Apparently I messed up last chapter, and I wrote some confusing things so I am here to clarify:
Hoyt is still alive, he was supposed to die and I guess I rewrote that in one half and not in the other half. So yes, The Surgeon is alive and in recovery - you will hear more of him in later chapters.
Thank you for pointing it out DEEG1291
A/N at the end so this won't become too long.
Angela, Frankie and Tommy could arrive any moment and Jane couldn't properly handle the situation – going from excited to anxious and feeling worthless in a matter of exactly sixteen minutes.
"Maura, I can't do this anymore. I am done.'' the brunette sighed deeply, looking at the doctor scared.
''Jane, you will be okay. Nobody is going to judge you if you can't hold a fork for long or can't put a pot down on the table.'' Maura said calmly, walking over to Jane and taking a gentle hold of he wrists.
''I will set the table. Sit down and rest for a bit, take your time to calm down and you will be just fine.'' she added, leaning in on her tip toes and placing a light kiss on Jane's lips.
The blonde pulled away and she made eye contact with the other woman.
''You are Jane Rizzoli, you don't give up. I know you won't, America knows you won't give up. You have been on the headlines for weeks now, the press won't stop bugging my father about you. You, Jane – are a hero. And nobody is going to judge you for anything, you just have to get out of your own head and take your time on this. Don't rush your revalidation. Rest and let me do this one thing for you.''
Jane huffed, ''This one thing?'' she asked, rhetorically.
''You have been here since I left the hospital, Maura. You are putting yourself in danger by being here – just because you want to help me. Is this even legal?'' the brunette asked and Maura shrugged her shoulders.
''I am an adult, I live my own life – I can go where I please and it's legal. You need to stop worrying. My father is the one that runs the office, he needs to be safe. I don't. I can make my own choices and I can ensure my own safety – but I do miss the library.'' Maura chuckled, letting go of Jane's wrists and heading back to the kitchen to put the finishing touches to the dinner she was preparing.
''We can visit tomorrow?'' Jane suggested.
''Frost asked me if I could help him out with some files and plans he couldn't find or figure out. You can drop by the library and catch up with your mother.'' she added, brown eyes following Maura's figure as she walked away – sashaying her hips as she threw a quick 'Sounds like a plan.' over her shoulder.
Jane smiled to herself and took a seat on the couch, her smile quickly turning in to a pout at the realization that Maura was doing everything on her own. It hadn't escaped her mind, it kept her busy a lot how the blonde was pushing through this like a champion and Jane had been nothing but a mess. The PTSD and bi-polar issues that had developed due to trauma caused for her to be worth exactly nothing. Her mood swings went far, from crying to laughing – happy to sad – all to extreme extends. The brunette could go from extreme happiness to feeling suicidal barely minutes later at the slightest trigger. It was exhausting for her and she knew it was exhausting to Maura as well.
Maybe she should take the blonde up on that therapy offer.
X X X
''Hey Ma.'' Jane said happily, a smile on her face as she carefully embraced her mother in a hug.
Angela hugged her back and let out a relieved sigh, ''I was so worried about you, how have you been? You have a lovely place here.'' the elderly woman said, gently rubbing her daughters back.
''I'm fine, Ma. Maura has been taking good care of me. And thank you.'' Jane muttered in to her mothers hair before letting go of her again.
She greeted Frankie and Tommy afterwards as Maura hugged Angela, inviting all of them to take a seat at the dinner table.
''So how has Washington been treating you so far?'' Jane asked once everyone was seated and had started to dig in to dinner.
Angela's eyes lit up, ''It has been amazing, and the White House is gorgeous.'' she said, Tommy nodding in agreement to his mothers statement.
''It is from the outside, yes. From the inside though..'' Jane puffed out some air and let out a chuckle.
''Ugly furniture, none of the colours match – it is awful sometimes. Right, Maura?'' the brunette joked, looking over at Maura who was holding back a laugh.
''Oh lord, it is.'' the shorter one of two smiled.
''The yellow and white just don't match and some of the old furniture should be restored – but of course it is part of history so it won't be. I am glad I moved in here – Jane's apartment is a lot more cozy.'' the blonde said, falling silent as soon as she realized what she had said.
Jane's smile faded when her brother spoke up.
''You moved in with Jane?'' Frankie asked, coughing due to the piece of chicken he had almost choked on.
The doctor turned her head and looked at Jane with panicked eyes, the brunette had turned red at this point.
''I mean – she is helping me out with some things as I can't do them myself.'' Jane said quickly, her eyes switching from Maura to her mother. They shared a brief look before she turned her gaze to her brother. Angela knew about them already, and it surprised Jane that she hadn't gossiped to her brothers about it.
''And we might be seeing each other.'' the brunette added, her voice quiet and her eyes casting down to her plate.
Tommy scoffed and sat back in his chair. ''You two are dating? Yeah, right.'' he laughed, putting down his cutlery and looking at his sister amused.
''I mean – we knew you were a dyke, but Maura? No way in hell. She isn't gay. Why would you say that and lie like that while she is right here.'' he crossed his arms over his chest now.
Jane furrowed her brow at her brother.
''A dyke?'' she asked, trying not to sound hurt.
''Yeah, I mean – that is what you are, right?'' Tommy asked as he raised his eyebrows at his sister.
''I am not a dyke, Tommy.'' Jane muttered, carefully putting down her cutlery and shoving back her chair.
''I don't know what I am, I just know that I love Maura and that is all that matters to me. I don't care if that makes me gay or not, but I don't need to hear offensive slang coming from my own family.'' she chuckled sadly, standing up from her chair.
''Jane..'' Maura said softly, reaching out to rest her hand on the brunettes lower arm but the woman pulled her arm away and shook her head.
''No, I'll be a moment.'' Jane muttered, putting down her napkin and leaving to her bedroom.
A silence fell over the table, judging eyes aimed at Tommy.
''I – excuse me.'' Maura said softly, standing up and making her way to the bedroom. When she opened the door her eyes fell on the brunette laying on her back on the bed, her legs were crossed and her arms were resting at her sides.
Jane didn't say anything, she didn't even look up. All she did was stare at the ceiling, clearly thinking of something.
''Are you okay?'' Maura asked quietly, walking over to the bed and carefully sitting down on it.
Jane turned her head when the bed dipped next to her, looking up at the blonde who was now sitting next to her – her back leaning against the headboard of the bed.
''He liked you, didn't he?'' she asked.
Maura nodded. ''Yes.. He did. He liked me a lot. While I was working in Boston he asked me out and we went on several dates.'' she admitted.
Jane scrambled herself together to sit up, hurt now on her face as she looked at the blonde next to her. ''You went out with Tommy? Did you fuck him too? Do you know how old he is, Maura?'' she said confused, angry.
''No, Jane we didn't..'' Maura sighed
''I am 28, Maur. So are you. He is 23.'' the brunette stated.
''Jane -'' Maura muttered, not pleased by being interrupted – especially not by an angry Jane Rizzoli.
Jane scoffed. ''Oh, no. Don't you 'Jane' me. What were you thinking? Did you go out with Frankie too? My father?'' she hissed.
''Jane.'' Maura said sternly, her hands cupping the brunettes face and making eye contact with the woman. As soon as hazel green met brown, Jane's face visibly softened.
The brunette realized she was having another anger attack, it came forward when she felt anxious most of the time and as Maura was the only one in the room she took it out on her. She wanted to apologize but the blonde leaned in and kissed her deeply to silence her – and it worked.
Jane sat back a bit surprised as Maura spoke.
''I didn't have sex with any of your brothers, or your father. I felt bad rejecting Tommy, so I went out with him. Don't get me wrong, I like your brother – but I love you. So calm down, please.'' the blonde said, lifting her hand to stroke a strand of dark curls behind Jane's ear.
Jane exhaled, her breath shaky. She slowly closed her eyes and tilted her head down – disappointing in herself.
''I'm sorry, Maura. I did it again.'' she muttered.
''I am a mess and I keep getting this mad at you for no reason. Apologizing doesn't fix it, I know – words don't make up for actions. But I am sorry, and if you would want to – I would like for you to make me an appointment with that therapist tomorrow.'' Jane said quietly, looking back up at Maura who now had a sweet smile on her face – flipping the brunettes stomach.
''You are agreeing to therapy?'' the blonde asked happily, proud.
The former detective nodded. ''Yeah, it's time. It can't keep going on like this, he doesn't deserve the control her still has over my life – our lives.''
Maura leaned over and pecked the brunettes lips. ''I'll call them tomorrow.'' she whispered upon pulling back.
''For now, we need to head back to the living room. Your mother and Frankie are waiting for us. We can continue this after dinner. I don't blame you for your outbursts, it is a way of your mind to cope with everything. It isn't always fun but I know it isn't you, it just comes with the package.'' the blonde says as she gets up from the bed.
''Are you saying that I am always this bi-polar, Isles?'' Jane asked amused, getting up from the bed as well.
Maura hummed, ''I guess I am, Miss Rizzoli.'' the woman smiled teasingly to her girlfriend. She walked to the door but Jane blocked the doorway for her, long arms snaking around her waist and pulling her in for a hug.
She wasn't expected it but most certainly didn't mind it. The blonde wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and leaned in to the embrace, nuzzling her face in to the woman's neck.
''You are the best, please never forget that..'' Jane husked in to blonde locks, slowly swaying them from left to right.
''I don't think I ever will as long as I have you around.'' Maura responded honestly, the brunette always made her feel like she was the most important thing on Earth – like she could do anything she wanted to do.
''Good.'' Jane said. ''You are amazing. You are putting up with me even when I am awful to handle. I am so grateful for you being here and I haven't said it enough. So please know that I appreciate you being here and doing what you are doing because I am aware I can be a massive pain in the ass – especially now.'' she muttered, her voice hoarse as she pulled back from the hug and looked at the blonde in her arms.
''I love you.'' Jane whispered, her breath rebounding against Maura's lips. The shorter woman could feel her head spinning lightly at the words and the presence of Jane this close to her.
''I love you too.'' Maura whispered back, craning her head back a bit so she could actually look at the other woman. A smile spread across her face at seeing Jane smiling at her.
''We should head back to them.'' the blonde said, backing away from her girlfriend and motioning towards the door of the bedroom. The brunette sighed and stepped aside, Maura taking her elbow and dragging her along to the living room.
Both women were met with silence upon entering the room, Jane legitimately scared her mother might have been dead as Angela for once didn't have anything to say. Frankie simply gave them a sympathetic smile, Jane knew he wouldn't ever judge her.
Tommy on the other hand? If looks could kill, Jane would have been six feet under.
''I am going back to the hotel.'' the youngest Rizzoli muttered angrily, blue eyes never leaving his sister as he stood up.
''Tommy, come on.'' Jane sighed sadly.
The man shook his head. ''I wish Hoyt had killed you.'' he spat out, turning from his family and leaving the apartment.
''I wish that Hoyt had killed you.''
Hoyt.
Something shifted in her head. It felt like complete silence, yet it was the loudest chaos she had ever experienced.
Jane's chest rapidly moved up and down, her breathing frantic ash she got dragged back to the basement.
A distant voice called her name but she couldn't place where it came from as another voice loudly echoed over it.
''Wake up, Janie.'' his voice amused, it was clear the man enjoyed his hunt – playing with his prey.
''I can't start while you are asleep.'' the voice now closer as his breath rebound against the skin of her neck. She could feel his fingers running over her neck, knowing he was right behind her.
The distant voice called her name again, this time louder – but the sight of the man walking from behind her and stepping across the room hit the air from her lungs.
''I see that you found my toys.'' He whispered, almost upset.
''She is completely out of it.'' The voice in the background now becoming louder, it startled her.
Brown eyes tracked every movement the man made, she saw him pulling a scalpel from the roll of equipment. He cut loose the ties around her ankles and rolled her on to her back. She tried to fight him, to get loose but she couldn't succeed. She tried to hit him, Maura's cries from the couch making her painfully aware of how this could be the moment where she would die.
Maura's voice echoed through her head as she begged Hoyt not to hurt her, her cries, her whimpers – her desperate words.
Jane tightly squeezed her eyes shut and tried to raise her hands to her head to get the memory out of it as desperate cries faded in to worried words, but someone grabbed her wrists – keeping her from moving her hands up.
''Jane, please come back to me.'' Maura's was worried, holding on to the brunettes wrists so she wouldn't harm herself while she was out of it.
''Don't touch me!'' Jane's sudden speech was loud, and she jumped away from the blonde – ripping her wrists loose.
''Don't – please. Don't touch me.'' she husked out, stepping backwards until she hit the back of the couch. Her eyes were trying hard to adjust to see who were in the room with her, her body trying to shake off the anxiety and her mind trying hard to make sense of what was going on.
''Jane – it's me.'' the voice was now soft, caring.
Something in Jane's head clicked as Maura said her name again, brown eyes going from terrified to relieved.
''Maura.'' the brunette exhaled, her voice cracked as a sob escaped her lips.
Maura was taken aback as Jane practically threw herself in to her arms. Now wasn't the time to question it and she simply wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and kept her close.
The blonde looked over to Angela and Frankie who looked at them in silence, just as worried as Maura was. A simple nod from Frankie let Maura know she could take Jane to bed and that the two would let themselves out and so she did.
A/N:
I am not too surprised I slipped up last chapter, my head is a bit cloudy at the moment.
For anyone out here that doesn't smoke or just picked it up - put that stuff down and never touch it again cause boy, is it a shitshow to get rid of again.
Sorry for the less frequent updates once again, I just really need to get this in control.
Again, thank you for reading this and sticking with me. You guys are amazing and I can't thank you enough.