Only Human

by effinsusie

[COMPLETE] Winter is coming, and Kagome is prepared. A thoughtless wish binds Kagome to Sesshoumaru. Winner- FC Awards 2021 Q2, Best Angst- 3rd place Winner-FC Awards 2021 Q3, Best AU/AR- 3rd Place

20. Heart to Heart

More than a week had passed since they left General Yakimoto's mansion. And though they had covered quite a bit of ground as far as distance traveled, they still hadn't made any progress locating the tiger clan.

The General had referred them to his contacts in the next four villages. And this one, just like the last three, turned out to be a dead end.

It wasn't all a wasted effort. The last three towns were on their map, and they had planned to pass through them anyway. Mentioning the General's name ensured the group seamless cooperation, and even afforded them a place to stay while they questioned the villagers.

The fourth village however, the one they were currently at, had not been part of the original plan. Sesshoumaru had originally opted to skip it, as it was slightly off course and did not appear entirely promising as far as gathering any information. But the General was very insistent, and claimed that his allies there would likely be of great help to them. They weren't.

As that became increasingly apparent, the Lord of the West had become particularly snippy; deeming the entire excursion a complete waste of time.

That's not to say he had been a total pleasure to travel with until that point...

Miroku had expected the dynamic to shift a bit, after what he had witnessed back at the mansion. But to his dismay and confusion, Sesshoumaru and Kagome seemed dead set on acting like the whole thing never happened.

He tried to press Kagome for details, and offer his encouragement of the pairing. But she had been dismissive; brushing the kiss off as a fluke, and insisting they decided they were better off as friends. Any attempts to find out what may have changed their minds was met with vague denials and unsatisfying excuses. Sesshoumaru, of course, was no more forthcoming. It seemed they were united in pretending nothing had occurred.

The others had been oblivious of anything going on between them. So once it was clear he would be getting nothing out of the couple, Miroku eventually relented and let the matter drop.

He did notice that the pair had become a bit more hostile towards each other than usual. They had taken to bickering even more than they were before. Where they typically used to clash heads on only matters of some importance, it seemed that now any little disagreement was enough to get them going.

At times, it almost seemed like they were itching for something to argue about. The monk couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't a little pent up frustration that was perhaps to blame.

"I'm just saying, that was stupid," the miko reiterated as the group made their way across town.

"It was necessary."

To make matters worse, they had just been ejected from their lodging. The General's ally in this village was the sister of one of his soldiers. She had a very nice home, and was willing to let the search party stay with her while in town.

"It was so not necessary. You didn't have to break his nose."

Unfortunately, the woman had another brother staying with her who was not as upstanding as Yakimoto's soldier. It did not take long for Sesshoumaru to lose his patience with the young man, and the results saw them – respectfully – ordered to vacate the property.

"He threatened you," Sesshoumaru deemed fit to remind her, growing increasingly weary of her dismissive behavior. And selective memory regarding the incident.

"He was only flirting," she justified, ignoring his pointed glare. "The poor guy just wasn't very tactful."

"He threatened to assault you, did he not?"

And to be fair to Sesshoumaru, the man had been particularly crass. But to be fair to the man, Kagome was looking particularly fetching today. Like, amazingly fetching.

And not just today.

In the feudal era, Kagome had never been wanting for attention. Her clothing alone was enough to ensure every eyeball in the vicinity was aimed straight at her.

The winter cold had caused her to start covering more of herself lately. But for some reason, ever since leaving the mansion, she had decided to slip back into her old green skirt. She wore a variety of different tops nowadays, but the most jarring difference was the sudden addition of makeup.

Nothing excessive. Just a bit of eyeliner; dark black or else midnight blue. And depending on her shirt, she would apply a light layer of lipstick that ran the gamut from bright pink all the way to burgundy. Today, she had chosen to go with more of a red.

But that was all it took. Miroku immediately noticed how eager the village men seemed to become when they began to make their rounds. At first, it seemed like a great way to collect more information quickly. But as the days wore on, it started to become clear that what the village men had told them was very likely fabrication. Invented, for the purposes of chatting up the pretty young woman in the group.

But the miko did not seem to mind the attention in the least. And of course, the monk had been enjoying the view himself.

"He said he wanted to do things to me, he wasn't really going to do them." Her assurances, as they walked together down the main road through town, did little to convince the former dog demon that he was in any way in the wrong.

"You would take that chance? Hn. Perhaps you would have liked that."

And Sesshoumaru was on a roll. Despite having several tense confrontations, he had not lost a fight since the soldiers broke his arm.

Perhaps it was his growing confidence, or perhaps he was becoming more accustomed to his new form, but the few times he had actually needed to prove himself in a challenge, he'd managed to walk away from the crumpled human without a scratch on him.

But they had not encountered a demon as of yet.

His recent fights had been warranted, and garnered no objection from the pack. But this last one was a little grey as to whether the force was really necessary.

Not to mention, thrashing the young man had seen to them getting kicked out of his sister's home. Now, they had to scramble for a place to sleep tonight, or they were going to be camping outdoors. Not that anyone else saw fit to gripe at him about it.

In fact, Kagome was the only one who seemed comfortable calling Sesshoumaru out. Not only comfortable, but eager. The others were used to their constant squabbling by now, so rather than get involved, they simply marched ahead, and let the pair duke it out until a winner had been declared between the two of them.

"Of course not. He was so not my type." She was a little rankled that he would imply such a thing, but knew he was trying to get under her skin. And the way to get under his skin, was to act like she didn't mind. "But if you are going to beat up every guy who wants to sleep with me, we are never going to find Rin."

Apparently, Sesshoumaru was not the only one who had seen a recent bolster of confidence lately. His eyes slid flatly down to the woman walking at his side.

"Someone certainly has a high opinion of herself." He earned a short, incredulous burst of laughter for his comment.

"Look who's talking! Mr. God's Gift to Female Kind." He simply kept his focus on the tree line ahead, and the rest of the traveling party who was beginning to gain distance between them.

When she quickened her pace to catch up to them, his smooth baritone succeeded in slowing her steps.

"There are two things wrong with your comparison," he began. Though she slowed her speed, he didn't bother increasing his to meet her. "First; I do not entertain the advances of those who seek to sully me."

Experience told her that his condescending tone would result in an insufferable end to his statement. Nonetheless, she stopped in her tracks, and waited for the Western Lord to reach her side.

Once he did, she looked up at him impatiently.

"And the second?" Her demand had the man halting abruptly beside her. But her annoyance did not irk him, as it had endlessly in the past. Instead, he relished it.

He assumed she was aware, yet she continued to bait him still. It seemed she enjoyed it too. The girl really was a glutton for punishment.

He turned his head, despite his rigid form remaining forward, and held her gaze a moment just for dramatic effect.

"In my case, it is the truth." And then he continued ahead without her. She really was a masochist.

His stride was long, but his steps were slow. It didn't take long for her to catch him.

"I thought the kami put you here for war, not to arouse women." The miko fell into step beside him, glaring up expectantly to receive his retort. She mimicked his form out of mockery, folding both arms behind her back. But when she realized she hadn't won his attention, she bent forward to try and encroach on his line of sight.

"Alas, my duties are numerous and tedious," he all but sighed in faux-exasperation, keeping his gaze forward.

Kagome relaxed her stiff posture with a huff, and shot him another glare.

"Are you sure you weren't put here to annoy the eff out of me?"

"As I said, I have several functions."

"Is one of them to shut up?" she immediately asked. He answered just as quickly.

"It is my most practiced and perhaps most enjoyable duty. It is you who insists on picking fights, after I so generously prevented yet another assault on your 'irresistible person.'"

The sarcastic tint at the end caused Kagome's face to scrunch in offense.

The last of the huts were in view as they approached the end of the dirt road. The others, who had been allowing them space to indulge in their most recent squabble, were waiting up ahead at the entrance to the forest.

Without transportation, they decided it was faster simply to cut through the dense woods. And seeing as it was only mid-day, it was not an outrageously dangerous expedition.

All members of the party were now armed, and not exactly novices at battling demons, should any attempt to impede on their progress. And after trudging through miles of dull farmlands, a change in scenery was not unappealing.

The remainder of the town which rested on the other side was where they would conclude their investigation for the day. And seeing as they had been forced to vacate their previous host's dwelling prematurely, they had hopes of locking down a warm place to sleep over there as well.

"I could have handled it myself," she insisted petulantly, causing him to cock an eyebrow at her.

"Then why didn't you?" It was actually something he very much wanted to know. Now it was she who refused to look his way.

"I was working up to it. We need to network to get our information, and to network you need to be nice. You still have a lot to learn."

He curved his lips to frown. "I will never be nice."

"Well then, if you want to find Rin, you better settle for being quiet. Just let us take care of the talking from now on."

"At last. Something you excel at." They finally caught up to her friends, who had graciously waited their arrival. But Kagome refused to let him have the last word.

"That's right. And it would help me a ton if you could keep your fists in your pockets until we get the information we need."

A large, fallen tree was blocking the path into the woods. Sango, who had been taking the lead, was preparing to scale over the downed, branchless trunk. But Miroku's gentle hand on her shoulder gave her pause.

He turned to his two bickering companions, and slid his easy, diplomatic smile into place.

"Perhaps we should rest for a bit. Cool our tempers." His suggestion finally earned their attention, as they turned from each other immediately.

"No!" The monk flinched at the angry reply in unison.

"We just got started," Kagome reminded him.

"Yes. To rest is to lose daylight. We continue," Sesshoumaru agreed with her, perhaps for the first time that day.

With a defeated sigh, he turned back to Sango who offered a passive shrug before resuming her previous attempt at getting over the tree. She easily scaled to the top, and reached to aid Miroku in doing the same.

"Finally, you are using your head," Kagome quipped, unwilling to leave the argument at that. She brushed ahead of Sesshoumaru, and reached up to grab Miroku's outstretched hand. The Western Lord stood by patiently, leaning against the dead bark and watching her scramble to make her ascent.

His position allowed for an unobscured view of her backside as she climbed atop the fallen tree. If she was aware that he now knew she'd chosen pink undergarments this day, she didn't seem concerned about it. He considered giving her a push, to help her achieve her climb. But the thought came and went as she did not appear to be having any trouble without his assistance.

Miroku jumped down to join Sango on the other side, and before Kagome could offer a hand to him, Sesshoumaru had already found his way on top to join her.

"And what is it you use, miko, to get the attentions of every male in leering distance?" His tone was low, and dangerously close to her ear. The unexpected heat of his breath was not unpleasant, she decided.

Before she could respond, he leapt down to join the others. But as the pair continued on ahead, Sesshoumaru waited to offer his hand.

Kagome was neither surprised nor thankful of his assistance. She merely accepted his aid, grabbing on tightly while she jumped to the dirt floor below.

When her balance was assured, he released his grip to allow her to gather her bearings. She pressed the wrinkles from her clothes, and they followed after her friends together.

The couple ahead seemed to be keeping a knowing distance, however.

"Was that another quip about my skirt? You need some new material."

He flashed his gaze down to said garment, and considered perhaps she was correct. His barbs regarding such did not seem to have the same effect they once did. Nonetheless...

"Perhaps enough to fashion you a more decent covering? Not that it would take much."

He smirked when he noticed her eye twitch, and hands ball into fists at her side. Then again, maybe he could still get some mileage out of that thing.

"Oooh! Sorry we can't all have fancy pants... pants and... stuff." But his victory was short-lived, as he was forced to stop and try to decode her bewildering statement. He could usually put her strange manner of speak into context, but this one left him reeling. Finally, he gave up.

"What?" His brows knit together in unconcealed confusion. Not willing to explain herself, Kagome refused to even turn around as she kept pressing forward.

"Never mind. Just, shut up. And stop looking at my legs."

She heard him scoff at the same time as she heard his footsteps pick back up behind her, somewhat faster than they had been before.

"Gladly. I prefer to look at something less boring. I think I see a cow pasture in the distance that will suffice."

She looked about, but could not see the pasture he was referring to. All there was were trees. Trees in every direction. Most of them bereft of their branches, likely from the winter weather that had at least seemed to become less traumatic the further north they traveled. They hadn't seen any snow in days.

The lack of branches made the rows of trees look funny though, and something amusing occurred to her. She didn't have to slow her paces long before he was back at her side.

"You sure you wouldn't prefer to stare at those bare trees over there? You notice how phallic shaped they are?"

"I would not. And I do not," he insisted, completely unamused. Her mocking smile only grew wider.

"No?" she coaxed. "Nothing exciting about that to you?" He refused to even spare her glance at her childish behavior.

"I am afraid you are projecting, miko."

Kagome smiled and leaned in to tease.

"Please. I'm not wanting for offers. In fact, that's why we were fighting in the first place. You had to protect me from all the attention I get."

If possible, he became even less amused, and twisted his lips into a scowl to prove it.

"I was not protecting you."

"Ah, so you were jealous. You can have him, Sessh. Like I said, he wasn't my type."

"Your idiocy never ceases to amaze." She had been angling to agitate him, and it seemed like she was well on her way. Inwardly, Kagome preened.

"To attack, or even address a member of my party is to be openly disrespectful to the Lord of the West. Even if I am a human, my honor will not be put into question."

She rolled her eyes dismissively at his haughty reasoning, but that only seemed to make him more upset.

"By inviting such advances, it not only puts into question my ability to protect, but to rule as well. With each challenge you incite, you put my very lands at risk. Least of all you, and your foolish companions."

Despite the fact that she had stopped goading him, his ire appeared to be steadily increasing. Normally, she relished the ability to mount his frustrations, but it seemed she had hit a nerve. She just wondered what it was.

"Your pathetic desire for attention places us all in danger. For once I am seen fit not to rule, a coup will not be long in coming."

Though typically very annoying, their banter usually resembled something akin to playful. But the sudden stern accusation in his tone was beginning to zap the fun out of her taunting. He always ruined everything, and she pouted in response.

"Most people can't even tell it's you," she insisted defensively. "They don't know what happened."

"Yet." He stopped in his tracks, causing her to do the same. The shade of the forest chilled the air around them, and darkened the ambiance instantly. Sesshoumaru's features also became shadowed, making him appear much more menacing than in the bright light of day only moments ago.

"With each encounter, we create another story to be gossiped about. How long until a few astute individuals are able to put together what has occurred?" It was hard to meet his eyes as it began to sink in, and she hoped that he was just being dramatic. "You forget those tigers are already aware of my predicament. They have Rin as proof. And if Jaken is spotted, or captured without me, it won't be long before all are aware that the West is ripe for a challenge."

She folded her arms in front of her chest and tried not to react when he drew his face very near to hers, lowering his tone to a grave, threatening effect. "You may think This One is cruel, but just wait and see what demon takes my place. My indifference towards your kind will seem like a love affair in comparison to what they have in store for you."

By now, she was certain that his affinity for mankind was miles beyond indifferent, but decided it was not the time to make that point. Instead, she chose to mull what he was telling her. She was beginning to worry that he might have a point.

"I didn't think about that." She lowered her arms slowly, letting guilt wash over her as he retreated her personal bubble and continued ahead without her.

"No. You did not," he announced imperiously. "That is your problem. You do not think. Not about anything important. All you think about is how presentable you look, and which males are looking. And how far do I need to bend to let him see my-"

His steps barely faltered, but Kagome was too inwardly distracted to notice. He caught himself in time to redirect his thoughts and steer back to his original point.

"All the while, your pathetic cries for attention do nothing except put us all in danger. I hope the simpleton who wins your virtue is worth the risk for you, because it certainly is not for me."

The perilous weight in his tone put a knot in her stomach. She hated how easily he could set her nerves on edge. He knew just how to make her feel about an inch tall, and at the same time shame her for shrinking.

She stood there watching his retreating back as he followed off after her friends, and the forest felt a good fifteen degrees colder. She'd managed to disappoint him again, and that cut her just as badly as the possibility she'd endangered her friends.

"I don't do it for attention." Sesshoumaru scoffed, but halted. He wasn't aware until she'd spoken that she had not been following behind him.

"The way I dress, and make myself up, I do it for me. Everyone around me is pairing up, and settling down. Even in my era, the girls make fun of me for never having a boyfriend. I mean, I have never even kissed anyone until..."

His eyes widened a fraction, but luckily she hadn't been able to see it.

She'd never been kissed until him? He knew she was untouched, but...

He couldn't help but feel guilty. Their first kiss had been anything but gentle. It was a power move. And what it almost resulted in... She deserved better than that. He should have known. She was so terribly young.

He was actually glad she had refused him back at the mansion. She should find some kind mortal who could handle her gently. Even if he would no doubt be some unworthy fool.

"My duties made me put my life on hold, and I gladly did it. Because the fate of the world was more important than my happiness." He noted the somber turn her mood was taking, and was regretting accusing her so harshly. But he still refused to turn, opting to remain still while he heard her approach him once again.

"I miss out on a lot doing all this stuff. Between fighting evil and saving the day, there isn't any time for myself. That's why I appreciate the little things: hot springs, flower beds, make up."

He was certainly aware of her affinity for hot springs. Even in the worst of times, access to one was all it took to make her whole week.

He supposed he couldn't fault her for that. As frivolous as those things were, they were small considerations to ask for. The miko seemed to live her life for others. But that's what mikos are supposed to do, isn't it? If she didn't want to live a selfless life, then why did she choose it for herself?

Then he remembered, that she didn't. She was chosen. Burden of duty was one thing the Western Lord could appreciate.

"I dress like this because I like it. It makes me feel good, just a little, to look nice once in a while."

And now he was trying to take that from her. Why? What did it truly matter what this woman did?

"I'm not trying to get any attention. I get enough of that on my own. But when no one loves you, when you don't have anyone to share your life with, it's nice to hear it from strangers sometimes."

He couldn't help but suspect that last bit was aimed at him, even if she hadn't meant it to be.

And while it had not been her intention, she couldn't deny that the sudden surge in appreciation had been flattering. With all the rejection she had endured recently, it was a bit of an ego boost to actually feel desirable.

"And it's nice to be appreciated, even if it borders on inappropriate. I don't have anyone to tell me I look nice. I guess I needed to hear it."

But she decided that wasn't a good enough excuse. If it was as he said, and she was giving him too much exposure, then it really wasn't worth it.

Was she really so hard up for affection? How pathetic.

She looked intensely apologetic all of a sudden, but he found it did not suit her.

So what had he intended?

"I never meant to put us in danger. I guess that I was taking for granted all you and Inuyasha and everyone does to keep me safe." Then, she forced a smile. He hated that fake contentment even more than her sadness. She was lying again, and doing a terrible job of it.

But he wasn't angry at her for it. She was just trying to appease him. Trying to allay their concerns.

Still, he would much rather that she didn't. He didn't want her to have to.

Annoying guilt was gnawing at him, telling him it was his fault. Telling him that he should have been the one to ensure she was aware of her importance. That she was worthy of admiration.

Worse yet, he was certain that he had. Had he lacked in that regard? The strangeness of human etiquette continued to confound him.

"So thank you. And I will try to blend in a little better from now on. Okay?"

His dismissive scoff was not what she had been expecting. She thought he wanted her compliance.

"Miko, you could not blend in if your life depended on it. And it very well might." She deflated, but continued to gaze helplessly into his admonishing eyes.

"But it is not necessary. I am more than capable of defending your virtue. And your friends would clearly lay down their lives for yours."

She looked ahead to see that the friends in question were nearly out of sight, and frowned.

"But they shouldn't."

"Perhaps not," he agreed. "But if the price of their safety is their miko's contentment, then I'd imagine the cost is too great."

Well, it was hardly a fair trade as far as she could see. She vowed to take more care when it came to the protection of her friends. It was one thing if she wanted to throw herself into danger for her petty indulgences, but the others shouldn't have to pay for her mistakes.

Still, it was a very sweet notion.

Sesshoumaru followed her gaze up ahead to her packmates, and decided that as far as comrades went, she certainly could have done a lot worse. Loyalty was a rare trait even among demons, but these humans had it in spades. Their fidelity to this young woman was beyond satisfactory.

"It is not my intention to alter my behavior to appease anyone. I would have my pack follow the same mantra."

She looked up to see him still staring off in the distance.

"But-"

"Do as you wish, miko. And I shall take care of the rest. With all you have given up for this world, surely you deserve your scrap of happiness." He returned his gaze to hers again, but it only lingered there a moment before traveling south, and resting upon her green skirt. "If it takes the form of that scrap of clothing, so be it."

He began to march forward before his thoughts strayed far enough to recall flashes of pink... for any longer. But a few paces out he stopped again, and threw his head over his shoulder to the troubled young woman lingering behind.

"Do not change yourself just because of what one fool says. If anyone has a problem, that's exactly what it is: their problem. And if they harass you about it, they will have another problem. Understood?"

He had vowed to protect the miko, and he would continue to do so. But it appeared he must include himself as a possible danger to her. Neglecting to acknowledge her attributes seemed to cause just as much detriment as pointing out her shortcomings, and those were both crimes he was certainly guilty of. It was an unpleasant thought to consider as he resumed walking. It was not long before she had jogged to his side.

"So, I'm really not causing you too much trouble?" she asked hopefully. He regarded her again as they walked in step.

She seemed eager to please. But more than that, she seemed desperate to confirm that she hadn't caused any harm. To her, that would be her greatest sin. Funny, as at times it seemed all that he was created for.

"The only trouble I find with your clothing is keeping my eyes in a more appropriate location." He paused, and indulged in another glance for good measure. "And the unfamiliar feelings they arouse within me. If you are comfortable with that knowledge then by all means, continue."

If she was so desirous of male attention, he was more than happy to give it to her. He had simply assumed such comments were not appreciated; her reaction to the monk's various attempts certainly didn't seem favorable. Then again, that man tended to take things to the extreme.

"I knew you were looking!" she announced, and out of reflex, he snapped his gaze forward again. But the smile on her face told him she wasn't terribly upset about it. "And you know what? I don't think I care. Look all you want."

She confirmed his suspicions as she preened, and he decided that perhaps her ego was something that needed to be tempered after all, not fed.

Or maybe having permission took some of the fun out of it. Either way, he removed his gaze from her entirely.

"Don't flatter yourself. I only prefer the shape of your legs to the dirt farms we pass," he looked about the forest, "or the phallic shaped greenery."

"Whatever you say."

Her large smile was telling, and for the first time since departing the last village, she looked genuinely pleased. As much as he enjoyed spinning her up with his taunting – and he still maintained that she enjoyed it too – seeing her actually happy was very much preferred.

"Kagome." The rare use of her name earned her complete and instant attention. She turned to see him looking intently at her. She couldn't explain it, but something in his eyes made his entire face soften; even though he hadn't moved a muscle. And suddenly, the forest didn't seem so cold and dark anymore.

"I may find your strange clothing inappropriate for travel. It does not mean I find you unappealing." But she already knew that. Just because he never said anything, she knew. Though it was nice to hear him say it. With a thankful smile, she returned her gaze forward. So did he.

"But you are not all together unappealing without it. Just know, it is not required."

That did her in. She couldn't remove her dopey grin if she tried.

But after running the line through her head a few times, she stopped herself cold.

"Wait." At her insistence, he stopped as well, and threw an inquisitive look over his shoulder. "Are you saying I'd look good in anything? Or wearing nothing?"

This time his long, assessing look caused her cheeks to heat. Then he smirked at her.

"Yes."

---

With a curse, Kagome slumped her shoulders and made her way silently over to the barren tree.

She wanted to stomp over angrily, and let out just a fraction of the tension that had been building within her for the last hour. The whole day. The whole fucking fortnight.

But that would be counterproductive. She needed to keep her composure for now; her pride was on the line.

Maybe she shouldn't have volunteered. Out of the group she wasn't hailed as the best hunter. But that's why she did it.

She had the bow. She'd caught an animal before. Though usually, when taking her shot, it was at a rabid demon hurdling itself towards her. Not the other way around.

Without demon speed or stealth, patience and perception were her only allies. When she'd spotted the deer within the first five minutes, she'd thought she had gotten a lucky break. She was wrong.

That damn deer was so easily spooked. Just the sound of her reaching into her quiver was enough to send it running. She kept her arrow in her hand after that.

But it wasn't her only opportunity. For as scared as the deer was, it did not see fit to run far. Three times Kagome had a chance at a shot at it, and three times she had missed. A moving target is much harder than a stationary one.

With a scowl, she wrapped her callused hand around the shaft and yanked her arrow free from the naked tree she had put it in.

If only there was another animal around. Something slower, with less self-preservation. But this forest was practically barren. The next critter she came across was going to be sacrificed for her pack. But since she'd only seen that deer, she scanned for her again.

And she would have to find her soon. The forest was dark enough in the daylight. But with the sun almost ready to retire for the evening, this was going to literally be her last shot at winning a meal for the campers.

They could make due. If she failed in her mission, she still had plenty of rations in her backpack. But they still had a ways to go before reaching the compound, and it would be best to save them for when needed.

And also, her pride was at stake. She promised she could hunt something.

A rustle of tan in her periphery alerted her of her little's friends' whereabouts, and she stilled. Turning her head, she hardly dared to breathe as she observed the gentle doe taking a drink from the stream. Probably one last refreshing sip before scurrying off to bed.

It was just a bit out of her range, and she realized she would need to move closer to hit it. So never removing her eyes from her target, she slowly moved forward.

Each step was torture. Each sound of twigs snapping beneath her sneakers was the sound of certain loss. But so far, the deer hadn't noticed.

Just a couple more steps should get her in range. Preparing for the moment she reached it, she brought the arrow to her bowstring. Nocking it low, below the bush line, she readied her aim. She nearly faltered when the deer snapped her head to the side, as if it heard something. She was sure it would flee, and Kagome froze. Stick still.

But after a suspicious glance, the deer bent her head to resume slaking her thirst. Kagome prepared to take her final step. Arrow still nocked from before, she aimed, and lifted her foot.

And before she knew it, she was on her back. She screamed when a hard body careened into hers. Wrapping his arms around her middle, he tackled her just in time to send her arrow sailing into a high arc somewhere into the thicket.

She managed to avoid landing on her quiver, but her bow had been knocked from her hands. Now, she lay sprawled on the dirt, with a deceptively heavy man trapping her beneath his weight.

"Dammit Sesshoumaru! You just cost us our meal!"

She had no idea what kind of games he was playing, but she was beyond pissed. She pushed him harshly at both his shoulders, prompting him to gently unwrap his arms and release her from his hold. She wiggled to escape him, but he only moved just enough to let her sit up, and no further.

"Let me up! What the hell were you thinking?!" Her breathing became heavier in her rage. Exhaustion was beginning to claim her after a frustrating hunt, and her eyes looked black the way her pupils had dilated.

Still trapped beneath his thighs, he propped himself up with a hand on each side of her, and held her gaze meaningfully, in that passive way he does.

"That you may not appreciate becoming ensnared."

She was ready to explode. She was in no mood for his riddles. But before she opened her mouth to ask what the hell he was talking about, he pointedly turned his head to the side. She followed his gaze.

There, not a foot away, lay a fairly large, very sharp, and absolutely activated animal trap; poised and ready to tear through the first thing that breached it. And if Sesshoumaru hadn't dove when he did, that thing would have been her.

It was a nasty one too. It might have taken her leg clear off below the knee. She turned her frazzled, slightly horrified frame back to him, and let her wide eyes take in stoic features. Still stoic, even while lying in the dirt after rescuing her from a possible amputee situation.

He said nothing, probably waiting for her to calm down enough to thank him. And that's what she did.

Nearly in tears from the stress, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and squeezed him as tightly as she could to her chest.

He didn't move. His hands were still supporting him in the dirt, but she wasn't certain he would have returned the gesture if they weren't. Still, he didn't rebuff her. Didn't scold her for her audacity or make an attempt to escape. He just sat there, saying nothing, until she felt her hug was sufficient.

When her trembling subsided she pulled back, a slight blush on her face; both from their proximity, and the foolishness of that very literal misstep.

"Where the hell did that come from?" she asked him, looking cautiously at the trap again. His focus remained on her as she marveled over the sharp, gnarly blades.

"Hunters. The Northern wild is littered with them. You must take more care."

He was trying to sound reprimanding, but his concern was more than clear to her.

"Would have been something good to tell me earlier." She waited for him to tell her that it was up to her to be more observant. That it was not his job to babysit her at every turn.

"An oversight. It will not be repeated." Instead, he simply assured her. It almost sounded apologetic.

But she was in no mood to chastise him. Not anymore. With a thankful smile and a slight nod, she shifted to rise, and he got off of her. Before she could join him, he reached for her with both hands, and pulled her to her feet by her arm.

She brushed the dirt off herself, and he did the same. He was tempted to aid her, but opted instead for gathering the scattered arrows that spilled from her quiver during his dive attack. She lifted the quiver, and followed after as he collected them up for her, and replaced them.

Last, he retrieved her bow for her. She reached out to grasp it, and they shared another meaningful glance. Hers filled with gratitude, and his with cautious relief. He relayed his concern as he delayed letting go for some reason. Just long enough to let her see. They both seemed still somewhat shaken by the experience.

"That's all of them."

"Except the one in the brush," he reminded her. But she hadn't forgotten. She thought she saw where it ended up.

"Yeah. I better go find it. Can't spare a single one."

"I will assist you." She offered no argument as he fell in step beside her. They made their way across the forest, slipping past bushes and dodging trees to get where they needed to be.

"So what, were you following me?" she asked, checking each bush as they closed in on their destination. He was searching as well.

"You had been gone some time." He'd actually been following her for a good ten minutes before making himself known. He saw the fierce determination she displayed, and he was certain she was going to claim her prey. He very much wanted to bear witness to her successful kill.

So engrossed in her hunt he was, that he himself actually hadn't noticed the trap until it was almost too late. If he had been just a moment later...

"Stupid deer keeps giving me the slip. Sorry, I guess it's granola for dinner tonight." She was on her knees now, perusing a cluster of bushes. He bent low a few feet away to search through another set.

"There is still time." The sun was still out. And she was so close. He wanted this for her, but the miko sounded thoroughly defeated.

"No, it's over. I give up. She's earned her life."

With a pleased exclamation, she located her spent arrow and held it in the air as proof. She put it in her quiver, ready to call it a day. But Sesshoumaru was obviously scanning about for her deer. Making a decision, he took off in the opposite direction of the camp. She had no choice but to follow.

"I told you, I can't do it," she mumbled at his back. But he kept moving to take them deeper into the woods.

"Clearly. But we can."

"You're gonna help me?" she asked, but she didn't really know what he could do. He no longer had his demon senses. Still, after a lifetime of hunting, he must have a few tricks up his sleeve.

They traveled on together in silence for several minutes. He took her this way and that, abruptly changing directions often and seemingly arbitrarily. But she trusted he knew what he was doing. She couldn't tell what he was looking for to lead him, but he moved with rapt purpose.

She hadn't much hope for their success. But even if by some miracle they got lucky, she was still a bit disappointed that she hadn't been able to bag the kill herself.

"Two on one, isn't that a little unfair?" she finally prompted, more bored than anything else now.

He turned back to her, and spoke softly so as not to blow their cover.

"Not at all. She has the advantage."

"You mean home field?" she asked in earnest. He, as he so often was, found himself confounded by her question. But he contextualized in an attempt to keep up with her. He shook his head.

"No. Animals are superior to humans."

He found himself confused again by the way she seemed to become irritated, and smirked despite himself. He hadn't been trying to offend her. Sometimes it actually was accidental.

"At least when it comes to using their senses for survival. I may not hear, but I know what she hears. I may not scent, but I know what she scents."

His days as a dog demon gave him an upper hand. And he had to admit, it was enjoyable attempting to tap into that part of himself again. As the days wore on, he was finding he had to work harder to remember.

"So, while we're out here, anymore killer booby traps I need to look out for?" The near miss left her understandably shaken, and wary of traipsing blindly through this forest. She was constantly watching her feet, and worried about getting back before it became too dark to see them.

"Hunters in these lands use a wide array of game traps. You simply must stay aware of your surroundings at all times."

That was a tall order. Even the most diligent human could not be aware of everything going on around them all the time.

"That's pretty vague, and impossible. How about an example?"

They took another turn now, and came upon another part of the creek. She wondered if he was following the water in hopes of finding their woodland friend.

"The trap you encountered was among the most vicious. They are laid about throughout the forests and mountains mostly. You may encounter a net, or cages."

"Cages?" she asked dubiously. "For what?"

He shrugged.

"It depends entirely on the game they wish to hunt. Different species require different methods. Neither would be particularly harmful for a man, simply inconvenient."

That didn't sound so bad. Though now she was paranoid about the possibility of getting tangled up in some ridiculous web.

"However, you must watch out for holes."

Her brow furrowed.

"Holes?"

"Yes. Deep pits dug into the ground. Hunters cover the tops with a deceptive flooring, and you will fall to the bottom. It's nothing you couldn't climb out from, but you could very well break your leg in the process."

Well that sounded lovely. Still, she would rather that than get caught up in a bear trap.

"What kind of animal do you catch with holes?" she couldn't help but wonder.

"All animals are susceptible to holes; some simply have more difficulty escaping. The hunters in these lands are not particularly talented. They are successful because they cast a wide net."

Her brow furrowed once more.

"Wide net?"

His firm grip on her wrist prompted her to ask what was wrong, but the stern look he gave her was more than clear; do not make a sound.

His eyes wide with purpose was an entrancing sight to behold. Deep pools of liquid violet drew her in, and she was tempted to stay. But when his pupils slid meaningfully to his left, she slowly turned her head. Their little deer had returned to nibble at a bush before the sun finally went down.

The deer was close; in range. When he slowly released her wrist, she knew what to do.

He didn't need words. He rarely did, and maybe that was how she'd gotten so good at communicating with him non verbally. But he told her with his eyes what to do. When to move, how to stand, and where to shoot.

She followed all of his commands. She didn't really need them; she knew what she was doing. But it was just so gratifying to have that connection. In that moment, they knew each other completely.

This time when she shot the deer, she hit it. But not where she meant to.

A pained, terrible yell tore through the forest when her arrow pierced through the poor thing's neck instead of between her eyes. She was still yelling, screaming her anguish, but she was down.

Kagome froze, mortified. She didn't want to hurt it. She didn't even want to kill it, really. But her friends needed to eat, so it needed to die. But she didn't need to suffer. Her poor aim caused the beautiful, innocent creature pain.

She remained frozen as Sesshoumaru closed the distance in a flash – impressively fast for a mortal – and knelt beside the thrashing animal. She saw him pull his large knife from his waist, and just like that, the screaming stopped.

She didn't want to watch, but she felt required to face what she had done head on. She had taken its life; she refused to close her eyes and turn her head now.

Kagome crossed the distance to join Sesshoumaru at the dead deer's side. With a firm rip, he pulled the arrow she'd shot from the neck it was still nestled in, and handed it to her. He spared her a glance, but her eyes were still zeroed in on that throat. On the holes her arrow made, and the large gash Sesshoumaru had.

Knife still in hand, he was looking over the fallen beast. Studying it. She knew what he was thinking even now.

It was too large to drag back to camp. Not to mention, the four of them were not going to eat that whole doe. Kagome felt a twinge of regret in that, because if you are going to kill an innocent to sustain you, she believed you should honor the sacrifice by making use of it all. But scavengers would come in the night and finish off whatever they didn't take, she was sure. And they would do well to not have an easy meal sitting so close to where they slept, lest they wish to join her.

No, they were just going to have to cut out the best parts, and leave the rest.

Sesshoumaru prepared to gut the poor thing, but Kagome's hand on his shoulder stopped him before the sharp blade made contact. He turned to her, thinking she might have a foolish objection last minute, but she'd surprised him.

"Take off your shirt."

He just stared at her. It was an odd time for such a request. Perhaps something in the hunt awakened things in the little miko that he'd thought were specific to demon bitches.

"We need it to carry the meat back. I- I didn't bring anything else."

She was right. As much as he would have enjoyed it, he couldn't expect her to shed any clothing for the task. And the haori he was currently wearing was not his own. It was a simple replacement he'd gotten in the last village, in an attempt to better conceal his identity. Wearing the crest of his house was not the sneakiest way to get him through the country. Besides, it didn't hurt to have an extra pair of clothes. Though this one looked like it was already being sacrificed. Oh well, he didn't particularly like it anyhow.

She watched him set his blade down to remove his clothing, and tried not to enjoy it too much. He tried not to look over to see if she was watching, but just for a second they were both failures.

He spread it out and lay it on the ground beside him, and gathered his knife back up.

He'd once told her he was excellent with any blade, and she was more than inclined to believe him. In no time, the belly was sliced up perfectly to gain access to the organs within. If he didn't remove his shirt, it would have been ruined with blood anyhow. His cuts may be clean, but that doe's gut sure wasn't. In that moment, he was actually thankful to not possess his keen sense of smell. But he was missing another of his senses.

His eyes instantly drew to the heart. Centuries of hunting and killing and slicing made his training and experience difficult to forget. He remembered being a pup, how his father had taught him his most basic skills.

Of course, the beasts they slayed were of the demon variety. Much larger and more challenging, but each one had a heart.

'Do you feel it, son?' Inu no Taisho asked Sesshoumaru as he sliced into his first kill. A boar demon. The kill was perfect. His execution was flawless. It had not been a challenge at all.

'Do you mean the hunger, father?'

He never yet cut open a living being, never seen its insides. Didn't know what was what, or where it went. But the instant he'd killed that boar, an intense pull guided him deep into its chest. Made him crave what was inside.

'Your instincts are excellent, Sesshoumaru. Follow them. Make me proud.'

He already had. His father had given him tips and pointers along the way. But everything Sesshoumaru had done on his first hunt had been what his instincts guided him to do. He was so very strong. A natural killer.

As if mesmerized, he turned back to his fresh kill. Slipped small clawed hands deep into the chest of his prey, covering himself up to his stripes in its blood. When he pulled back, he held the heart of his victim.

Holding it in both hands, the hunger persisted. Insisted. Increased. His youthful tongue came out to wet his eager lips. But first, he cut a glance to the Western Lord. Cautious, but intent.

With a wicked smile, his father nodded once.

Permission to follow his own heart had him feasting on that of another. Young fangs made quick work of the organ, and the strength of his enemy was now his own. Not that there was much of it within that low-level boar. But with time, his strength would grow, and so would that of his adversaries.

He'd never forget that powerful drive to feast on the heart of those he had conquered. He would not always obey it. As he aged, he found little need. But the lust was always there.

Now, crouching over this simple deer, he held its recently beating heart in his two large human hands... and felt nothing.

In fact, the idea of eating that thing was starting to turn his stomach. Had he been brought so low? Was he so weak, he could not handle the power of this brainless deer?

Had his instincts left him completely?

"Sesshoumaru?"

He turned to her, saw the questions in her eyes. She must have seen the trepidation in his.

Saying nothing, he placed the heart down onto his shirt, and felt an immense sense of loss. She must have seen that too.

"You know, I think I am doomed to scrub blood out of your clothes for all eternity."

He looked to her, and saw the awkward, yet genuine smile made just for him, and he couldn't help it. He smiled back. He didn't know why. It seemed his instincts were still there; they had just taken another form. Just like him.

Shaking his head, he turned back to his deer, and removed the next piece.

---

They got back to camp just after dark. Their failure to secure shelter in town had them sleeping outside for the first time in weeks. But spirits were high; they'd had a good run. Hopefully, the Western Lord will learn to keep his hair trigger fists better in check, but they weren't holding their breath.

All the best parts of the deer were salvaged, and Sesshoumaru dropped the bundle beside the roaring fire that had been started in his absence.

"Success!" Miroku praised, and began looking through the pile. "Excellent work, Kagome-sama."

"Thank Sesshoumaru. He's the one who killed her." Sesshoumaru shook his head.

"I merely ended her suffering. The miko captured her." She knew he was trying to share the praise, but it just reminded her of how she missed her shot and tortured the poor thing.

"Well, congratulations all around. I am thankful for your prowess. In return, allow me to prepare the feast for us."

"I'll help," said Sango. She took a minute to admire Sesshoumaru. He looked terrifying; shirtless and covered in blood. But damned if it wasn't doing it for her. She wished his brother was back already.

Kagome didn't come away unscathed either. From handling the organs, she was up to her elbows in deer blood. The smell was starting to get to her.

"Why don't you two go to the creek and wash up before dinner." Miroku was already preparing the meat to be cooked on the fire.

"Good idea. I'll get a towel."

When they made it there, Kagome crouched down and began scrubbing the blood off her arms. The water was cold, but clear, and it felt good to be clean. She would save her bath for when they weren't sleeping outside. Sesshoumaru opted not to be so picky.

It made sense. He was absolutely covered. And then, he decidedly wasn't.

Kagome didn't even hear him undressing behind her. But when he walked out into the stream, his bare ass and back crossed into her line of sight. His short hair made everything much more accessible to her eyes than he normally would have been. She took the opportunity to admire the toned thighs and calves before he fully submerged himself.

Shaking herself sober, she got up to make sure she was absolutely not looking by the time his head breached the surface. Shaking his hair free of moisture and treading water up to his neck, he looked about as happy as she had ever seen him. She forgot he was more of an outdoors kind of guy. She lightly dried her hands on the folded towel, and left it by his discarded hakama.

"You did well, miko." His unexpected address stopped her from making a clean exit. She turned around stiffly, with a smile to match.

"Couldn't have done it without you." But the sight of him, covered to the neck and actually grinning wide eased her tension considerably. The light from the moon brightened up the entire bank, and she found herself drawn to its reflection. She braved a few steps closer.

"Thanks again. For saving me. I can't believe I was so careless."

He didn't have his demon sight, but her fair features under the moonlight were magnetizing. He couldn't help but soak her in as he let the stream rush around his body. But it didn't take long to recall an unpleasant memory from earlier that evening, and he sobered.

"Hn. You must take better care. I will not always be there."

It was a harsh reminder, and enough to pull her from her trance. It was a somber thought to accept he would not always be around to help them, but the underlying message was even more painful.

He did not want to stay with her, and he wouldn't. The implication left her bitter and burning.

"Regardless of my preferences."

He must have seen her expression sour, and lament. But his amendment pulled her back in, back to him with crashing force.

Did he mean it? Did he wish to stay?

Perhaps he did. Maybe his duties were what was holding him back, not his distaste of her, and her kind. It made it better somehow. She could appreciate having duties after all. Ones you can never be free of.

It gave her solace, and she managed to smile coyly at him.

"I guess even the Lord of the West doesn't get everything he wants. Maybe you are just like the rest of us."

The smile he returned was soft, and contemplative. And his gaze was very warm.

"Perhaps in some things." His gaze suddenly went from warm to heated, and the intensity of it had her blushing. The moon above him seemed to make him glow, like some sort of fallen angel. But angels don't look at you like that.

"Are you certain you do not wish to bathe? You walked a very long way, followed by a relentless hunt." His question appeared genuine, but she thought she detected the barest hints of a taunt in there. Maybe she was imagining it. Maybe by now, she assumed he was always taunting her.

It was possible he only wanted plausible deniability.

And it was tempting. It certainly was. But she'd already decided, and she was going with her first instinct on this one.

"No thanks. That water looks cold."

The heat returned to his gaze again, and it filled her with a troubling mix of anticipation and dread.

"You wouldn't know it."

Her mind went blank while she froze for a second. She thought she knew what he was implying. Did he? Damn him and his plausible deniability.

She didn't remember him being so vague in the past. When he wanted something, he made it known. That, or he simply took it. Was being human exposing him to the vulnerability of rejection?

Maybe he just didn't care before. Does that mean he did now?

"Nah, I-I'm starved," she somehow managed. She hated herself a little bit. Him too. "So don't take too long. We won't start without you."

And just like that, the heat was gone. He was still smiling when he closed his eyes and rested on his back, doing his best not to be taken away downstream.

"Start without me. There is plenty to spare."

And then it was easy again. She was thankful for that. And a bit disappointed.

"But you killed it. And the alpha is supposed to eat first."

Sure, he wasn't their alpha, but let's be real. He was every bit an alpha, and surely considered himself such, regardless of his recent concessions. If he were still demon and deigned to combine with his brother's pack, it would for sure be him.

And Inuyasha wasn't here tonight. She had no problem regarding him that way. It felt natural.

"Then I suggest you hurry. Your friends look famished."

She could only look on, dumbfounded. Who was this man?

Yes, he'd acknowledged her supposed high rank in this pack before. The place she seemed to have within it, at even Inuyasha's behest. But they weren't even technically a real pack. More like a found family with good instincts. They all played along, and it seemed to work out pretty well for them.

But she had a feeling all that stuff meant a lot more to him than it did to any of them. Sometimes, it almost just felt like Inuyasha trying to fit in.

She saw him crack an eye at her still standing there, and in the moon's reflection, it looked like his eyes were gold again. Just for a second.

"I shall be along shortly," he assured her, and resumed his floating.

She took the hint. She took a moment to burn him into her memory just like that, and headed back to camp.

---

Sesshoumaru finally arrived, squeaky clean and ready to feast. He was drying his short black hair with the towel she had left him, and the cool winter air had his flesh flush with goosebumps. The muscles beneath his skin, which seemed to pull tightly over each firm slab, looked especially rigid; though the man himself appeared more relaxed than the group as a whole had ever observed. Miroku waged he could get away with some light teasing.

"You're gonna put an eye out with those glass cutters, my friend. You best cover yourself."

Sango shot the monk a dirty look. And though too proud to voice it, Kagome was inclined to agree with her. Nonetheless, she rose, and dug his trusty hoodie sweatshirt out from their luggage.

He looked like a regular college kid, out on a camping trip with his friends. For just a moment, Kagome liked to pretend it was so.

The others had already begun to dig in, but Kagome was true to her word and had waited for him to emerge. He seemed to notice this, and gave her an admonishing raise of his brow. She only smiled in reply, and reached for the coveted piece she had to offer him.

She remembered watching a documentary on National Geographic about a man who raised a pack of wolf cubs. Their parents had died in their infancy, so he took it upon himself – with all of his experienced knowledge on the subject – to teach them how to grow up in a pack like normal wolves. The man was the alpha to the little wolf puppies, until they grew large enough to edge him so far down the pack hierarchy that it was too dangerous for him to remain with them.

But she remembered one part very clearly. When teaching the wolves how to eat in a pack, he ate first, taking the heart and the liver of his kill for himself. They had the most nutrition, so they were his right. The lower wolves got to fight over the rest. Unbeknownst to them, the kill he dragged in beforehand already had the heart and liver removed for him to cook, and place back inside the dead beast. He would then remove the organs in front of them, to show them how a pack divides the meal after a kill.

She knew Sesshoumaru wasn't a wolf, but she reckoned there was some truth to his distant cousin's bestial nature, and certainly of pack dynamics. With all he'd done for her today, she wanted to do something nice for him. He probably needed reminders of his heritage now more than ever. And the way he'd immediately gone to remove the deer's heart first had not gone unnoticed.

The heart was fully cooked. She couldn't say whether to perfection, because she had no idea how to eat a heart. It was probably fairly tough as it was, so she assumed less was more. So long as it didn't get him sick. Swallowing her nerves, and high on anticipation, she extended her hand to the man sitting beside her.

He didn't seem to register the gesture at first, but Sesshoumaru was quick on the uptake. That's what caused a jolt of fear to shoot through Kagome when he made no move to accept it; he simply stared at it.

He didn't seem surprised or offended. Or grateful, for that matter. It was always so hard to tell with him, but if she had to venture, she would go with thoughtful. He was studying the organ in her hand so intently, he looked as if he'd completely zoned out. This worried her.

Her biggest fear was that she had done something wrong. The last thing she wanted was to upset him.

He'd already refused her heart once. Would he refuse this one as well?

Finally he turned to her, still giving nothing away as she held out her gift with mounting desperation.

"Your alpha left you in command, and the catch was yours. The right belongs to you."

She smiled. It was a sweet gesture, but not an incredibly tempting one. Even cooked, she had no desire to eat a heart.

"Actually, I'm more of a liver kind of gal."

He lifted his brow at the odd woman beside him.

"You ended her suffering. Her heart belongs to you."

He was looking at her again, in that cursed, assessing way. He always seemed to be paying such close attention that she couldn't help but squirm. She did her best to keep it together, though he likely noticed her discomfort. Finally, he smirked. It was something, and she could breathe again.

"You are a strange human."

Ah, just like old times. Except that couldn't be further from the truth.

He removed the heart from her hands, and the weights and knots in her with it.

"Likewise."

Then she picked up her roasted deer liver, and decided the effort made it all the more satisfying. She vowed to hunt her own food more often... at least once in a while.

And Sesshoumaru tore into his heart with as much poise as he could muster. It was decidedly more difficult without his razor-sharp fangs. But he was relieved to find he still enjoyed the taste.

---

It wasn't much later than that when Inuyasha returned. He'd interrupted Miorku's story time and the monk nearly jumped out of his skin. That got the biggest laugh of the night, and even Sesshoumaru got caught flashing his teeth at the perfectly timed surprise entrance.

The hanyou was quick to accept the surplus venison. His half-brother seemed to enjoy him eating their scraps, and made more than one snarky comment regarding it. Inuyasha responded just as eloquently as usual.

The fire was still blazing; the others had collected more than enough wood while Kagome was hunting down dinner. And the moon was so low and so light that each pack member could easily make out the others, regardless of their species.

"So this was a bust. We ain't seen trace of those assholes yet." Inuyasha finished the roasted meat in his hand and wiped the excess off on his robe.

"It is as expected. Our target is their compound up north, we are simply being thorough. It is just as valuable to know where your enemy is not."

They'd been over the travel plan ad nauseum. But now that they were getting closer, it was time to start going over the specifics. The others listened, but remained silent as they let the half-brothers hash things out.

"Kay, so how much farther to the compound already? Are we close?"

"Indeed. We shall reach the Northern border in two days time, barring no unfortunate mishaps or additional information come to light. From there, the journey becomes more difficult."

"Because of the cats?" Inuyasha asked. He knew they were looking for tigers, of course. But his brother had told him there would be more than just them to contend with up there.

"Precisely. The Northern Lands are ruled by the panther tribe, however all of the big cat houses lay claim to a respective province."

Though completely separate tribes, all of the cats were distant, distant cousins of one another. Like the wolves and dogs were, though the felines had a bit more solidarity.

"They get along?" he asked. Sesshoumaru shook his head.

"They are constantly at odds. But they stick with their own against any outside threat. I have dealt with the Northern Lord for centuries, but it is uncertain whether he would assist in bringing his cousins to justice."

The North and the West were technically allies, but not chummy by any terms. After their last battle, a truce had been called. A live and let live deal, basically. So long as they stayed out of each other's way, there was no need for conflict. And though the tigers violated that agreement, they were not the official ruling house. Sesshoumaru could force justice to be served, were he demon. But now, his position was precarious and uncertain. He was going to have to tread lightly.

"Well, maybe we should ask him. Don't you think we should hit up your buddy before crashing this tiger compound?"

"The risk is too great. He could just as well tip off his kinsmen and our chance will be lost. No, we must go for the tigers ourselves."

Not to mention, there was chance once the Northern Lord learned he was human, he would make a play for his lands.

"Alright. So two days 'til panther country, then what?"

"We travel up to the Northern Mountains; that is where things will become challenging. The pumas control the mountains, and they are a bloodthirsty and... exclusionary brood. They fight very hard to keep the mountains for themselves, and even go to great lengths to ward off neighboring kinsmen to keep them under their rule. They are even less welcoming of other species."

Inuyasha gave an exasperated sigh, but he was resigned. They were committed to this plan; he was just going to have to work with what he was given. He was pretty good at that.

"Great. Anything else?"

Inuyasha felt a sense of dread when he saw his brother's slight grimace.

"The Northern Mountains are treacherous for humans to navigate. As such, there are none who reside there. However, if spotted with your fire cat, they will assume some sort of invasion, and swiftly take us down."

"Keh, whatever. I'll just use Tetsusaiga if they even try it," he boasted dismissively.

"Do you not think if it were possible, that father would have claimed the North for himself long ago?" The logic deflated the hanyou somewhat. "Your sword is formidable, but it can only take down one hundred demons at a time. They have thousands, and an army even superior to This Sesshoumaru's." The others gawked wide-eyed at his concession. Noting this, Sesshoumaru made an amendment. "In size, of course. My soldiers can best them any day on skill alone. But those foolish cats multiply so often you would think they were rabbits."

Cats outnumbered dog demons exponentially. Inuyoukai numbers had actually been dwindling for centuries, while the cat population only seemed to grow. It was one of the main reasons mating, or even rutting outside the race was highly looked down upon.

But the discrepancy made the inu's rule over the West that much more impressive.

"We will be forced to operate with the utmost discretion. Should we be spotted, it will be over."

This was going to make things difficult. The distance was one thing, but soon they would be forced into hiding. Inuyasha didn't want to think of what would happen if any of them got captured.

"Okay, so what's past the mountains?"

"Northeast of the mountains lies our compound. If Rin is not there, there will at least be those who can lead us to her. There are other compounds, I simply do not know where to find them."

Inuyasha did not want to ask what exactly they were going to do once they got in there. He had an idea, but they hadn't gone over the specifics. He figured Sesshoumaru would clue him in when the time came. He wondered if he even knew.

"What's beyond the tiger compound?" he wondered. Sesshoumaru looked uncomfortable in that moment, and it intrigued him.

"This One is uncertain. It is farther than I have ventured, and even farther than my maps illustrate." It was an uneasy confession. He did not like to admit being ignorant, but he would not deny that he was.

He should have taken the time to venture further when he was demon, but he simply had no good reason to go up that far north in the past. If he ever was again, he vowed to leave no blade of grass untread.

Inuyasha was satisfied for now. By the silence of the others, it seemed the rest of the pack was too.

"Alright then. I guess we're on schedule. Might as well rest up and enjoy the nice fire and food while we have it."

"Indeed." Sesshoumaru relaxed his posture. There was no point in fretting needlessly until they knew exactly what they were in for.

"Speaking of which, this venison is incredible. Who caught it? Was it you, Sango?" Inuyasha threw an arm around his woman, and she shook her head.

"Nope, not this time."

"Miroku then?" he asked, turning to the monk.

"Not I, old friend." Miroku smiled back at the hanyou, who then threw a suspicious side eye back over to Sesshoumaru.

"Keh, don't tell me the bastard made himself useful for once."

"It was Kagome," Sango finally informed him. The miko beamed at him hopefully. She'd hoped to impress him.

"Pfft. Yeah, right. Nice try." Her face dropped as Inuyasha brushed off the notion.

"We all love Kagome, but we also know her skill with a bow needs some work."

"Inuyasha!" Sango scolded incredulously.

"What? I mean, she's great against an enemy, don't get me wrong. But when it comes to hunting, she's a total dud."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Inuyasha seemed oblivious to both the sudden tense air, and his half-brother's glare.

"Inuyasha. I caught the deer," Kagome finally insisted tightly.

"But not by yourself, right? Who were you helping?" He wore a cocky grin, like he'd just won a match, still unaware of the scowls, and death glares being leveled at him.

"Never mind. You're right." Sesshoumaru's head snapped over to the miko at her curt reply. He wanted her to be the one to put the half breed in his place. Set him straight. He was disappointed that it appeared she didn't intend to.

"There, see. You can't fool me. I ain't as dumb as you all think."

He suddenly noticed the change in Kagome's demeanor.

"Ah, C'mon Kags, don't be mad. Hey, I wanted to tell you how pretty you look today."

"Whatever," she dismissed his lame compliment hotly.

"No, I'm serious. You are looking really good lately. Like, the hottest I've ever seen you. Everyone can tell."

"He's right, Kagome, you look amazing," Sango agreed. Inuyasha's arm was still slung over her shoulders.

"Thank you," she finally said, a little uncomfortable with the sudden attention.

"Hmm, maybe I should borrow some of that makeup, spruce myself up too." Sango noticed how all the guys had been looking at her friend lately. After Inuyasha's statement, she wondered if maybe she should get in on the action.

He leaned in closer to her, grinning wide.

"Who you kiddin? You don't need any makeup. You look amazing without it."

Kagome tried not to look to hurt by his statement. To her, he was insinuating that she did need it. She watched as he rubbed his nose into Sango's, and decided she couldn't take anymore. She'd had enough.

She got up, and made her way to her backpack. Miroku and Sesshoumaru watched intently as she grabbed a small notebook from it, and by the time she made to leave the camp, the other two had noticed as well.

"Hey, where ya goin?" Inuyasha asked her.

"I've been recording our daily progress. I need to journal it before I go to sleep."

She rushed off, not wanting to explain herself further. Sesshoumaru's eyes remained on her retreating form until she was out of sight, trying to discern where exactly she was running off to.

Inuyasha shouted after her.

"Okay, well don't go too far, in case a demon comes."

She clenched her jaw at his departing remark.

Of course. Because she was totally useless, right? Completely helpless on her own.

"Sure."

---

Kagome found herself down by the creek again, where she'd washed herself clean of deer blood just a few hours ago. The moon was larger, and lower, and the reflection off the cleansing stream seemed to illuminate the surroundings even more prominently. The small patch of earth was glowing like a beacon in the otherwise dark and sinister forest, and she a beacon within that as her natural light increased its prominence even still.

It wouldn't be long before that moon above would be new again. Kagome worried where in this dangerous cat territory they were breaching her friend would be at his most vulnerable. But her thoughts quickly strayed.

Gazing up at that large moon, the notebook in her hand was forgotten. She both hated and loved how innocuous shows of nature had her thoughts constantly drifting to him. The moon and trees were things that always drew her mind to Inuyasha, whether she wanted them to or not. Inescapable in their ubiquity, he was inescapable too.

She wondered, when her mind plagued her so often with the source of her obsession, how it was even possible for him to think of her so little. It seemed to her like everything she had ever done had been for him. How could he in turn be so callous, and careless with her heart? Her fragile emotions?

She supposed it really highlighted the one-sidedness of her devotion.

He wasn't bad. Just a little dim, and a lot clueless. But she felt that even though she was doing her best to be accepting and accommodating of his budding relationship with her good friend, he didn't seem to be taking any considerations with her in return.

Shaking herself, she opened her notebook and tapped the pen upon the blank page. She didn't bother dating her entries; she'd long since lost track. Not that it mattered. Gazing up at the moon, she tried to look through it as she attempted to rein in her wayward thoughts and focus them.

I am Kagome Higurashi, she wrote. And then nothing.

It had not bolstered her inspiration as she had hoped. Staring through her name, as she had with the moon only sent her thoughts on a kamikaze to the same destination. She was starting to get depressed.

What did he know? He hadn't even been around lately to observe her progress. Any time spent with the group went almost exclusively to Sango. And she could understand, in a way. But she liked to think that if she started seeing someone, she would still find time to check in on her best friend.

At least she would be gracious enough not to outright insult him in front of everyone.

Did he really have no faith in her abilities?

Did he even see her as a woman? Had he ever?

Maybe not. Maybe that was the problem.

What did he know?

He knew her. He knew her better than anyone, she supposed. And if he saw her as some kind of unremarkable joke, perhaps there was a kernel of truth in it.

She felt a familiar sting in her eyes she had grown to know all too well, and for a moment she tried to will the feeling away. But her resistance was weary. It had been a long day. A long week. A long fucking fortnight. A long couple years even. Long and hard and so incredibly taxing.

And what did she have to show for it? A couple nasty scars, a broken heart... Irreversible damage to her self worth. She needed release.

She sobbed into her knees, gathering them to her chest, she placed her notebook aside let out her stress and frustration in the only way she knew how. A way she knew too well. It was pathetic, but cathartic. She always felt much better after a good cry. Once she got it out of her system, she could return to face her friends, and perhaps be worn out enough to get some sleep before she was forced to dwell on herself for any length of time. The topic of her was one she did not like being forced to consider for any extended period.

"Miko."

His pleasant voice scared the wits out of her, but embarrassment immediately took hold. As much as she appreciated a good cry, she did not like doing it in front of others. Especially not him. He already thought she was pathetic and weak. She hated making him right.

She tried to gather herself as he took an uninvited seat on the ground beside her, but she knew it was pointless.

She sniffed as she wiped the moisture from her cheeks and eyes, and tried to regain control of her emotions while pointedly avoiding looking at him.

"Are you alright?"

She could hear the concern there. She was probably the only person who could detect it in his monotone. But there was a soft edge to the ice he purposely and practicably portrayed.

"I'm fine," she insisted, hating the tremor in her voice. "It's just been a long day."

She was still avoiding him, so she didn't see his disapproving scowl. She still insisted on lying to him. It was a habit he longed to break her of. He thought some progress had been made, but apparently he still had work to do.

"Indeed," he decided to agree instead. There would be time to correct her behavior later. Right now, it appeared she needed something else. But what, he could not exactly discern.

She was right. It had been a long day. But one that only seemed to improve as it progressed. He thought things had been going relatively well. Until his idiot brother made his premature return.

"The hanyou is a fool."

She sniffed again, and resumed drying her face with the sleeve of her jacket.

It was nice to hear at the moment. But as good as it felt to bash him, she knew it was pointless.

Sesshoumaru was always good for cutting down his brother, but it didn't make Inuyasha any less right. He would do her no favors by simply avoiding the truth.

"He wasn't lying." Sesshoumaru continued to watch her. Though her tears had subsided, she was now using the nearly full moon as a distraction from facing him.

"That's at least one thing you have in common. Your father must have been a very honest man."

He was becoming more displeased by the second, and he furrowed his brow slightly at the display.

"It is not the truth." She managed a short, humorless laugh.

"Yes it is; he was right. I didn't kill the deer on my own." She paused a moment, and turned her head away from him. Mentally, she added that he was right about the makeup too. He'd never told her she looked nice. Never even once complimented her appearance until today. She saw how men had been reacting. She just wasn't a natural beauty like Sango, or Kikyo.

Sesshoumaru frowned at her, waiting fruitlessly for her to finally turn and regard him. He looked down between them and saw her discarded notebook at her side. He stared at it a moment in silence. Stared at her name. But unlike her, he wasn't simply looking past the pen strokes. Unlike her, he found himself duly motivated.

"Who are you?"

She scoffed, and placed her ear down on her knees. But he was weary of this display.

"No, I really would like to know. What happened to the woman who took Naraku down with her arrow? The woman who never hesitates to put any demon in his place, no matter how powerful."

She didn't answer. Still didn't turn to meet his intimidating gaze. She knew she couldn't handle it if she did. She couldn't take his censure at the moment, and she refused to break out in tears in front of him.

But the relentless man persisted.

"The miko I know would never allow anyone to make her feel lesser. Certainly not an uncouth, ignorant half breed. She cares not for the opinions of others, because she knows herself. Her own opinion is the only one that has ever been of any consequence to her."

He saw she intended to be difficult, and he was tired of waiting. So he boldly weaved his fingers through her hair, and gently coaxed her to finally look at him.

"What happened to that brave, fearless priestess who makes any to underestimate her or count her out painfully aware of his folly, often to his great dismay. Because she is not here."

She knew he could see the red in her eyes. The puffiness. The weakness. But when he released her, she couldn't turn away. The endless sea in his eyes; the angry determination demanded her obedience, and she could not resist him.

"I miss that miko. I liked her."

He did? Why? Why would he possibly?

But then, why would he possibly lie?

She anticipated his admonishment, his condemnation, his irritation.

She hadn't anticipated his patience, his concern... his authenticity.

He was captivating. And she could not simply look through him, or avoid him. Unlike her, he could not be ignored.

"Tell me," he seemed to beg, and she yearned to give him what he wanted. "why would any human waste time pining over one who does not return her affections? What sense does it make to want someone who is not intelligent enough to want you in return? I will never understand it."

He made it sound so cut and dried. But how could he ever understand? There was probably nothing on this earth he desired, that he could not have.

Then she realized, there was.

If she wanted to make him understand, she could point him straight towards his lust for his half-brother's sword. The one she'd helped him retrieve.

But maybe another time.

"If the hanyou cannot realize his great fortune at having the Shikon Miko hear his word above all others, then he is every bit the fool I had always assumed."

She could do naught but stare back into his earnest features. She didn't know what to say.

He was trying to make her feel better, and she appreciated that. But it didn't change anything. It didn't change the truth.

"You still do not believe me."

With a heavy sigh, he looked back down to the space between them. His eyes cut to hers for a moment, and he picked up her notebook.

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously, and tried to remember if she had written anything embarrassing in there. But he wasn't flipping through her notes. He held the book in front of him, still open to the same page she had, and he reached for the pen still held firmly in her grasp.

He easily wrested it from her, and after inspecting the strange utensil he's seen her use before, he tested it out by drawing a line under the sentence she had written.

"We are making a list," he announced, scooting a little closer. She only looked on suspiciously.

"I want you to tell me something about yourself that is true. Something impressive."

She looked at him like he'd just informed her he was Napoleon and had a castle on the sun, but he was not deterred in the slightest.

He decided to get the ball rolling.

I killed Naraku, she watched him write in the line below her name.

"Now you do one," he demanded. She only cocked an eyebrow.

"So you're speaking in the first person now, but only when you use my name?" she taunted incredulously. He smirked at her.

"I see I do not need to put down 'I am incredibly humorous.'"

She just stared back at him in disbelief as he waited on patiently. But only for a moment.

He lowered his pen again, and added another to the list.

I travel through time

She looked down at the pad, and back up to him. His expectant demeanor – and experience – told her his lordship was not going to let up. So with a huff, she gave a modest eyeroll and thought on it.

"Let's see. I am... a talented archer."

"I suppose I may add that you are incredibly humorous." He smiled when she scoffed, but proceeded to write down her reply. Then he went again.

I am powerful

His eyes were heavy then, appreciative. She blushed at the compliment. Coming from him, and knowing what high regard he placed in power, it made her feel lighter.

"I am compassionate." At least, she liked to think so. He seemed willing to agree, as he added it to the list. Though she got the feeling there were no wrong answers here.

She didn't know how helpful all this was going to be, but she found herself eager to learn more of the things he seemed to like about her. But his next answer shot ice water through her veins.

"I purified the Shikon no Tama. Hn, perhaps we should have mentioned that sooner."

Her eyes flew wide at his mention of the sacred jewel. Sometimes, she forgot that it was the root of all his problems. That she was...

How long before he put it all together? He was a smart guy, surely he would figure it out soon enough.

What then? Would he hate her? How could he not?

How could she ever tell him now? Her honesty was so important to him, and she had been lying to him this whole time. She prayed he would never find out. She just hoped he didn't start asking questions about the jewel. About her wish...

Seeing her flounder, he opted to go again.

"I am beautiful."

And her eyes cut to his, and she hurt.

It wasn't a lusty, heated gaze like he'd given her back at the stream. It was something else in those alluring, hypnotizing eyes that was just for her. Something kind. Something tender.

It made her ache in the most painful way. Ache for how endeared to her he was becoming. Ache for how much she loathed herself in return.

This exorcise was supposed to make her feel better about herself. But she felt even worse than before.

But she refused to let him know it. She went along with this process, and by the end, they had rather generous and overly flattering list of her most impressive traits and feats.

Finally please with their progress, he pulled the list back to himself and started making marks on the page. He wouldn't let her see what he was doing, and when she tried to look, he shielded her view.

"What are you doing?" she asked. His eyes never left the page.

"Consolidating. I am reducing the list to only the most important answers, for efficiency."

She watched him continue to make scratch marks on the paper, and found herself somewhat eager to discover what it was about her he seemed to appreciate the most.

"There." Finally, he finished, and looked over his completed list to make certain he was finished. He seemed satisfied.

"This is all you ever need to know." But as she reached out to take the notebook, he slammed it shut in his hand. She looked at him questioningly as he continued to hold it out of her grip.

"When you doubt yourself, by way of some fool's notions or your own, I would like you to look at this list. In here you will find the only facts that are of any importance." He handed it to her at last, and she reached out to grab it. But he didn't let go.

"And you will know it is the truth. Why?"

"Because you never lie," she realized, transfixed in everything that was him. He smiled, and it only dug her deeper.

"Correct." He released the book, and she looked down in awe at the item in her hands. She began to open it, but a shrill scream from the camp pierced through the air, and the moment quite efficiently. They hardly needed a second to look at one another before they took off running back to their packmates.

They arrived to find flames flying up the arm of their monk's purple robe. He was screaming, trying to hit it out, while Inuyasha and Sango were assisting in trying to beat the fire off of him.

Kagome ran to her pack, and pulled out one of her bottles of water. Pushing the others aside, she emptied the full bottle onto his sleeve, successfully dousing the impressive flame.

"Are you alright?" Inuyasha demanded, and pulled back the charred remains of his clothing. His arm appeared to be intact.

Kagome's heart was racing. With a hand on her chest, she watched the others surround the clumsy monk, and berate him for not being careful when he got near the campfire.

She was really going to have to have a talk with him about stop, drop and roll.

As the others yelled at/fussed over the almost burn victim, Kagome returned to her pack to replace the empty bottle. She would refill it tomorrow.

She was about to return her notebook too. But with a look to the others, and seeing them all distracted, she quickly flipped to the page that contained Sesshoumaru's list.

When she did, it took a moment to register. When she realized what she was looking at, she became so weak she'd nearly dropped the book on the ground.

She chanced another look to Sesshoumaru, to see him still distracted with the mayhem by the campfire, and looked back down to her paper again.

He had run a single line through ever single entry the two of them had made. The only thing that remained was her original entry, with a large, defining circle drawn around it.

In that moment, she had realized her folly.

She thought it was over between them. She had been resigned to the fact that the two of them could not get involved romantically, because his future as a demon was uncertain.

But now, she realized that she didn't care.

They may not have a future together. In fact, it was entirely likely they would not. But she decided that any time they would be awarded would be enough. He made her better. She wanted to be with him.

And maybe, just maybe, it would be worth the pain.

---

A/N: Thanks for the response, peeps! As always, I appreciate the feedback, and the fact that you're reading, and just all of you in general =)