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Chapter 8
fortune favors
Our moral responsibility is not to stop the future,
but to shape it. To channel our destiny
in humane directions and to ease the trauma of transition.
—Alvin Toffler
Despite their limited technology and budget, the socialites of 1864 Mystic Falls had managed to put together a lovely party. The September air was cool but the candles that burned within the dancehall, and the bodies that filled it, kept the main room pleasantly warm.
Bonnie had danced a single dance with George Lockwood before he'd left her at an empty table ostensibly to get her a glass of punch. At first, Bonnie had been grateful. She was very thirsty, plus she wasn't used to dancing in a corset and needed the break. Breathing required much more focus than she would have thought. But it had been nearly half an hour, her date was still gone, and her table was no longer empty. Bonnie was not feeling grateful anymore.
"—none of them even like each other anyway, they're all pretending—" Bonnie zoned out again. Damon still hadn't asked for her input in the conversation he was carrying on by himself.
When Damon had sat down, she thought he might annoy her, ask her for a dance, or even tease her about her date's abandonment. He had been determinately light-hearted since their ice cream not-date, even in the carriage on the way to the party. But his good mood was gone, and instead of any of those expected actions, he brooded at her. Well, he brooded at Katherine and Stefan, who hadn't left each other's arms or the dancefloor since the music started, while sitting next to her. But he did it loudly, complaining to her about everything and everyone in the vicinity without taking his eyes off the pair.
Bonnie was viscerally reminded of the many times she sat with Matt last year in the Grill, or at a bonfire, or a dance, listening to him nurse his wounds over Elena. She'd tried to comfort Matt, because he was hurt and her friend, but she didn't want to do the same for Damon.
Bonnie didn't know if her refusal to be sympathetic was because she knew how this ended, or if she was just tired of being the girl who sat at the edge of the dancefloor and comforted her friend's spurned lovers. She knew that she wasn't going to sit and listen to him or try to soothe his heartbreak. Something burned in her stomach, angry at Katherine, at Damon, at George, and at Stefan. But mostly angry at herself for travelling more than a hundred years through time and still falling into the same role.
"Damon, can you shut up? I don't care if you don't like the food, or the people, or that they cut you off after two drinks. I don't even care about the real reason you're in such a bad mood. Katherine chose to come here with Stefan, and she's choosing to dance with him. You can't force her to change her mind, so if you just accept it, you'll save yourself a lot of pain, and save me from the headache I'm getting from listening to you complain."
"Here I thought we could commiserate together. I saw you and thought, gee Bonnie doesn't look like she's having a good time sitting by herself, why don't I go and keep her company? But if this is the thanks I get for my rescue, I—"
"Not much of a rescue if all you do is complain. Not exactly the way to show a lady a good time, is it?"
"Maybe I'm not inclined to show a lady who rejected me a good time? This all would have been different if we'd gone to this shindig together you know?" He gestured with his glass, now only filled with water, between the two of them.
"I'm pretty sure it would have gone exactly like this. You, moping about Katherine choosing your brother, and me, forced to listen. At least now I can leave you alone or hold out hope that George will come rescue me with another dance."
"Pff. You don't want to dance with him. He's a tool."
"Doesn't change my point."
"I'm just bringing a new point into the conversation. George Lockwood is a tool."
Bonnie rolled her eyes, but Damon continued.
"But since you're so hot to stay on topic, I do think this night would have been different if we'd come as a pair. For one, I would have been entitled to your drink vouchers, so I would be doubly lubricated," Bonnie laughed in disbelief. Damon's face became serious, and he stared at her head on. "And secondly, I would never have left you alone at this table, vulnerable to any man who decided to come over and try his hand at seducing you."
"Is that what this is, a seduction? I thought that was my job."
"No Bonnie, if I were trying to seduce you, you would definitely know it. And remember, in this scenario you aren't alone at the table."
"Where am I? Fetching you another drink with one of my drink vouchers?"
"Mmm maybe, but I think we'd be on the dance floor, showing these small towners how it's done."
"And how would you dance? You'd be tripping over your feet while staring at your brothers date."
"Ah-ah-ah Bonnie dear. If you have to look at your feet while you dance, you're not very good. And I am very good. But don't worry, I promise to make up for all of your deficiencies. No one will even notice you stepping on my toes."
"I notice you didn't deny you would be staring at Katherine."
"Bonnie, I promise, if you dance with me, I will only be looking at you." He smiled close-lipped but earnestly, before standing and extending his hand towards her. It stayed there, hanging in the air as Bonnie stared at it. She'd been prepared for a hypothetical, not an actual offer. She met his gaze, before quickly dropping her eyes to his hand again.
"Please, Miss McCullough, will you do me the sincere honor of taking a turn on the dance floor with me?" His mocking and overly formal language broke her from her trance. He wasn't being serious, and Bonnie soothed her unsettled nerves.
"It would be my pleasure, Mr. Salvatore." She slipped her hand into his, and stood, allowing him to lead her to the edge of the dance floor just as the last notes of the song died.
The dances had gotten simpler as the night went on, with less partner switching and line reels. Bonnie breathed a sigh of relief when the first strains of a waltz rang out. She'd muddled her way through that first complicated reel with George, but more than one man had ended up with squashed toes as she forgot which way the circle turned.
Her relief was stolen from her when she realized that this meant having to waltz with Damon Salvatore. She placed her hand in his above their shoulders, and the other at his shoulder blade. True to his word, his eyes never left her. His palm felt like a hot coal, burning through her dress at the small of her back. They'd only ever stood this close when they were at odds with each other in the future. The heat was still there, as it always was, but it didn't stem from anger, fear, or desperation. Bonnie swallowed; her throat felt dry.
Determined to break the sudden tension she felt, Bonnie smiled up at him.
"Well, Mr. Salvatore. We must talk while we dance. It's a rule."
"And what should we talk about? Books? Perhaps Austen?"
"Books? No, I'm sure we haven't read the same ones." She laughed, tripped once over her own right foot, but was smoothly corrected by Damon. Bonnie doubted any onlooker would even have noticed. "Tell me something about you. Something I don't know."
"I've left the army, the Confederacy. I told father and Stefan already. They've…accepted my decision. But I wanted to tell you personally, because of the conversation we had about it. And about the future."
"You can just leave? Is that allowed?"
"Nope!" Damon grinned. "I'm officially a deserter. But they've got some bigger things to worry about right now, with Sherman burning his way through the South and Lee being routed at every turn. They won't come after little old me for a long time yet. Hopefully, they'll have lost disastrously before that time comes, but don't let anyone in this room hear me say that. They'll take away the one drink voucher I have left."
Bonnie smiled widely up at him. And Damon didn't hesitate in responding with his own. The weight of the night had dissipated, at least momentarily. Damon twisted one arm, sending Bonnie into a twirl, before pulling her back in, closer than before.
"Are you proud of me, Bonnie?" His eyes sparkled, and sarcasm was laid thickly over his words, but Bonnie could tell that this was not the shallow question he wanted to play it off as.
"Yes, Damon, I really am. I'm proud of you, and happy for you. You made the decision that you thought was right, for yourself and your own morals."
"My own sanity more like it. But as long as you're here to steer me right, I'm sure I can maintain this good guy façade for a long time."
Bonnie's smile lessened slightly but didn't dissipate completely.
"And what about when I'm gone?" She asked.
"Well I can't very well keep it up without my captive and appreciative audience, now can I? And it's not like Katherine would appreciate the upstanding man you're trying to mold me into. She enjoys my darker impulses." He finished with a wink and a smirk, channeling his eternal stud persona straight from the twenty-first century.
"I'm not trying to mold you into anyone, Damon. You should live for yourself, and make the choices that you can be proud of. Every day we choose who we are going to be. Every day. And you can choose to be who you think Katherine wants, or to be who you think I want to be friends with, or who would most impress El-any one else you might meet. But the only person who will always have to face the consequences, who will have to live with you and what you've done, is you."
Bonnie bit her lip, unsure if she could continue. Damon looked contemplative, but didn't speak.
"Damon, I'm happy to be an appreciative audience to your good choices while we're together, and I won't be afraid to call you out for things I think are wrong. But you can't use someone else as your moral compass. And you don't need to. You wanted to leave the Confederate army long before you did, it really had nothing to do with me. You can be a good man. You just have to choose it."
"And if I don't choose it?" Damon asked quietly. They continued to spin in circles around the floor.
Bonnie thought about Stefan and Elena's devotion to Damon. Bonnie had always thought it was absurd. He was a murderer and an asshole, and he was transparently trying to undermine their relationship. But they had begged her to save his life. Elena had claimed they were friends, that there was more to him than the face he showed the world.
She thought about Stefan, happily helping make dinner, playing chess with her, and handing over a grimoire he'd found in the Salvatore Boarding House. She thought about Vicki, so troubled as a human, and no different as a vampire. Anna who really cared about Jeremy, and Pearl who would turn away from revenge just so her daughter would smile.
Bonnie thought of Caroline, weak and broken because of Bonnie, a human witch's actions. Bonnie and Elena had access to the tremendous healing properties of vampire blood, but Bonnie hadn't trusted them, she'd trusted magic and her own inexperience to fix the problem. She'd been blind.
All vampires were once human, and they weren't humans anymore, but they were still people. They couldn't control what they were, but they could decide not to be monsters. And Bonnie could choose not to treat them like they already were.
"I'll stand against you if you try to hurt innocent people or harm the people I love. But I'd prefer it if we weren't enemies."
Damon looked concerned.
"I didn't know we were in danger of becoming enemies, Bonnie, and I have no plans to hurt Katherine or Emily."
"The life of a vampire is a long one Damon, and since you're determined to become one, I thought I would let you know where I stand. And I have more friends than just the ones we share."
"And you think I'll meet them?" Bonnie snorted.
"Pretty sure, yeah." Damon smiled widely at her derision.
"That means you plan on us being friends, and you introducing me to yours, in the future. I can't wait to be turned and leave this small town behind. Tell me about your friends—are they all in Boston?"
"You'll manage to push your way into their lives without any introduction from me. Wait, Boston?"
"That's where you're from, right? I think Katherine will turn me soon. I've been trying to wear her down. I don't think she'll hold out another month. And then we'll get you home, like I offered." His question brought her up short. Damon thought she was just a human who knew about vampires who came from Boston to visit Katherine. When he said future, he meant a few months from now, not decades. Bonnie had forgotten her backstory. It had felt like he knew everything.
"Yeah Boston you're right. Damon can you promise me something?"
"Depends, what is it?"
Emily had hinted that she had an idea on how to send her back, and Bonnie figured they would try it out shortly, even if it meant hijacking the comet's power. She didn't want to face Stefan as he first descended into bloodlust, and she didn't know what she would say to Damon. Could she tell him the truth about Katherine? Would he believe her? And why had Katherine abandoned them in the first place? She'd shown no sign of tiring of them, and they weren't just blood sources to her.
Bonnie didn't know what kind of future she would be thrust back into, didn't know what her presence had changed, but she was looking forward to having indoor plumbing and air conditioning again.
"After you turn, we won't see each other for a while," Bonnie paused, unsure how she should phrase this. She had tried to travel to the past to make sure that she would remain ignorant about her powers, and about vampires. But she knew she didn't want that anymore. Her lessons with Emily had opened a new world to her, and her magic felt alive in a way she hadn't been able to feel in 2010. And was not knowing about vampires the key to happiness? Or would she just be in more danger?
"And when we do see each other again, I probably won't know you. It's a thing. But you're going to want something from me, and I won't want to give it to you. But I should. I know this doesn't make sense, but I need you to remember this. Be nice, convince me, don't just try to snatch it from my neck, okay?"
If she'd given Damon the crystal, the tomb would have been opened easily, the night of the comet. With Grams help, they could have reset the seal, trapping all of the vampires inside once Damon realized Katherine wasn't there. With the power of the comet, and the rules of Emily's original spell, it wouldn't drain as much from her or Grams. Damon just had to be charming.
"I know you can be convincing, so try that. Don't be creepy. And don't mess with my friends." That seemed like it should cover it. Bonnie didn't think it would be hard for Damon to convince her in the future. When he wasn't lurking or lusting after Elena, she'd thought he was hot and friendly. She remembered dinner at Elena's, and the stories he'd told in between heavy-handed hints about Katherine. He'd been captivating. His descriptions of Rome had made her ache to see the streets, to taste the pasta, to wander the cathedrals and catacombs herself.
She'd been jealous of Caroline, more so than she was of Elena, that night. Damon had none of the spooky-feeling attached to him, she hadn't touched him yet, and his smirks appealed to her more than Stefan's furrowed brows.
Of course, she soon learned that what Caroline and Damon had was nothing to be jealous over.
"I'm not sure I underst—" Bonnie shushed him.
"Just remember it. You'll understand when it happens. I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Right," Damon drew out the word. "Good thing this song is ending then. We can finish up the dance with a conversation about how your date has finally appeared, and he's with Katherine." Bonnie's head snapped around. Sure enough, the pair was just coming through the door. What would Katherine want with George Lockwood?
The unlikely couple met Bonnie and Damon at the edge of the dancefloor. Damon tightened his hand over hers, trying to keep it in the crook of his elbow, but Bonnie slipped out of his grip.
"Thank you for keeping Damon occupied for me Bonnie, I was just coming to collect my dance with him. I'm sure your own date would be delighted to have your hand for the next one." Katherine grabbed Damon's elbow, and pulled him away. He turned back, giving her a toast with an invisible glass and a smile.
"To making our own destinies." Bonnie suppressed a grimace at Damon's farewell.
George stayed, standing across from her. He looked nervous, as if he had just received very bad news. Courtesy won out, and he held out his hand for her to take.
"Shall we?" Bonnie nodded wordlessly, taking his outstretched hand and joining the lines of dancers on the floor.
Author's Note: A link to Bonnie's dress the chapter can be found in my bio.
Also please let me know what you think! I'd love to hear from you, even (actually especially) if you're just letting me know about a typo.