Straighter than a Stripper Pole

Magnus knelt down behind Clary to shimmy the skirt of the dress down her ass while she held the top firmly to keep her boobs from spilling out.

"Is this really appropriate attire for a dinner with you and your gay husband?" Clary asked, frowning at her reflection.

"Jace will be there too," Magnus said, still adjusting Clary's skirt.

"Hardly seems like someone worth dressing up for," Clary mumbled.

"Don't be silly, Biscuit," Magnus chided. "Every occasion is worth dressing up for, no matter how small. Now hold still while I stuff your buttcheeks into this dress."

"Shouldn't I put on some underwear first?"

"Absolutely not," Magnus scoffed. "That would ruin the entire outfit. The last thing this dress needs is a visible panty line."

Magnus finished stuffing Clary into the dress, then curled her hair and made her put on heels so high she was almost the same height as him.

Clary walked up the stairs in her stilts and tried her best not to break her entire face.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn," Jace whistled. "You clean up nicely."

"Thanks," Clary blushed, adjusting her skirt.

Jace twirled for the mirror Clary didn't realize he was standing in front of. "I was actually talking to this fine slice of sexy pie in front of me."

Then he looked up at Clary and had to clear his throat to hide the sound of him cumming in his pants. "Uh… but… uh… you look nice too…"

Alec clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Ok, we need to leave. The reservation is at 6 and I don't want to be late."

"What about James?" Clary asked, noticing that the baby was with neither Jace nor Alec.

"We got a babysitter," Magnus said, ushering everyone towards the garage.

"Who?"

"Maia," Magnus and Alec said in unison.

Jace gasped. Clary's eyes bulged out of her head. They looked at each other.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" Alec asked, shoving Clary into the car. "Maia is a sweetheart."

Clary stayed quiet for the rest of the car ride, and Jace seemed to get the message too.

Once they reached the restaurant, Magnus and Alec went to their reserved table and Clary made an excuse about having to go to the bathroom. She took off her 8 inch heels as soon as she got inside and started to look for windows she could escape from. There was no way she was leaving that precious baby in the hands of a lunatic.

The door opened, and Clary whipped around to see Magnus standing behind her.

"Clary, is everything ok?"

Clary nodded, pretending to do a little pee dance. "Yeah, I just had too much to drink back at the house."

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked. "Because you seem nervous to me. I know you're uncomfortable about this being a double date but honestly you and Jace have already seen each other naked so what is there to be worried about?"

Clary frowned. "I'm sorry, did you say double date?"

Magnus swore. "Shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

Clary rolled her eyes. "It's fine. Can I please pee?"

"Alright, alright. Just give me a call if you need help getting that booty back into your dress."

Once Magnus was gone, Clary quickly ran to the window and hoisted it open. She lifted herself up and shimmied through the small opening, trying not to flash the entire bathroom incase someone else came in.

Just as she was about to free herself from the window, she saw a familiar blond head just below her.

"Jace?"

He looked up. "Oh, hey Clary."

"How did you escape?"

"I walked out the front door."

Clary cursed. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"You worried about James too?" Jace asked, reaching up to tug on Clary's hand to help her out of the window.

But she didn't budge.

"Ouch!" she cried as Jace pulled harder.

"I think I'm stuck."

Jace nodded. "You've just got too good of a booty."

Clary sighed, knowing he was right. "I don't think I can pull myself the rest of the way through… maybe you should just go back to the house to check on James and I'll stay here to distract Alec and Magnus."

"Yeah…" Jace agreed. "Hey, did you know this was supposed to be a date?"

Clary chuckled. "No, Magnus let it slip just before I crawled out the window."

"He's going to be pretty upset when he finds out I left."

Clary shrugged as best as she could with half of her body hanging out of a window. "I feel like they're just fixated on that one night stand. But I don't want that to get in the way of our friendship."

Jace smiled. "Me neither."

There was a moment between them where neither of them said anything. Jace was holding Clary's hand and the window was holding Clary's body and for just a moment, she wanted to take back what she had said. She didn't want to be friends with Jace at all.

She shook her head, refusing to get lost in his eyes. "Anyway, would you mind giving me a little shove?"

Jace reached up and pushed on her shoulders as gently as he could while still shoving her through a tight window.

Clary's waist wiggled free and she managed to shimmy herself down close enough to the floor to drop down safely.

Or at least it would have been a safe landing if she weren't completely uncoordinated.

The second her feet hit the floor she spun, slipped and landed straight on her ass with her legs completely spread.

And just in front of her she saw Magnus smiling.

"Shit."

"Aww, sweetie, you shaved just for me?"

Clary sighed. "Did you hear that whole thing?"

Magnus smirked. "Every word. You didn't even wait for me to leave before you started wiggling that big ass out of the window."

"Why is everyone suddenly making so many comments about my ass?"

"Because it's delicious."

"Well," Clary stood up and pulled her dress down to cover her entire vagina. "I guess you already know that Jace is going to check on Maia and the baby."

"Oh, I don't care about that. Let's go back to the point where you two agreed to be friends?"

"What about it?" Clary huffed, still pulling down her skirt.

"Please," Magnus scoffed. "The only type of friends you and Jace could be is friends with benefits. Those benefits: a relationship."

Clary shook her head, shoving her feet back into her absurdly high shoes. "I don't think so."

Magnus ushered her to the door, following her out. "We'll see, Biscuit. We'll see."

They headed to the table and sat down, ready to place their order.

Alec looked up from his plate of completely eaten lobster. "Oh, hey. You guys ready to go?"

Magnus squinted at Alec's empty plate. "Did you order already?"

Alec licked his fingers. "Order? I finished eating. I paid the bill. I called the valet to bring the car around. Where have you been?"

"Did you not notice we were gone?" Clary demanded.

"I had a lovely night, thank you for asking." Alec stood and took off his lobster bib and put on his jacket. "Now come on, the car is waiting."

wow we're really great at this updating thing huh?

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review and hopefully we can manage a decent upload schedule

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-R&A