Chapter 3- Patient 34789-32251

Guys, a couple of you has earned gold stars for figuring out what's wrong with Jay. Bravo! Bravo! This chapter will definitely be eye opening, focusing entirely on Jay and his emergence. More symptoms will come up and hopefully start to paint the picture of what's really going on. Same rule as last time, parts that happened in the past are going to be italicized. Let's get going!

"Hello, Jay. How are you feeling today?" My how quick drugs worked, the ones he was on weren't going to be fully affective for another few days and weeks, but just the initial installation into his body was doing wonders. He still appeared frightening and odd and rather unwell, but the aggression was gone and the silence was no more. Today he was sitting up in bed, looking all around the room before looking down at himself. He was very mellowed out, obviously under the strong control of antipsychotic medication. He couldn't make eye contact with anyone and his left foot kept twitching, but the muttering was more subdued this time. Dr. Charles approach to the bed didn't cause a jolt or freak out like it did the previous visit, but instead a slow blink before looking his way.

"Jay, do you know where you are?"

"Don't talk don't talk don't talk don't talk don't talk." Well, at least the mumbling was more understandable. Nurses said when he woke up in the middle of the night after the Haldol wore off that he was yelling everything from a color to kitchen utensil, all coming out dead serious but making no sense.

"Jay, you are in a very safe environment. We are only here to help understand what's going on." A deep, evil laugh broke out, one that was quick but long and really out of place for Jay. For all the years Dr. Charles knew him, this was something he never saw or dreamed him to act like.

"I see what you're doing here. This is some test, some punishment because I failed, right?" He was still not making eye contact, fascinated by the pen scribbling observations down. Dr. Charles found himself at a crossroads: correct Jay or play along with his fantasy. Both were good options, diagnostic tests really, but he had to decide right now which Jay would be more susceptible to.

"No Jay, this the breakdown post mission. We do this for everyone. Especially with this virus out there we have to take every precaution necessary to keep people safe. Now, where do you think the mission failed?" Jay attempted to sit up more, surprised to find restraints on him. Dr. Charles wasn't sure if he'd been aware they were on before, the slight tugging told him the answer.

"Can you take these off?"

"Not till we clear you, do you want to infect us all?" Jay shook his head, turning it to one side and beginning to mumble.

"What was that, Jay?"

"I was told to not speak."

"Who told you that?"

"The mission director. Just now." Dr. Charles nodded, writing down 'audible hallucinations' before continuing.

"How long has the mission director been sending you these messages?"

"Ever since I got the case so…since the beginning of this year." Long-term audible hallucinations, delusions, responding to antipsychotic medication; they were finally getting somewhere.

"Just to make sure my notes match, the mission director speaks to you personally and.."

"-Through the news. That's where I got next steps. The personal communication was for everyday stuff and if things went wrong. Or if I needed instructions right away and was away from the TV." Dr. Charles was writing everything down and in bold. This was exactly what he needed, this dialogue. It may have taken a lot to get Jay to this point, but he was checking off all the boxes with every word spoken.

"So is that who was talking to you the day of the incident?" Eventually Jay nodded.

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Why not?"

"Because I hate discussing failure. It was a dream case that would make my career and I totally blew it."

"Alright. We're not going to talk about it, but I would like to discuss what happened leading up to that. Sounds good?" Jay nodded, tugging at the restraints another time, now surprised to find them there.

"Why are these on?"

"Just a precaution. Please continue." Jay closed his eyes, deeply inhaling before exhaling through his mouth. He was truly searching for the memory, like going back to a traumatizing time that he'd buried deep. Despite the day having been a couple days ago, to Jay left like a lifetime. Time was no longer able to be measured. Dr. Charles was convinced Jay hadn't slept in days, almost in a manic state leading up to the day.

"It was a bad headache. It went all over my body, but stayed the longest in my head. That was when the mission director said today was the day. The virus was here, in Chicago, infecting people and I had to stop it before it went all over."

"So did the director tell you to go specifically after her?"

"Shut up!" Jay screamed that, startling Dr. Charles as Jay began convulsing, extremities flailing as his head rolled from side to side.

"Get him a dose of propanol!" A nurse raced into the room, handing off the syringe as Dr. Charles held an arm down long enough to inject things. Once the drugs were in, the medical staff sat back and watched as Jay was under this random, aggressive attack on himself. This was not exactly under the classic symptoms of Daniel's running theory, but it wasn't totally out of the question. Aggression was a symptom, but against oneself was odd.

"I can't talk anymore," Jay spoke, eyes darting all over as his body worked down to constant shaking.

"That's okay. We can talk later. I'm going to go debrief but I'll be back later." Dr. Charles rose from his seat, making sure to not touch or speak to Jay as he left the room.

"Leave this close to where he can grab them," Dr. Charles told Jay's nurse, holding out a folder of security camera screenshots. He had to start diagnosing this thing. A clock was starting to work against him.

"Let me know how he reacts. Also, let's get him started on the medication program for psychosis. We need to get him out of this episode so we can get going on recovery and management." The two of them looked back at Jay, speaking to himself as he kept twirling a finger in his opposite palm. He was such a mess and he didn't realize it. But unlike the last visit, Dr. Charles had a hopeful path to head down.

…

"So you want to speak to Will and I together?!"

"Yes. Will is in the middle of a case but will be up shortly." Dr. Charles was doing his very best to not draw conclusions or throw accusation towards those in Jay's circle. In his very short meeting with Jay, he couldn't understand how they didn't force him to seek help sooner. It was very apparent to him that something is wrong with Jay and it had been for quite sometime. Whatever this psychosis episode he was in had been going on for some time and was gradually getting worse, not better. Try as hard as he did, Dr. Charles saw where they were very much at fault for why Jay was where he was. Assigning blame and consequences were going to be left for the courts and grand juries at some point down the line, but in the immediate he was quite upset with all of them. Thus the reason for the surprise talk and foregoing of one-on-one. He had to get things out now and boy did he need some explanations. There was no way Jay hid things from everyone for so long.

"Is everything okay with Jay?" Hailey was fully aware of the stupidity in asking that, he was locked away in a psyche ward on an involuntary hold. Nothing about him was going be rosy and smiling. But still, she hadn't seen him since that day and had zero updates. She had to pry once again.

"I'm going to hold things back till Will gets up here." Hailey sighed, sitting on one side of the couch, crossing her legs before clasping hands to her knee. Daniel felt the tension coming off of her, and rightfully so. He knew that she knew that Jay was bad off and no one stepped in.

"How are things at the district?" Hailey looked up from her daydream, a little surprised before collecting herself to answer.

"Quiet, scared, on edge. The department brought in trauma counselors."

"And have you seen them?" Hailey shook her head.

"Shit happens. We all cope with things differently. I cried that night, but then I woke up the next day and went back to work. It's what we do."

"You don't see in all of this where mental health is important? Where if you shove things down stuff like this could happen at some point?" Daniel waved his hand, as if to flick the question away. He was fully aware there was venom coming out with the question, but he was practically sweating the stuff so he really didn't have a choice. Hailey sat back and was very silent after that, both to muddle what the psychologist said and the fact she was scared what this emergency meeting would be. She noted the lack of snacks and drinks and words of encouragement this round, things seeming to be and feeling rather serious today. The mood of the room was just as dark, but this time Hailey noticed it a lot more. The sound of ticking was echoed off the bland walls, Hailey unsure if it all was in her head or the miniature clock on Daniel's desk.

"Hey guys, sorry," was Will's sheepish response as he knocked, jolting Hailey back to the room and interrupting Daniel from an incoming text.

"Not a problem, please sit," he greeted while looking down at his phone. It was a quick worded message from the nurse he left the photos with. Her response was that Jay blankly stared before snorting into a laugh. Despite the severity and scary nature of the stills, he failed to show any range of emotions that were deemed appropriate. There was another puzzle piece.

"One second," Daniel spoke as he responded to the nurse, telling her to set up an isolation room and prep Jay to be moved.

"Please note that I'm not trying to throw judgement here, I'm going to save that for people who hold that role in all of this. But in meeting with and talking to Jay for a handful of minutes, I'm trying to wrap my head around why you two didn't get him into a hospital sooner."

"Wait, you spoke to Jay?"

"How's he doing?"

"You two, that's not why we're here. I'm on a bit of a time crunch, as are you, so let's get to the question." Hailey looked to Will who shrugged his shoulders. Both knew there wasn't a great explanation for any of it. They dropped the ball and knowingly turned a blind eye.

"This wasn't the first time he'd snapped like this. Let's not forget he pointed a gun at me during a case."

"When was that?"

"Oh, years ago. It was not too long after Erin left and he was undercover with a Ranger. It hit way too close to home, that being a trigger for another bad stint with his PTSD. So I just thought this was something like that. We both did try to help but he shoved us away. Literally, sometimes."

"So the talking to himself and saying random things and becoming aggressive is normal for his PTSD?!"

"Daniel, what did he say?"

"Will, I cannot tell you that. So what's your reason?"

"Umm, I did try to help, remember? I went to his place and he fought with me before running away."

"And you didn't feel the need to chase after him? Contact me and ask for help?"

"What was that about not judging or placing blame on us?" Dr. Charles smirked, doing his best to quell things before he totally snapped. He was walking such a fine line, trying to remain neutral and focused purely on the medical aspect of all this, but in this very moment that was so hard.

"I'm just trying to understand how two people who claim to know and care for Jay didn't see the warning signs or how bad off he was. I can't help but think that if one of you told someone, like me, about this…then maybe we wouldn't be here and Jay wouldn't be facing a lot of this." There was the gut punch, it couldn't stay in any longer. Hailey hung her head so as not to cry while Will nodded and stared into nothing. The silence resumed in the room for minute after minute, this unofficial stand-off happening between Daniel and Jay's base. There wasn't a sugar coated answer for things, they screwed up.

"I think I can speak for Hailey and myself when we say that we wish we'd been more aggressive with this. I would love to see him and help him understand that. But I get that we can't right now and I wish that could change."

"And we did try but it's really hard to get an out of control person to cooperate." No shit, Daniel thought to himself. His phone buzzed in his pocket, alerting him that Jay was ready for another round of testing.

"Well I'm just grateful that I was able to speak with Jay today. Not many people that bad off get to speak on the other side of things. I have to run a couple more tests and talk to him a little more, but I should have a diagnosis soon. I'll contact everyone when I do."

"Is he taking meds?"

"Right now it's all IV medication. Once he's more coherent and cooperative some will switch to oral medication."

"What's he on?"

"Nice try, Will," Daniel smirked. The three of them rose together and ran off to their various parts of the world, none of them looking forward to what was coming next.

…

The human body needs stimulation, craves sights and sounds and smells to keep it functioning and alert. The brain is constantly needing thoughts and observations coming in from the outside world. Even in the quietest of places, the brain can use smells or slow movements to keep itself preoccupied. Literally, if part of the body goes too long without being activated it will send out an electric shockwave, trying to wake up whatever part is going dormant for too long. So when the brain itself goes quiet for a lengthy period time, that becomes troublesome for the rest of the body. If the motherboard is quiet, how is the rest of it supposed to function. This long lapse of non-movement and stimuli is called a catatonic state. Despite chaos happening all around, people in this state can completely zone out, not move or speak or even twitch a muscle. This can even happened in a completely silent, blank space. Thus the reason for the isolation room setup, a final verification of sorts for Dr. Charles' assumption on what was wrong with Jay. He was pretty sure he knew the diagnosis by now, just needed this final checkmark to seal the deal. Getting Jay to this room was a mission all in itself, but they all made it relatively unscathed.

"You feeling alright, Jay," Dr. Charles questioned? He was the one pushing the wheelchair, the nurse pushing the IV tree behind. Jay had been mildly tranquilized for the small trip to the new location. Despite Dr. Charles swearing all was right and well, the moment the restraints were released Jay attempt to self harm himself, again repeating a salad tosser of words as he kept biting around his wrists. Dr. Charles needed Jay awake and alert for the test, but they had to get him from point A to point B.

"What did you do," Jay slurred as he was brought to a halt. At least he was speaking, the last several times not responding to Daniel's questions.

"All part of the tests. Do I have your permission to grab a hand and help you stand?" Jay had to feel some sense of control, it being the literal lifeline to keeping him from going off. Jay looked down at his hand before nodding, wincing as the foreign hand brushed against his.

"That burns. That really burns!" Jay was breathing deep, the beginnings of a panic attack coming on quick. Dr. Charles forewent asking, just grabbing him and holding a tight hug. He wasn't sure when the last time was, but Jay immediately accepted the outreach of affection. He'd lost so much weight that Daniel could make out bones and joints along Jay's back and shoulders. An accidental brush along the bottom of the neck was a sad note, recognizing where hair should've been but he couldn't even feel a follicle. Whatever Jay had been doing had damaged things down to the root. Daniel didn't think it would be permanent, but if he didn't leave things alone he could be looking at long-term issues.

"Don't listen to it," he whispered.

"I can't," Jay spoke back. There he was, some form of the Jay of old coming to the surface. It was a fleeting moment, but the smallest glimmer of hope. The only thing ahead was scary and dark and daunting, but in this nanosecond of time some remnant of him breezed by. Dr. Charles cleared his throat of emotion, stepping away while extending a hand.

"Please come sit in this chair." Jay did as was told, very slowly and wobbly but made it. Daniel placed a blanket over him as the IV stand was put behind the chair.

"Just sit tight for a moment and I'll be right back." What they didn't tell Jay was that the seat he was on was reading everything. From heart rate to eye blinks, him sitting here was going to reveal just how catatonic he got and how quickly he'd get there. In a room very lacking in stimulation, this was going to be the test to see how he reacted.

"What are we thinking here," the nurse asked Daniel as the two of them sat on the other side of the two way, observation mirror?

"I'm thinking we need to do a bit of research into the Halstead family tree. It's not qualified for the diagnosis, but could explain why he's living in this psychosis episode."

"What are you looking for exactly?" Daniel looked up to the patient who was daydreaming, not moving a muscle and sitting the exact way they left him. The heart monitor was strong, but every few minutes would beep a hair slower then before. Eye blinks were in the full daydreaming, catatonic stages now. No sneeze, body shift, twitch, or throat clearing came out of the room for a full thirty minutes and counting.

"Nothing good. Let's get him started on clozapine, benzos, lorazepam, diphenhydramine. Let's start with high doses so we can get him through this and then we'll adjust as he responds and is more coherent."

"But those are all for.."

"-Yeah, unfortunately." It was a quiet, somber final half hour of the test. Daniel used the time to write up his diagnostic report. He found the task, never in a million years conjoining Jay Halstead's name with these results. But that's how life goes. You're born one way and die another, your body going through a myriad of changes during that time. We are not born perfect, and the dysfunctional aspects of life are just proof of that. This was going to be hard for Jay, for everyone. Life was never going to be the same, a new normal was going to have to be established. At this moment in time, Daniel had no clue what that was; whether Jay was a permanent resident of this place or was able to get out an live on his own. It was something he never wished on anyone, not even his worst enemy.

"Shut the fuck up," Jay shouted at no one, initiating Daniel to rise out of his seat and break into the room. By the time he arrived Jay was shielding himself from the light, screaming to be taken.

"Just take me out. Just take me out for good!" The nurse came in with the medication tranquilizer as Daniel grabbed Jay in another tight hug.

"It'll be better when you wake up," Daniel encouraged as Jay went limp. It felt like a big fat lie, but Daniel prayed Jay held on to that as he spent the evening with the demons in his head.

"And now to tell everyone. Let's set up a meeting for the morning."

"Sure you don't want to do it now?"

"No, let's give them a final night of peace…before the rug is pulled right out from under them."

…

It was a jam packed office this morning. Almost all members of Intelligence, with the exception of Jay, were present along with a few white shirts and higher ups from the district. Lawyers skirted around the exterior of the room while observers from Med took up the space between cops and lawyers. So much was hinging on this diagnosis, if there even was one, that Daniel felt he should've put on a tie at least. He was the last to enter the office space this time, a startled discovery when he opened the door. All rose like he was the judge, jury, and executioner of Jay's future. Again, if only you knew what happened before his involuntary hold in the psyche ward, you'd get why all were there. But that moment in time will arrive soon. For now, let's get into Daniel's unofficial press conference with all the important people in Chicago.

"Good morning…everyone," he nervously greeted. They were a million different faces of nervous, those closest to the desk the most visibly upset of all. Will was wringing his hands as Hailey nodded and exhaled. They all felt this sense of let down along with guilt. Things never should've gone as far as they did, but here they were. Depending on the outcome of Daniel's results, they too could find themselves in legal trouble.

"Please be seated," he instructed and they did ago, things just continuing along like a courtroom proceeding. The only difference was that Jay was passed out, fully unaware this all was happening.

"Thank you…everyone for being here this morning. I appreciate everyone stopping their morning for this. Understanding the puzzle pieces that hinge on this diagnosis, I thank you all for your patience in getting to this point." Dr. Charles pulled out the case file from his brief case, keeping the pages abreast to himself as he skimmed through things a final time. He wanted to make sure there was no hesitation or doubt as he read, sadly at peace with what was staring back at him. Daniel cleared his throat, scanned the audience a final time, and then began.

"Patient number 34789-32251 entered the emergency department on November 2nd, 2020 after an attempted suicide by cop moment in a hostage setting. Patient showed obvious signs of distress, repeated attempts to flee the emergency department while failing to attack hospital staff. Further observation and testing deemed him eligible for admittance to the psychiatric department. With the patient not in sound mind, Dr. Halstead and myself signed off on a double doctor, involuntary psyche hold for an unlimited amount of time."

"The following forty-eight hours were a series of interviews, testing, consultations, and drug trials with both the patient and those in his inner circle. What was revealed was an extended psychosis episode lasting somewhere between ten to twelve months. Patient has obvious hallucinations, delusions, debilitating migraines, numerous catatonic episodes and many irrational, uncharacteristic periods. In speaking with the patient he is currently experiencing auditory and tactile hallucinations, strong delusions, slurred or dysfunctional speech, and manic episodes during the nighttime hours. With all these symptoms and his response to level one drug regimes, it my professional diagnosis that Jay Halstead of the Chicago Police Departments' twenty-first district Intelligence unit is suffering from schizophrenia. He was not of sound mind or reason during the events of November 2nd, 2020 and I would advise the courts to not press any charges." The gasp heard round the walls of the hospital began in that room. There wasn't a face that didn't drastically changed at the sound of 'schizophrenia.' They all either knew Jay or had heard of him, prior to the event, having nothing but great things to say about him. So to only be at the front door of his diagnosis, there was nothing but fear and hopelessness in this crammed office space. Some were crying, others were visually upset and shell shocked. None of them speaking for a solid minute.

"I'm sure you all have many questions so please, do fire away." Outcomes, treatment, quality of life began flying at Daniel, all coming from a source of love and concern. But none of it was from Will, who instead chose to double over and close his eyes; praying to wake up from this terrible dream. Instead his mind took him back to the very moment this nightmare really began, Jay's words repeating over and over again.

"3…2…1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"Oh Lord, turn it off Will," Jay spoke as the vomiting died down. Will scurried out of the bathroom and into the bedroom as Jay lazily rolled onto his back, making sure to flush before he hit the bottom. Closing his eyes and breathing, that was all he could force himself to do at this point. He should've known tonight's plan wouldn't work out. This was the third migraine in just as many days, each one getting progressively worse then the last.

"Jay, we need to get you back in bed," Will whispered in the doorway. Jay replied with a half hearted whimper on the floor. Will walked further into the room, still hesitant that whatever was going on wasn't contagious. They were in the height of flu season that came with a side of a stomach bug. Jay had called in sick to work that week, which in and of itself was telling of just how bad off he was. Will sat down next to Jay, feeling his forehead for a fever.

"Well, if you have a fever it isn't too bad. When was the last time you ate?" "Don't say that word." "Sorry. Can I at least get you to the bedroom?" Jay finally opened his eyes, albeit a crack. Will gingerly clasped a hand before pushing a hand under Jay's back. In one slow but fluid motion Jay was up, head rolling on Will's shoulder as they worked their way to the bed. It was the equivalent of trying to sit a newborn up, the muscles being no match for gravity.

"Jay, you need to go see a doctor," Will encouraged as he swung Jay's feet up on the bed.

"Relax, Will. This is probably just self-induced stress."

"Yeah right." Will pulled the sheets up to Jay's waist, asking a final time if he needed anything.

"I need you to go out and have a quality New Year's Eve and just let me sleep this off. I'm sorry I ruined tonight." "Not a chance. I'm not leaving you alone, Jay. And this is way better then getting royally drunk at a bar. Let me know if you need anything, but get some rest."

"Okay," Jay yawned, groaning at how much the task hurt. Will bid farewell, promising to check on Jay later on.

"One thing, Will. Can you turn the TV down, the talking is making my head hurt."

At the time Will didn't think much of it, just assumed he hadn't turned the TV off when Jay asked the first time. But now, sitting in the present with the diagnosis of schizophrenia, the crystal clear image of turning the TV off repeated over and over again in Will's mind. Jay began hearing voices that night, the beginning of the end for life as they all knew it. What those bastards in New York's Times Square weren't aware of was that they were ringing in a new era of Jay Halstead's life.

So this ended in a bit of a cliffhanger, but I felt this was a good place to leave things. Life will begin to pick up just a bit in the next chapter, but we will begin with answering the many question everyone surely has. Stayed tuned!