Disclaimer:
I do not own The Big Bang Theory.
A/N:
This story is definitely about Sheldon and Amy, but it will be an AU and OOC and will start in 2010.
I got this idea during Memorial Day in my country and the fact that this story can be true to a lot of people in a lot of countries around the world.
The story will revolve around dealing with loss and how it affects someone. If it's a trigger to anyone who decides to read this story, please do it carefully.
I have no intention of offending anyone with my story.
The Italic part is the end of chapter 4.
Chapter 5:
"It's… it's Dr. Fowler."
"Dr. Fowler… Amy? the new lecturer?"
"Yes."
"What about her?"
"I met her on Memorial Day near a coffee place I go to every year… it's… well it's close to a supporting group for people who lost their loved ones in the army…"
"You went-?"
"No. I never entered, but I go to the coffee shop next to it every year. I read about the supporting group a while back, but never had the courage to go in, so I end up in the coffee shop next to it…"
"So you met Amy in the coffee shop?"
"Outside it… she… well… she goes to the meetings…"
"Oh…"
"She told me that she knows it's hard to enter but that it helps. She gave me her card and everything, but I never used it…"
"I then ran into her later on that day in Griffith Observatory… and we talked… and it was…"
"Hard?" Leonard asked carefully.
"No… it was easy… since she could have an idea of what I was going through… or because she's a stranger… I don't know… but it was easy to open up to her… and I felt guilty…"
"Guilty? Why?"
"I felt like I'm cheating on Liz. She was the only person, other than Meemaw I could talk to about everything… and now this stranger woman comes and I can just talk to her?!"
Leonard didn't know how to respond to that. There is nothing that he could say that will make Sheldon feel otherwise.
"And today I saw Amy again… and it was weird… and I didn't know how to react… what to say to her… and then she came to my office…"
"She came to your office?"
"Yes… and we talked… and she told me she felt the same way about what happened… and when she left, we shook hands… and… I don't know what I felt… but I didn't feel it in a long, long time Leonard…"
There was a tense silence that Sheldon broke.
"I'm scared, Leonard." Sheldon whispered.
"What is it that you scared of, buddy?" Leonard asked quietly.
"I don't know... I feel too comfortable with Amy. It took me years to feel comfortable around you..."
"Maybe it's a good thing." Leonard tried to comfort his friend.
"How can it be a good thing?"
"Well... you'll have someone to talk to - "
"I have you for that." Sheldon cut him off.
"Yes. You do, don't get me wrong, but Amy can be more helpful in this situation since both of you know what it's like to lose someone in military operation."
"I don't know..."
There was another tense silence that Sheldon broke with a whispered sentence.
"It took me years to tell you about Liz... I can't understand why it was so easy for me to open up to Amy about her."
"I don't know buddy. I guess sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers if they share something in common with you."
"How so?"
"I don't know, but I do remember that when I first moved in here it was easier for me to talk about my love for comic books and science fiction and not feel like a child, since you loved them too, and that was before we became actual friends." Leonard said with a small smile.
"I don't know..." Sheldon said not convinced.
He didn't know why it was so easy for him to talk to Amy about Liz and it frustrated him. It never was easy for him to talk to people in general, other than Liz and his Meemaw, so why all of a sudden it was easy for him to talk to Amy, and of all things he could have talk to her, the easiest thing to talk to Amy about, was about Liz.
There was an awkward silence before Sheldon got up and went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.
"I would appreciate it if you won't tell Penny anything about what we discussed." Sheldon said to Leonard.
"I won't. I promise."
"Thank you."
"Do you want me to say something in particular if Penny would ask about yesterday?" Leonard asked him.
"I don't know. I hope she wouldn't ask."
"It's Penny, buddy. We both know full well that she will ask about it and that she will try and get your story out of me."
"I honestly don't know. Tell her I was talking crazy things... that might convince her. You are all thinking I'm somewhat of a crazy person, so this one time I will use that in my favor."
"Alright." Leonard nodded.
"For now, I think that I'm safe as long as she won't offer you sex in exchange for that information." Sheldon said as he went to his room to get ready for the day.
Under other circumstances Leonard would have probably been more annoyed, but he decided to let it slide this time. He actually thought that Sheldon had a point.
About half an hour later, Sheldon and Leonard were on their way to the university for another day of work.
Sheldon tried his best to concentrate on his work, but his mind kept coming back to that strange feeling he had when he and Amy shook hands yesterday.
He didn't know what it was or how to feel about it. All he knew was that he felt even worse about everything. Yes, it was easy to talk to Amy, and yes it was somewhat nice to have someone to talk to who could actually understand him, but Sheldon felt bad that it was so easy for him to talk to a stranger about Liz, when it took him so many years to talk about her with Leonard, who was his best friend.
Back in her office, Amy had similar thoughts while she was working on her next class. She thought of yesterday and that weird feeling she felt when she and Sheldon shook hands when she left his office. Amy also thought of how easy it was to open up to someone about Nathan and Aaron. It was never easy for her to talk about them. Even during the support group, it was hard to talk about them, let alone when she only started to go to the meetings, but something about Sheldon made her open up to him so easily and she could not, for the life of her, tell what it was exactly.
She didn't know if it was the way he looked so lost when she first met him, or the fact that she met him later during that day, in her favorite place to go to when she misses Aaron and Nathan the most, Griffith Observatory, or maybe that he knows how it feels to lose someone who served in the army, and he wasn't in her support group. Maybe the fact that he was a complete stranger and the fact she thought that she will never see him again, helped her open up to him. Even though she did give him her card, so she knew he might call her, though something about him gave her a feeling that he would not use the card.
When Amy saw Sheldon at Caltech, she felt numb. She thought she will never see him again, but there he was, eating lunch at Caltech, and apparently he worked there… and not as a guest lecturer like her current position there, so she thought she better make the best out of the situation and try and be in good terms with Sheldon. As she told him yesterday, it was kind of nice to have someone to talk to, who could understand what she was going through in the last 9 years, but then they shook hands, and that feeling she had when they shook hands once again woke up her guilt and she didn't know how to act from now on.
Amy shook her head and tried to focus on her work, to no avail. She decided to go out and freshen up before her class.
She thought that she was in luck that she only had one class today, so she can finish work rather early today.
Amy was sitting outside on a bench, soaking the sun while Sheldon was sitting in his office.
They both sighed heavily and thought about the other day. They felt guilty that was easy for them to talk about their loved ones to a stranger, and that weird feeling when they shook hands did not leave their mind.
That warmth they felt, almost as if someone you cherish, hugs you in comfort. And when the thought of comfort crossed their minds they realized that maybe that's what it was; a feeling that there is someone out there that can understand what they are going through and maybe, just maybe, can comfort them in a way that only someone who experienced such enormous loss, can comfort them.
They still didn't know how they will act around each other, but they felt somewhat relieved when they realized that what they experienced was comfort.
It has to be it. they thought in determination.
A/N:
Thank you so much for reading.
I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update this story, but I was pretty stuck and didn't know how to continue, and this is why this chapter is a bit shorter.
I hope you will enjoy it, and as I always say – I did not forget about my stories and I'm doing my best to keep writing them when I can and when I'm in the right state of mind.
Reviews are always welcomed.