Sesshoumaru frowned as he noticed the miko determinedly making her way over to him. Each purposeful step she crunched into the receding snow caused the foreboding in his being to increase exponentially. She was the last person he wanted to see at the moment.
Ever since his raunchy dream that morning, he had been doing his best to avoid contact, and when it was unavoidable, he kept his comments clipped and icy, so as to dissuade her from prolonging the encounter any more than was necessary.
He didn't know why he expected that to work. It was the same tactic he had employed ever since the two had first become acquainted. And it had never worked back then either.
It had with every other soul he had ever encountered, but not with her. For some reason, the miko remained immune to his cruelty and stand-offishness.
She seemed to pick up on the displeasure he was doing his damnedest to project. Because though her steps never faltered, he noted the increasing apprehension in her features the closer she got to him.
But, par for the course, her determination won out, and he realized she wouldn't be frightened off. He would have liked to believe it was his humanity which inspired such courage in the woman, but her audacious tenacity in response to his constant threat was admittedly nothing new.
The image of her riding his cock was still very fresh in his mind. The unfortunate dream had occupied his thoughts throughout the morning, but they were absolutely impossible to ignore with her standing right in front of him.
He had seen her face so clearly in his head while he slept. There was no use trying to convince himself it had been anyone else; so he hadn't even attempted it. Lying to himself had never been a skill he had knowingly possessed. In that moment, he wished he had the ability.
And though the memory of her nude body- from both the cave, and from the night before- allowed him to recall her with impeccable accuracy, it wasn't what plagued his thoughts when looking upon her in the flesh.
'Those eyes.'
The passionate need that burned there. The unyielding acceptance. And so uniquely blue.
Though much different now than they had been in his dream, they were quick to draw him back to those intensely charged moments within his slumber.
It was easier to just look away. So he did.
Turning his head slightly, he fixed his gaze onto one of his many chosen spots on the distant horizon. When she stood before him awaiting acknowledgement, she would not receive it. Just as expected.
She kept her annoyance at his rudeness under rein. It was nothing she wasn't accustomed to. Besides, she was here to ask a favor, and Sesshoumaru did not take kindly to disrespect. Actually, he didn't take kindly to most anything.
And for some reason, despite her unusually submissive demeanor toward him today, he was being especially short with her this morning.
But she was becoming increasingly familiar with the ex-dog demon's infuriating dismissal. It had been somewhat irksome before, but now, it was just offensive.
It took all she had from going off on him right there, and demanding he explain himself for his unpleasant behavior in the face of her undeserving accommodation.
When she realized he would not acknowledge her arrival, she decided to speak to the side of his head. She had not come down here for nothing, after all.
"I was thinking," she began, and thought to demur to his- obviously pressing- schedule. "if you have the time, maybe we can practice those kata moves you said you would show me."
With chores all done and hours to kill, she decided it was as good as time as any to take him up on his unprecedented kindness, in his offer to show her some of his formations.
Kagome believed that everyone had their strengths, and Sesshoumaru's were of a physical nature. At least, they had been.
But this was probably her best chance to get his watered-down version of skills fit for a human. She'd decided she better take advantage of the opportunity while she had the chance.
He answered faster than she expected, though he had still not seen fit to regard her openly.
In fact, she was rather surprised he had responded at all. Though she couldn't help but assume his quick reply had everything to do with his desire to be through with this exchange as soon as possible.
"I have already practiced today."
And he had. He preferred to start his day off training his body as best as he was able. As a demon who required almost no sleep, he still chose the wee hours of the early morning to train with his famous and formidable weapons. The ones he once had.
Sunrise was superior for many reasons, but the solitude he enjoyed while the rest of the world slept may have been his favorite benefit. Though he had never been one to keep in the company of others, his youkai senses made him more than aware of every being within a reasonable distance, and he took great pleasure in his ability to act and exist beneath their notice. Despite his overwhelming and intimidating presence, he was a master of stealth.
He found his current- and constant- proximity to others quite unreasonable. But he was incredibly resilient. He would make do with what best was available to him.
Of course, she didn't need to know that he often took to his training several times throughout the day; or that he had even been considering leaving to do exactly that right before she had approached him.
But now, it appeared that he couldn't. Not alone, anyhow. This woman was impossible to shake.
"Come on, you're just sitting there," she accurately accused. "Aren't you bored?"
Boredom couldn't begin to define how he had felt in this camp while awaiting his brother's long-suffering recovery. But with how things had progressed, he found that boredom was an acceptable alternative to the discomfort he felt in tallying and assessing his current social woes.
When she got no response, she continued her plea.
"You can take 20 minutes to just show me a few basics. After that, I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day. I promise."
A tempting offer. She was learning quite well how to persuade him.
But even 20 minutes seemed like a life sentence at present. What he needed now was space; from her in particular. And plenty of it.
He continued to avoid looking her way as he answered.
"Not now, miko. I haven't the patience for you at the moment."
The lack of snow crunching beneath her feet told him that she wasn't moving
He didn't know why he wasn't being crueler, to encourage her retreat. And he could not fathom the relief he felt when she didn't immediately respond with upset.
He had prepared himself for her incredulous outrage. But she surprised him again with the softness in her tone.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Something about her insecurity inspired an unwelcome discomfort in his chest, but he pushed it aside to drudge up an answer for her.
Existing in his presence seemed like an egregious enough offense at the moment. But as he racked his brain for a sufficient slight, he came up empty.
In fact, the usually disrespectful and inappropriate woman had been uncharacteristically meek today.
Figures. The one time he needed an excuse to be cross with her.
But he was Sesshoumaru. He was unaccustomed to requiring a reason to do anything.
"You've been particularly pissy with me all day. I was just wondering if I had done something to deserve it."
Her voice was sturdy, and sure. And she had a reason to be. She wasn't wrong.
He supposed it wasn't her fault that he had dreamed about her.
Well, she could have dressed herself sooner last night when he watched her in the hut. But then, he really shouldn't have been watching her in the first place.
He was going to find a way to get even with that lecherous monk.
But he couldn't tell her the real reason he wished to avoid her. So, when an acceptable excuse popped into his head, he finally turned his gaze on her, making a point to focus on her forehead, and not those distracting blue depths.
"Is it not possible that I simply am having difficulties with my new form?" he tried, appealing to her compassionate nature. It seemed to strike a chord, so he quickly continued on.
"I require a bit of time for personal reflection, yet you somehow assume my demeanor has everything to do with you. Such vanity."
There. That should do it.
This woman had an annoying habit of inserting herself in the dealings of everyone she came in contact with.
She took it upon herself to try to find a way to help even those who didn't wish for it.
He surmised that the miko must garner some personal satisfaction in feeling she was able to make a difference in the lives of others. It must be how she obtained her worth.
So really, her generosity was a very self-serving act. Sesshoumaru refused to play into her hand. None would receive any enjoyment from attempting to assist him in any way. He refused to give them the satisfaction.
But as his accusation seemed to land, the falling of her features for some reason caused a heavy ache throughout his form. He wanted to stop her before she responded, yet he could not. He wasn't sure if she was too quick in her reaction, or if he was too hesitant in his recant.
"You're right."
Her sorrowful agreement was not what he was expecting. But she seemed to realize what she was doing, even though he kind of made it up on the fly.
Regret was a strange and unfamiliar reaction for him. He marveled at how the look on her face was an accurate representation of how he himself currently felt. Though he was much better at containing it. In contrast, she didn't appear to even be trying.
This woman wore her substantial heart on her sleeve.
And though it was not an intelligent move on the battlefield, he couldn't help but feel like he was the fool, for being the only of the two to be working to hide his emotions from the other.
Why did he seem concerned with masking his discomfort, when she did not? Was it simply because he was far better than she with matters of strategy? What use did strategy have in matters such as this?
She hid nothing. She was laid bare. It was a foolish thing to expose one's self so to their opponent.
But they were not opponents. Not anymore. Not now, anyway.
His stoic mask had always been considered a great skill. Why now, with this vexing young woman, did he feel the lesser for keeping himself from her view?
Why did he have so much to hide, when she appeared to hide nothing?
But with her, he did not feel deficient in his demonic abilities to dissect another's motives though his heightened senses alone.
For he had no need to. Everything this miko felt and thought were plain as day. Exposed, unbidden, by way of her aura and facial expressions. When he looked at her, he felt as if he could read her mind. But not because he was all knowing or all powerful. It was at her allowance. She concealed nothing. And his ability to discern every thought and motive made him feel even more capable than when he had his awesome strengths readily at his disposal.
All she gave was all that he needed. There was nothing duplicitous about this woman. And just for a moment, he felt like himself again. But it had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with her.
And yet, he allowed nothing. Gave her nothing to work with. That was his intention, after all.
How must it feel for her? If he felt so comfortable in knowing her every emotion, so freely offered, did it mean that she felt equally as terrible, in being unable to discern anything about him? But that was the point. That was what he wanted.
For some reason, it was not at all a pleasing thought.
And all the while, the regret and sorrow on her features persisted. He suppressed yet another action- a frown. For he knew she would speak. And he somehow knew her words would displease him.
"You must be going through so much," she forced her gaze from the ground to regard him bravely in the eyes. He knew she wished to shy away. He was an intimidating presence to endure. But yet, she did. "but all I have been thinking about all day is how your attitude has been making me feel."
That was good, wasn't it?
He should be satisfied. It worked. He got her out of his hair, and even removed that sparkle from her eye in the process.
That magnetic, captivating sparkle, that he was definitely not supposed to be looking at...
So why did his little victory feel so hollow?
Perhaps it was the fib. Sesshoumaru didn't lie. Yet it was a habit he seemed to be adopting more often as of late. And not one he was particularly proud of. He should be doing and acting as he pleased, and making no apologies for how others perceived it.
"I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru," she offered further. She was giving him exactly what he wanted, yet her acquiescence was like a blade through his gut. Her resigned self-loathing was yet another feeling that made itself overly clear on her soft features. And he wanted it gone.
"I'll leave you alone." She forced a tight smile. He didn't know which of them it was for.
"Just know that if I am doing anything to upset you, you can tell me about it. I might not realize that I am offending you, so we can talk about it, and I'll do what I can to correct it. Okay?"
Stay out of my dreams? Maybe cover yourself more appropriately?
There was nothing she could do, short of staying out of his sight. But he conceded, that her absence hadn't prevented him from thinking about her anyway. Even if it only was to curse her existence, and attempt to discover why it had happened in the first place.
Something was stuck in his throat. Though he didn't know what, he had a burning desire to fix- whatever it was he seemed to break in the girl. But he couldn't get it out.
She sadly turned, intending to leave him, when his brother appeared from out of nowhere to stop her retreat. He could never recall being so relieved to have the half breed in his presence.
'Good. The hanyou is her keeper. She is his duty now.'
Throwing Sesshoumaru a brief, assessing glance for good measure, Inuyasha turned his focus on Kagome.
Startled at first, her mood changed on the turn of a dime, and a wide, genuine smile stretched itself across her gentle features. She looked incredibly relieved. For some reason, he felt the same way.
"Hey, Kagome. I'm feeling good enough to finally take a dip in the hot springs. I really need a wash."
No argument there.
The smell of the snake's poison dispelling itself from his body emitted a foul odor that was discernable even with mortal senses.
Until now, Sesshoumaru decided that the only upside to his lack of scent was that he didn't have to endure the putrid smell of humans in constant decay. Worst of all, his hanyou brother.
"But I'm all out of that shampoo you bought me. You think I can borrow yours?"
She hid her annoyance once again.
She was just in the future. He should have said something. But she decided not to scold him. In fact, she was more than a little eager to have some time alone with him. The hours she had spent with him in her hut had been mostly while he was unconscious, sleeping off his terrible wound.
"Sure! Just let me go get it."
She made to leave quickly, but his hands on her biceps stopped her in her tracks.
"That's okay. I can just go take it from your hut if that's alright with you. I think Sango is in there to find it for me."
Sango was in the hut, which was a reason Kagome was not.
She was still upset for her friend's interference with the Sesshoumaru debacle, and Kagome was giving the woman her space.
If she knew how badly her advice would have affected her, she would have just left it alone.
Maybe she should just tell him to go for it after all.
She shook off her confusion at Inuyasha's suggestion to make one of her own.
A sly smile overcame her features, and now it was Inuyasha's turn to look confused.
"Tell you what. I can go change really quick and I'll join you." His eyes widened slightly, causing her to blush at how it sounded. She elaborated, backpedaling a bit.
"You are still looking pretty stiff. I bet you'd like some help washing your hair."
When his injuries called for it, Kagome would often assist her friend in bathing.
Mangled arms and hands made washing his long hair especially difficult. And though her hot spring time was typically reserved to share with Sango, she would occasionally throw on her swim suit and join the guys as well. When the situation called for it.
But girl time had been put on hold for the time being. And she was finding herself very eager to come up with ways to get closer to the boy she had been crushing on for years.
She seemed to never get the moment right.
"No, that's okay." Her hopeful face fell. His refusal was like a punch in the gut.
Why didn't he seem like he wanted to spend any time with her? Wouldn't most guys jump at the chance to be in a hot spring with a nearly naked girl? She was wishing he was more like Miroku at the moment. There was a man who would never turn down an opportunity like this.
Was she really that unappealing? It seemed like no one wanted to be around her lately. She was starting to get self-conscious.
Inuyasha seemed to notice his error, and squeezed her arms reassuringly in his hands.
"I'm feeling much better now, really. I was kind of hoping to just relax on my own for a bit."
His explanation did little to cure her sadness, but she did her best to appear otherwise. That tight smile returned.
"Oh. Okay," she said softly, and not at all confidently.
She supposed she should be happy. If he was well enough to start moving around on his own, then he must be getting better. With his rapid healing abilities, the chance for embarking on their mission to find Rin soon seemed like a good one. Sesshoumaru would be pleased.
But when she chanced a look at the man watching the entire exchange from his spot under the tree, she could have sworn all she saw was disapproval in his countenance.
It caused her to glitch for a moment. He was so silent and still, she had almost forgotten he was there.
He was probably annoyed that they were interrupting his peaceful brooding.
But she tore her gaze from him to regard Inuyasha again, who had just released her from his grasp.
"Well, how about you come find me when you are done?" she suggested, hope returning to her pleading eyes. "We can take a walk together. We haven't had some time just you and me in forever."
With all that had been going on lately, they had barely had a moment to themselves- when he wasn't sleeping.
She missed him. Did he feel the void of her absence, as she did with him?
"It's probably better if I don't push it. I think I'm just gonna relax tonight. Do you mind?"
Maybe he didn't feel it. He sure didn't seem at all interested in being with her right now.
But perhaps she was taking it too personally.
Sesshoumaru had just gotten through berating her for taking the actions of others and making it all about her. Maybe he was just tired. He was recovering from a very nasty injury after all. She should just take people at face value, and stop being so sensitive. It wasn't personal.
But it still didn't make her feel any better about it.
"Whatever you think is best," she finally relented with a sigh. She waved her hand in the direction of her hut exhaustedly. "Yeah, you can borrow my shampoo. Go ahead and take it. Sango knows where it is."
A grateful smile was her reward. "Thanks."
And in a flash of red and silver, he was gone.
As soon as he was, she deflated a bit, and finally continued her interrupted exit.
What was she going to do now?
Maybe she could try her hand at talking to Sango again.
Then again, maybe she could just take that walk on her own.
"Meet me in the clearing."
That smooth, commanding voice halted her in her tracks. How did he do that? Demand obedience so seamlessly, and effectively.
"What?"
She turned to find him standing now, brushing the dirt from his clothing.
He was still looking away, but his words were aimed right at her.
"Do you not wish to practice the kata?"
He didn't know why he did it.
Watching the exchange between she and his brother was incredibly off-putting.
The boy knew how she felt about him. He was certain that was why he refused her offer for company.
He didn't want to lead her on. But he really should have a more direct conversation with the miko.
She obviously wasn't taking the hint. It seemed a cruel thing to do to a packmate. To allow them to believe something you know not to be true.
Why was he putting this off? Couldn't he see it was only going to get worse for them?
Maybe the hanyou liked the attention she gave him. It was possible he wanted to enjoy her infatuation to inflate his very damaged ego. It was a shameful thing for an alpha to do.
Or, perhaps, he simply was being a coward about it.
He cared about the girl, that much was clear. When he finally informed her that he did not return her affections, she was going to be hurt. It was unavoidable.
Sesshoumaru considered that maybe he should do it himself. He could put an end to this poor girl's torment right now, by informing her of their previous conversation.
It would cause her some brief anguish, but in the long run, she would be better off for it.
Again, it was on the tip of his tongue. Caught in the back of his throat, with no hopes of escaping.
Not when those shining blue orbs finally brightened once again; the gratitude a welcome change from the despair they held only moments before. This time, her smile was not forced, or tight.
Maybe he would tell her later. For now, he would allow her a moment of respite.
She took a step toward him.
"I'll just come with you."
"No," he insisted firmly, causing her brow to crinkle. She thought he had changed his mind for a moment. But the disapproving up and down he gave her had her feeling very scandalized.
"You will change into something more appropriate. I will not accept any limiting attire as an excuse for not accomplishing your stances properly. Now, make haste."
She wanted to bite back at his rudeness, but she couldn't find it in her.
He was giving her what she wanted, and she decided not to push her luck.
Besides, he had a point. Her skirt would do her no favors when trying to learn her new moves.
She had just the thing. Her smile never faltered.
"Okay. I'll be there in 10 minutes."
He nodded in agreement, and she raced back to her hut.
With an audible sigh once out of her presence, he turned, and made his way to their agreed upon destination.
He forced his mind to blank. He only hoped he could keep it that way.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
The yoga pants she donned were a vast improvement. They allowed her freedom of movement, without exposing so much skin to anyone willing to look.
Though the way they plastered against her curves still left very little to the imagination.
A section of the clearing had been scraped of the snow already; a task taken on by himself previously, to kill time and offer more steady ground to practice within. It had served as his own personal mini-dojo.
He hadn't been kept waiting long, and he wasted little time in getting started with his improvised lesson plan.
The 20 minutes she had quoted him had long since passed, though he didn't seem to mind the session running longer.
For a guy with a famous lack of tolerance in every other facet of his existence, Sesshoumaru was a remarkably patient instructor.
He seemed to have an endless capacity for understanding when it came to the abilities and limitations of a novice, which was the opposite of what Kagome had been expecting.
She was prepared to endure his mockery and insults; his exhaustion at wasting his precious time and energy on one who could not very quickly grasp what he was so generously explaining to her.
But instead, he endured her lack of grace and poise with amazing forbearance.
When she made a mistake, he would step in, and correct her firmly, yet gently, before retreating and insisting she attempt again.
It reminded Kagome of how one might teach a child something they had never learned before, but were eager to attempt.
Somehow, she doubted that he employed these same methods when training his soldiers to battle in his armies.
But perhaps this was more akin to how he may show Rin how to do something she was excited to try, but that he understood was far simpler for him to execute.
And as he demonstrated his moves, he effortlessly explained each pose, and what she should be doing to achieve them. For added benefit, he also threw in helpful metaphors here and there to aid her in understanding why and how each stance was performed; as if trying to help forge the connections in her brain which would aid her in remembering each purposeful transition.
As frustrating as it was to continually fail in her attempts, his calm, silky voice washed over her nerves and helped anchor her to her task.
But his tone worked too well in commanding her attention. For, several times she found herself marveling at the way he captivated her focus, to the point of actually distracting her from the words he was saying.
"Are you listening, miko?"
Caught once again, she blushed, and offered a sheepish nod.
He forced a small frown, and his determination to continue inspired her own.
"Again."
They had been through the simple routine several times now. It was a basic set of steps, each punctuated with a different punch or block, combined with a purposeful turn or pose.
Each position required a bit of multitasking, contemplating the next move while executing the current one.
And though she was sure it would become second nature to a seasoned pro like him, she had to put a great deal of thought into training her muscles to move in the unfamiliar pattern.
She had gotten the first three down well enough, but she kept biffing it on the fourth. The transition involved a sudden spin, accompanied by a strike down to the side that seemed anything but natural to her untrained body; not that he didn't make it look seamless in his various demonstrations.
After failing yet again, she let out a frustrated huff, and broke from her pose to adopt a very undisciplined stance, causing him to straighten in resignation.
"This one is too hard. I'm never going to get it."
He lifted his chin condescendingly.
"I have never known you to accept defeat so easily."
She huffed again, and he continued.
"Even when battling This Sesshoumaru - where your success actually was impossible- you would not allow yourself to concede defeat."
She knew he was baiting her. But she simply couldn't resist. When the Western Lord offered himself up so easily, she could do naught but pounce on the opportunity to knock him down a peg.
"Impossible, huh?" she questioned defiantly. "I seem to remember a certain dog demon leaving one of those battles with noticeably less appendages than he came in with."
Such blatant disrespect could earn her nothing but a threatening glare. But unlike her, he refused to be riled. And the sly smirk she offered, for some reason, caused him to fight with some difficulty to keep his own at bay.
"You mean to take credit for the hanyou's hard earned victory?"
She hid her shock at the easy admission. She didn't think he had ever attributed Inuyasha's successful attack against him as a win the boy had earned. It had always been a lucky shot, or a lapse in his own estimation of his brother's strength.
She had the feeling that in admitting such a thing to her, he was likely admitting it for the first time to himself. Out loud, at least.
But then again, he was trying to get results. He seemed to be coming more aware of what buttons to push to get her to respond in the way he wanted her to.
But luckily, so did she.
"Well, who pulled the sword in the first place?"
Her taunting smirk faltered as he closed the distance between them with a menacing step forward. His hardened gaze elicited a sharp intake of breath from the priestess, and it took all she had to not stumble backwards at his looming advance.
His promise not to kill her had been the only thing keeping her in place. But when he got close enough to touch, the hint of a sparkle in his eye betrayed his amusement, and renewed her confidence in her uncanny ability to survive dangerous situations. Not to mention her confidence that the old demon lord appeared to only be attempting to bring out her talents.
But the edge in his voice gave no room for argument.
"Again."
She began to obey, and he stood back to assess her. But once she took her first stance, she let herself relax again, and fixed him with a pleading look.
"Can you show me one more time?"
His eyes narrowed.
"I have already demonstrated several times. Now you must emulate."
Totally breaking form, she took a step toward him, and clasped her hands together. Her voice adopted an overly sweet tone.
"Please, just let me see it again. I just want to watch how you get into that fourth stance."
When he seemed to consider her request, she boldly stepped even closer still. And in a stunning act of true bravery, she placed a gentle hand upon his forearm. His gaze immediately drew to the spot where they touched, though he made no move to pull away.
"Let me watch the expert. I want to see perfection."
He lifted his eyes to her again, and gave an exaggerated lift of his eyebrow at her obvious pandering.
"You think to flatter me into complying?"
Her smile was wide, and shameless.
"It's never failed before."
His responding glare was unamused. But regardless, he stepped away from her touch, and got himself into position.
Very pleased with herself, she stepped back to watch the captivating sight.
Her smile did not waver, until he finally began.
She became awestruck at his fluid, effortless motions.
Quickly, smoothly, and without error, Sesshoumaru performed the routine she had been struggling with for damn near an hour.
But though she felt inadequate in comparison, she couldn't help but consider herself privileged to behold such a sight.
She was certain that many who had witnessed Sesshoumaru making such movements had met their deaths not long after.
When he hit the last mark with a customary bow, she nearly crumbled.
"So unfair. That was flawless!"
He inspected himself for dirt specks as he relaxed his form. He would find none.
"I have had centuries to perfect my form as it is now. It is impossible for a novice such as you to attain such a thing so quickly. Such things take time, and dedication."
He began to return to her side, but was stopped at her thoughtless utterance.
"I just wish I could skip over all the years of grueling training, and get right to the part where I'm graceful."
"Foolish."
The hard edge to his tone caused her to falter.
Their somewhat playful exchange was extinguished in an instant. And the narrowing of his eyes stopped her dead in her tracks. He tilted his head.
The dark, dangerous way his aura swirled around him then warned her to tread very lightly.
"Do you wish to know why your race is so weak?"
She defiantly refused to divert her eyes.
"I'm sure you are going to tell me."
"You want everything handed to you," he spat disdainfully. He seemed to be reminded in an instant why humans were so inadequate in comparison to his own kind.
"You would like the world placed at your feet, yet you are unwilling to put forth the effort; commit the time, and energy, and discipline it takes to achieve such greatness."
When he advanced on her, every muscle in her body screamed at her to back away. She wasn't sure if it was fear or bravery which kept her feet rooted to the ground.
"You think to blink your eyes, and have all of your desires come to fruition without lifting a finger to earn it."
He stopped himself before he got too close. A sneer played at his lips.
"You are so shortsighted, that you do not even realize that the things you desire- they are not what will offer you worth."
Her ire at his dressing down lessened somewhat. It seemed like he was correcting her again, like he had during her routine. His desire that she improve was more apparent than his blatant distaste in her race, though it was difficult to discern from the way he was scolding.
His frame remained hard, and looming. But his violet human eyes softened in that moment.
"It is not the end result that makes you strong, but the path which you take. The road to perfection is never-ending, and arduous. But it is on that path which you discover how to achieve all that you will ever need; could ever want. That is where character is built."
He was still speaking at her. But he appeared to be turning noticeably inward as he continued.
He was speaking to himself, of his own experience. And though he appeared to know exactly what he was talking about, she couldn't help but feel that these particular epiphanies were quite new to him as well.
"Performing a perfect kata routine does not make you any stronger or more formidable. But pushing yourself, demanding more, desiring improvement... these things show you how to achieve everything you wish; grant you the knowledge of what you are capable."
His dilated pupils finally focused once more, as if he suddenly remembered there was another person in the vicinity. She was the lucky being who won the aim of his gaze.
"Youkai understand this. Understand the sacrifices one must make. Unlike pathetic humans, who only wish for the world on a silver platter."
The way his lip curled in disgust drew her from her stupor. Fists clenched at her sides, and she reflected the defiance in his eyes.
"You don't know what you're talking about," she insisted confidently. "I've fought off countless demons who were after the jewel in hopes of making all their wishes come true, just like that. Where is the sacrifice in that?"
He bared his blunt human teeth at the perceived insinuation.
"I have never desired that jewel."
"I know." She was slightly taken aback. It was unlike Sesshoumaru to completely miss the point. To need further explanation. "You understand that there is no victory in having your desires just handed to you. You are one of the only ones."
Maybe even the only one. Every demon she had ever encountered- even friendly ones- had initially come after her with Shikon shaped pupils in their eyes. But not him.
He never needed the jewel. Never even wanted it. To him, such an acquisition would be a blow to his towering pride. Would insinuate that he needed any aid at all, beyond that which he already possessed, to become the most powerful demon alive.
Whatever he would acquire, would be gained by his own strength and fortitude.
Even accepting his father's blade was unacceptable to him now.
"But you can't lump yourself in with the rest of your kind. Just because you have integrity, it doesn't mean all youkai are like you."
Her easy acknowledgment of his deep-rooted ethics caused him pause.
Yes, he always knew he was far beyond other youkai in respect to his principled convictions.
But he was surprised that a human would ever accept that a demon could behave as such. Let alone admit it aloud.
To most humans, demons were considered mindless, amoral beasts. And he could not disagree that often times they were correct.
But those he existed beside- those he was raised by- where a cut above the rest of his species.
He often forgot that many demons out there were no more honorable than the mortals they claimed such disdain for.
But in that moment, it seemed that the miko did not wear the same blinders in regards to her own race. In fact, she seemed quite aware of humanity's many shortcomings.
He supposed, that being in love with a half demon would allow for shades of grey to appear in such departments.
She adopted a ferocity then that commanded his elusive attention.
Even though she meant to defy him, he could not find it in him to interrupt.
"And just because humans aren't willing to earn their stripes, it doesn't mean I'm like them."
With renewed resolve, she moved back into the starting position.
"Stripes?"
At his lifted eyebrow, she only shook her head.
"Never mind. Let's start from the top."
He was pleased at her determination, and he simply moved aside to let her dive right back into her routine.
But when she blew the fourth stance yet again, he finally decided to step in.
With a speed quite impressive for his human body, he was behind her in an instant.
By the time the 'eep' escaped her, his right hand had ahold of her right wrist. He bent it at the elbow, and crossed it to press her fist against her opposite shoulder.
Then, using the force of his offending arm, he pulled her back flush with his torso, and leaned to speak very clearly in her ear.
"You keep trying to turn before you block. Block first."
To demonstrate, he pulled her wrist down to lock her elbow straight at her side. She could do nothing but mindlessly allow it.
He bent her arm again to repeat the motion.
"Keep your elbow still." He reached his left arm around her body now; and placed his fingers gently inside her elbow, to remind her to keep it in place. "Only move your fist as you strike down."
He moved her again.
She was about to try it herself, but his confident hand moving to her left hip stopped her cold.
"Then turn."
He adjusted her hip forward, while using his own- which were pressed into her very firmly now- to guide her in turning to the side.
She was speechless; unable to form words or thoughts as the Killing Perfection cradled her body with his own, and used himself as a template to guide her through the motions.
But she followed as he put them back into position, and showed her the whole move at once.
He moved her wrist down once again, and immediately followed up by moving her hip- still held in place by his hand- and using the force of his own pelvis to turn her.
"Do you see?" His voice was very low, and very soft.
The shock of his actions kept them both painfully still. And she became very aware of the feeling his pounding heart made at her back; perhaps a bit faster than it should have been.
Though her own heartbeat within her chest had increased its speed as well.
Was that why her knees suddenly became less stable?
She soon realized she'd had a very long moment to consider such things.
The move had been completed. Then demonstration should have been over.
But instead of releasing her, he used his grasp around her wrist to cross her arm over her chest again, and hold her tightly against him.
His grip on her hip had lessened, but he still had not moved his hand. And he just... held her there.
The heat radiating from his rigid form was in stark contrast to the chilly winter air. It felt welcoming, beckoning her closer with unspoken promises to keep her snug, and secure.
She could faintly make out his heavy breathing- as his lips were still right beside her ear- but she was so distracted by the proximity- and his hands on her person- that she barely registered it.
She should move. She should step away. But all she could think was how nice he felt pressed against her like this. How nice it felt to be held by him. It was a safe, comforting feeling, which exuded protection, and assurance.
She wondered if he felt it too. He certainly wasn't moving. He seemed almost... reluctant? Perhaps even needy...
Many long moments had passed before she vaguely realized he had asked her a question. Maybe he was simply waiting for an answer.
She only moved her neck; turning her head towards him, and tussling her hair in her own face even more as she did so, as several thick strands were trapped hopelessly between them.
As she turned, her hairs brushed his cheek too; he was so close. And she didn't realize until she intended to speak, that her own breathing had become heavy as well.
"Yes," she replied, more breathily than she had intended.
Nodding, he finally released her. As he slowly backed away, she only remained still.
He turned and stepped a few paces away before stopping. She didn't realize until she turned, and cleared some locks from her face, that he appeared to be gathering himself.
But she could only see his back.
She couldn't stop the next request from forcing their way past her uncertain lips.
"Do you... think you could show me again?"
She was mortified as soon as she said it. But she wouldn't take it back.
She had been very distracted by his nearness. But she didn't completely feel the need for another demonstration. She just wanted to feel that feeling again. To be close to someone. To feel wanted.
He was silent for a moment, seeming to think it over. But he didn't turn as he answered.
"It is enough for today. This One has some clothing he must wash."
The proximity had given him a painful reminder of the chore he had earned himself earlier that morning.
"Oh," she remembered, breaking from her daze. "If it's about your shirt, I managed to finally get the blood out. It's drying on the clothesline. It should be ready by tomorrow."
When he began removing his inner haori, she froze still again.
He peeled it off his body quickly, exposing pale skin and perfect muscle to her starving gaze.
He finally turned slowly, and looked her in the eye.
"This needs washing. As well as a few other things."
He supposed he didn't need to make such a show of it. But he had no desire to explain why he suddenly needed to wash his clothes. Seeing as he had little to his name, he wanted to show her a believable diversion from his true intent.
"You could have given them to me earlier," she scolded, earning a slight shrug. "Would you like me to help you?"
He responded quietly.
"No. You have done enough."
Now that he was facing her, his bandaged shoulder stole her attention.
She had helped him clean and cover it in the cave. But ever since then, she had been too busy to follow up with him. She supposed it was time for a checkup.
"Oh, your shoulder."
He looked to it as she approached him.
"Let me have a look."
He allowed her approach. Once to him, she peeled back the bloodied bandage.
"Have you been taking care of it like I told you?"
Her fingers on his skin caused his heart to speed its pace once more. He was forced to do his best yet again to purge the memory of his dream from his thoughts.
"I have kept it clean, and wrapped, as you suggested."
Upon inspection, she accepted his words as truth. It was no longer gaping, though it had to be painful for him.
She hated the thought of him hurting all this time. And what's more, she hated the thought that she had been ignoring his plight, simply because he chose to appear unaffected.
"It is so much better," she marveled, testing her fingers against the wound. Her tender touch sent a course of fuzzy pleasure through his chest, which he pointedly ignored. "We really dodged a bullet with that one."
She removed the bandage completely, and he simply allowed it.
She was the expert here. It was her hut in which the injured sat to recover. As strange as it felt, he would allow her to nurse his wound. It is what pack was for, he supposed. Though he still didn't feel as if he needed such attentions, he conceded that he would do well to follow this human's lead in regards to properly caring for a human's body.
"We can take this off for now. It seems to have closed up, and it needs to breath a bit. Just be careful. And if it opens up again, let me know, and I'll rewrap it for you."
He nodded silently as she raked her gaze over his form. She appeared to be assessing his various other- less severe- injuries. She did a poor job in ignoring how the shape of his body pleased her senses in a way she couldn't explain, or understand.
"All the others are looking a lot better too," she informed him, still appreciating him secretly under the guise of tallying injuries. "Just go easy on yourself."
Assessment complete, he prepared to leave for his chore.
"May This One use your washboard?"
She was looking right at his abs when he said it, causing her mind to make obvious comparisons.
'Looks like you have one. I could have been washing clothes on that stomach all this time...'
"Miko?"
With a blush, she shook herself.
"Oh, of course. It's in my hut. Sango should be in there. Just ask her to give it to you."
He wasn't particularly interested in conversing with the slayer. But he certainly wasn't shy about it. He was more surprised that she hadn't offered to go fetch it for him herself. Not that he necessarily needed her to.
"Do you not intend to return?"
She shook her head, and stepped away from him.
"I think I'm gonna stay and practice a little longer."
He looked her up and down, and cocked an accusing eyebrow.
"Do not expect to achieve perfection overnight."
She smiled.
"I know. I'm just going to enjoy the path for a bit longer."
She thought she saw approval in his eyes, before he brushed past her to leave.
But after a few steps, he stopped himself, and turned again.
"Have you anything that needs washing? Something you forgot, perhaps?"
She was confused by his question.
She racked her brain, trying to think of what she could have possibly forgotten, that he had noticed.
Coming up blank, she shrugged in resignation.
"I give up. What?"
Her question earned a confused glance of her own, paired with the dubious narrowing of his eyes.
"I do not know. That is why I asked."
Shock overcame her as realization slowly dawned. Then, she felt awful.
He was only asking. No, he was offering.
It was so out of character, that she never even considered that he would try to do anything nice, or helpful at all.
To be fair, she couldn't think of any other time that he had.
"Uh, no," she stammered out. "But thank you."
Nodding once, he turned again to leave.
"But you can ask the others, they might have something," she suggested as an afterthought; speaking to his retreating, muscular back.
But he did not pause his steps.
He hadn't even considered it. And he realized he still would not.
But he couldn't help by wonder why his offer only extended to her.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That was a close one.
But really, it had been his fault.
He wasn't quite sure what possessed him to hold her so close for so long. But once he had her in his grasp, he had the overwhelming urge to revel in the proximity.
Do all human's desire such nearness from one another?
He was aware that Rin had. He felt guilty in that moment for all the times he had been forced to refuse her attempts at prolonging touch. He had no idea the call was so strong.
But he had never felt it before. It certainly wasn't a need that youkai possessed.
But once she was close, he had only intended to keep her there for a second longer.
And when the appropriate time came to release her from him, his body simply would not obey.
But it did obey another order, and he was much more thankful for that particular act of submission.
He had been forced to discard his fundoshi back at the hut. Soiled as it was from his dream, it was in no condition to be worn.
So the only thing separating him from the miko had been the thin layer of his silk hakama.
The feel of the cool silk pressed against him was an instant reminder of the chore he must see to as quickly as possible.
When pressed against his manhood so tightly by the tiny woman, it took every fiber of his being to prevent him from reacting in a way which she would notice.
He was surprised he was able to contain himself.
With how his body has been behaving as of late, he was grateful that the traitorous appendage finally chose that moment to listen to his pleas to remain dormant. For a moment at least.
As soon as he released her, and turned away, he relaxed enough to let himself stiffen momentarily. Not to full mast, as he was worried he would not be able to get it down before she noticed, but enough to allow his body some of the freedom it desired.
He would have to remember not do indulge in such a thing again.
But thinking back to this morning, he wondered if it was not time for him to finally do something about his unsated lust.
Both his brother and the monk had suggested he take measures to alleviate himself of his burning desires. They suggested he find a woman outside of the village to see to his needs. But, he wondered, why he would do such a thing when he had a willing woman right here?
The miko had advised against laying with the slayer. But really, what harm would it do?
She feared it may cause some unrest within the small group. But Sango's reaction to his refusal seemed to be causing a rift as it was. Not so much with him, but between the women for some reason.
And then there was the matter of Inuyasha's desire.
He wanted the taijiya for himself, but he was too cowardly to make his move.
Sesshoumaru harbored no such fears. And how sweet it would be to take her right out from under him.
He could use her, and discard her, and be able to hold his victory over him for the rest of their lives. Now that his vow prevented him from claiming the life he had pledged to take, he would need to be more creative in giving the hanyou his due.
He may even be doing the boy a favor. It might temper his desire for the girl once his hated brother has had her.
So then, it was settled. And not a moment too soon.
Reminder of the miko pressed against him was awakening his desire anew.
Luckily, Sango was said to be in the hut he was traveling to.
Perhaps a quick rut, then he could head for the stream to wash his soiled clothes. Hopefully, for the last time.
When he knocked, he received no answer.
"Taijiya?"
He pulled the door back, and called her by title again.
Only to find it empty.
She must have gone off to practice with her weapon again. She had been doing that a lot lately.
'Her loss,' he thought with a shrug. He supposed it could wait until later.
But that wasn't going to prevent him from grabbing the washboard he had come for.
After a moment of looking around, he found it resting on the floor, propped against the wall.
He reached to grab it, only to take notice of the ugly yellow monstrosity the miko always took with her during her trips through the well sitting right beside it.
He was very curious of the thing. It always held so many strange, and unknown items of which he was unaware. Things from a time where he had never been. 'Yet.'
Without hesitation, he pulled open the zipper, and reached inside.
It was mostly empty. She had unpacked most of her things upon her return. Mostly items for himself, and food and supplies for the rest of them.
But she had elected to leave a couple of items in the bag, and he wondered why.
The first thing he pulled out was a box.
There was a weight to it, and he noted the strange object portrayed on the top.
He had been able to make out a few words on the cover.
'Massager? Strange.'
He removed the top of the box and took the pink wand-like item to hold in his steady grasp.
After inspecting it a moment, he was able to discern how it worked. With a twist of the base, it started vibrating violently in his grasp.
His shoulder had been killing him ever since that day he chopped all that wood. It was the miko's fault he'd had to perform such a task, so he felt well within his rights to make use of her futuristic massager.
Using one hand, he held the wand over his back and dug the tip very harshly into his aching shoulder blade. After experiencing the buzzing sensation for several seconds, he decided that the item did a rather poor job at alleviating his pain.
What a pity. He had hoped that with 500 years, the humans would have been able to make great strides in various technologies. So far, he was unimpressed.
He turned the item back off, and replaced it in the box, taking to care to be sure it appeared undisturbed.
Placing it back in the bag, he took out the second item.
This was a much lighter box. But this one would not be able to be opened by him without destroying the packaging beyond repair. He shook it, before reading the side.
This box offered much more explanation, and he was taken aback at the insinuation.
'Prevents disease and pregnancy? How, I wonder?'
After reading further, he was enlightened.
As a demon, he had no need for such a thing. His sharp nose could discern a demoness's fertility, as well as hygiene. He had never even considered that a human would have no way of knowing what may befall them while engaging in such acts.
But, he had also always thought that a female would desire to become with child as soon as she was privy to sexual acts. It was very interesting to him that the miko in particular would be planning to have sex simply for pleasure.
He had always considered her very virginal, which was strange for a woman her age.
But Inuyasha had said she was still intact. And with how the boy told him of his feelings, he now knew why.
He almost felt sorry for the poor girl. Did she think that the hanyou would use these items with her?
He wondered briefly if he should offer to engage, but the thought was quickly snuffed out.
He was certain that the woman found him as unsuitable as he found her. Certainly as distasteful.
No. Whatever reactions their bodies were having to one another were not to be acted upon. It was only the result of these weak human's biology. They could hardly stand each other, let alone truly wish to become so familiar.
Putting the box back, and zipping up her bag, he grabbed the washboard and exited the hut.
After the short trip to his own hut to reclaim his discarded clothing, he made his way to the stream to begin his shameful chore.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N: This chapter fought me. But your reviews provided the encouragement I needed to get it finished. So, thank you!
Also, I don't know if Sesshoumaru would be able to read modern japanese, but lets just say that demons have that ability XD