Of Things You Can't Control

Chapter 4

Flashbacks

She was lying on the couch, motionless. He watched her from the desk in his bedroom. She had been sleeping for three days now. Something was wrong, he could tell.

Sighing, Kakashi lowered the pen he'd been writing his reports with and closed his eye for a moment. Maybe it had been wrong to bring her here… But he couldn't have left her in the forest, all by herself. He had made that mistake once… He should have been glad to even out the past by meeting her yet again – even though it had taken him seven years.

Considering her past, it was miraculous what had become of Torishimari Katsumi. Bearing witness to the destruction of one's own village… seeing everyone she knew lying dead in the middle of the square… dead eyes staring at her… buildings she had once walked into collapsing to the ground… numerous fires burning down everything there was… It must have been more than traumatic. He had no idea what was going on inside her mind, yet on the outside, Katsumi seemed to cope rather wonderfully with those memories. Maybe she had suppressed it (he knew he would have), burying everything in a very dark corner somewhere in her mind, where it lay, boiling, waiting to burst free…

Kakashi opened his eye and turned his head towards her sleeping form again. She looked so peaceful… Three days ago, when he had found her surrounded by those drunken idiots, she had looked horrified. It had reminded him of a night seven years ago…

The news of the destruction of the Torishimari/Arashi-clan was still fresh when Konoha's ANBU had arrived at the scene. Their primary mission had been to confirm the annihilation of the village. To make sure that their secrets would be concealed – either by verifying there was no one left alive or by bringing home those who had survived the massacre – even though the latter seemed highly unlikely considering their information.

Long before that day, where it had all ended, there had been rumors. Both clans, Torishimari and Arashi, who had lived together peacefully in their own tiny village somewhere in the far south-east corner of the land of fire, each had a different bloodline limit, a Kekkei Genkai that was both considered dangerous and unique enough to be wanted by other clans and individuals.

While the Arashi-clan, whose affinities were both water and lightning, could control the weather/clouds by mixing those affinities to create a new element, thus creating storms, etc., the Torishimari-clan, with fire and water being their elements, used the oppositeness of their affinities to create a chakra-force-field with their own bodies (presumably being able to let heat radiate from their own skins by making the water inside boil).

Their secrets were considered S-rank classified. Even though very powerful, no one really knew how those Kekkei Genkai really worked. Still, everyone wanted to have a piece of the cake, knowing that those two Kekkei Genkai could have been very useful in a fight against the countries.

The Torishimari/Arashi clan, however, never wanted to use their powers to rule others, they just wanted to live together peacefully – using their secret gifts only to protect themselves.

But living a wealthy, peaceful life would always get others jealous. When the rumors started of who would annihilate the clans, the misery began.

There were those, who feared that the two clans would someday use their bloodline limits to gain more power. They were likely to consider a full extermination of the entire village, leaving absolutely no trace of life behind.

Then there were those, who were seeking to have the same powers. Kekkei Genkai could not be copied, they only worked by transplanting the responsible organs. Yet no one knew which organs were carrying the bloodline limit, so they would consider a kidnapping and an autopsy/examination of the strongest clan members in order to gain the knowledge of their secrets.

Whoever would succeed in their plan to rid the world of those bloodline limits, would ultimately destroy the village. There was no doubt about that. However, only those watching the Torishimari/Arashi-clan were aware of that.

When the decision was being made, the village of the two clans had no idea what was coming for them. It had been a gruesome massacre. Mindless killings. Only for the sake of power and then withholding of that power.

In the end, the entire village had been burnt to the ground. Every single citizen had been killed. There had been no survivors. Those, who had feared the power of the two clans to spread, had won. The secrets of the Torishimari/Arashi-clan died with them. Every corpse had been burnt – in order to bury the secret of their Kekkei Genkai with them.

It had been the most horrible sight Kakashi had ever seen – and he had seen a lot, even considering him only being 19 years old on the day the ANBU were sent to the destroyed village. They had been too late. The rumors were there, yet the annihilation itself had been too quick to have been stopped. They had arrived when the flames had already died…

Their mission had been to see if there were any survivors. In that case, the Hokage wanted them to bring them to Konoha – in order to protect them from others. Even though there had been other rumors that Konoha just wanted the Kekkei Genkai for themselves … but evil-tongues could be found anywhere and were likely to be ignored, Kakashi knew that best.

Due to their information, it had been unlikely to find any survivors – yet when Kakashi's ANBU squad had arrived at the scene, they had been more than surprised to find a little girl in the middle of the destruction. Her red hair had been glowing in the light of the dying flames. It had been Kakashi, who had approached her first.

He could still remember her screams…

She must have been nine at that time, a tiny girl, with huge green eyes that had reflected the fires around. She had been frightened, horrified, terrified. He had approached her carefully, one gloved hand stretched towards her, closely watching her until she had somehow stopped screaming. She had stared at him instead. He had been able to see the horrors she must have experienced. Such a small child… bearing witness to such a massacre.

He had moved slightly closer – causing her to shriek in panic. He had tried to comfort her ("No, please don't scream… I'm here to protect you."), but she had backed away, wide eyes staring up at him, before she had turned around, running clumsily into the nearby forest.

His first reaction had been to let her run. She must have been frightened enough, it would have been a mistake to take her away against her will – especially by strange, heavy armed, uniformed men. She wouldn't have understood what they had wanted from her. She was only a child after all.

His second and last reaction, however, had been to follow her, follow his orders. She had been rather quick, but he had reached her before she could have gotten to the forest. He hadn't hesitated to grab her, knowing deep within that he had been sent to help and protect her, the sole survivor, not to harm or frighten her.

That had been the first time he had witnessed the Kekkei Genkai of the Torishimari-clan.

Of course he had heard of it, but he had never experienced it. As soon as his arms had closed around the girl's tiny body, he had felt a sudden heat radiating from her. It had been painful and uncomfortable, yet he had tried to ignore the sensation, as he had attempted to calm the kicking girl in his grasp. But the heat had turned into an unbearable thing. It had been hot, burning, blazing, knocking the breath out of his lungs, singeing the hair on his arms. He had fought the feeling until the stench of burned fabric and flesh had hit his nose. The pain had been overwhelming.

He had let her go, pushed back by the force-field that surrounded her like an invisible cloak. It was only due to his Sharingan that he had seen the flaming red aura radiating from her skin. He had watched her disappear into the forest, knowing that whatever came her way would have had no chance to stop her. Slumping to the ground, he had taken a closer look at his arms. She had burned him through his gloves. The fabric had been almost gone except for the metal pieces still clinging to it, while his skin had been deep red, sporting heavy burns.

It had taken him several weeks to fully recover from that experience.

Looking at his hands, Kakashi could still see one spot on his right forearm, near the wrist, where the skin hadn't been able to heal completely. The spot was slightly darker than the rest of his arm. He sighed and looked up again, turning his head towards the sleeping form of the sole survivor of the Torishimari/Arashi-massacre that had robbed the world of two more clans in just one night around seven years ago. But what was one little scar compared to the horror of losing everything? Losing not only her parents, but everyone else as well, losing her home, her village, her refuge, absolutely everything?

That day, when his ANBU squad had returned home, the information about one surviving member of the Torishimari-clan had become one of the most classified secrets of shinobi history. If word were to come out that there was one person left with the Kekkei Genkai of the Torishimari-clan, a manhunt of unspeakable measure would break loose. The Hokage had declared for that information to stay sealed. Everyone involved had to never speak of it again. For the rest of the shinobi world, the village of the Torishimari/Arashi-clan had been completely destroyed, leaving nothing behind but ash. There had been no survivors. Period.

It had been some kind of miracle that it had been he of all people, who had found Katsumi seven years later. He had recognized her right away, even though he had only met her in her unconscious form without her green eyes staring at him. Yet somehow he had known that she had been the girl from the destroyed village. She had changed quite a bit, she wasn't small anymore (or at least not little anymore, she was still far away from being what one would call tall). She had turned into a fine young woman, her hair had grown longer over the years, her features lean and proportionally fitting (he kind of slapped himself mentally for thinking about her form like that…). Despite everything that had happened to her, she seemed to have been grown up just fine.

It had been an easy choice as to what he would have to do after he had found her lying unconscious in the forest. (The Bandits she seemed to have provoked had turned around immediately at the sight of him.) As he had been coming home from a mission anyway, it had been obvious that he would take her with him. Yet he had taken his time to go to the Hokage, doing so only after he had brought her to the safety of his apartment, because he had unconsciously known that she would not be seen as a guest, but more like a test subject – even though the Hokage had issued to protect any survivor of said massacre, it had been clear that the Elders would have found it useful to examine her for the sake of the village.

About two weeks ago, he had stepped before them. He could still see the frowns of the old people's faces.

"So she is in Konoha? Where exactly?" one of the Elders had asked.

"A safe place," he had replied. He had not been willing to tell them where exactly.

"Kakashi, where is that girl?"

"She is safe, that is the most important thing."

"Are you sure it's her?" the Hokage had asked over his interlaced fingers.

"Yes, I am sure it's Torishimari Katsumi."

The Elders had stared at him in skepticism. The Hokage had been calm.

"Kakashi," he had asked him in that composed voice of his. "Why aren't you telling us where she is?"

He had looked into the Third's eyes and had said: "Because I don't want her to feel like a test subject or a classified case. She is a human being. It is a miracle that, after what she had witnessed, she still grew up to be a normal person. She has the right to continue her life like this. No one will ever know that she is the last member of the Torishimari-clan. Unless she stays safe and is not treated as if her Kekkei Genkai is still an issue of importance."

"But it is still an issue of importance!" one of the Elders had exclaimed. "We need to make sure she is safe and under our surveillance. The threat her existence is bringing upon Konoha is…"

"She is not a threat!" Kakashi had interrupted the older woman. "With all due respect, I don't believe there is any threat to anyone involved. If we don't make this a big issue, no one will…"

"For the last time, this IS a big issue, Hatake-san," another one of the Elders had addressed him in a strict tone. "If her secret is revealed, do you even know what that'll mean for Konoha, let alone our world?"

He had sighed, visibly annoying the Elders by doing so. "Her secret won't be revealed." He had waited for a response, then continued: "She will be safe. I will make sure of that!"

If he had known that two weeks later he had to face the Hokage yet again regarding that issue, he hadn't been that confident to begin with. Because he had failed. Sort of.

"What exactly happened?" the elder man had asked.

Sighing, Kakashi had told him about the group of drunken men that had cornered Katsumi, leading to her using her Kekkei Genkai to fight them off. He had also stressed that he had taken her back to his place (because by now the Hokage already knew where he was hiding her, damn ANBU squads…) and that the men might not remember the incident anyway due to acute drunkenness and several hits to the head.

"You realize that the Elders will not be pleased to hear this," the Hokage had replied with a tired shake of his head.

"I am aware of that," he had said – thinking: "They do not necessarily have to hear about it anyway…"

"Why have you been outside with her anyways?"

"Hokage-sama, with all due respect, I believe locking her up in my apartment sure is not what I had in mind when I said to treat her like a normal person. She does need a bit of fresh air, don't you think?"

"Of course. How is her ankle?"

"Healing just fine."

"And the fever she's developed?"

"I'll keep my eyes on that. But I believe it will be soon gone again. She is strong."

"You don't plan on taking her to the medics?"

"Not yet."

"You still don't trust our intentions, am I right?" And with that the Hokage had hit the mark.

Kakashi had bowed his head a bit. "I am sorry to say that, but… yes."

"Kakashi…"

"Hokage-sama, believe me, I do trust your opinion. I'm just afraid, the Elders might differ from it."

"You are quite fond of the girl, am I right?" There had been a smile on the lined face of the elder man.

Kakashi had kept his cool. "I just don't want her to end up as a guinea-pig. That is all."

"I see," the Third had then said. "Alright. Your mission will continue like this: keep a close eye on her, let her stay out of harm's way and… if you still have time after doing that and teaching your genin team, you might as well help her control her abilities. I hereby give you permission to do that – as long as you do it in private. If there is only one person witnessing her power, we are all in trouble. Do you understand?"

Kakashi had nodded and bowed. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

He had then been dismissed, returning to his apartment to find Katsumi still motionless on his couch.

It's been three days now. She had slept nonstop. The fever began to slightly worry him. Maybe he should take her to the medics after all… but that would mean he had to explain why she had such a high temperature. This wasn't a normal fever, he was well aware of that. He was almost certain that it had to do with her Kekkei Genkai. Maybe she hadn't used her inborn force-field in a while – or ever since that night her village had been burnt to the ground. Maybe she had suppressed the ability until now, which put a huge strain on her body, resulting in lack of chakra and stamina.

A fever was usually a sign of the body healing itself. He had no idea whether or not it was part of the bloodline limit for her to be able to regenerate herself. Maybe she wasn't able to do that. He just had to wait and see.

When she finally regained consciousness, she woke up with a muffled cough. Kakashi got up from his desk and walked slowly into the living room. Her eyes were mere slits as she looked around the room, as if to figure out where she was. Her hair was clinging to her sweaty face; despite her high temperature she looked as pale as death. The fever seemed to get worse by the minute.

"How are you feeling?" he then addressed her as her eyes flickered over him for a moment.

Her voice was nothing but a choked whisper. "Dizzy…"

Kakashi sat down on the coffee table and watched her closely. She coughed again, it sounded terrible. He inhaled deeply, before reaching beside him towards the glass of water he had prepared. He then stood up and sat down on the edge of the couch, while she was watching him out of tired, glassy eyes. He held the water in front of her. "Drink. You need lots of water."

She tried to sit up, screwing up her face in pain. He held the glass closer. She managed to lift her head a bit to place her lips on the rim of the glass. She drank hectically, as if she was nearly dehydrated, with water running down the corners of her mouth. Kakashi lowered the now empty glass and raised a hand to wipe the water off her chin. She blinked at his touch, her eyes trying to focus on him.

"What… what happened to me?" she then asked with a very hoarse voice.

He put the glass back on the table and tilted his head towards her. "You're having a fever. You've been sleeping for three days."

"Three… days?" She looked even more pained, hearing this information. "But… why…"

"You can't remember?" he asked gently, while placing one hand on her forehead. It felt blazing hot.

She inhaled sharply, closing her eyes for a moment. "Not… exactly… I just…" She broke off, coughing slightly. "I just remember that it was something… something… bad…" She said the last word barely audible, her eyes shifting to the side, seemingly blinking away tears.

Kakashi leaned back a bit and watched her. She remembered, yet she chose to push it away once again. He could only imagine what was going on inside her mind. Maybe it was for the better to ignore what had happened. She had had enough trouble in her past. For now, it was most important for her to get better soon.

"Don't worry about that now," he said, while reaching out to close his fingers around her hand. "You need to rest and get better. That's all that matters now."

Her green eyes looked up at him, almost deliriously. The corners of her mouth twisted up only slightly. That was a good sign. Kakashi smiled back at her and squeezed her hand gently.

"Do you need another glass of water?"

She nodded tiredly. "Please…"

"Coming right up," he said, stood up and left for the kitchen.

When he returned to her with the glass filled up again, sitting down on the edge of the couch once more, she had her eyes closed, breathing deeply. He watched her for a minute, before deciding to put the glass on the table.

Just as he was about to get up again, she said, very quietly: "I'm a really rude guest, aren't I? Now I'm not even hogging your couch, I'm also lying around uselessly… making you look after me… I really don't want to be a burden…"

"You're not a burden," he whispered back, watching her exhale deeply. "I don't mind looking after you." No, he really didn't. That was for sure. He surely had had worst missions to take care of.

"But…" She stopped when he put his hand on her cheek, gently caressing her chin with his thumb.

"No but, please just accept that I'm here to help you, okay?"

Her lips parted slightly, before a whispered "Okay" escaped them. Kakashi watched her for a moment, until she lazily opened one eye. "Thank you," she then said, unconsciously leaning against his hand. He smiled, before deciding to show her yet another gesture of comfort by leaning over her, placing his masked lips on her forehead. "Don't ever mention it again," he replied softly. He could feel her body stiffening slightly, so he pulled away and got up from the couch.

Her eyes were looking up at him in surprise, with her mouth slightly open. He hoped she wouldn't read too much into it. Reminding himself that her being here was just temporary until she would either leave (and be assigned a different shinobi who would look after her, secretly) or until the Elders had decided what to do with her, he nodded slightly and turned away towards his bedroom.

"I'll be in my room, doing some paperwork. Call me if you need anything, okay?" he said without looking back.

"Okay," he heard her reply in a soft voice.

A mission. Yes, this was only a mission. Don't get too involved… That was surely easier said than done, but he wasn't the type who wouldn't try his best.

A/N:

Disclaimer:

Naruto-verse and its inhabitants are property of Kishimoto Masashi. Katsumi (and all of her backstory) belongs to me.

Next: Katsumi's fever will make stuff happen. Stuff, I tell you, stuff that we are here for, if you know what I mean.

Thank you for your time!