A/N: I haven't written in years. This will be…Interesting. If you like it, leave a review so I know (I like replying to reviews, they make me feel like people care.) Enjoy!
PS: This is wrote semi OOC as it's wrote half in the context of the players being toxic as fuck, but the cannon characters also having conversations.
Kitten Cannon
"Jinx, hurry up!"
The ever-so-impatient feline meowled as she sat aside her ADC duo. Her book holding her proudly, glimmering in the Heartseeker skin that they matched with pride. It was another day on the Rift it seemed, although it felt like this time was going to be a bit different than usual…
"C'mon, aren't you supposed to be the loose cannon here?!" Yuumi just wouldn't stop complaining, even throwing a few profanities; "Fucking lame ass laners sometimes…"
Meanwhile, Jinx was completely ignoring her ally to decide on what shiny new item she wanted. They all looked so… "Different." She mumbled to herself as she went through the shop, "Mythic? Ooh, I want those!"
Yuumi facepalmed as she put her Spelltheifs edge in her book, watching as Jinx decides to take a long sword instead of a Doran's Blade, "This is gonna go badly."
"Shut up, annoying cat…" Jinx growled, grabbing her guns and running past the towers. She was closely followed by minions, glancing up at the jungle and seeing passed the trees that they were playing alongside a Shaco, "Thank Urf, no leash…"
Cocking back her gun, Jinx focused on killing the minions as they walked up to her. One by one, they quickly popped down. Yuumi was bored of the plain CSing that was happening; Where's the enemy laners at?
"I'll be right back," Yuumi stated, hopping off and floating over with her book to place a ward in the river, "Book, gimmie ward." She fought with it for a good few seconds before she finally pulled one out and placed it carefully into the thicker brush that sat by the low-sitting river. It was more like a puddle, but she knew it as the river.
"Damnit cat, get back here!" Jinx yelled, running back to tower as she gets chased down by an Ashe. "I hate Ashe players…"
"Of course, you would." Yuumi laughed as she went back to clinging to her laner, attacking the enemy laner briefly so that her ally got the shield in the process.
It took both of them a moment of casually poking and chilling out to realize the enemy support had yet to be spotted.
"I don't see their support…" Yuumi muttered under her breath, but just as she did she heard an all-to-familiar laugh that signaled he was in fact, sitting and waiting, "Teemo-"
She was cut off from saying anything more as the yordle revealed himself, blinding Jinx temporarily and laughing once again as he danced circles around the enemy minions.
The kitten hissed in taunt at him, leaving her co-laner to poke him a few times over with auto's, causing him to back off quickly. "I hate little rats like you…I'd rather see you for dinner."
"Bring it, useless little cat." Teemo sneered, blinding her with a blow as she relinks to Jinx, causing her to miss her final auto attack.
Ashe simply shook her head as she aimed and shot out a volley, then gave vision on the newly spawned Cloud Drake, "You all are so toxic…"
While she was typing, she left herself vulnerable, and Jinx knew exactly how to abuse this, "And you're just dumb." She shot several cannon shots at her, taking a few minions down and weakening her opponent significantly. Clearly not a direct hit as she was simply covered in ashes and smoke, but enough to make Ashe take a couple steps back and rethink her tactics.
"Jinx! Keep going!" Yuumi cackled as she threw out a Prowling Projectile, carefully maneuvering passed the minions in order to focus Ashe, "Yes! Murder!"
"Ahahaha!" The bluenette stepped closer, swapping her guns and running under the enemy tower to attempt for a kill, "You're mine, bitch."
Ashe looked panicked for a moment, then realizing she was tower diving, quickly flashed from one side of the tower to the other, a smirk forming, "Oh really?"
A Teemo laugh emitted from the nearby brush, and suddenly all the loose cannon's auto attacks were missing. Yuumi quickly hopped off, realizing what was going on, her tail flicking as she moved away as quick as possible.
Jinx went down with a fight, and a ringing 'Ally has been slain' went through the entirety of the rift.
Yuumi knew she was safe, but she wasn't prepared for what was coming. A Teemo shot hit her, but not where she expected, causing her to screech as it landed right on her rear, sending poisonous shocks through her body. "Rude?!" She looked at him confused and in pain, watching as he suddenly went out of vision.
She went back to the turret and ran well behind it before she felt safe enough to recall. Flipping through the pages of her magical book, she jumped through the one that mirrored the base's appearance, the book snapping shut and blinking to the base. Opening back up, the frosty kitten jumped out and approached the shopkeeper.
"I need a Bandleglass Mirror, a Ruby Crystal, and two control wards." She demanded, holding her paw out with a large pouch of gold.
The shopkeeper took it and with a swift, "Coming right up miss!" He handed her everything asked, she stores them all in her book before latching onto her newly spawned ally.
"Let's go!" She yells excitedly, ready to destroy this runt at his own game. She hated how he looked at her, like she was something to eat. She was supposed to eat him. Cat chases mouse.
Running back to lane, they spot their ally jungler taking krugs. "Hey!" Jinx yells at him, waving, "Come gank soon?"
"I gotchu babes, just let me get this camp." The Shaco replies with a grin that sends shivers down both of their spines.
They looked at each other and mutually sighed, "Shaco players are weird." They spoke in unison, chuckling at their agreement, they turned their focus onto the lane.
Teemo was nowhere to be found as Ashe approached them, a big grin on her face. Clearly something was going on they don't know of…
The cry of the dragon roared through the rift as it's slain by the enemy team, Yuumi realizing where the yordle had ran off to, "Stay back, they're looking to gank."
The bluenette nodded, sitting back and letting the wave push near their tower, putting Ashe in a vulnerable position. Teemo clearly hadn't returned yet, and Shaco was getting into prime position to come in.
Suddenly, the frost queen found herself forced backwards as a Shaco box hit her close by. Not long after, Jinx started to run forward, Yuumi throwing a projectile and the clown coming out of seemingly nowhere to do damage.
"Shit…" Ashe mumbled under her breath, backing up under turret again. She glanced to her side and smiled some at something, but none of them realized what was coming.
A snowball came from the brushes.
"Why didn't you ward?!" Jinx yelled as she attempted to back off, watching as Shaco tanks the knock-up for them.
A shrill laugh comes from the same brush, a bright bubbly blonde coming out and tossing out a ball of light. This roots Jinx in place, "Why is mid here?! I hate Lux!"
"Not sure…" Yuumi backed off her ADC as the gank clearly was a fail on their part, both the clown and the loose cannon falling, leaving her to her own devices.
She watched as Ashe, Nunu, and Lux all recall right in front of her, feeling helpless as she tries to keep the large wave of red minions off her turret. Unfortunately, Teemo had other plans, coming from the nothingness and shooting a blowshot at her…nipple? Really?
She hissed and shuddered in pain as the poison pooled in her body once more, tugging it out and noticing the small pinch of blood leaking from her erect breast, 'Why is he being so weird with his shots?' She thought to herself, shaking her head and focusing on the minions. This was obviously on purpose, but she denied it to herself as she continued to take shots to various sensitive areas.
She finally backed off when she could feel it getting to her, weakness taking over but not quite dead. Jumping into the book, she only had 400 gold to her person, but she needed to heal up. Plus, Jinx was back in lane, so it should be fine, right?