressed his body against her, pushing her into the wall, making it impossible for her to move at all. She squirmed under the pressure, arching her neck to get away from him, as he looked up, ready to press his mouth onto hers. His hand was running along the inside of her thigh now, slowly upwards. The touch was way too… way too…

Her skin was tingling, stronger than ever before. It felt as if something was boiling beneath it. The heat radiating from her was immense, even for her. Sweat was running down her temple. Her heart was drumming inside her chest. Her lungs were screaming for air, as if she was underwater and unable to breathe. The hand on her thigh moved slightly higher and…

Katsumi closed her eyes.

Then, everything went past in a blur.

Someone yelped in pain, voices grew louder, angry, drunken, raging. Footsteps came closer, she felt herself sliding down to the pavement, exhausted. A new voice cut through the noises. Someone flew just beside her into the wall. Dust and debris crumbled to the ground. More sounds of bodies being hit were heard. She felt utterly tired. Her arms were hanging loosely by her side, her hands lying palm-up on the dirty ground, her legs in a weird position beneath her body, her sprained ankle hurt. The voices and noises grew fainter. The heat, which was still radiating from her skin, boiled angrily around her.

Darkness fell.

She was standing in the middle of the large market place again. In front of her loomed the huge black pile. Of bodies… of her dead parents… of the dead people of her village… everyone was dead… everyone was burning… the buildings were on fire… the village was burning to the ground… everyone was dead…

She was standing, with her little hands shaking badly, in the middle of it. She had no idea how long she stood there. She couldn't move. She could only scream. And she screamed until her lungs were tired… and even then she was still shrieking, full of shock, panic, fear, despair… She felt so small and so alone and so shaken, she was barely noticing anything around her. Not the dying flames, not the dead eyes fixed on her, not the approaching group of uniformed ninjas coming her way. There were voices. She could barely hear them amidst her own shrieks.

Then there was a hand. Slowly approaching, carefully, cautiously. Someone was talking to her soothingly.

She stopped screaming. Her tear-soaked gaze fell on a mismatched pair of eyes. The gloved hand was still held in front of her, asking her to take it. She couldn't move. She couldn't even blink. The man kneeling in front of her was watching her closely. There was the mask of a fox pushed onto the side of his head. Yet she still couldn't see his face. His hand moved slightly forwards.

She shrieked again. "No, please don't scream," a voice close by whispered. "I'm here to protect you."

Suddenly her feet were moving. She was running away from the man, running and running, until her little feet gave way and she stumbled. She fell to the ground, landed on her hands, scraping them on some rough stones. They hurt, her feet hurt, and her lungs hurt. Everything hurt. She cried. She could still feel the heat of the flames on her skin, even though she was running into the nearby forest, away from the burnt-down village. She ran and ran, the heat radiating from her, following her like a shadow. Suddenly there were hands holding her back. She kicked and kicked, screaming, then someone yelped in pain and let her go.

She ran on. Until darkness swallowed her.

"Katsumi!"

A voice crept closer.

"Katsumi…"

It was so close, right by her ear. There was someone kneeling in front of her, she could feel their body warmth. Her eyes flew open in an instant, as she remembered the touch and the drunken men and… her memory… A tear ran down her cheek as she looked up in terror. She gasped as she recognized the face in front of her.

More tears escaped her eyes. She felt so exhausted… so tired… so weak… She couldn't help but move forwards in one last conscious movement and hug her arms around the person in front of her. As she was leaning against his chest, with tears wetting his shirt, everything drained from her. She sunk into herself… being held by two strong arms.

"It's alright now," she heard him say quietly. "Don't cry. I'm here…"

His voice was fading. She closed her eyes in utter exhaustion. Her skin felt cold again.

"I'm here to protect you…"

The words were lost inside her mind as she fell into unconsciousness, where old and new memories blended together, where terror and fear were overrun by the feeling of safety and warmth…

A/N:

Disclaimer:

All of Naruto-universe (including Konohagakure and Kakashi) belong to Kishimoto Masashi. Katsumi, however, is a figment of my own imagination. There was a reference to one of my all-time-favorite TV-shows also (something about a "muumuu"). Whoever recognized it, gets a million gold stars!

Next: Expect a lot more backstory – and Kakashi's point of view.

Thank you for your time!