Yes, it's been 100 years since we've uploaded. Yes, we're sorry. Yes, it will probably happen again. Enjoy!

Wanna go to Blood Testing?

"Come on everyone! No time to waste! Our appointment with the phlebotomist is at noon!" Alec was bustling around the house, trying to gather everybody and load them into the minivan.

"Why do we need to get blood work done?" Jace asked. He looked like he just rolled out of bed. He hadn't bothered to change out of his grey sweatpants and black undershirt that he must have slept in, and Clary wasn't exactly complaining.

Alec rolled his eyes. "It's important to get blood work done at least once a year, especially if you're sexually active, cough cough, JACE."

Jace scoffed. "I'll have you know that I always wear a condom."

Clary coughed. "And why am I coming?" Clary asked, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere else.

Alec cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, yes, because we need your help with James. He might get fussy."

Clary nodded. "So I'm not getting blood work done."

Alec coughed. "No. Uh. You're coming, so you may as well HAHA nothing suspicious at all we just need you to come and help us get blood work for our perfectly healthy baby and we are bringing both you and Jace because we want to be sure that our friends and loved ones are healthy and that is all." When Alec stopped he was out of breath.

"Alright darling, that's enough," Magnus interjected. He stepped out from around the corner, dressed in a silk kimono. "We're all going, no arguments, so get in the car."

Clary and Jace grumbled but didn't argue. They all filed into the car and Alec started driving to the clinic, blasting Mozart all the way. "It will help with James' brain development," he screamed over the music.

"Well it won't help with his ear development," Jace yelled back, reaching forward to lower the volume.

They got to the clinic and Magnus carried James inside. Clary and Jace loitered outside while Alec parked, clearly hoping to be able to escape somehow.

Just as Jace was about to sneak Clary to the nearest McDonald's, Alec slammed the car door shut and started walking towards them.

"Quick," Clary hissed, elbowing Jace. "Call your batmobile or something!"

"My what?"

"I don't know, don't all rich guys have some kind of high tech car they can call with a remote control or something?"

Jace scoffed. "I'm not Tony Stark."

Clary rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I slept with a millionaire and he doesn't even have a batmobile. And even worse, he's a Marvel fan!"

"Let's be honest," Jace hissed. "You slept with me for my magnificent body, not my money."

Clary shrugged. "The money wouldn't have hurt."

Alec finally reached them, grabbing them both by the shoulders and steered them into the building. "Come on, you two. It's blood testing time."

Clary pouted. "Do I have to? I know I don't have any STDs, I got tested after Jace ruined my toilet."

Jace cringed but said nothing.

"That's not all we're testing for," Alec said, but he gave no further details.

They all sat together in the waiting room, Magnus and Alec across from Jace and Clary. James was sitting on Magnus' lap and he was chewing on the soft fabric of his dad's kimono. Magnus didn't seem to mind that the silk was being ruined by baby spit.

Soon after, a man in a white doctor's coat, holding a clipboard entered the waiting room. He gestured to Magnus and Alec and ushered them into a side room, leaving Clary and Jace alone.

Clary didn't say anything about how they apparently didn't need her help with the baby after all.

Jace shook his leg nervously beside her. "So," he muttered. "We're just talking about this openly now, huh?" he asked.

Clary was caught a bit off guard, but just shrugged. "There's no reason for things to be weird. We slept together more than a year ago. We're both adults, there's no reason we have to be awkward about it."

Jace nodded. "So… what I'm hearing is you're down to do it again."

"I didn't say that."

"But you heavily implied it," Jace winked.

"Nnnnno, I definitely didn't."

Jace winked again. "But you wanna."

"Yes, but I didn't say that!"

"Ha!" Jace cried, far too loud for it to be appropriate for a waiting room. "You admit!"

Clary rolled her eyes. "I would like to retract my statement about us both being adults."

"But not about you wanting to sleep with me again," Jace smirked.

Jace's leg jiggling had slowed but not stopped. Clary slapped her hand down onto his knee. "You're shaking all of the chairs in this row."

Jace took Clary by the wrist and slid her hand farther up his thigh. She pulled her hand away and smacked his knee.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, and she knew it was about his still bouncing leg and not at all about his attempt to get her to touch his inner thigh. "I'm just nervous."

Clary chuckled. "You flirt quite boldly for someone nervous to talk to me about it."

"Not about that," Jace corrected. "I'm afraid of needles, not women."

Clary laughed. "Poor baby doesn't like getting his blood drawn?"

Jace shook his head and pouted.

Clary reached over and patted his cheek. "Poor rich baby doesn't know what it's like to go to blood drives for food stamps. I bet you've never even sold your eggs online."

"I definitely haven't," Jace agreed. "But not from a lack of trying. I just don't think many people are interested in buying my farm fresh eggs."

The man in the long white coat from before came out, with Magnus and Alec behind him. They sat back in their seats. "Clary and Jace?" the man called, and they both stood.

Jace took a small panicked breath and Clary squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, big baby. I'll sit with you."

The phlebotomist, whose name Clary learned was Denis, allowed Jace and Clary to sit beside each other as they both got their blood drawn at the same time.

Clary held Jace's hand as he screwed his eyes shut and let one single tear fall down his cheek.

Clary was more the type of person to look down and watch as the needle entered her arm. Jace, on the other hand, hadn't even had the needle in for more than a second and was already unconscious.

Clary rolled her eyes and let them finish, then shook Jace awake as the nurse pressed a bandaid to his arm. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. The aliens are done stealing your blood."

Jace opened his eyes slowly. "You think I'm pretty?"

"Very," Clary smiled and helped him up. She slung his arm around her shoulder and helped him back to the waiting room, where she saw Magnus and Alec, leaned together, whispering conspiratorially, like they had some big secret they didn't want anyone to know.

They stopped when they saw Jace and Clary approaching. "Hello nanny and uncle to my child and that is all you are to my child," Alec smiled creepily.

Jace swayed. "I'll have you know I am also the godfather."

"Yes," Alec agreed, "and that is the only father you are. The father of god, chosen by God to be the fake father, not the real father, and—"

"Alec shut up," Magnus interrupted. He nodded to Jace. "You okay, bud?"

Jace swayed a bit more and nodded. "I just lost so much blood."

Clary scoffed. "It was only two vials. That's like two and a half tampons. Grow up."

OoOoOoO

Jordan crossed his legs, then uncrossed them, then crossed them again.

"Comfortable?" Doctor Fairchild asked.

Jordan nodded. He was nervous to talk for some reason, even though he was finally free of Maia, and he felt happier now than he had in years. Maybe it was because he hadn't been single in years and now, sitting here, having to talk to his hot psychiatrist, he didn't know what to say.

"I know it was you," he blurted out before he even realized. "You're the one that gave the anonymous tip about Maia."

Doctor Fairchild sighed and took off his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt. Jordan tried not to gasp at how much hotter he looked without his glasses. Well call me Lois and slap me on the ass, he thought. Clark Kent just turned into Superman.

"Are you angry?" the doctor asked. "I know I wasn't technically violating doctor-patient confidentiality, but I hope I didn't cross a line."

Jordan shook his head. "No, thank you. If you hadn't, I'd still be stuck with that lunatic. And I wouldn't have my dog back."

Doctor Fairchild nodded and put his glasses back on. Jordan was, for some reason, turned on again. It was like looking at two different hot guys over and over again.

Jordan took a deep breath and tried to build his courage. "So… I was wondering… if maybe I could see you this weekend?"

Doctor Fairchild flipped through the pages on his clipboard. "My office is closed on the weekend, but if you'd like to move your next appointment to an earlier date—"

"No," Jordan interrupted. "That's not what I meant. I meant… like… maybe I could see you this weekend."

The doctor blushed and took off his glasses. Damn, he really needs to stop doing that.

"J," he said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "It would be inappropriate for me to date one of my patients. In fact, it would actually be illegal."

Jordan paled, and nodded. "Right. Yes. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked…"

Doctor Fairchild pulled a few papers out of his clipboard and handed them to Jordan with a pen. "You should fill out these transfer forms. I'll send you over to Doctor Wayland. He's great and I think he can really help you."

Jordan started to panic. He didn't reach for the pages the doctor was still holding out. "Wait, what? No, I don't want to transfer. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I was just—"

"How's Taki's at 7 on Friday?"

"...What?"

"For our date?" Doctor Fairchild asked.

"Oh." Jordan smiled and slowly took the pages. "That sounds great. Ok. I guess I'll see you then, Doctor Fairchild."

"Call me John."

Please review your thoughts!

xoxo

R&A