Her discomfort must have shown on her face because Xena touches her soulmate's cheek and says, "Gabrielle, before we met, … after my warlord days … when I'd already started fighting for good…", she takes a deep breath and Gabrielle's heart begins to race. "Back then Marcus and I travelled together for a while, fighting for the just cause."
The warrior pauses and Gabrielle's mind starts to race with possible scenarios of how the story might continue. "We were a good team and helped quite a lot of people", Xena continues, holding Gabrielle's hand and gazing into the trees.
Too afraid to speak because her voice might crack with emotion, Gabrielle follows Xena's gaze and waits for the warrior to speak.
As if reading her friend's mind, Xena sighs and proceeds, "Everything was better than it had ever been. I felt more alive and happier than ever and … for the first time … I … I was really in love", Xena finishes in a quiet and distant voice.
Gabrielle's heart seems to fail. She stares at Xena in disbelief. Not because her friend has just admitted to being in love but because the bard has never heard a single word about it in all the years they've spent travelling together.
"Xena", Gabrielle breathes, "I had no idea. I … why did you never tell me?"
Xena turns to her friend and wipes away the solitary tear on Gabrielle's cheek. "Because it didn't last, Gabrielle."
The bard's face falls and she covers Xena's hand, which is still resting on her cheek, with hers. "Oh Xena, I'm so sorry."
Then Gabrielle hesitates but finally asks, "What happened?"
Xena heaves a sigh and Gabrielle, afraid that she's angered her friend, releases the warrior's hand and opens her mouth to apologize when Xena explains, "He was married but hadn't told me. … One day, after we'd saved a village from a fire and had barely gotten out alive, he confessed."
"Gods, Xena! That's terrible! I … my god", Gabrielle whispers her voice full of compassion.
"Yeah, it crushed me. I'd finally found love and then discovered it had all just been some sort of game for him. He tried to apologize and explain but … but I walked away – from him and from love and never wanted to look back", Xena finishes.
After a break in which this shocking new information settles on Gabrielle like a dead weight, the bard turns to Xena and hugs her tightly, pouring all her love for her friend into the embrace. Xena, first a little startled, responds by hugging Gabrielle back and doesn't let go for a long while.
When they finally break apart, Xena looks into Gabrielle's tear-filled eyes and whispers, "But then … I found you. Thank you, Gabrielle."
Xena and Gabrielle have talked a long time and so dusk has fallen. They have lit a fire and Gabrielle is cooking while Xena is sharpening her sword absent-mindedly.
"Ouch!" Gabrielle exclaims suddenly and Xena jerks up, "What? You ok?"
"Yeah, just burned my hand a bit", the bard replies, cradling her hurting hand.
Xena gets up, gets one of their water skins and pours some cool liquid over Gabrielle's hand. Then the warrior pulls a small box of ointment from one of their bags, covers the bard's hand with the substance and bandages it with a piece of cloth.
"Better?" Xena asks with a little smile.
"Yeah, thanks a lot, Xena", Gabrielle replies smiling a little herself.
After a short moment of silence Gabrielle says, "Ok, dinner is ready. Let's eat, shall we?"
"I'm looking forward to it. It's been quite a day, hasn't it?" the warrior says, taking a deep breath.
Gabrielle smiles weakly and hands Xena a bowl of stew before taking one herself.
After dinner Gabrielle offers to go to the nearby stream to rinse the dishes and refill their water skins. Xena accepts her friend's offer gratefully and lies down on her bedroll. When the bard returns ten minutes later she finds her friend fast asleep. Glad that Xena has finally found some peace after this turbulent day, Gabrielle approaches her, covers the warrior with a blanket and lightly brushes her fingers against Xena's cheek. At her touch Xena mumbles something incomprehensible. The only word Gabrielle can distinguish is "Marcus". Her eyes welling up with tears again, Gabrielle curls into her own bedroll and emotions wash over her until sleep drowns them out.
To be continued...