In The Mind's Eye II, The Sequel
Disclaimer: This is an AU story that combines The Godfather and Greys Anatomy together. I borrowed these characters, I own nothing.
Chapter Five
17 Seconds
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Arizona heard her mother-in-law praying the twenty-third Psalm in the hospital chapel. Carmela was a devout Catholic who prayed everyday for the souls of her children, just as she had her late husband. The older woman was respected by many in regards to her faith. There was a shadow of death looming over their family, and the older woman sought God for it to be removed.
Have you ever wondered what it is like in the "shadow of death?" It doesn't sound like a fun place to be. The shadow of death implies a situation where death looms over you. However, it might not result in actual death. It could be a situation of grave danger, such as a war zone, car crash, or some other accident that causes the shadow to appear. Many unfortunate events could all be considered as the shadow of death, even if you emerge unscathed.
"So that's why Callie wasn't there," Arizona spoke aloud as he mother in law walked from the front of the chapel in her direction. Fearing that the worst had happened, Arizona asked, "How serious is it?"
That was the question Arizona had asked her mother in law on the phone minutes before. And, she had yet to receive an answer.
Flashback
Arizona put the cell phone to her ear. She didn't want to alarm her children who were listening in the backseat. They had refused to turn on the television. Instead, Monty was singing a song that he and Callie always sung together. And Gavin, as usual, he did his best to add in extra parts and mess Monty's song up. Which made everyone laugh. Especially Monty. The only thing missing from this family scene was Callie.
Answering Arizona's question as to the the seriousness of Callie's injuries, Carmela replied, "She's been in an accident. I need you here. I can't make these decisions without you. I don't know anything about medicine Arizona. I need you to come. Where are you?"
"I just left Reno. What hospital are you at?" Arizona asked quietly.
"Renown Regional...something. I don't remember." Carmela replied. She was baffled and overwhelmed by her daughter's accident and condition.
"Renown Regional Medical Center. I know where that is. We will turn around. I will be there in fifteen minutes give or take." The blonde responded.
"She's in surgery. Come to the ER entrance. I will have Rocco wait for you there. I'm in the third floor waiting room."
"Okay," Arizona responded and ended the call.
Not knowing what exactly how to explain this to her children...Arizona kept quiet as she exited off on the ramp. How does one explain situations like this to small children? Arizona was a children's doctor. She had treated more children than anyone. Yet, the complexity of this situation was too hard to fathom. This was her wife, albeit they were not in a good place, but it was still her wife. And she loved Callie. They just didn't see eye to eye on several major things.
Whether you were a doctor or not, that didn't make any difference here. No amount of medical training prepared you for this. Not your wife. Not you children's mother.
Thinking back to the time when she was in an accident and pregnant with Gavin, the memories of that day rushed through Arizona's mind. She woke up bleeding, hurt, scared. And somewhere, she remembered hearing Callie voice. Tears flooded Arizona's eyes as she recalled that voice. It was deeper than her own. Uniquely Callie's and amazingly calming. Callie could and to be honest, would fix any problem Arizona had if there was a way. And right now, Arizona hoped that Callie's condition was not severe.
"Why we turn around mommy dearest?" Monty asked. That was what Callie had nicknamed Arizona when she and the boys would pick at Arizona and tease her about something. When they were on opposite sides and joking around, they would call the blonde mother, mommy dearest. Because she was their mommy dearest, Callie had said. And honesty, right now, at this moment, Arizona didn't feel very worthy of that title.
"Well, we have to go to the hospital. That's why?" Knowing this would likely open a can of worms, Arizona still continued. After all, it was better to tell them now rather than when they pulled up.
"Why? Do you have to see about a sick baby?" Monty asked. He knew his mother was a doctor. And, she would often take care of sick children.
Shaking her head, Arizona answered her son, "No."
"Then why?" Monty asked again. "I thought we were going home?" Of course his main goal was to see his mama. And, unfortunately that would not be happening tonight.
"Mama is at the hospital. I do not want you to worry. She will be fine. She will be fine. She just has a few things that the doctors need to check out." And, that was the truth. Well, sort of. She did have quite a few things the doctor needed to check out. But to say that she would indeed be fine...that was on a touch and go basis at this moment. Little did Arizona or Carmela know that Callie had in fact coded on the surgical table twice in the last seventeen seconds. It was serious, and time was ticking away as Arizona could see the lights of the hospital straight ahead.
"Finally." She breathed out.
"Is mama going to die?" Gavin asked. He had a better understanding than his younger brother, however, he was only six years old. And a six year olds grasp on death and dying is still not what it needs to be to fully understand the concept.
"Gavin she is sick. But that is why she is here. To get better. Now were are going to park and go inside to find Nonna." Once Arizona parked, Rocco came into view shortly thereafter. He was glad to see Arizona and the boys. For him, it was all between Arizona and Callie. He liked them both. He was friends with them both. Of course his boss was Callie, but Rocco and Arizona had gotten along very well over the years. Much more so that Al and Arizona had. Rocco wasn't as cocky. He wasn't as hard as Al was. And at this moment, Rocco did what many would seldom see that tall man do.
"I'm glad you're back." Hugging the petite blonde, Rocco latched on tight. He was glad to see her. He knew that Arizona was the glue that kept this whole family together. Although it was not an easy life on her part. And, although Rocco never voiced his concern or opinion, as he would never go against his boss. Rocco did feel that Arizona and the boys were somewhat isolated. However, Callie was fiercely protective of them and who was he to tell his boss what to do. She was the boss. And no one, absolutely no one told Callie Torres anything that she didn't want to hear. If you did, you didn't always live long enough to brag about it.
"It's good to see you Rocco." Arizona smiled as she hugged the tall man.
"And you two, have you gotten taller?" Rocco asked Gavin and Monty as he looked them over as if they really had changed in three days.
"I have." Monty piped up. Gavin was much more subdued. He understood that something was wrong. He was only six years old, but he could tell my the look on his blonde mother's face that whatever was wrong with his mama, was not good.
"Let's get you all inside. Carmela is on the third floor. I think she may be in the chapel."
Once they walked into the elevator that would lead them to the third floor, Gavin asked Rocco, "Is mama okay?"
Looking to Arizona before he answered, he saw that the blonde shook her head. She didn't want anymore said to her son at this time. Not until she had a chance to see exactly what they were dealing with. "Ah...she's tough Gavin. And, they will make her feel better here. Hey, do you guys want to walk with me and get a drink?" Rocco asked.
Yes was the answer to that question. "Turn left and see Al standing down there on the right, that's where the waiting room and the chapel is," Rocco pointed Arizona in the right direction as he took the boys to the lounge for a snack.
Walking up to the outside of the waiting room door, Al stood with his arms folded. The source of his headaches over the last few days now stood in front of him. If she wasn't Callie Torres' wife, the things he could do to her.
In Al's opinion, the blonde needed to be taught a lesson. She made him look like a fool. Leaving him in front of the store. What a bitch she was for that, Al thought to himself as he and Arizona had a stare down match.
"Well, look who it is." Al spoke in a condescending tone.
"Don't start Al. I am in no mood." Arizona retorted as she reached for the door.
Grabbing the blonde's wrists, Al wasn't about to let this go lightly. She deserved a piece of his mind. "You made me look like a fool. This is all your fault." The grasp that he hand on Arizona's right wrist was very tight. Too tight. But at the angle they were standing, it was almost impossible for it to be seen. Remember...almost impossible.
"Let her go," Tom commanded Al as he walked up behind the tall man that had Arizona in a binding grip. Releasing the blonde's hand, the obvious red marks were not dismissed by neither Tom or Arizona. That would certainly leave bruises by morning.
"Your services are no longer needed Mr. Neri. You are fired." Arizona spoke as she held onto her right wrist. Her wrist was painful. But, that didn't deter the blonde. She too had a voice, and she damn well decided it was time to start using it. After all, she was the head of this Family now.
Scoffing at the blonde, "You can't fire me. I work for Callie." Al dismissed the Arizona's words completely.
"Oh I beg to differ, you work for me now. I am in charge. Ask Tom if you don't believe me." Arizona knew how Callie's will was set up. She knew what documents were contained inside the Torres vault. Callie had everything written up and finalized just after Monty was born. Everything; money, stocks and bonds, hotels and casinos, the entire Torres Group was all in Arizona's control if Callie was to become incapacitated or even worse, die. So as far as Arizona was concerned, Mr. Neri was no longer needed as an employee.
Looking over to Tom, Neri saw the shorter man nod in agreement. Many may have thought that Tom would be the next in line to inherit everything. But that was not the case at all. "She's right. Callie left Arizona in charge if something should happen to her. And as the family attorney I support that decision. You are relieved of you responsibilities Al."
Tom had liked Al. They never really had any problems in particular. He knew the trained assassin was good at his job. In the mafia, that's what you want and need, someone that is good at their job. But, what Tom had just witnessed, was not good. Callie would have had Al's days numbered for that little stunt.
Callie had expressed to Tom since Arizona's disappearance, that Al had been slipping when it came to looking after Arizona. The two just did not get along at all. Callie had told Tom, just this morning that she was going to replace Al and keep him with her. She would assign Rocco to Arizona once her wife returned home, as they had always gotten along better.
Nodding at Tom's words, Al Neri left that evening from the Reno hospital. Walking to the elevator, he never looked back. He was no longer an employee with the Torres Family. That was a decision, and the first of several decisions, that Arizona would make in this Family starting today. And it was a decision that Arizona knew in her heart, was a right one.
End of Flashback
Arms stretched wide as Carmela embraced Arizona, "Honey. I am glad to see you." Their embrace was a warm embrace. A heartfelt love for one another. Arizona was like a daughter to Carmela. And to Arizona, Carmela was another mother. The affection was one that any passer by would notice and smile at. After the two women shared a touching moment, Tom entered the chapel.
"What happened?" She looked to Carmela and Tom as the three stood just inside the chapel door. Arizona could see the broken arm Tom carried around in a sling, and the cuts and bruises on the lawyers face. She knew that he was fortunate to have escaped any serious injuries.
Answering Arizona, Tom began to explain how this all happened. "We were on the way to meet you at the arena. And out of no where, this truck came and hit us head on. It was a little more to Callie's side, so the impact was worse on her. I have never heard such moaning from one person Arizona. It was probably seventeen seconds before she passed out. But in those seventeen seconds, the misery she endured was...I can't get the sounds out of my head." Tom teared up as he relived those seventeen seconds of Callie's agonizing misery all over again.
"I was able to get out after several minutes, but Callie's side was practically crushed. She is in surgery and they haven't updated us yet." He finally managed to get out.
Nodding as she listened, Arizona felt that she was to blame, just as Al had suggested. Because the truth was, if she hadn't been away from home, Callie never would have came looking for her. She's the one that suggested meeting at the arena. Closing her eyes, Arizona felt the tears start to come, but she held them back. She had to be strong. This was not the time to cry. Her sons would be back soon and they didn't need to see a weeping mother.
"Nonna!" Gavin and Monty greeted their grandmother as they ran to her chair in the waiting room. The reunion was quite moving.
"My sweet," kissing Gavin first, then Monty, "Sweet Boys, I am so happy to see you." Both little boys took to their grandmother with a proud love. She was practically another mother to them both. She had helped raise both of her grandsons and was a stable fixture in their young lives.
Waiting was the longest part...it lasted for hours on end it seemed. Several nurses would come and give an update to the family, but nothing in detail. Gavin and Monty had continued to ask questions, and they were getting restless as they waited with their family.
"After she's out of surgery, why don't I take the boys home tonight?" Tom suggested. They both knew Tom well. Uncle Tom is how he was referred to, and although the didn't see him as often as say, the bodyguards, he was still a respected figure to the small boys.
"I don't want to leave." Monty cried as he snuggled tighter in Arizona's arms.
"Me either." Gavin whined as he lay his head on Carmela's shoulder. This was all another new experience for the little boys. An experience that no child should ever have to go through. An experience that left them both feeling very vulnerable.
Suddenly the door to the waiting room opened and in walked Dr. Hart. His serious tone bled through as he called, "Callie Torres Family?" The older doctor looked around the room.
"That's us." Arizona answered as she motioned to the doctor.
"I am Dr. Hart, and you are?"
"I am Dr. Arizona Robbins Torres, Callie Torres' wife. This is her mother, Carmela." Arizona introduced herself and her mother in law to the surgeon on the case. And, she motioned for Rocco to take the boys outside.
Once the kids left, the older doctor took a seat. "You wife has sustained some pretty severe injuries. She is lucky to be alive." Remembering that the blonde had said she was a doctor, the Dr. Hart knew that she would understand his terminology better than most.
"She had some internal bleeding. That has been addressed. Her spleen was ruptured, and we had to remove it. Her lung is collapsed. She had a broken femur in her right leg. That has been repaired. Her right arm was broken in two places. That has been casted. Now to the skull fracture...She has a depressed skull fracture. It runs from her right temple to behind her ear. Some parts are deep. Some are surface cracks. As you probably know anything over 5mls deep has to be pulled out and plated. Anything over 5mls will have pieces that invade the brain tissue. Callie's was borderline for surgery. We first opted to leave it for now because it was more of a cosmetic issue, but then the neurosurgeon decided to go ahead and fix it. We see no bleeding on the brain at this time, however, we will continue to monitor with repeated scans throughout the night."
Looking between Arizona and Carmela, the doctor asked, "Are there any question you might have?"
Shaking her head, Carmela declined to speak. She couldn't. Never had Callie been in this terrible condition. It was all too much for Carmela to handle at this moment.
"I know she's probably in ICU, but can we see her?" Arizona asked.
"You can see her now. Only two at a time." The doctor instructed. "If you need anything or have any questions, please feel free to have me paged, Dr. Robbins Torres."
"Thank you." Arizona answered as she shook the man's hand.
"Why don't you and Tom go in first, and I will go and talk to Gavin and Monty for a few minutes," Arizona suggested to Carmela. She knew Callie's mom would want to see her child first. That was perfectly understandable. And, Arizona really needed to explain things to the boys, as best she could. But more importantly than that, Arizona wanted to visit Callie alone.
After Tom and Carmela left to go back and see Callie, Arizona walked outside to see her sons. They were several doors down, sitting with Rocco in the small waiting area next to the elevators. Sitting beside Gavin and Monty, Arizona began to explain, "I need you both listen to mommy carefully. Mama was in a car accident. She is okay. She has some bumps and bruises. It looks like she's going to be in the hospital for a little while. But she will be okay."
"Can we see her?" Gavin asked. Monty just sat there and looked at Arizona with a stare that was uniquely Callie's.
"They don't let children go to ICU. But I can tell her you love and and give her a big hug and kiss from you both." Suggesting this was not ideal. But, it would just have to do.
"I want to see Mama." Monty finally whined.
"I know baby. I know you do. I know you both do. But hospital rules say that you can't because you are too young. You have to be older to go back and see someone in ICU. When mama gets moved to a room, and she will, then you can both see her. But you can't tonight. Now I need that kiss and hug so I can give them to her." Arizona smiled sadly as she looked at two very disheartened little boys.
Obeying their mom, both Gavin and Monty gave Arizona a hug and a kiss to send to Callie.
Within minutes, Carmela came down the hallway. "You can go back and I will stay with them," the older woman spoke softly as she walked up. The tears in her eyes were not missed by any of her family.
Knowing both of her sons needed their rest and would likely give Tom a rough time tonight, Arizona made yet another decision. One that she felt sure Carmela wouldn't want to do, but one that was honestly needed at this moment. Whispering to her mother in law, Arizona suggested, "Why don't you go home with the boys tonight and come back in the morning. I will stay here with Callie. I promise I will call you if anything changes."
Surprisingly, the older woman agreed. She knew her grandsons well, and she knew that they would be a handful without either of their mothers present. "Okay. Call me if anything changes. I want to know. Come on sweets, say goodbye to mommy and we will come back tomorrow." Carmela instructed her grandsons.
Kisses and hugs were in full force as both little boys said goodbye to Arizona. They were now separated from both of their mothers. It's hard on kids when they are young and don't fully comprehend what is going on. Surely doubts and insecurity had crept into their minds as they walked hand in hand with their grandmother and Tom. Turning to look at Arizona as she stood and waved, tears filled Gavin's and Monty's eyes.
With his bottom lip quivering, Monty waved, "Bye mommy."
Several minutes passed and Arizona found herself standing outside of Callie's ICU room. It was glass walls and you could see the brunette clearly from outside. Arizona stood in the doorway for a few seconds. Seventeen seconds to be exact. The brunette was intubated. The tubes and wires that surrounded her were numerous. It was a sight that Arizona was accustomed to seeing as a physician. No matter the size of the patient, big or small, most doctors consider it the same. They are trained that way. The sight before Arizona's eyes tonight was unfathomable. Because this was her wife. Not her patient. The rules had changed. Taking a deep breath, the blonde doctor walked into the room slowly and quietly.
Gently taking her wife's tanned hand that was perfectly manicured, Arizona weaved the long soft fingers it into her own.
"You don't get to die on me. We're supposed to be together Callie." Crying on her wife's arm, Arizona could no longer contain her grief.
It was grief that Arizona was experiencing. Profound grief has to do with how complicated the relationship is and if there are any unresolved issues. When you are both alive, your relationship is always in the present day, so you just have to deal with what is going on at that time. When one person dies, the relationship is always in the past, and so you have to deal with the whole thing, decades of good and bad, ups and downs, connections and disconnections, understandings and misunderstandings. You have to deal with that...and that brings even more grief.
"Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much. Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away."
Up Next: "When It Hurts So Bad"
Sorry for the delay, I had vascular surgery and this is the first time I've been on here. See ya soon.