Angel of Mercy ch. 3
"I don't understand." Nick, who had stepped out into the front room, had been surprised to see Deidra dressed in riding clothes. She wore a heavy winter jacket and had a bedroll under her arm. "You're just up and leaving? You weren't even going to say goodbye?" He glanced towards the bedroom. "Jarrod's fever is gone. He'll be waking up soon. He'll want to thank you." The moment the words were out of his mouth, Nick was stunned to see the same fleeting look of sorrow in her eyes that he'd seen when he and Jarrod first arrived.
Deidra once again gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I never said that. I mean, I never said I was going to simply disappear."
She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "Have you never had feelings you can't explain? Ones that say you need to go somewhere-that your help was needed, even if you don't know why?"
Nick nodded slowly. "All of us have, I mean, me and my family." He paused and then thanked her for her help. "Still, Jarrod will wish he could have seen you."
Deidra smiled wide and, for a lightning split second, the corners of the smile actually lit up her eyes. "He's a good man. Please, tell him I'm glad he survived." She went on to say there was soup in the oven and some sandwiches on the counter-covered with a hand towel. "The few canned goods that are in the cupboards, you can take them. I will be gone for awhile, won't need them. You and Jarrod will." She then walked out the front door. Nick then turned around, walked back into the bedroom and sat down. It would be another hour before Jarrod opened his eyes again.
"How do you feel?" Nick asked once he could see Jarrod was awake for good.
"Like I've been run over by a train." Jarrod struggled to get comfortable; his brother hurried to help him. Once Jarrod was again propped up by the pillows, he looked at Nick. "I imagined you telling me this was Deidra Ames' place and that she helped you care for me."
Nick shook his head and shocked Jarrod when he told him, "You weren't making things up. I did say that only she left once your fever broke." He went on to tell Jarrod of the conversation he'd had with the young woman. Actually, he gave brief synopses of all the conversations he'd shared with the young woman. "I could tell by the look in her eyes she didn't want to leave only she said she had to, said she felt strongly she needed to go help someone." He went on to say he thought Deidra Ames had feelings for Jarrod. "She seemed sad most of the time…I mean, when she looked at you. I think that young woman wants a chance with you, but thinks she doesn't have a prayer. Maybe you should rethink things in spite of any age difference that might exist?" Nick knew he was probably out of line in saying that only he liked Deidra and if she loved Jarrod….well, it couldn't hurt to speak up.
Jarrod was stunned beyond description. While he and Deidra had developed feelings for each other, to talk about that now would be fruitless. Finally, he was the one shaking his head and stunning his hot tempered brother. "What you said, what you suggest…" he continued shaking his head, "It's impossible, Nick. Deidra Ames died shortly before I left that hospital."
Nick's jaw fell to the floor. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "But she was here! She helped me tend to you and whatever else she needed to do!"
Jarrod didn't know what to think only he knew Nick was no liar. If he said Deidra Ames had been the one to help them, then she had been there. He automatically started thinking about the past. The look that appeared in his eyes prompted his hot tempered rancher to ask slowly, "What happened? I mean, how did she die?"
Jarrod flicked his wrists before laying his hands back down on the blanket that covered him and growled ever so softly. "That 'piece of work'…as she put it to you. The only consolation anyone back then had, only consolation I have now, is that he too is dead." He took a deep breath and then continued. "Somehow that man found out just who it was that tied his boots together. He got rip roaring drunk and then barged into the hospital. He had every intention of killing me." He shuddered as the memory came back to him. For a moment he quit speaking. After a few minutes he started explaining. "He had one very large knife. He was coming at me, swearing he was going to kill me for making a fool of him." He looked at Nick, who's eyes were showing he was connecting the dots.
"He killed her instead." Nick stated flatly.
"After she threw herself between myself and him." Jarrod replied. "A few of the other patients who were going to be released that same day managed to force him out of the room and into the arms of a few lawmen who happened to be visiting some friends of theirs at the hospital. He was sentence to life in prison only be killed by another inmate." Jarrod sighed. "Before she died, Deidra looked right at me and said 'I don't know exactly how it works on the other side only I'll help you if you ever desperately need it." The fact that the very last words she'd spoken were 'I'll never stop loving you' was something Jarrod chose to keep to himself.
While Nick had no way of knowing what Jarrod was keeping from him, he could still see the look of a man who had lost something very precious to him. "Well, I, for one, am grateful she was here. I'd have lost you without the extra help. I just know it." He then excused himself, saying he was going to get Jarrod some soup…as well for some for himself.
Jarrod said nothing, though he did nod slightly-acknowledging he agreed with Nick's statement concerning the extra help and the need for some nourishment. Once Nick left the room Jarrod started to close his eyes only to receive the shock of his life as Deidra appeared in the corner of the room.
Jarrod, who quickly came out of his shock, said, "I thought you left."
"I did, but I had to come back, had to hear for myself you were okay." Deidra's eyes implored him to understand she wasn't talking about his physical health at that moment.
She seemed so sad….Nick's words repeated themselves in Jarrod's ears. In between the look in her eyes, and her words mixed with Nick's, Jarrod realized just how much guilt he'd been carrying around. That is, he'd been blaming himself for her death only there was no true blame to be put at his feet. With that realization, he felt a peace that had evaded him for ages, and he gave her a smile of his own. "I've never been better. Thanks for your help." He then added kindly, "Don't be afraid to be happy, promise?"
For the first time in years the smile on Deidra's s face stretched out, touched her eyes and stayed there. "I promise!" She then disappeared from viewing.
Jarrod smiled, relaxed and waited for Nick to bring him some soup.