All familiar characters belong to Janet. The first line is a writing prompt I saw online. The mistakes and the rest of the story are all on me.
"I'd rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds."
"Are a bunch of hummingbirds even called a flock?" I asked Junior. "No, never mind. You're just trying to distract me. Stop being a baby and just tell the bouncer we're a couple so we can get into the place."
"No. If I even hint that there's something between us other than a wary friendship, Ranger will rip out every one of my organs and put them through a blender just so he can watch them spill out of me all over again."
My stomach rolled at the visual. "That hummingbird murder sounded cuter."
"Let's focus on the fact that it'll be my murder either way. We'll just sit out here in the parking lot and wait for Tardon to come out to us."
"That could take hours! We could get in and be out in a matter of minutes if we can convince the bouncer to let us into couples' night."
Instead of agreeing with my logic, he hit the button on the wheel that'll connect him to the control room.
"What's up?" Vince asked, his voice filling our fleet vehicle.
"Is Ranger in?"
"Don't you dare, Junior," I warned him. "This isn't a Boss issue, it's a you're being a wuss issue."
I could feel tension now coming through the connection. "Steph? You okay?"
I sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just frustrated. I need a new partner."
"Which is why I'm calling in the big guns. Can you get Ranger on the line?"
"I'm here," Batman answered.
I sighed. Of course Vince would immediately contact Ranger if something out of the ordinary occurred.
"We have a situation …" Junior started before I cut him off.
"No ... we don't," I added. "I told Junior he wasn't going to die, but he doesn't believe me and now we're just sitting here wasting company time instead of capturing our FTA."
"Why aren't you getting the job done?" Ranger asked Junior.
"Go ahead and tell the Boss why we're wasting his time and money, Big Guy," I pushed.
He swallowed nervously, now caught between a rock and a Ranger place. He isn't sure if he completely overacted or just saved his life.
"Tardon is currently at a dive bar celebrating 'Couples' Night' with free drinks. The bouncer is turning away any singles, so …"
"I told him it's no big deal, we would just tell him we're a couple - not actually act like one or anything - and then get in and get out with our skip. Junior, however, developed a sudden fear of tiny birds, and a heightened one of you, and decided we need to turn our apprehension into a stakeout. Since the place is on the seedier side, he didn't want to advertise the fact that we're here to arrest someone and chance a shootout, so we're just sitting on our butts until Tardon and his current squeeze come out. It's okay if you want to kill another minute to ream Junior out for eating up time I could spend bugging you instead of him."
"I'm four minutes out," Ranger informed us. "Do not move until I get there."
He disconnected and I had to accept that I can't do anything except wait for Ranger now. Junior will flip the locks or just drive off with me if I attempt to go it alone.
"I don't believe this," I muttered. "Clearly you're all insane."
He crossed his arms and leaned back in the driver's seat, getting comfortable now that he knows his life isn't in any danger. The tattletale will probably get a bonus and everything.
"Not insane, Steph, smart and also territorial. If my girl was pretending to be hooked on Lester, I wouldn't like it. He wouldn't either if we had a 'talk' about it afterwards."
"Wait ... is there a 'girl'?" I asked, my Burg nosiness sticking its nose in his business.
"It was just an example."
"Uh-huh," I said, not entirely convinced. "Sure it was. Don't kid yourself, I noticed that you avoided answering the question."
"My point being, Ranger is worse than all of us put together. When it comes to you, he would see competition for your affection or an outright poaching-attempt as an opportunity for some target practice."
I snorted. "If that were true, Morelli would be dead ... not going through ever under-thirty Burger at a health-damaging rate."
He went suspiciously quiet.
"What?" I asked Junior. "What do you know? What did Ranger do to Joe?"
"That's for your man to answer, but there is a file four inches thick at the ready and even more quick to attain when needed. All the 'uncover jobs' the dick detective has been given since you met the Boss were … encouraged."
"Ranger got Joe sent out of town?"
"I didn't say that," he reminded me.
"Yeah, you're too smart to incriminate yourself, but you also didn't NOT say it."
His head rolled my way. "That makes no sense."
"It does to me. And Ranger would know exactly what I mean."
"Exactly! You have no idea how much attention The Boss pays to anything involving you, but we do."
I smiled just thinking about him. "He loves me." I cut my eyes to Junior. "His words, not just my imagination."
"It goes deeper than that, Steph. I'm guessing you still want another partner?" He teased.
"Yes. Now more than ever."
I woke up this morning next to a very awake and attentive Ranger, even had breakfast and lunch with him too, and yet ... I can't wait to get my eyes and hands on him again. I shook my head at myself. I'm pathetic.
Junior's eyes flicked to the rearview mirror. "You get your wish. Ranger's behind us."
I looked at my side mirror and couldn't tamp down my excitement at the Boss being nearby. "My mood-change doesn't change the fact that you're a big chicken."
He shrugged his muscled shoulders. "Better to be a live chicken than a decapitated Rangeguy."
I had plenty of comebacks, the first involving his preoccupation with winged-creatures, but Ranger's body was suddenly the view I got to enjoy through my window. Junior popped the locks, proving that I was right thinking he'd keep me in here if he had to, and I pushed the door open but not before I shot a glare over my shoulder at him.
He just grinned at me. "I'll wait here and take the guy to the station for you," he told us.
Ranger nodded to him and reached for me. "Why did Junior have to tell me that I was needed?"
"We got word that Tardon was here, but I didn't know we'd be blocked from getting inside until we got to the door. Junior thought you'd kill him for pretending to be more than a friend, so he dragged me away before I could lie and get us inside. You, and apparently all of the guys, know that you're the only guy I will ever want and love, so I didn't see a problem."
"That's what I pay him for. To not take unnecessary risks, especially where you're concerned."
"I wasn't going to do more than say Junior's with me and tug him inside before the guy could tell I was lying, but I didn't even get that far."
"Good," Batman said, leading us to the bar's entrance.
"You do know that I see the guys as just annoying big brother-type friends, don't you?"
"I'm not at all concerned about my position in your life is or what you feel for me, Steph. I do however want clear lines drawn around you at all times."
I rolled my eyes. He has completely disabled my libido so it plays dead unless he's around me, yet he still goes all Army Ranger on anyone who gets too close to me. I wanted to be mad, but mainly I just feel really loved.
"It wasn't a big deal," I said to him.
"I disagree," he said, before slamming his mouth down on mine.
I had fistfuls of his Rangeman jacket in my hands, and had gone up on full tiptoes, just to press myself as tightly as I could to him before he let my lips go.
"You're mine, Babe. Everyone but you understand what that means."
I blinked rapidly, trying to fan more oxygen and blood up into my brain. "I am, but …"
"No buts. If your man is needed, no one stands in for me. We clear?"
I was about to roll my eyes again, but they were suddenly hypnotized by the emotion he let show in his.
"Yes," I breathed out. "We belong to each other, no substitutes needed." I turned to address the bouncer who had turned me away ten minutes ago. "You asked for it. He's the other half of my couple, and he will shoot you if you don't let us inside."
The human equivalent of a thumb studied us for a total of one-and-a-half seconds before he determined we're together/together and gestured us inside with an arm-move that could have doubled as a bow when Ranger turned his stare on him. A glance over my shoulder showed that the bouncer tracked Ranger's left arm and noted how it had immediately curled around me to hold me close while he kept his preferred gun hand free to ward off any potential trouble.
I would have gotten in both of their faces for believing I needed someone claiming me, but I see things a little differently these days. Joe wanted to control me, my attention, who I called friends, and any choice - big or small - I made. Ranger just wants to love me and be by my side to witness the latest episode of the Stephanie Plum show.
"I love you," I whispered, as we'd both stopped three feet into the place to locate Tardon in the filled-to-capacity crowd.
"And only me," he said back, his hand going to the small of my back to direct me to where my skip was leaning against the bar.
"Only you, Batman," I promised.
I got my cuffs out but kept them hidden as I walked up to the a-hole I needed to arrest. I leaned in close, as if I were going to flirt, ask him to dance, or for a drink, but feeling Ranger's fingers dig into my hip had me sharpening my approach.
"You're under arrest, Tardon," I said under my breath. "You can come with us outside and get this cleared up quickly, or you can fight and have my guy put a bullet in you. Choice is yours, but I'd choose carefully."
He glanced behind me at the protective mountain of muscled-man stationed at my back. And probably for the first time ever, a skip actually listened to me.
"When will I be able to get bailed out?" He asked. "My niece's birthday party is on Sunday."
That wasn't the response I was expecting, but I didn't let my surprise show. "I'll put in a good word for you if you come quietly. You can even salvage your evening by telling your date that you need to clean up a past issue. And while you're busy thinking about your niece, you can decide to stop selling drugs to people who also have families that need and love them."
He debated for a minute, but when his girlfriend came up to the bar and threw a questioning glance my and Ranger's way, he was forced to make a decision.
"I've got to handle something, Baby," he told her. "I'll call you as soon as I'm free again. Don't worry and don't replace me. Vinnie will have me out by tomorrow afternoon."
Knowing my weaselly cousin, I couldn't disagree with him.
"Am I going to need to cuff you?" I asked.
His gaze strayed to Ranger, who gave nothing away while also promising his demise if he runs.
"No. I'm good. I need a clean slate before I can marry Leona. You're helping me get there."
"I'm just doing my job," I told him. "I'm not here to help your love life."
He smothered a grin. "I get that. Thanks anyway."
"Stop being nice!" I ordered him. "I went through too much crap to have such an easy capture."
He smiled as Ranger cuffed him regardless. "Would you like me to try to run?" My skip asked.
I considered the question. "Maybe just for a minute or two."
"Babe."
I blew the curls off my forehead. "Fine. Just do whatever you need to do to get your life together, and we'll call it even."
Ranger walked him out the door and into Junior's vehicle.
"I'm calling a lawyer right now, Sweetie! We'll get you out tonight!" Tardon's girlfriend yelled, while Junior got him buckled into the backseat.
He nodded his head in acknowledgment of her words. "She deserves better," he said, mostly to himself.
"They all do," Ranger agreed, making my eyes shoot to him as he shoved Junior's back door shut as my previous partner headed back behind the wheel.
"You said that for his benefit," I said to Ranger, "right?"
The Big Boss placed his hands on my hips. "No. I was saying it for mine as well."
"But you're the one who deserves way better than me, not the other way around," I argued.
"I disagree again, Babe. Your life wasn't easy, but it was different than how mine went. You didn't believe love was possible, and to men with pasts like Tardon's or what I've gone through, we believe we have to earn and test it."
I curled my arms around his waist. "And you're saying I've earned your love and have passed all your tests?"
"No. I'm admitting that sometimes someone comes along and just makes you need to be better. No matter how good you think you're doing, you can tell - at least yourself - that you have to do more to be worthy of that person."
That had me pausing. "I'm the one who needs to live up to you," I told him, feeling like a broken record that he's determined not to hear.
He completely turned his life around and made it one to be constantly in awe of. I'm still working on undoing all the Burg brainwashing that played a large part in keeping us apart for so long.
"It's all a matter of perspective, Steph."
"If you say so, but know that all you need to do is breathe to have me loving you and thanking Grandma's God for you. You're not the only one who has rethought a few things since we met."
He pulled me close as he escorted me to his truck. "Good to know."
I stopped to look up at him. "I know that tone. You're still going to do whatever you want, and make the guys go along with it, despite what I say ... aren't you?"
"Always."
I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but I just kissed his jaw and then relaxed into his big body instead. I know he's the only man for me, but maybe guys like him, and even women like me, will always need a different kind, more concrete form, of reassurance. My Mom, Dickie, and Joe, have all said they love me at one time or another, but Ranger is the only person besides Grandma Mazur and Mary Lou who has consistently treated me like he does. Tonight's a reminder that I need to put in the same amount of thought and effort into us as he has. Despite what he believes, he deserves so much more than me ... so I need to do whatever I can to keep him from ever realizing that.