Authors Note: Ok, so against Kristi's suggestion, I'm just going to jump right in with this chapter. We see Bella again, but under less than amusing circumstances. Sorry for the long wait, but I was stuck on this…and Kristi really should take the biggest part of the credit. She started writing it, and I filled in some blanks.
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Fair warning now, this is a very, very depressing chapter. Tissues will be suggested.
Reviews are love, leave some.
Song: If I Die Young by The Band Perry.
(A month after the Kibbs getaway chapters.)
A ring of a cell phone cuts through the somewhat silence that is currently surrounding the bullpen. Reading the name flash across his caller id, a ghost of a smile flickers across Gibbs' face before looking at his team to make sure no one noticed as he answered, "Gibbs."
Taking a quick peek at Jethro, Kate is able to read the current facial expression and she knows that whoever is on the opposite end of the receiver was not giving him good news. Watching him instantly stand, she continues typing at the computer. Maybe it had to deal with the case. Perhaps the killer struck again. As soon as she sees his eyes, she recognizes something she had never seen before: the light was completely gone from his eyes.
Watching and silently waiting, Kate gives him five minutes before she rises from her chair intent on finding her boyfriend. Something happened that she is 100 percent positive about. But for it too affect Jethro that much it had to be pretty big. Please let Bells be uninjured.
Catching Kate's sudden rise from her desk Tony leans on his elbow watching her. "Going to go snoop on the boss, Kate?"
Turning on her heel, she answers, "I have to pee Tony. Want to come join me in the ladies room? I'm sure you'll fit right in."
Tony grins at the obvious opportunity to make a sarcastic jab, but when he reads her face his smile falls, "Um, no thanks Kate. You can enjoy the bathroom alone."
"Thank you, Tony." Resuming her walk towards the ladies room, when she is well out of eyesight, she double backs slightly and turns heading towards the actual conference room where she thought she saw Gibbs go. Pressing her ear to the door of the conference room, she hears Gibbs' voice before she opens the door wide enough for her to slip through and closes it softly behind her.
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Don't do anything or talk to anyone until I get there." Hanging up his cell phone, he returns his phone to his jacket pocket before he slams his palms against the table. "Damn it!"
"Jet, what's wrong?" Kate asks, timidly, walking up to him slowly.
Gibbs shakes his head before he stands straight and rubs one of his hands through his hair and down his face, trying to gather the words, "That was Bella on the phone."
Kate's eyes widen at the response of his niece's name. "Is she alright? She's not hurt is she?"
"He's gone."
He? "He who? I don't understand."
"Connor," Gibbs locks his eyes on to Kate's, not once wavering. "He's dead Katie."
Kate shakes her head, "No, there's got to be a mistake. We were picking up her wedding dress next week."
Gibbs walks over to calm Kate. She never met Connor, but she has grown to love his niece, which makes him love her even more. "Katie, it's not a mistake. His unit was bombed last week, no survivors."
Wiping the tears from her face in frustration, Kate pulls away from him, "We have to go see her, Jet. She can't be alone right now."
"I know. I'll tell the director that I have a family emergency and request that an agent come with me to provide protection. Who better for the job than an ex-bodyguard for the president?"
"I'll head home and start packing and meet you at your place," Kate says, leaning up and kissing him softly. "We'll help her though this, Jay. I promise."
After returning to her desk several minutes before Gibbs reappeared from the Director's office, the duo was able to perfectly orchestrate their plan. Naturally, hearing a "family emergency" sent Tony into a 'Gibbs has family?' tirade but after several minutes they were able to shut him up and leave to their respectable homes to pack. Another hour passed before the couple was on the road and once again Gibbs respect for the speed limit signs was nonexistent.
"Jethro, I love you, and I know you want to get to Bella quickly, but can we at least get there in one piece?" Kate asks, reaching her hand over to grab his, in an effort to calm his nerves.
"If you don't trust my driving by now, then you never will," Gibbs' gruff voice answers, his eyes never once leaving the long stretch of pavement in front of them.
Kate sighs, she pushed the wrong buttons. "You're right. I'm sorry." Looking out the passenger window for a moment, she takes in a shaky breath and says, "I'm worried about her too, Jethro. I already love her as if she was my own niece, and I can't imagine what she's feeling. If I ever lost you-"
"You won't lose me Katie." A moment of silence passes before he decides to keep talking. "I know you care for Bella but this is beyond my caring for her. At the age of twelve, she watched as they lowered her aunt and cousin into the ground. At sixteen she had to watch as her parents were buried. Now, her fiancé…" His hand tightens around hers gently, "you won't lose me, understand?"
Kate wipes the tears from her eyes, as she nods, "Yeah, I do." I just wish that I'd believe it. It's hard to tell in our line of work...and when you drive like a maniac. "She's gone through so much and she's only twenty-two. She's so strong; I don't think I'd ever be able to survive if I were her."
Gibbs' grip on the steering wheel slightly tightens as well as his jaw momentarily before it fades away. "Things were rough on her but she made it through. That's all that matters. She's alive."
Recognizing the way that he just spoke, her full attention is on Gibbs. "Am I missing something here Jet? Did something happen to Bella I don't know about?"
He takes his time to gather his thoughts and what exactly he wants to say. "Yes, in a manner of speaking." Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he flicks on the blinker before continuing his story. "Shortly after her parents' death, I found her passed out cold on the back porch one night. She had gotten into some alcohol. Her heart had slowed…." He cleared his throat, "when she woke up the next morning, she didn't remember a thing. I thought she was just saying that to not get in trouble but she honestly didn't remember. I never brought it up again and as far as I know, she never remembered."
Leaning back against her seat, Kate absorbs the new information that Gibbs just revealed about her. Now his need to get to her so fast made sense...then again, so did his statement at work about not doing anything until he got there. "That poor girl," she barely whispers to herself.
After what seemed like another hour in the car, the couple pulls up to Bella's house on base. Before the car is even fully stopped, Gibbs and Kate jump out and run up to the door, opening it, and finding Bella laying on the floor behind her couch. It appears that she hadn't moved since she was told about Connor's death.
Kate stands a few inches away, as Gibbs falls to the floor next to his niece. He gently puts a hand on her shoulder; the far point on the wall that Bella was staring at becomes obsolete as she turns to face her Uncle. The tears pour from her eyes and she falls into his strong arms. Kate's heart breaks for the young girl, and she lowers herself on the opposite side of Bella.
"He's gone," Bella whispers, "Connor's gone."
Kate watches as Gibbs closes his eyes, trying to stay strong for his niece. "I know, Bug. Let it out."
Bella's tears soak through his shirt, and Kate starts crying softly. "How could this happen? I don't understand!"
As the young woman breaks down, Gibbs just holds her and looks over to Kate. Kate's eyes are red from silently crying, and Gibbs holds out a hand to her. He falls more in love with her in this moment because of the amount of love she has for his niece. Kate never met Connor, and now she never will because of this unfortunate situation.
Kate squeezes Jethro's hand before standing and walking towards the kitchen to collect herself. This isn't about her; this is about Bella and the fact that the love of her life is gone. After calming down, she grabs a glass from the cupboard and fills it with water. Walking back out to the living room, she notices that Jethro had managed to maneuver Bella onto the couch. She sits beside the young girl and offers her the water.
Bella takes the glass wordlessly, sips from it then places it on the coffee table in front of her couch. Kate puts an arm around Bella's shoulders and kisses the young girl on the side of her head. "He's gone, Kate. He's never coming home. What am I going to do?"
Kate's hear breaks a little more for the young girl and she shakes her head silently. "I don't know, sweetie. I don't have any answers for you right now. Nothing is going to make any sense, and it won't for a while. But I'm here, and so is Jethro. We aren't leaving your side. Do you understand?"
"I just want him to come home," Bella says, resting her head on Kate's shoulder. "I want him to walk through the door and say 'gotcha!'."
"I wish he would too," Kate whispers against her hair. She shifts her sad eyes to Jethro, he looks at her with an overwhelming look of love, admiration, and gratitude for being there for him and his neice.
-Kibbs-
It was the second day they had been there and Bella rarely left her room since Gibbs carried her up there the night they arrived. They did what they could around the house; dishes, laundry, Gibbs even dealt with a commander of some sort that came looking for her. The commander, either recognizing his name or possibly reputation, told Gibbs that Bella's duty was temporarily suspended and after that no one came by the house. Flowers would still appear from people showing Bella even more support, leaving her doorstop covered in a variety of bouquets.
A couple days later, Gibbs sits next to Bella on her bed. Today Connor's body and the rest of the men in his unit were being returned home.
"Bella, you don't have to be there…"
"Yes I do!"
"Okay," Jethro says, pulling his niece to him, "Okay."
They stand from the bed, and meet Kate by the door. Kate looks at Bella sadly then up at Jethro with questioning eyes. He gives a slight shake of his head, letting her know that he didn't force Bella into accompanying them to the airstrip.
At the airstrip, everything that has happened the last few days starts to catch up to Kate. Seeing the soldiers go to attention as the plane door opens, she feels her eyes begin to water as she watches the first casket being carried from the plane, an American flag resting on top of it; showing that the man resting inside sacrificed his life to keep everyone free.
Bella is standing among the front line of soldiers, among the Marines and few Naval personnel, at salute to welcome the fallen soldiers home. She stands at a perfect attention as the names of the fallen are called off one by one until they reach Connor's. Kate sees the slight falter in her stance but yet she remains, as the coffins are placed into the cars to be transported to base.
-KIbbs-
Seeing Bella in her solid white uniform cast a different image of the young woman in Kate's eyes. While she had looked so fragile while in Jethro's arms, here she was Naval Officer Woods. She still looked worn which was to be expected but her emotions were forced behind a wall. The pain and grief was gone but so was the sparkle that had once been her eyes. She was no longer a young woman who recently lost her fiancé in the cold fate of war. No, she was a naval officer doing her duty.
Jethro emerges from the guest room in his Marines uniform for funeral, and Kate suddenly feels underdressed. The car ride to Arlington Cemetery was made in silence. Once the trio arrives and steps out of the car, Bella is in 'Navy mode'.
Taking a stand in the front of the row, Bella keeps any and all emotions off her face. A man eases next to her. He rests his hand on her arm and Bella turns to whisper something to him before their attention goes forward.
As the twenty-one gun salute starts, Kate can't but help but slightly flinch at the sounds. She casts a glance at the solemn faced Gibbs and Bella, who despite her best efforts lets a tear slip down her cheek, the pair are standing perfectly still, watching as the final farewell to a man they both loved is being delivered.
A song enters her head that she had heard Bella singing quietly the other day, and she can't help but think that this song holds true to the situation.
If I die young
Bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn,
Send me away with the words of a love song
After the rifle volley finishes, the flag covering Connor is lifted- the honor guard folding the flag carefully before approaching where Bella is currently standing. Saluting her, the soldier whispers his condolences as he offers it to the quiet woman who accepts it and gives him a slight nod. After the coffin brigade exits, Bella approaches the casket with her pure white long-stemmed rose laying it on the dark wood of the lid.
As Kate and Gibbs move to approach the casket to lay their flowers, Kate notices the ribbon of Bella's flower let off a slight gleam. Taking a closer look, she sees the engagement ring Bella has worn proudly since she met her, tied to the center of the bow. Kate lets her emotions go after seeing that this truly is the end of a love that Bella lived for. Tears fall from her eyes, as she leans into Jethro; they lay their flowers beside Bella's quietly. Kate lays her hand against the cold surface of the coffin lid. Lord help her if she ever has to bury Jethro. She could never be a strong as Bella is.
Seeing movement in the corner of her eye, Kate turns to see Jethro salute the coffin. "I've got my eyes on her now Connor. I'll keep her safe. A cool breeze blows through the trees and Kate shivers, she can't help but think that Connor heard Jethro's final words.
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life
-Kibbs-
After Bella retreats to her room, Jethro joins Kate in her kitchen having reheated some leftover that were in the fridge for the two of them, after Bella's insistence. They sit mostly in silence until after dinner when Gibbs is the first to speak. "You may want to get some sleep soon Kate. I've got the first shift."
"Shift? What are you talking about?"
"You'll see soon enough Katie."
It had only been a few hours after Kate had just fallen asleep when she was jarred awake by the blood curdling scream that seemed to come from inside the house. She searches for Gibbs momentarily before it happens again and she flies from the couch to Bella's room, gun in hand, but stops at the door when she sees Gibbs sitting on her bed, Bella's face buried in his shoulder.
His steel-blue eyes look up at Kate long enough for her to see that this is what he meant by taking shifts. This must not have been the first time Bella received nightmares and she knows it is triggered by the heart-shattering news. Gibbs was taking the first shift of staying at Bella's side. Instead of returning to the room she and Jethro were sharing, Kate lies out on the bed next to Bella, and she falls into a restless sleep.
-Kibbs-
The next day after having talked to the Staff Sergeant, Gibbs tells Kate they won't be staying but rather he was packing up Bella for a few weeks and she would stay with him. To say she was confused is minimal, but the look in his eyes as he told her, "I don't want to lose her Katie," put any questions to rest.
Kate is folding up clothes and Bella is leaning against her bedroom window, her eyes watching the road praying, hoping no doubt that someone would approach her to say they made a mistake. Grabbing the last of what Bella will needs, she shuts the suitcase signaling Jethro to take it as she whispers it is time to go and steers her towards the car.
-Kibbs-
Once back at home, Jethro sets Bella's bag in a room Kate had never seen before, but she instantly realizes it was the room Bella had when she was in Jethro's care. Instead of staying in her room, Bella slips out the back door and sits underneath a small tree in the corner of the yard. Watching her from the house, Gibbs grabs his phone and walks away. A few minutes later he returns to stand beside her. "Mind going to the Chinese restaurant we love so much?"
Kate's brow wrinkles in confusion, "You realize Tony likes going there too right? If I get seen…"
"Tell him if he has questions, to call me."
"Ok." She casts one quick glance at him before heading out the door.
She manages to pull in as another car pulls in behind her. Spotting the driver, she gives him a smile. "Hi Ducky."
"Caitlyn? I thought you and Jethro were supposed to be off on some family emergency. When Jethro called I was a bit concerned."
Kate opens her mouth when she sees the front door open and Gibbs awaiting for them as they got closer to the porch. "Jethro, is your father alright? When Tony told me it was a family emergency, I feared the worst."
"Not Jackson, Duck."
"Well then who else could it be?" As Gibbs tilts his head to the side, Ducky spots the female gray naval zip-up sweater tossed on the arm of a chair. Taking off his scarf he looks at Jethro, worry all over his face. "Don't tell me that sweet girl got hurt."
Jethro's jaw tightens as he looks in the direction of the backdoor, "Not somewhere that I can fix Duck."
Ducky nods and heads for the back alone; Gibbs will leave him to try to talk to her and help in any way that he can. Gibbs only calls on him when he knows his simple gestures won't help and in the instances that he does, he knows to be prepared for the worst.
Ducky lowers himself next to Bella under the tree that she dubbed as hers so long ago, and puts an arm around her shoulder, "Hello my dear."
Bella turns her head, and the tears pull in her eyes, "Uncle Duck…he's gone."
Piecing together who the 'he' is, Ducky looks at her with soft, sad eyes, and pulls her closer to him. "Oh, dear."
-Kibbs-
The next few days fly by and the rough nights go with them. Bella is rarely seen and doesn't talk unless she must; Kate doesn't want to refer her to looking ghost like, but there is no other way to describe the broken woman. Seeing her first hand, she realizes why Gibbs was so protective of her; why he wanted to hide her away from the world.
"You need to go home tonight Kate," Gibbs says, sitting next to Kate on the couch.
"What, why? And don't you tell me it's because you want me to get decent sleep or you can handle it on your own, Jet. She is hurting and you don't have to be the only rock in her life. I'm here now."
"The director called. He needs us back. I am taking a few more days off but you need to go in Kate. Tony and McGee are getting bogged down."
"Jet-"
"I know Katie, but it's not fair to you either."
-Kibbs—
Running on a total of four hours of sleep for the last three days, Kate walks off the elevator at 0600 the next day. She would much rather be with Jethro and Bella, but she knows that her job is important as well; but it doesn't mean that her mind will stay focused on work. Fact of the matter is she will be thinking of Bella all day. The only difference between today and the last three, is that now she has to worry about Tony and his nosy questions.
Booting up her computer, she sits down at her desk. She is the first one there, despite the pileup the boys are having, which shouldn't surprise her, they wouldn't be early to work in their life. Twenty minutes pass before the ding of the elevator and footsteps alert her to another arrival, no doubt McGee. Looking up she sees the younger agent turn to say hello, before stopping completely and giving a double take. She knew she looked like hell, but she didn't think it had been that bad.
"I'm fine McGee. I've just had some bad nights sleeping recently," she tells him, before he has a chance to ask the question.
Later that morning, Tony taps his pencil on the desk, watching Kate. Before McGee has a chance to ask another question, Tony's curiosity gets the better of him. "So, were you going to share what you and Gibbs have been up to Kate?"
"Nope," Kate answers shortly, not looking at Tony.
"Oh come on Kate, the both of you disappear off on some 'family emergency' and we all know he doesn't have any family. Wait,-" Tony stares off into space, a smile on his face. "He has a clone doesn't he? Or like some DNA replicator like in the movie The 6th Day."
Kate opens her mouth when the news on a background TV catches her attention. Turning her head, she sees a television reporter with some carnage photo in the background. Walking over, she grabs the remote and turns up the volume.
"…massive bombing took place in Iraq. A unit of fifteen soldiers was killed in the explosion, the report issued states that there were no survivors. Bodies are still being searched for, but the confirmed dead included Private Preston James, Second Private Greg Caine, and the leader of the unit Sergeant Connor Abshire. The unit was stationed here from the North Carolina…"
Pressing the power button, the image of Connor fades from the television screen and both agents are standing next to Kate, watching her instead of the television. "Kate?"
"I'm fine Tony," she replies quietly before heading to her desk.
"Did you know someone in the unit?" McGee asks, really hoping he isn't making her feel uncomfortable.
Kate looks over at the confused and slightly concerned McGee before giving him a watery smile, "No. Never met any of them…"
As Kate walks away, Tony's eyes follow her retreating form, and he slaps McGee upside the head, "Way to go, Probie. You made her cry."
-Kibbs-
"How did you do it Uncle Jay? How did you keep going after Aunt Shannon and Kelly's death?"
He smiles sadly at his young niece, "I had you bug. You needed me as much as I needed you."
"It hurts so much," she whispers. "I don't think I'll ever recover from this. I miss him too much. There's a hole in my heart where Connor used to be. Every time the phone rings, I think it's him. Every knock on the door…I can't breathe, it hurts."
"I know it does, bug," Gibbs says, pulling her to him. "The pain doesn't go away fully, but I promise you it does get better."
Bella gives him a slight eye roll, "You don't make promises, Uncle Jay."
"I don't make promises that I can't keep," Gibbs corrects, "But I know from experience that it will get better in time."
Bella sighs softly, and closes her eyes, "I hope you're right."
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears
Keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time
When you're really gonna need 'em oh
The sharp knife of a short life
Well I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys
And I'll wear my pearls