The Lighthouse's Tale
Miss Magillicuddy
AN:
I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves.
I keep my lamp lit, to warn the sailors on their way.
I'll tell a story, paint you a picture from my past.
I was so happy, but joy in this life seldom lasts.
Max couldn't remember the last time she had felt anything other than despair. The two months since Chloe had died were a constant blur of crying and staring aimlessly into space. She was sure it had to have been some time within the week that never was. She knew that her friends had been worried about her as they watched her slowly withering away before them. Her cheeks had hollowed and looked pale and pasty, while her hair was lank and greasy from going unwashed for several days. Kate would come by her dorm several times a week to attempt to force some food into the girl. She could see that it was killing her friend to watch her struggle on a day to day basis.
She hated that she would have had the chance to save Chloe but could have never gone against the girl's pleas to save the town. Everywhere she looked, she saw people moving on with their lives. They were joyous, never knowing how close they had all come to death. At the present moment, the brunette was sitting curled up in her bed, stroking her finger down Chloe's face in the picture of them dressed in their pirate gears. She felt the longing in her heart the longer she stared and felt the tears begin to build up in her eyes. She released a shuttering sob and bent her head to cry over the picture.
"I miss you so much," The girl whispered to the picture, stroking her finger once again over the beautiful girl's face, "I… can't do this anymore."
I had a keeper, he helped me warn the ships at sea.
We had grown closer, 'till his joy meant everything to me.
And he was to marry, a girl who shone with beauty and light.
And they loved each other,
And with me watched the sunsets into night.
Max released a long drawn out sigh and removed herself from her bed, slowly staggering over to her desk and collapsing in the chair, taking a moment to gather her bearings while she looked around her room. It's a mess in here. I should clean it up… so they don't have to. Max stood on unsteady legs and made her way to her closet to grab a garbage bag. She set to cleaning up the trash in her room. She picked up a rotten banana peel and stared at it for a few moments in contemplation. I'm as withered and black inside as this banana peel. Max threw the banana peel into the garbage before grabbing a stack of unfinished homework and tossing it in over the top of it. She made her way slowly through her room, tossing out any garbage and staring at her belongings dully.
She had slowly made her way down the stairs and out to the dumpster to throw out her garbage and made her way back to her room, passing by Victoria, completely unaware of the worried look the girl gave her as she passed without response to the girl's inquiry. She didn't notice the girl hurry off. Even if she had, she probably wouldn't have cared. She stopped and looked at the sign outside of her door and saw that Kate had left her a message to try and cheer her up, but she just shook her head and continued into her room. She hurriedly sorted walked to her closet and started packing up her clothes, throwing everything into another garbage bag. She set her black dress out on her bed and continued walking around her room, picking up clothes off the floor and jamming them in the bag with her clean clothes. She looked under her bed for some boxes to store everything else in but didn't see any and decided everything else could be saved for someone else. She did make sure to straighten everything up before she made her way back over to her desk and tore a page out of her journal. She smoothed it out on the desk and began to write. Ten minutes later she folded the note and set it on top of her closed laptop, leaving it standing with the words: To whoever finds this note. Max glanced around her room one last time, looking for anything out of place before changing into her black dress. She threw her pajama's into the bag with the rest of her clothes and made her way out the door for her last time.
"Max," Dana said cheerily as she passed her in the hallway, "It's nice to see you out and about. Where are you off to?"
"I'm going to see Chloe," Max said distractedly, not even stopping to really talk. "Bye, Dana."
"Do you want someone to come with you," the cheerleader asked sadly, giving the girl a slight frown.
"No thanks," Max intoned, walking to the exit. She made her way idly down the stairs, out of the building and to the bus stop without anyone else stopping her. As she boarded the bus, she glanced at Blackwell. Fuck this place.
And the waves crashing around me, the sand slips out to sea.
And the winds that blow remind me,
Of what has been, and what can never be.
She'd had to leave us, my keeper he prayed for a safe return.
But when the night came,
The weather to a raging storm had turned.
He watched her ship fight,
But in vain against the wild and terrible wind.
In me so helpless, as dashed against the rock she met her end.
Victoria Chase could tell that something didn't seem right with Max. She had asked if the girl was okay as she passed by her like a walking corpse and didn't get any response. The blond turned her head and watched wearily as the girl paused outside of her door before ambling aimlessly into her room. She felt her worry raise a notch and hurried from the building, intent on finding Kate Marsh. The blond made her way around the courtyard, hoping for a glance of the blond Christian, but didn't see her. She did run into Taylor, and with a quick word, the girl joined her to help find Kate. The two of them bustled through the snow, breath coming out in quick pants as they made their way toward the school building. They checked the photography room, then the science room and didn't see any sign of the girl. Victoria could feel worry gnawing away at her stomach as the girls continued up the stairs to the second floor, again with no sign of the blond. As they reached the landing of the third floor, she could hear the orchestra practicing in the music room. The two best friends shared a look before running to the door and peeking through the window. They could see Kate sitting in the first seat, fingers gliding over the neck of her instrument as her bow moved elegantly across the strings. They eased open the door, which could use some WD-40, as it screeched loudly. The music stopped, and everyone turned to stare and see who had disturbed them.
"Uh, sorry to interrupt," Victoria said to the orchestra director, shifting awkwardly, "could we talk to Kate for a moment?"
"Sure," the woman said cheerily, waving Kate to join the girls. The girl slowly made her way towards the door, staring at them in question.
"What's up," Kate asked them in a whisper, looking between them in surprise.
"I'm worried about Max," Victoria whispered in a somber tone, "I saw her walking towards her room a bit back, and something just seemed really off about her. Has she said anything to you lately?"
"No," Kate said, a deep frown marring her face, "I've been pretty worried about her, too."
"I tried to ask if she was okay, but she walked past me as if I hadn't said anything at all," Victoria told her, looking at the ground, "I thought, you know, you're her best friend. Maybe you would be able to talk to her? I'm afraid she's going to do something stupid, and she and I aren't really close."
"I'll go check on her right away," Kate croaked, worry evident in her voice as she hurried back to her seat and packed up her violin, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Nelson. Something's come up… I need to check on my friend."
"Of course," The woman said, waving her out of the room, "Let me know if you need anything."
Kate nodded absently, and the three blond women hurried back towards the dorms. If they had looked to the right as they exited the campus, they may have noticed Max ambling her way towards the bus stop. As it was, they didn't see her and continued making their way towards the girl's room. The girls hurried through the door and up the stairs, speeding their way towards the girls room.
"Hey, Kate," Dana said, as they passed by her outside her room, drawing a heart with her and Trevor's initials in the middle. "Orchestra get out early?"
"No," she said, stopping to look at the girl, "Victoria had told me Max seemed off when she saw her earlier, so I'm going to check on her."
"Oh," Dana said in surprise, eyes widening in worry, "She's not here. I saw her leaving about ten minutes ago. She said she was going to visit Chloe's grave."
"That's what she said," Kate asked looking at the girl with worry evident on her face, "Victoria said she saw the girl cleaning out her room earlier, and that she didn't respond when spoken to."
"Yeah," Dana said, worry edging into her eyes, "She came out of her room wearing a black dress and said she was going to see Chloe. Do you think she was lying?"
"I don't know," Kate said, biting at her bottom lip nervously, "I have a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something feels wrong."
The girls made their way towards Max's room, Dana joining in with them as the worry spread to her. Kate was silently praying as she paused outside of the door, turning to look at the girls following her before stepping into the dorm. Her eyebrows raised as she saw the bag of clothes sitting on the floor and how neat it looked. Kate couldn't remember the last time she had seen the room so clean. She continued roving her gaze around the room as she, and the three girls behind her, stepped further into the room. Her eyes landed on Max's desk, and a gasp flew from her lips as she spotted the paper.
"To whoever finds this note," She whispered as she felt her face turning pale and took shaky steps towards the letter and slowly reached her hand out to pick it up. She opened the paper slowly, while she began talking out loud. "Please, God. Let her be okay."
To whoever finds this letter:
I can't do this anymore. Every day I feel myself slipping further and further into myself. I thought I would be okay because I lived for five years without her, but I miss her too much. Knowing that I'll never see her smile or hear her laugh has been killing me inside. I'm going to go be with her, now.
Kate: You have been a great friend these past few months. I know this is going to hurt you, but I'll be in a better place. I ask that you keep your light and don't let the assholes of the world bring you down. It's ironic that in the week that never was, I saved you from suicide… and now it's me that is going to take the leap. I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about, but Prescott and Jefferson are where they belong. I only wish they hadn't gotten a chance to hurt you before their downfall.
Dana: You have also been a great friend to me. You always went out of your way to try and make me feel included, and I really appreciated that. I wish you all of the happiness in the world and hope that things work out for you and Trevor. I know he's already going to be better for you than Logan was. Be safe and live well.
Brooke: If you like Warren, you should ask him out. He's pretty clueless. I don't think he realizes you like him, just like he never realized I like girls.
Victoria: Don't be afraid to be yourself. You never had any reason to be jealous of me. I cared a lot about what people thought of me, I was just too shy to show it. I know that underneath that gruff exterior is someone with a lot of heart. You deserve to be happy, and I know you love photography. I'd like to leave you my camera… if you want it. Treat it well.
Warren: I'm sorry I couldn't feel the way about you that you felt about me. I hope you're able to move on quickly.
Mom and Dad: I'm so sorry. I know this is going to break you to pieces, but I can't live without Chloe anymore. I packed up what I could of my belongings but didn't have boxes for the rest of my stuff. You have been incredible parents, and I know you're probably going to be blaming yourselves, but this wasn't your fault. My body will be at the lighthouse. I ask that you bury my remains in the graveyard here in town. Arcadia Bay and Chloe were always my home. I'm going to go be with her.
Also, whoever found this letter, my parent's can be contacted at 555-0134.
I love you all,
Max
Kate felt her knees give out below her as her eyes rapidly roamed the letter. She felt Victoria pull her into a tight hug, unaware that she was repeating no over and over. She felt someone prying her fingers from the letter and turned her head to bury it into Victoria's shoulder as she began weeping. She could hear a gasp come from above her as Dana read the letter. Victoria had tears silently streaming down her face as she stared up at the other two girls in shock. She could see Taylor's hands shaking as she pulled out her phone and shakily dialed.
"Hi, my name is Taylor Christensen," She heard the girl state with a weary voice, "I'm a student at Blackwell, and my friends and I have found a suicide note from another girl at school. She is claiming that her body will be found at the lighthouse."
Kate shuddered as the girl continued speaking with dispatch, shivering wildly in shock. She looked up as Taylor disconnected the call.
"They're sending someone out to the lighthouse," Taylor stated sadly, "Hopefully they get there… before."
"I should call her parents," Kate said, holding her hand out for the letter as she pulled her phone from her bag. She dialed the number with shaking hands, waiting with bated breath as the phone rang 3 times before a voice on the other end answered.
"Hello," a smooth female voice said from the other line.
"H-hi," Kate stuttered, clearing her throat, and trying to speak again, "This is Kate. Kate Marsh? I'm a friend of Max's from Blackwell."
"Oh, Kate," Vanessa said with confusion in her voice, "Max has mentioned you before. Has something happened to Max? Her dad and I have been worrying about her."
"I found a note," Kate said numbly, struggling to get the words to come through her mouth. She didn't know how she could tell the woman what had happened.
"What do you mean," Vanessa asked with worry, "Kate, has something happened?"
Kate looked helplessly at Victoria, tears dripping from her chin as she struggled for words. The girl with the pixie cut gave her a sad look before taking the phone from her.
"Mrs. Caulfield," Victoria questioned, voice quivering lightly, "My name is Victoria, and I'm one of Max's dormmates. She…"
"What is it," Vanessa cried, tone becoming frantic, "What aren't you telling me?"
"She's seemed really off the past couple of months," Victoria stated, staring at her knee's folded below her, "I passed her in the hallway earlier, and she looked like a walking zombie. I went to get her best friend Kate to check up on her… and we found a suicide note."
"What," Vanessa cried out in anguish, "Max wouldn't…"
"We have contacted the police," Victoria told her sadly, "Max said in her note that her body would be at the lighthouse. We hope they get there in time."
"NO," Vanessa's anguished screams came screeching through the earpiece, a continuous scream of loud piercing no's interspersed by loud wails. Victoria could hear male voice start yelling in the background, asking what was wrong. "MAXINE!"
"What about her," the male voice pleaded panicked. Victoria could hear a slight struggle for the phone before the voice came through more clearly, shaking with worry. "What has happened?"
"It's Max," Victoria whispered to the man, feeling her heart in her throat as she listened to the cries of her mother. "We found a suicide note in her room."
"Max," The voice came through strangled, and quick breaths started coming from the man. "not Max."
"We've called the police," She muttered quickly. "We hope they get to her in time. I'm sorry we didn't catch it sooner."
She could hear the man begin sobbing brokenly, while his wife continued to shriek behind him.
"I'm so sorry," She whispered, "We'll call you again if we hear anything else."
"Please," He whispered, "keep us updated. I can't lose my little girl!"
After promising to call them as soon as they heard anything, Victoria disconnected the call. The four girls sat in the middle of Max's room, silently weeping for the other girl's despair. Could I have changed anything?
And the waves crashing around me, the sand slips out to sea.
And the winds that blow remind me,
Of what has been, and what can never be.
Then on the next day, my keeper found her washed up on the shore.
He kissed her cold face,
That they'd be together soon he'd swore.
I saw him crying, watched as he buried her in the sand.
And then he climbed my tower, and off of the edge of me he ran.
Max slowly tread her way up the hill towards her final destination. Each step she took, she knew was a step closer to being with Chloe. The freckled girl made her way to the entrance of the lighthouse and tried the handle. She frowned slightly as she realized the door was locked. She spotted the firepit nearby and made her way over, picking up the largest stone she could find and bashing it against the door. The door broke open with a loud metal clash. She stepped inside the entrance and lifted her hand to rewind, repairing the door behind her. She slowly climbed the stairs, tears slipping silently down her face as she stepped closer and closer to her ending. She could feel the anticipation growing in her stomach as she made her way through the door at the top of the building.
"I'm coming, Chloe," She promised before running towards the edge of the lighthouse and leaping over the edge. For the briefest of moments, she felt fear, then as she plummeted towards the rocky water, she felt peace. For the first time in months, a smile was spread across her face. Then she felt nothing… nothing but a free, floating feeling. She braced herself for the impact, hoping that it would be over quickly. She opened her eyes and the view momentarily disoriented her. She was floating by the edge of the lighthouse, looking down at her broken body crashing against the waves. She turned to look and saw several police officer's rushing up the hill. They were too late. She closed her eyes to try and reorient herself, she could feel herself shooting up into space. Towards what she hoped was Chloe.
And the waves crashing around me, the sand slips out to sea.
And the winds that blow remind me,
Of what has been, and what can never be.
I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves.
And though I am empty, I still warn the sailors on their way.
The next time her eyes opened, all she could see was a bright, white light. She looked around herself, momentarily confused. Out of the light, she saw a figure emerge, speeding towards her faster than she had ever seen anything move. She saw a whisp of blue before she was wrapped in warm embrace. If she were still alive, she would have described it as bone breaking. Here, it was tight, but comfortable. She felt at home.
"Chloe," She questioned, pulling back from the hug and looking into the girl's azure eyes. She felt her spirit increase as she finally felt complete for the first time in months.
"Max," Chloe's voice came into her head, but she saw that the girls mouth didn't move, "what were you thinking?"
"I couldn't live without you, anymore," Max said, looking down at her feet before glancing back up at Chloe, "I saved everyone else like you asked. I couldn't bare to be without you. I couldn't move on. It felt like half of me was missing."
"I'm sorry," Chloe told her sadly, grabbing lightly for her hand, and leading her into the brightness. "I did miss you, too. I've been watching you. It hurt in my soul to see you suffering."
Max felt even more at peace as she fully entered into the light. She could see bright green grass waving in the wind, and beautiful flowers in colors she had never seen before. Before she could even wish she had her camera, it materialized in her hands. She took bent down to take picture after picture, smiling up at Chloe in excitement as she showed her the pictures.
"Come on, dork," Chloe snickered, tugging her along behind her. Max stood tall and followed after her friend, watching as homes seemed to build out of nowhere. She paused as they came to a replica of Chloe's house, except it was painted a bright cheery blue. Chloe dragged her up the cement pathway and slowly opened the door to the house. Max froze as she heard laughter coming from the living room. Chloe turned to look at her with a large grin and pulled her further into the house.
"Maxine Caulfield," William said, as he spotted them come around the corner. "It's wonderful to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances… and maybe several years down the road. It's way too soon for you to be joining us."
"I'm sorry," Max said awkwardly, looking down at the ground. The man sighed before walking up and wrapping her in an embrace. "I really missed you. Did… did you see the alternate timeline?"
"I did," He told her, bopping her on the nose before smiling, "You made the right decision. Joyce and I would have been miserable without Chloe."
Max felt yet another weight lift from her shoulders and grinned up at the man, who drew her into another embrace. She heard a light giggle sound from next to them and peered around the man's shoulder. Her eyes widened as she was in the presence of Rachel Amber for the first time. She could feel the girl vibrating in excitement, and just watched as the girl came up and pulled her into a hug.
"I'm so pleased to finally meet you," Rachel said, backing up and pressing a hand gently against her cheek. "Thank you for helping Chloe to find me, and for making sure those bastards are going to rot in jail for the rest of their lives. There is a special place in hell for them."
"It's great to meet you, too," Max responded, grinning up at the other girl. "You're even prettier in person."
"Thanks," Rachel giggled, punching her shoulder lightly. "It's been hard watching you struggle the last few months. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't think I could have lived without the blue monster, either."
"How did you watch me," Max questioned, raising an eyebrow at the other girl, "That's not the first time someone mentioned it."
"Ah," Rachel said, "come on and I'll show you."
Rachel tugged at Max's hand, shoving her down onto the couch and grabbing for the remote. Chloe rolled her eyes at her friend, shared a look with her dad, and sat next to Max, throwing an arm over her shoulder and settling into the couch. She flipped on the TV and Max was shocked to see her parents on the screen. She felt guilt roiling in her gut as she watched her mom breaking down. I'm so sorry, mom.
"This is the hardest part to watch," Chloe told her, nodding at the TV. "Seeing my mom react to my death was very hard. I felt so terrible for her… especially when I found out she and David are going to eventually divorce."
"What," Max asked, looking at the girl in shock.
"We can see any event we want," Chloe said, turning to look into Max's eyes. "Past, present, and future. What do you want to see?"
Max closed her eyes and thought about seeing her parent's futures. She opened them and looked at the screen, gasping in surprise as she saw her mom smiling down at a baby. She immediately knew that her parents had decided to adopt a baby to try and help them move on from losing her. They'll be okay… eventually. The next person she thought of was Kate. She watched in surprise as she viewed Kate becoming closer and closer to Victoria. The two girls leaned on each other after her death. She watched as Kate comforted Victoria one night, while the girl blamed herself drunkenly for Max's death, claiming that if she had followed Max, she could have stopped her. Oh, Victoria. There was nothing you could have done! She watched as the two girl's friendship slowly grew stronger, leading up to an awkward first kiss. She saw as they eventually got married and started having children. Max was touched when she found out they named their first child Maxine.
"Wowser," Max mumbled, as she leaned her head against Chloe's shoulder. "I never would have seen that one coming."
"Me either," Rachel snorted from Chloe's other side, leaning over to look at Max. "I think what you told her in your note really must have touched her."
The group spent hours watching the lives of their friends on the television. Max realized that she wasn't getting tired and turned to Chloe to ask her about it.
"We don't have physical bodies, anymore," Chloe told her, "We are comprised of only energy, so we don't sleep."
"Oh, that's interesting," Max said in surprise. "What else can we do?"
"Well," Chloe said, sending her a silly smile, "watch this!"
Max's jaw dropped as the spot where a 19-year-old version of her friend had been sitting, was now a tween. She watched as Chloe's pirate hat materialized onto the coffee table, and the now younger version of her friend grabbed it and placed it on her head.
"Wanna play pirates," The girl asked, bouncing in excitement.
"Yes," Max agreed instantly, and felt herself shrinking down to her younger age. She grabbed her eyepatch off the table and put it over her eye, and pulled a bandana over her hair.
"Got room for one more," a young female voice asked. Max looked over to see Rachel had de-aged with them. The brunette excitedly nodded her head as Rachel put on her own pirate gear, and the three friends ran outside to play in the backyard, William smiling happily behind them.
"We're all gonna be hella best friends forever," He heard Chloe chant, as the door slid closed behind them. "Come on, Skallywags! It's time to commandeer this ship."
"Arrr, that's a great plan, Captain Bluebeard," He heard Max shout out. William grinned as he watched them race over towards the swing set. Joyce is gonna love this when she gets here.
End AN : That's the end of this oneshot. The song this story is named after is called The Lighthouse's Tale by Nickel Creek. It's a folksy song, but it is very beautiful. If you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it.