Soulless Ginger Nanny

Alec reached over to straighten Jace's tie. "Would you at least try to look a little presentable?"

"Remind me again why you didn't bring your actual husband." Jace rolled his eyes.

"WELL HE DIDN'T LET ME PICK MY FUCKING BABY SO HE'S NOT GONNA PICK THE NANNY, OK?!"

Jace cleared his throat. "Alright, I'm sensing a little bit of tension there."

Alec took a deep breath. "It's fine. Can we just get the first person in here?" he called, sitting back in his chair and trying his best to relax as the door opened and the first interviewee entered.

A petite blonde girl stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. She was probably a few years younger than Jace, with long hair braided back and a cute little pink dress. She sat down in the chair across from Jace and Alec, smoothing out her skirt and placing her hands delicately on her lap. "Hi, I'm Maureen," she said, reaching over to give them both a firm handshake.

"Hi Maureen," Jace smiled while Alec started flipping through her file. "Tell us a little about yourself."

"Well, I have about eight years of nannying experience. My last family let me go because their son was old enough to take care of himself. I play the guitar. I'm distantly related to the Rhode Island Rapist. And I really love kids! They're so great and cute and soft and fun to touch. I love touching children."

Alec looked up from the file. "Sorry, what?"

"I just love touching them!" She said enthusiastically. "Especially when they're really young. I mean, you know what they say. The younger the softer!"

"Greeeeeeaaaaaaaat," Alec said, trying to keep the disgust from his voice. "Thanks so much, we'll let you know."

Maureen smiled and stood from her chair, smoothing out her skirt again and walking out the door, closing the door behind her..

"She wasn't so bad," Jace said, smiling coyly. "She seems like a really hands-on nanny."

The door swung open again and the blonde girl returned. "Oh, I almost forgot," her smile brightened a bit. "I was supposed to tell you at the beginning of the meeting that I'm on the sex offenders list."

"For what?" Jace asked.

"Nope." Alec tossed the file into the trash. "Next," he called, picking up the next file as Maureen turned to leave and the next candidate entered and shut the door behind her. "So, Kaelie, tell us about yourself."

The tall girl smiled, coming to sit down.

On Jace's lap.

She smiled at the two boys, grinding her hips into Jace as she said; "Well, I'm great with kids, especially when it comes to making them." She turned around, straddled Jace and winked at him seductively. "I've had four kids already, and unfortunately I didn't have the privilege of raising them, but I'm sure they're all in great homes."

"Why couldn't you raise them?"

Kaelie shrugged, leaning more into Jace as he leaned as far back and away as the backrest would allow. "Apparently it's 'frowned upon' to do meth with kids in the house or whatever. It was some stupid technicality."

"K great, thanks for your time," Jace said, shoving Kaelie to the floor and brushing himself off like he was scrubbing herpes from his clothes.

Kaelie grunted, picking herself off the floor and turning to leave.

The next girl to come in was as petite as the first. Her short black hair came down to her shoulders and she was wearing a crisp grey pant suit. "Hello," she said, sweeping her arm like Vanna White as she sat down. "Before you ask me any questions, I would just like to say that if you choose me as your nanny, I will be raising this baby as a true Catholic—"

"Nope," Alec said, cutting her off. "Thanks for your time, have a nice day. Goodbye."

"But I didn't even get to—"

"Get out."

Aline sighed, clearly used rejection. She stood and left without another word.

"Next, Meliorn," Alec said, trying his best not to mispronounce the name.

A tall man entered the room. He had long blond hair pulled to the side in a dutch braid, a flower crown rested on his head. He had a guitar slung over his bare shoulder. The only thing he had on that may have resembled a shirt was a sleeveless tasseled jacket, left open to show off his chiseled abs. He wore jean shorts, which obviously used to be jeans and were cut to show off his upper thighs. He wore no shoes, and his feet and legs were covered in mud all the way up to his knees.

"No," Alec said, after glancing up from the file and seeing him. "No. No. Get out."

Meliorn turned around and left without a word, a sad look on his face.

"Wow Alec, way to judge someone on their appearance, He could have been the perfect fit."

The next person to walk in, Sebastian Verlac according to the file, was tall and properly dressed. He smiled at the two boys and—

"Nonononononononono get out no the answer is no goodbye." Jace stood, shoving Sebastian out of the room before he could even shake Alec's hand.

"Hypocrite," Alec scoffed. "What was wrong with him? He seemed nice. He was even wearing khakis."

"He had rapist eyes," Jace hissed, sitting back down and gripping Alec's shoulder. "Rapist eyes, Alec."

"Well, now we only have one more candidate," Alec complained, obviously worried that they wouldn't find someone today.

"She's hot," Jace commented, looking at the photo in her file.

The girl entered the room quietly, shutting the door behind her. She came to sit down in front of Jace and Alec. "Is it just me or did that last guy have rapist eyes?"

"Thaaank you," Jace said, looking at Alec with a smirk. "I'm an excellent judge of character."

Alec rolled his eyes, ignoring him, and turning back to the girl. "So, Clary, tell us a little about yourself and your past job experience."

Clary cleared her throat nervously. "I used to work at this small daycare across town, but the place wasn't receiving enough business so they had to close down. But I had worked there for almost four years before, so I have a lot of experience with children. And I took care of my brother a lot growing up."

"Oh, you have a younger brother?"

"No," Clary shook her head. "He's two years older than me, but he's a huge baby."

"You're hired!" Jace exclaimed.

"What?" Clary asked.

"What?" Alec yelled.

"I told you," Jace nodded. "I'm a great judge of character. And Clary here is perfect to raise our child."

"Our child? Jace, you're not the father."

"I named this baby," Jace countered. "And I'm the godfather slash uncle slash mentor."

"Who ever said you were the godfather?" Alec scoffed.

"Alec, please." Jace turned back to Clary. "Anyway, you start next Monday."

Alec leaned in to Jace and whispered harshly; "Jace, I don't need a soulless ginger nanny!"

Clary leaned over, covering the very small distance between their chairs. "Yeah, and she probably doesn't have a masters degree in child psychology from NYU either."

Alec leaned back, not seeming at all ashamed that she had heard his very loud whispering. "Do you really?"

Clary smiled and nodded.

Alec sighed and looked over her file again. "Alright… Monday it is."

You'll probably start to notice a few callbacks to The Surrogate in this chapter lol we're garbage

Hope you enjoy!

xoxo

-R&A