I Thought You Weren't a Crazy Bitch
"Do we have to go?" Clary whined. She was sitting in the back seat with Jace, both of them squished beside James' car seat.
"This is Maia and Jordan's engagement party." Alec said, looking at Clary sternly through the rearview mirror. "We have to go to support them."
"I agree with Clary," Jace said, bumping his shoulder against hers. "Seems unsafe to walk into the house of a crazy person."
"Jordan isn't that bad," Magnus protested.
Jace rolled his eyes. "I was obviously talking about Maia."
Magnus and Alec both gasped. "How could you say that?" Magnus said, hand on his heart. "She's the most kind and joyful person I know."
They arrived at Maia's house shortly after, and Clary was surprised to find that it wasn't an insane asylum.
They all unloaded and headed to the front door. Clary held James close to her and covered his head with her free hand, hoping to protect him from whatever they were about to see.
Inside, Maia's house was… nice. It was tastefully decorated. She would call it minimalist if it weren't for the entire wall covered in picture frames. The frames hung all the way at the top near the ceiling aaaaall the way down to the bottom near the floor. They were all pictures of her friends and family, it seemed. Clary started to wonder if maybe she was being too harsh on Maia before.
"Hello everyone, welcome!" Maia greeted them. She led them into the kitchen where she had laid out a lunch of chicken, mashed potatoes, and several other things that made Clary's stomach grumble. "Jordan should be here any minute. He just ran out to grab a few things."
Simon and Isabelle were already there, and so was a tall guy who was standing closer to Simon than Isabelle was.
Clary reached for the plate of green beans, hoping to snatch one before anyone noticed, but Jace grabbed her hand. "Don't eat that," he hissed. "Don't let the house fool you. That food could be poisoned."
Clary rolled her eyes. "I'm immune to most poisons on the market anyway. She may be crazy but she's a good cook. This food smells good."
After a few more minutes of idle socializing and Clary sneakily snacking on the food, the front door flew open.
"I'm here," Jordan called, his voice cracking a bit. He stumbled into the kitchen and everyone stopped talking, too shocked to do anything but stare.
"Jordan." Jace's voice was concerned. "What happened?"
Jordan smiled, his teeth red with blood. "Oh nothing," he said, swaying on his feet. "Just got into a bit of a collision on my way home."
"Oh my god, are you ok?" Clary asked.
"Where are the plates," Maia asked.
"You should sit down, you might have a concussion." Alec tried to lead him towards a chair.
"Where are the fucking plates," Maia asked again.
Jordan smiled. Blood was dripping from a cut on his forehead. "They're right here sweetie. I'll set the table." He limped over to the dining table and started taking out paper plates and plastic cutlery.
"What? No, Jordan, you need to see a doctor," Clary protested. Several people agreed as they tried to pull Jordan gently away from the table.
"What. The fuck. Is this?" Maia was standing across from Jordan. He flinched like he had just been slapped. "Why are the plates green and the forks red? Huh? Jordan? Why? Is this a fucking Christmas party? Is our engagement a joke to you?"
Jordan's blood started to drip onto the plates in front of him. "I'm sorry, you know I'm colourblind and—"
"I don't want to hear your lame excuses with your stupid fake disabilities! First your diabetes, now this? You fucking liar! How dare you make a fool of me like this!" She shoved him into the wall behind him, which happened to be the wall covered in picture frames.
Several frames fell to the ground, and most people were too busy trying to pull Maia away from Jordan to notice all of the strange holes in the wall. Clary approached the wall and started ripping off frames. Each one hid a hole in the wall, all roughly the size of a fist or a foot.
Jordan was sitting on the floor, his hands over his ears as he rocked himself back and forth like a child trying to tune out the sound of his parents arguing.
"I knew it!" Jace screamed. "I knew she was a crazy bitch!"
Isabelle let go of Maia. "Jace, don't say that. She's just having a rough day. She's probably stressed about the wedding."
Maia, who had somehow freed herself from the four other people holding her down, opened a kitchen drawer and pulled out what looked like a molotov cocktail and a lighter. "I'm gonna burn this fucking house down."
"Oh," Isabelle said. "Yeah, she is crazy."
For the second time in the span of ten minutes, the door burst open, only this time the person standing behind it was wearing a blue uniform.
The man tackled Maia, knocking the molotov out of her hand and pinning her to the floor. "Maia Roberts, you are under arrest for four counts of arson, six counts of public urination, one count of kidnapping, seven counts of grave robbing, and domestic abuse. You have the right to remain silent…"
Another officer walked into the house as the first one was handcuffing Maia. He held a dog on a leesh. Once Jordan came into the dog's view, the officer let go of the leesh and let the dog run to him.
"Zuko!" Jordan smiled, hugging his dog. "You guys found him!"
The second officer nodded. "It wasn't easy. If we hadn't followed her last night when she was moving his location, we never would have found him."
"What the hell is going on?" Alec demanded. Jace and Clary seemed to be the only ones who weren't surprised by what was happening.
"This woman has been forcing Jordan to live with her and pretend to be in a relationship with her. She was holding his dog hostage and has been committing a shitton of crimes for the past three years. The only reason we had enough evidence to finally arrest her was because of an anonymous tip we got a few days ago."
"I knew it!" Clary said. She was standing at the kitchen island. Jace was holding the baby now so Clary could use both of her hands for the chicken.
The first officer reached behind Maia and took the ring off her finger. He handed it to Jordan. "Just so you know," he said, "if you need a place to stay, you can stay with me."
Jordan nodded. "Thanks man, I might take you up on that."
"Who is this delicious man?" Clary asked through bites of mashed potatoes.
"This is Bat," Jordan said. "I know him from work."
"Work?" Everyone looked just as confused as Clary. "You're a cop?"
"Mhm," Jordan nodded. He was sitting on the floor petting his dog now. "I have the most important job at the precinct. Paperwork."
Bat dragged Maia away and handed her to the other officer. She was screaming and struggling, but everyone ignored her. "I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you and that dumb dog!"
The second officer wasn't afraid to bang Maia's face on the doorframe on their way out.
"I'm going to go pack a bag," Jordan said. "I don't really want to stay here for much longer. Sorry about the party guys, I really wasn't expecting it to end like this."
"Are you kidding?" Magnus said, almost laughing. "This is the most interesting event I've ever been to!"
"I'm keeping the chicken," Clary muttered.
Lol i love it when we update on time...
Enjoy the chapter!
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-R&A