.

Chapter 9

all that glitters

There is no terror after the bang of the gun;
only the anticipation in it.
—Alfred Hitchcock

Bonnie sat on a bench in the garden, her shawl wrapped tightly around her to ward off the wet chill of the darkness. She should be exhausted from the long night of dancing, and the stress of pretending to know what fork she was supposed to use, but she felt wide awake.

So instead of sleeping, she sat outside, listening to the crickets and the wind rustling through the carefully cultivated hedges. She would look an odd sight to most of Mystic Falls. A young girl, out alone at night. No one in 1864 travelled alone at night. Even their carriage home from the ball had merited an armed escort. But Bonnie was not defenseless, and any vampire who thought her easy prey would be quickly and painfully corrected.

Bonnie hummed to herself. First, a song that wouldn't be written for a century, but it gradually morphed into one of the tunes she'd danced to tonight. She'd had a good time, a great time. And it had certainly been more enjoyable than any of the Founder's celebrations she'd attended as a high schooler in the future. She'd always felt awkward, an outsider, and an unthought of one. It felt wrong to put on an old antebellum dress and celebrate a time when her ancestors probably dressed in rags. Recently Bonnie had avoided the parties altogether, whether a costume was required or not, and dodged Elena and Caroline's questions about it. They didn't understand, and they didn't really try to. The Founder's Celebration was 150 years old; it wasn't something to question, just like the statue of Robert E. Lee in the town square.

She never thought she'd be so comfortable in one of these gowns. But after living in them for weeks she mostly knew how to breathe, and how to move, in a hoop and corset. Each day, she forgot how restricted she was until her lungs expanded fully with the first deep breath after unlacing before bed. You can get used to anything.

"Miss McCullough?" Bonnie started. She'd been so lost in her head that she hadn't noticed the approach of another person. With no streetlights or passing cars, the night was pitch black. The moon and stars, while more visible than in 2010, still didn't cast enough light for Bonnie to make out the other's features. Still, she knew him.

"Mr. Salvatore. What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask the same of you. But, I think you can call me by my given name. We have shared a home for more than a fortnight."

"Well I'm obviously out here composing my dispatches to Washington. And you, Stefan?" He had the grace to look embarrassed over her reference to his early accusations. He'd never brought it up again, but he'd remained more distant than Katherine or his brother. Still, Bonnie remembered him saving her life in the future, and the friendship he had extended towards her despite her judgement, so her tone was joking and not condemning.

"Just thinking. I thought a walk might help me sort out my thoughts." Bonnie nodded in understanding. She was outside for much the same reasons.

"Feel free to join me if you'd like. There's plenty of room." She patted the space on the bench next to her, and Stefan took her invitation, tactfully ignored that this room was available because she wasn't dressed in layers of silk over a hoop, but only a thin nightdress and knit shawl.

They sat quietly beside each other for a few seconds before Stefan broke the silence.

"They're together right now, did you know? Damon and Katherine, I mean." Bonnie had watched Stefan kiss Katherine chastely at the foot of the stairs. It was sugary sweet, full of devotion, and everything a girl could have hoped for in an innocent teenage romance. And it was what Katherine wanted, it just wasn't all she wanted. And for everything else, it seemed she could have Damon.

"Yeah, I know." Her easy acceptance didn't shock him.

"I thought you probably knew. You probably knew before I did. You are her friend after all. But then, with how you look at Damon sometimes, I thought I should tell you. I wouldn't want anyone unknowingly getting involved in this. It's easy to get hurt."

Bonnie's first instinct was to deny his assumption. What could he be seeing in how she looked at Damon? But maybe the easy banter they fell into could be misconstrued, or his faux flirting taken at face value. Or maybe Stefan had seen the desperate trust on her face as she begged his brother to change the future during their dance, when he didn't even know the future that would be changed. But none of those feelings were ones like Stefan was suggesting.

"It's not like that. I'm not going to get hurt." She assured him.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. This is not a fight I would ever enter Stefan, even if I wanted to, because I know it isn't one I have a chance at winning."

Bonnie had taken one look at the spark in Elena's eyes the first time she saw Stefan, and had let go of any desire to see the face that went with his hot back. Here, she'd arrived after Katherine had already sunk her teeth, figuratively and literally, deep into both brothers. She'd told Caroline it wasn't a competition, and she wasn't lying. But it wasn't a competition because Bonnie never let it become one.

"Do you think I have a chance? At winning?" Stefan interrupted her internal musing.

"Is that what you want? To win?"

"Sometimes I think I shouldn't. That what she is should make a difference to me, or the lives she takes. That her taking my brother into her bed means that she doesn't love me, and I should let her go. But the greater part of me still loves her, knows that my feelings remain unchanged from before she was a vampire. And truthfully, competing with Damon encourages, more than it detracts from, the appeal. To win means to be with the woman I love, for eternity, and to be declared the better brother. It's a hard prize to resist."

Bonnie didn't know how much of his words were driven by love, and how much by compulsion. It was hard to tell, had Katherine ordered him to love her? Or only not to fear her?

"Have you and Damon always been competitive?"

"Our father encouraged it. Despite the age difference, he found things we were comparable at and drove us to be better. But…" He trailed off. Bonnie let the silence linger for a full minute before prompting him from his thoughts.

"But?"

"But he's been having a harder time setting up the competition. Even before he told Damon that he would never see a cent after his death, the fight had gone out of Damon. He'd given up, started fighting my battles with me instead of standing in opposition. That's when my father called for Alessandro."

"Alessandro?" Bonnie was imagining a particularly harsh tutor, before she remembered Stefan's far-away look when she asked him for the bloodstone. He'd seemed fond of his younger brother, so despite Rachel Fell's gossip she didn't expect his contemptuous tone.

"Our younger brother. Our father's final insult to our mother. If neither of us live up to his expectations, his bastard will inherit everything. Ha! As if that will happen. The boy isn't even going to make it to the end of the year, let alone out live our father."

He caught her questioning look.

"Alessandro's sick. That's why his rooms are in the other end of the house. Father is terrified of catching it. Too sick to even get out of bed now, which makes him another failure of father's at driving Damon and I to be better. I think that's why he first let Katherine stay with us; something to fight over. He's not usually the type to take pity on war orphans."

Bonnie thought of Giuseppe Salvatore, so charming and sharp at sudden turns. Was he the catalyst for this century-long love triangle?

"What if Katherine didn't want either of you? What if she chose someone else? Or decided she's done with romance for this decade?" Stefan searched her face, looking to see if she was posing more than a simple hypothetical.

"Katherine loves me. She might love Damon as well, or maybe his blood just tastes better, I don't know. But I don't think there is a future where she doesn't choose me. I can't think that."

"What if she didn't have the choice?" She asked and Stefan's tone became strident.

"Nothing is going to happen to her. I'll protect her from the council. We'll leave. They won't care once we leave Mystic Falls." Bonnie knew that Stefan couldn't protect Katherine from the council, that he wouldn't make it out of Mystic Falls alive, but she said nothing. How did you let your barely friendly housemate know that his cheating girlfriend would abandon him without a word? You couldn't. So Bonnie offered what she always did.

"Just let me know if you need any help."

"You can do it; I know you can." Ruthie concentrated on the flame Bonnie had cupped in her hand, but it barely flickered. She'd been trying to make it flare for the past half hour but hadn't been able to affect it at all. Holding it steady was starting to tire Bonnie. Sparking the fire had barely taken a thought but keeping it lit, with only her own magic as fuel, took real effort. Emily had claimed it would strengthen her focus and help Ruthie so Bonnie kept it up as the younger witch struggled to gain control over it.

The six-year-old screwed up her face in concentration. Bonnie was tempted to push for a flare herself, just so the little girl would breath again, but she knew Ruthie wouldn't be fooled. Suddenly, the young Bennett's held breath escaped her in a whoosh.

"I'll never get it! It's impossible!" Ruthie said crossing her arms in frustration. Bonnie tried not to laugh at how cute she looked; it would only make her more upset.

"Well why don't we figure out why it's impossible. What's your affinity? When your mom pointed out mine it completely changed my limitations and expectations. Is yours water? Maybe it's an opposite thing?"

Bonnie didn't think she was qualified to be mentoring or teaching Emily's daughter a thing, despite having more than a decade on Ruthie.

When they were alone the Bennetts used magic as easily as breathing. Ingredients floated around the kitchen as Emily cooked, and Sebastian could tell you the exact number of times a book contained any word, and on which pages. Ruthie, despite her young age, was no different. She loved to make flower petals dance around her, much like Bonnie had with feathers when she first discovered magic. But when Ruthie turned her puppy eyes on Bonnie, and Emily backed her daughter's request, she couldn't say no. Now Bonnie just had to pretend she knew what she was doing.

"No, not water. I'm not like you and Mama." Not an elemental affinity then. Bonnie didn't have any other ideas from her rudimentary magic lessons. Her magic felt stronger, but that had more to do with knowing her affinity and her raised confidence levels. Maybe Ruthie's issue was something psychological?

"Why do you want to control flames at all? Your mom said you're very advanced for your age. I'm the one who needs to catch up to you; no need for you to focus on the only area of magic where I have you beat." Ruthie giggled at Bonnie's teasing, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. Bonnie had improved by leaps and bounds since she'd arrived in the past, but Ruthie seemed to know everything Bonnie was taught, and had easily explained things that Emily struggled to articulate. If the girl wasn't so cute it would have been creepy.

"The ladies said it's important to know. None of them were like you." A chill crept up Bonnie's spine.

"What? Who are the ladies? Who have you been talking to Ruth?" Bonnie questioned. Ruthie shifted awkwardly.

"I'm not supposed to tell anybody, but they said it would stop the nightmares." Bonnie did not like the sound of random women dispensing advice to her ancestor. The flame hovering over Bonnie's palm stuttered and then went out. She had to focus on Ruthie, not the magic.

"You can tell me, Ruthie. I just want to help you, okay? Who told you that you needed to master fire magic?"

"The nice ladies from the house. Mama said I should only ask for their help if things are going very very wrong. And I don't! I swear! They just talk to me. They help me with stuff." Bonnie very carefully did not ask what stuff the girl had gotten help with, or what situation, exactly, Emily deemed very very wrong.

"What house?"

"The old one in the woods. They're trapped there, but I'm gonna free them when I grow up! I promised!"

"Who are they, Ruthie? How are they talking to you if they're trapped?" Were they witches? Or vampires, locked in a house by some kind of reverse invitation barrier?

"With my 'finity!"

"Your affinity?"

"That's what I said! My 'finity!" Ruthie said adamantly.

"I'm sorry, Ruthie. You know I'm very new at this, but I'd love to know more. Why don't you tell me what your affinity is? And what does it have to do with the…ladies?"

"Spirits, that's my 'finity. I can sense them really well and can talk to them lots of times. They like to help me. Especially the ladies from the house, because they're like us."

"They were witches?"

"Yes, but family, like us. That's how I knew you were mine." Ruthie smiled and Bonnie returned it, somewhat relieved. She didn't have the best experience with Bennett ghosts herself, but it was certainly better than a pack of vampires.

"You could sense they were Bennetts? And I feel…similar?"

"They're all Bennetts, but some are family. Like my mama's mama's grandma. Sisters are there too, but I was talking about our family."

"Our direct line?" Bonnie clarified.

"Yes, and you feel like that. That's how I know Sebastian's wrong. You're mine. Bonnie Bennett, the daughter of my daughters."

Bonnie shivered. The words were full of innocence but rang with power. The daughter of my daughters. Bonnie had never really wondered why she didn't have her father's last name, despite her parents' marriage, but she could see that it extended much farther back then just a decision between Rudy and Abby. A dynasty of Bennett women was not about to be unnamed because of some patriarchal tradition.

"Okay, family. Good to know. But what does this have to do with fire Ruth? And what about your nightmares?"

"They all died there. Their friends burned them for being magic. They tried to stop the nightmares; they don't want me to see, but I can't help it when I'm asleep. They're scared and leaky." If Ruthie was strongly connected to the spirits, it made sense that some unintentional transference was happening. But no six-year-old should be having nightmares about being burned at the stake for witchcraft.

"So you want to control fire so you're not so scared?" Bonnie asked. Ruthie nodded.

"If they'd been fire witches, they wouldn't have burned." She answered matter-of-factly.

"What did your mom say about all of this?"

"She's not good with fire. She doesn't even use magic to put out the stove. That's why I wanted you to teach me."

Okay, Bonnie could do this. Just conquer the fears of one six-year-old and a who-knows-how-many dead witches who were burned at the stake and trapped on the mortal plane. Fire came naturally to Bonnie, but she tried to remember those early feelings when she struggled to light candles on purpose, and the blaze of energy she felt when she'd set that car on fire.

"I'm going to hold the flame again, and I don't want to you to do anything, okay Ruthie? No making it flare or go out. I just want you to feel it." In one hand Bonnie conjured a flame, and she held out the other for Ruthie to take.

"Focus on me, and our shared connection with the spirits. You said that's your strength, but don't let them overwhelm you, don't let their fears influence yours. They are knowledge and strength and family, but they are not you or your emotions. The only one here is us, and I have complete control over the flames." Bonnie let the flame flare in her palm, pulsing with her heartbeat. "Feel me and my magic, can you do that?"

The two Bennett sat and breathed with each other. The flame stayed synchronized with Bonnie's heart, even as she began to sense a heaviness in the air. Ruthie looked up from the fire and smiled at the empty space around them. Bonnie swallowed.

"Are they here?" Bonnie whispered.

"Not everyone; just Nina and Alys." Ruthie brightly replied. Bonnie suppressed a shiver. Two hovering witch ghosts was certainly enough for her.

"Say hello from me, I guess." How exactly did one address two invisible ancient ancestors?

"They can hear you silly!" Ruthie giggled.

"Oh. Okay. Hello then."

"They say hi."

Bonnie closed her eyes, re-centering herself. She just had to ignore the ghosts and move on with the lesson.

"Now Ruthie, I want you to lay your other hand over mine."

"But the fire!"

"I know, but I won't let it hurt you." The girl tentatively reached out, and lay her hand, facing up, over Bonnie's. Their arms a closed circuit, keeping the fire alive. The flame danced over their overlapping hands.

"Feel it. It's my magic. You can feed it a little, just like you felt me doing, if you want to." Ruthie nudged a small spark of magic in, barely a breath. When it didn't explode in their faces she breathed a sigh of relief.

"You can add a little more, we can share it." The child did, and the flame grew a little larger. Bonnie let her get comfortable with the flame for a few minutes before speaking again.

"How do you feel?" Bonnie asked softly.

"Good, I like it. It's…nice."

"Now I'm going to stop feeding magic to it. You have to keep it going. Are you ready?"

She answered with a determined head nod.

"Okay. It's all yours now." Bonnie's magic ebbed away, and while the flame flickered and dimmed it didn't die.

"Good job! Now Ruthie, put it out."

"What? But I just got it! I don't want to kill it."

"It's just fire." Bonnie assured her. "It breathes and moves, but it's not alive. Now put it out."

Ruthie looked upset, but she snuffed the flame out with a clenched fist. Bonnie smiled at her success.

"Now you know how it feels. You can control fire now, and put it out, you just have to practice."

"But that wasn't real fire! It was just magic."

"You took felt the shift of control from me to you, you can do that with any fuel source. You just have to stop the energy."

"I don't know…"

"Hey, I'm three times your age and I'm still learning. You have time Ruthie, just practice when you can. Me and your mom will put out the fires until you're ready."

"Thanks Bonnie!" The girl grinned, and Bonnie pulled her into a tight hug. Ruthie might be her great-great-whatever grandmother, but Bonnie couldn't help seeing her as something close to a little sister.

Ruthie snuggled closer, exhausted from her efforts and eventual success. Bonnie shifted her into her lap, letting her young ancestor play with the ends of her hair and just relax. Over Ruthie's hair, Bonnie spotted two dark heads coming towards the house. The mid-morning sun was still bright above them, but they'd been gone for hours. Katherine and Damon had left for a walk early in the morning, long before Bonnie, or Stefan, woke. One would think the two would have been exhausted compared to Bonnie and Stefan, late night talks couldn't be nearly as tiring as their activities no matter the topic, but apparently not.

The elegant-looking pair stopped at the foot of the stairs leading up to the back porch. Bonnie could see the twirl of Katherine's parasol and the incline of their bodies as they leaned in close to speak. The vampire must have felt her gaze because Katherine's arm lifted in a vigorous wave.

"Bonnie!" The witch could make out her name on the wind, but she didn't move. Ruthie hadn't shifted at all. Damon turned to face her and waved as well. Katherine's mouth continued moving, but Bonnie didn't hear anything further. Were they calling her over? Did they want her to join them? Or were they just acknowledging her own previous laser focus?

Bonnie slowly raised her own hand to let them know she heard them. It was barely a wave, but it seemed to do the trick. Katherine stopped her bombastic gesturing and closed her parasol. After giving Damon a kiss on the cheek, and sending one last wave towards Bonnie, she went inside.

Bonnie knew from the weeks she had lived in the Salvatore Manor that Katherine would be seeking out Stefan. She split her time between them, usually more than slightly in Stefan's favor, so a morning spent with Damon meant a long afternoon and evening being entertained by Stefan.

Damon stood, one foot on the bottom step, staring up at the door Katherine had just disappeared through. Bonnie couldn't make out his expression from her vantage point. Was it lovelorn, or jealous? Or maybe he was happy just to have spent the time he had with Katherine?

Bonnie caught the glint of the buttons on Damon's coat as he shifted. He had turned to face her and Ruthie, and Bonnie turned away. She didn't want to be caught staring again. Her conversation with Stefan had reminded her of their old friendship, and the group dynamic she had left behind in the future.

Damon had been heartbroken by Katherine's absence from the tomb, but Elena and her open friendship had helped him remember his humanity again. He was patching up his relationship with Stefan, worming his way on to the council, and subsisting on filched blood bags instead of compelled victims. Bonnie and their silly banter didn't really fit into that redemption narrative. She wasn't necessary, and she was worried this whole trip would be actively detrimental. What if she finally managed to get back home and found Katherine and Damon ruling over its ashes?

It would be best if it was all forgotten. She had to get back soon after all; she couldn't stay in the past forever. What was she going to do when they all left? Would Katherine let her hitch a ride on her escape wagon? Would Emily let her pretend to be her sister or cousin as they found a new town to settle in?

Damon still stood on the steps. Was he looking at them, or just lost in thought? Before Bonnie could decide if another wave was necessary, he turned away, heading towards the stables and into the house. A thought slithered from the back of Bonnie's mind. Could she go with him, after his transition? Would he want her to, even after he found out that there was nothing waiting in Boston?

Bonnie knew that the council must be planning to strike soon, but the brothers had never disclosed an exact timeline in the future, at least not one Elena had ever shared with her. How much time did she have to plan?

"Ruthie," Bonnie said, giving the little girl a small shake to rouse her, "When did your mom say that comet is coming?" Ruthie yawned and Bonnie mentally prepared herself to carry her back to Emily's rooms.

"Tonight." She mumbled, before settling back to Bonnie's chest.

Tonight.

Oh.