Sesshoumaru listened with half an ear as the miko before him prattled on about injury aftercare. Ointments and bandages. Cleaning and sterilization. Things he never before had to pay any mind to. Things he should not ever have to. But that appeared to be where things were for him. Currently.
As she continued seemingly endlessly going on about the prudent manner to handle his damaged form, he found that he hated this situation even more. But his hate traversed beyond his unfortunate predicament. Beyond his fragile body, and its limitations. Beyond all that he lost, and was in danger of losing. Beyond his unexplained circumstances, and the complete absence of justice.
As the miko did her best to prepare him for what lay ahead, he found that he simply hated her.
He hated how she regarded him as one of her own. He hated how she looked upon him not in fear, but with sympathy and concern.
But most of all, he hated how willing she was to lend him her aid. Despite everything he had done to her, everything he had meant to do; all was forgotten as she was apparently taking it upon herself to do whatever she could to see him through this crisis.
He should not need her help. He certainly didn't want it. But nonetheless, here she was; letting bygones be bygones as she put their checkered past aside to lend him the aid he so desperately needed.
But letting the past be forgotten meant letting he himself be forgotten. All that he was. He, Sesshoumaru, in all his greatness, was a thing of the past. And she was all too willing to brush aside his attempts on her life, and on the lives of those she loved. His vocal distaste of her species mattered not to her anymore, because now he was one of them.
He was no longer fearsome Demon Lord; the Western Inu-daiyouki, King of all Demons. No.
Now, he was simply Sesshoumaru. Pathetic human. Weak mortal. Comrade in need. No!
He would not be those things. He could not. Not while he had an ounce of fight left in him.
He would have to make her see that. He would make all of them see it.
Despite his current form, Sesshoumaru was not to be trifled with. Not to be pitied. Not to be mourned.
And he would go to any measures to show her the folly of her ridiculous kindness. Of her baseless compassion.
Because most of all, and beyond all else, he hated that he needed it.
But just because he desperately needed help, did not mean that he would accept it.
His hate only festered as she continued on, though he kept it tightly contained.
"... at least twice a day. Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru, are you listening to me?"
Finished adjusting his haori, he reached for his yellow sash. He had elected to forgo the bone-plated armor, as it proved far too heavy to be practical. Though in need of protection now more than ever, there would be a good deal of traveling in his immediate future. And as he had been relieved of his swords, he did not foresee involving himself in any battles which would require the cumbersome attire. He would need to find a method of combat which was more suited to his present state. Until then, it was in his best interest to travel light.
Determined to put an end to her meddling, and cease its accompanying, annoyingly compassionate cadence, he fixed her with a condescending glare. And with no swords left to fight with, he aimed for the jugular, using the final weapon left in his arsenal. His tongue.
Luckily, it often proved to be his most effective tool. Particularly where she was concerned.
"It is my hope that you will not run off to boast of our encounter to any who will listen. I do not wish it to be known what indignities I have endured at the hands of a mortal woman."
As she registered his statement, the disbelief on her features turned quickly into righteous indignation, and Sesshoumaru was quite pleased at the change.
This woman appeared to need reminding of exactly who now stood before her; and his muscles relaxed slightly in relief as that recognition came crashing down on her in an instant.
That was much better. He greatly preferred her ire over her pity.
Kagome, however, was beside herself with rage.
How dare he speak to her that way?
Had she not just spent the night seeing to his comfort? Saving his life?
This demon- former demon- had tried to kill her and all of her friends on several occasions. And the few times he had not made attempts on their lives, he insulted and degraded them.
And even still, despite all that, she took time out of her chaotic life to make sure he was okay.
She took on the demeaning task of disrobing them both, and flew way out of her comfort zone as she pressed herself intimately against him for hours to keep him alive. She had put herself in great danger, from the cold and from his fury, without even a second thought. And now, he had the gall to be offended? To be disgusted? To worry about his precious reputation? The nerve of this guy!
But then, she didn't know why she expected anything different.
"You think I want anyone to know?" she shrieked incredulously, stepping closer as her fists balled in frustration. He turned his focus to appraise his blunt finger nails, illustrating his complete lack of interest- or concern- at her attempts at intimidation.
"If Inuyasha ever found out, he would probably never want to touch me!"
Yes, she figured both of them would be perfectly fine with never letting the hanyou in on the particulars regarding Sesshoumaru's recovery. But still, he didn't have to be such a jerk about it.
"What a shame that would be," he intoned sarcastically.
His lip curled into something resembling a smile. But no smile Kagome had ever seen before had been leant such a sinister air. The sight caused her to flinch, and she was tempted to retreat a half step.
"You would be denied the incapable fumblings of an inexperienced half-breed."
The hatred in his eyes multiplied at the mention of his brother. After giving her a haughty up and down, he dismissed her by turning his back in search of his boots.
Retrieving them from the floor, he took a seat on the makeshift bench near the fire and began putting them on.
She fumed as she watched him, and found she couldn't contain her retort.
"At least he is capable of love."
All of her compassion was forgotten in a heartbeat. It normally would take more than a few cruel words to strip Kagome of her kindness, but it had been a very rough night. She had barely slept at all, and when she had been able to get any rest, it was on frazzled nerves. Draping her naked body over a certified killer wasn't exactly the best way to relax, in her educated opinion.
She bent slightly to berate him, though his attention remained on his footwear.
"Have you ever felt love for anyone besides yourself?" She demanded. "Do you think anyone has ever loved you? Inuyasha has experienced both."
When he finally graced her with his attention once more, the cruel smile at his lips returned full force. And something in his violet eyes had her paralyzed with anticipatory dread.
He turned the tables; firing back a few rhetoricals of his own.
"Has Inuyasha known what your breasts feel like pressed intimately against his naked body?"
She recoiled instantly at the bold question, far too startled by it to respond. He relished her embarrassment.
"Has he experienced how wet you become? Laying on top of him, as you try unsuccessfully to keep your desire for him in check?" He rose now to meet her terrified features with his taunting ones. He knew how badly she had wanted him last night. Just the memory of it made his stomach turn.
He also knew that the hanyou had never taken her. Never even tried. For if he had, he surely could have experienced her by now.
"Has he known how your timid, inexperienced hands feel as they caress every inch of him? The softness of your virgin body, pressed tightly against his hard, throbbing cock?"
He got closer, and lowered to a near whisper. "Does he know how easily you climax, when coaxed by his own skilled fingers?"
She didn't want to look at him, but she was too shocked to look away. Incredulous, and unmoving, in the face of his harsh, if not accurate assessment.
His smirk returned passive, as he turned from her once again.
"It would seem that I know more than he in that regard."
He was cold, and ruthless. And she was instantly made painfully aware of that fact. Whatever progress she had thought they had made in his rescue had been removed in the blink of an eye; as he reminded her of his true nature with devastating precision. And he continued, attempting to dig in further.
"Yes. We both know the love he has enjoyed at the hands of the clay priestess. The love he held for her. The love he still holds. You believe his feelings for you have nothing to do with your resemblance?"
His words were calculated. Intentional. His motive was to level her with that which would cause her the most anguish. Stick in the sorest of spots. He knew her weaknesses, her insecurities. And he zeroed in on them unforgivingly, and relentlessly. Still, he did not stop.
"She was not his first. Did he tell you that?" She hugged herself tighter, as she allowed him to continue on with his brutal assault.
"This One recalls a demoness in Inuyasha's youth. How she lamented his inability to give her pleasure as he blindly rooted beneath her clothing. How grateful she was to finally find release as I mercifully took her."
Her own self-pity was forgotten at the mention of her friend's plight. She felt awful for him in that moment, and her sorrow for Inuyasha only barely outshined her fury at his cruel older brother.
"You stole Inuyasha's girlfriend?"
"I stole nothing," he scoffed, a bit more insistent than he intended. He corrected himself quickly, adopting his mocking tone once more.
"She gave herself to me. She longed to feel pleasure at my hands. She begged for it." Kagome's glare hardened as she forced herself to meet his eyes. He answered her unspoken question with disgusted amusement.
"I had no desire for her, and I considered it a gift to lend her my pity. She expressed great relief at knowing my touch."
She wanted to set him straight. To tell him exactly what she thought of his 'touch.' But she refused to be goaded into childish, hurtful taunting. She wasn't cruel like he was. She only managed to partially force down her upset, and responded through her teeth.
"If you didn't want her, then why did you take her?" she at least attempted to understand.
He was trying to make her jealous. But all she could feel was sadness on her friend's behalf.
"Because she belonged to my brother. I will take everything he considers to be his." He took a meaningful pause to intensify his gaze. "Everything."
He was trying to scare her. He wanted her fear. She refused to give it to him. He knew her soft spots, but she also knew his. She strengthened her resolve as she stiffly replied.
"Let me venture a guess."
He was displeased that her tone adopted a measure of mockery. "No demoness would be willing to lower herself to lie with a human. No matter how attractive he may be."
He wanted to sneer at her assessment, but he would not react. He allowed her to continue. He welcomed her hatred. This was how it should be.
And she didn't disappoint. She taunted him passionlessly.
"If you ever want to now pleasure again, you had better learn to be nice to human women. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed yourself in your hand last night. It will be the only pleasure you will receive."
He forced his smirk to remain, but his eyes hardened noticeably. He held no regret in his actions, though he hid his surprise at her acknowledgement. He was certain she had been asleep.
"When you were a demon, you could treat any being however you wished. None could beat you then. But now, you are only human. Even a half breed like Inuyasha could take you down. So you better change your demeanor." He finally turned away from her; his go-to form of dismissal. But she wasn't done. She continued addressing his back.
"You better not run your smart mouth if you don't have the means to defend yourself. That's what happened to your face, isn't it? You couldn't help yourself from insulting those who could out match you."
She would get no response, but talk of his fight reminded her of something else. Something much more important.
"Look. I know you don't like me." His scoff interrupted her, but she would proceed. "And this probably won't shock you; I don't like you much either. But Rin is out there somewhere."
Mention of his ward startled him back to base, and he couldn't prevent the brief panic as he seemed to just remember the little girl in that moment.
"And you may be too much of an ASS to admit it, but I know you care about her."
Kagome's face softened slightly, but lost none of its determination. It was hard to tell, but she thought she saw a softening of his features as well, if only for a second.
"And I know that you hate humans. Allying with us is probably very unappealing to you. But I don't exactly see any of your demon buddies lining up to help you find her."
She was right.
He'd had servants. And soldiers. And even cronies to do his bidding. But that had been before. None knew of his predicament, save for those present in this cave. And the tigers who handed him his punishment.
But even if he had let any of his demon acquaintances know of this undesirable situation- and he absolutely had no intentions of doing so- he doubted any would come to aid him.
He had no friends to speak of. And any who would serve him, would only do so out of fear of him. And he was not one to be feared at the moment.
He was sure that any who would come to his side, would only do so out of fear of what may become of them when his youki was reinstated. If it ever was.
The odds were greater that any demon to find him in this form would take their opportunity to see him vanquished, as the tiger clan had. It would be their only chance to defeat him, and the cowards would take it.
No, he was alone in this; save for Ah-Un and Jaken. At least, he used to be.
For whatever reason, despite all that has happened, this miko would offer all that she could for him.
No, not for him. For Rin.
For Rin, she would swallow her contempt, and render her aid.
And as much as he loathed it, for Rin, he would accept. He had no other choice.
Because he knew, that alone, he would not be able to save her. Not anymore.
"You want to be a jerk? Fine. You gotta live with yourself. But Rin needs our help. And if I'm going to be able to help you, you are going to have to work with me."
She rounded on him then, demanding his full attention.
"Can you do that? Can you check your fucking attitude long enough to find your little girl? Because I care about her too. I would work with the devil himself if it would get her home safe. So please, for her sake, spare me the evil brother routine. She needs you. And you may not like it, but you need me. You need all of us. And we are going to help you. For her."
Again, she was right. He wished it wasn't so. But she was.
If he wanted to get to Rin quickly, he would have to acquire some help. And it appeared at the moment, the miko was all he had.
Sesshoumaru held Kagome's commanding stare a long moment.
Finally, and resignedly, he simply nodded once.
Relieved, she let out a pent-up sigh, and turned to face the mouth of the cave.
The blizzard was finally over, and the sun was beginning to improve the temperature dramatically.
Soon, they could take their leave.
The sound of his stomach growling drew her attention back from the outside. She kept her comments to herself about that being the only growling he was likely now capable of.
She made her way back over to her yellow pack, and returned brandishing two granola bars for them each. Her arm remained suspended as she handed him his ration, as he made no move to receive her generous offer.
"I do not eat human food."
Another, more insistent growl from him elicited her smirk.
"You do now."
Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed the bars harshly and without thanks.
But when he wrested the first one from its packaging and tested the edge, it was not a moment more before it was consumed in entirety, and he was on to the next.
She expected no gratitude from him, but was pleased with her progress none the less.
She had a feeling that when it came to Sesshoumaru, she was going to need to find solace in small victories.