Only Human

by effinsusie

[COMPLETE] Winter is coming, and Kagome is prepared. A thoughtless wish binds Kagome to Sesshoumaru. Winner- FC Awards 2021 Q2, Best Angst- 3rd place Winner-FC Awards 2021 Q3, Best AU/AR- 3rd Place

31. Beast of Burden

There was only darkness. And pain. Her hands hurt.

Gripping Tetsusaiga with all her might, Kagome lay motionless in a pile of rancid ooze.

Was this death? Consumed in nothing, no sight, no sound. Only pain.

Time stretched on, it could have been minutes or months, but she did not let go of the sword. Something beyond thought told her to keep her grasp firm.

Finally, that heavy blanket of power and sludge began to dissipate, and she had the call to stand, so she did.

Popping up from the tomb floor was effortless, and the first thing she saw was Sesshoumaru.

The look on his face was priceless, and she wanted to laugh. But she couldn't.

But she didn't know fear, either. Only indignation drove her forward, as she stepped from the mess he had made, to swing the sword in his face. Not to strike, however; she was scolding him. Taunting him.

Incredulous words were thrown, but as she was screeching her blasphemous tirade, her attention was drawn to the edge of the tomb.

Rin, and Inuyasha both were in a cage fit for a dog, and they were screaming. Arms sticking out between thin bars; they were reaching for her, yelling for help, but her eyes were on the Daiyoukai only meters away.

He was looking right at her, and suddenly his gaze turned red; a familiar glow that filled her with terror.

She could hear the others screaming in the background, but she was paralyzed. Rendered motionless by that terrifying gaze.

And he was getting closer. He was coming for her; his evil intent was more than clear; he wanted to kill her. He'd already tried. He would try again. And this time, he would succeed.

She wanted to run, but she couldn't move. She had never been so frightened.

He was close enough to touch her now, close enough to flex those poisonous claws right in her face.

She knew she was going to die, and all she could do was wait for him to kill her.

He dipped closer still, razor sharp fangs shining bright in the darkened tomb, and they were descending on her mortal flesh. Making her peace with the kami, she simply closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable...

Then, there was only pleasure.

The tomb faded away, taking with it all of the bones and death and dark, and she was laying back; fully nude on lush sheets made of the finest satin.

Peering down between her legs; glowing red eyes looked up at her through mussy, silvery white bangs.

Those red eyes were fearsome, but she knew no fear. There was warmth in that gaze, there was safety.

There was love.

His eyes crinkled mischievously in the corners, and his lips on her sex had her arching in pleasure.

She moaned.

His tongue was doing wonderful things to her, and though it made her throw back her head and close her eyes in unmanageable bliss, she forced herself to take in that crimson gaze that was focused intently on her.

His mouth was performing feats she was all too familiar with by now, but still in no way used to.

Watching chiseled perfection lavish his attention on her swollen flesh had that unmistakable pressure coiling tighter within her, threatening to break.

She moaned, begged, pleaded for what she knew he could so easily give her. Something he'd given her countless times by now, but she was greedy. He'd made her a glutton.

But he would never deny her, this she knew. On the contrary, he would only enable this hedonistic habit he'd introduced her to.

So as his soft, velvety tongue continued to work his magic; she laid back impatiently and awaited the inevitable.

She broke.

At the peak of her pleasure, Kagome cried out, arching her hips into his handsome face. When she opened her eyes, she was trembling.

Halfway between dream and awake, she saw those burning red eyes morph slowly to violet, and mussy silver bangs turned jet black.

Panting heavily, she registered the clawless hands hooked around her thighs, and smiled at the crinkled edges of amused eyes. That thing - that thing that reminded her of love - was still there.

The last quake rolled through her, and she collapsed. Only then did he remove his lips from her quivering sex.

He wiped the substantial juices off his mouth using her bent, naked thigh, and slowly inched his way up her body. She was all too quick to receive him, wrapping weakened arms around broad shoulders and humming in satisfaction.

"That is my favorite way to wake up," she croaked, her voice raspy and raw. He hovered over her a moment, pressing his forehead to hers.

"With my tongue between your thighs?"

Before she could answer; he took her lips softly, but urgently; slipping his hands under her back when she pressed herself to him, and wove her fingers through the hairs at his nape.

When he finally pulled back; he offered a patient smile as he waited for her reply.

"With you," she clarified, and earned another, much longer kiss.

He relaxed his weight, shifting his arms to support him on either side of her flushed, naked body. She could feel his erection dragging against her, telling her that sometime in the night he had removed his pants to join her in nudity.

He was still grinning up at her as she combed through his bangs, and kissed her wrist swiftly when she moved to stroke his unstriped cheek.

"You like me better like this." The accusation was bereft of any hurt or condemnation. Twinkling eyes betrayed only amusement, and lingering hints of arousal as he held her doting gaze to place kisses above her breasts.

Her hickey was still present, purple and prominent right above her pulse point, and he placed a quick peck there as well. The only regret he held for becoming demon the night before was that his youki saw fit to heal him of the mark she had bestowed, despite his preferences to have it remain.

Though he had a feeling; he could likely persuade her to give him another.

"After last night," she informed him, cupping his face in her hands, "I'm pretty taken with your youkai self as well. I don't think I will ever be scared of your demon form again."

Devious eyes lit up, and she giggled when he extended his tongue to drag over her collar bone.

"Then my plan worked."

Yes, his motive – one of them – for using his time as a demon to give her a night of passion became clear in that moment, and she had to say it worked like a charm.

How could she ever think of stripes, silver, and searing red eyes without picturing those fearsome traits squeezed helplessly between her thighs, giving her greater pleasure than she had ever known to be possible?

How could those fangs ever instill fear, when she knew how perfect they felt lightly grazing her lips, and her chest, and her tender, overstimulate bud?

"I'm surprised you can talk," she moaned, closing her eyes to bask in the attention his greedy mouth was lavishing on her kiss-burnt breasts. Delightful bites and bruises littered her creamy flesh, and she held the back of his head to encourage his continued assault. "Your jaw must be killing you."

The way his tongue played with her tight peaks brought back memories of only hours ago, and reminded her of all the amazing things it had done lower on her body.

Gods he was addictive. He'd already made her a fiend.

"Another benefit of being youkai," he finally deigned, after an extended tour of her chest. "Were I to attempt such a feat as a human, I might have injured something." A wicked smile graced his features as he shifted up on his knees. "But I shall endeavor to find out."

And then he was kissing a familiar path down to her navel, but when she laughed and grabbed his face again; he was easily pulled back up her body.

"Toran was right; you are orally fixated."

She felt his thick cock again when he went in for another kiss. She didn't know if he intended the leaking tip to drag against her opening, but it shot a thrill through her instantly. She realized then she was no longer scared of the prospect of finally going all the way with him. Her core seemed to clench in anticipation, wanting to be filled.

When she thrust to meet him and experience greater friction; the satiny hardness tickled her tender folds. He lowered his face to bury in the crook of her shoulder, and rolled his hips forward to trap his length between them. She shuddered as he ground into her throbbing clit, and he groaned against her ear.

"Do not trust everything that panther tells you," he ordered in rumbling tones. "But in this; she is accurate." She grabbed his hair in her fist as he kissed fervently at her throat, and his breathing became heavier as she ground her hips into his cock. "This One is actually surprised you are capable of speech. You nearly screamed yourself hoarse last night."

There was no mistaking the pride in his voice, but his smug look fell away as she rolled her hips up into him again. With matching expressions; their jaws hung open incredulously as they gasped into each other's mouths.

"My throat is a little sore," she admitted unnecessarily. The dry, scratchy quality of her voice spoke for itself.

He sympathetically lowered his lips to her exposed column to place gentle kisses on her damaged voice box.

"Mm, then do not speak," he commanded, nosing the flesh next. "No words shall be needed anyway."

He went in for another kiss, but her moving lips made it difficult.

"That's what got me into trouble in the first place," she mumbled against his mouth, but her half-hearted protests were easily swallowed as firm, soft lips commandeered hers.

He was right; words between them were unnecessary, and even undesired. They eagerly surrendered to the prolonged display of affection, kissing more passionately and communicating their need.

It was a vicious cycle; expressing such desperate want only stoked desires further, and soon he lifted his hand to cup her cheek and guide her towards him perfectly. From above; he angled himself to attack, and devour her to his heart's content. But it was hers too, so she lifted her chin to accept his feverish kisses and somehow take it deeper - if it was indeed possible.

Heavy gasping and short, excited breathing could not put an end to the display, but when Kagome reached between them to wrap her palm around his throbbing length; he knew what she wanted.

He took his cock back from her, and shifted himself to line up at her entrance. She moaned wantonly, and her clit was on fire as he used the wide head to trace her opening in firm, forceful circles.

"Gods, you are so wet," he told her, marveling at the sheer amount of fluids he was collecting on his manhood. Getting on his elbow; he used his cock to drag some of her moistness up her slit, and rubbed it into her swollen pearl as if to prove his point.

He slid the tip of his cock against her weeping core; not attempting to enter yet, just taking his time to enjoy the feel of her. Their naked sex had never had this much unbarred contact, and the feeling of smooth, wet skin becoming so intimately acquainted was worth some exploring, and reveling. As eager as he was, he was in no rush with her.

Kagome was a different story.

"All for you," she gasped breathily. "I'm ready now." Her soft hand on his cheek pulled his attention upward. "Now you're human, so no more excuses."

That was what he had told her last night. Despite her continued encouragement; he refused to take her while in his demon form. Well; now he was human, and her insistence hadn't appeared to temper at all in the new light of day.

She'd waited, albeit impatiently, and now he could finally concede. He wished she had prepared herself a little better, and he had suggested stretching her out a bit before the time came, but now; he was only a man. He was quite eager for this as well.

He continued to trace his dick along her slit, trying to loosen her up a little more, but after some prodding; it was still a very tight little hole. But he knew what might help.

He began to shift away, to reclaim his previous position between her thighs.

"Allow me to prepare you-"

"No." But she stopped him, grabbing his bicep and sitting up slightly. "It's going to hurt no matter what. Let's just get it over with."

He hated that this was something she had to endure. Her incredible tightness would only enhance his pleasure, but he would get none from watching her in pain. His eyes softened sympathetically.

"If I could sacrifice my own enjoyment for your comfort, I would do so in a heartbeat."

A genuine smile spread across her face, and she removed his arm to gently palm his cheek. He was too freaking adorable.

"I know. Just, go slow."

Sesshoumaru nodded as she got on her back again.

"Of course." He shifted to rest between her legs once more. "Promise you will stop me if you need to."

It was an order and a plea, and she pushed aside her nerves as she felt him at her entrance yet again.

"I promise."

He saw her anxiety flitter beneath her need, and he released his aching shaft to fondle her breasts some more. She sighed happily as he used his mouth on her nipples to try and relax her center. Warm, callus palms dragged all over flushed skin, and made sure she was hot, and dripping for him.

He used his fingers next before finally trying to gently force himself in, but there was an issue.

"Kami, you are so fucking big."

His cock was long, but thick as well. With all the preparation and stimulation, she was very turned on. Very wet and sufficiently relaxed, but at the end of the day; it was like trying to shove a tallboy can inside her. The mechanics just weren't working out.

Length was one thing; he didn't need to bottom out on her first go. But his girth was turning out to be an incredible obstacle. He didn't want to just ram it in, and he wouldn't. But after several gentle attempts, angles and methods; he finally pulled back, and she huffed in frustration.

"I don't know how this is going to work."

He was just as frustrated as she was, maybe even more. The tip of his cock was covered in her arousal, and had tasted the sweet, shallow entrance of her virgin canal. So, so close, and yet so far.

But his initial instinct was correct, it would seem. She needed some more preparation before she would be ready to take him. That was fine; he was willing to help with that.

"Perhaps we should-"

"No. Don't stop." But the miko was determined. She'd been denied long enough, as far as she was concerned. "We just need some lubrication."

"Of course," he easily acquiesced. He would gladly spend all day lubricating her. He somehow became even more excited. "Let me use my mouth to-"

"Not me; I don't think I can get any wetter." He flashed her a confused look as reached down between them, but his eyes slid closed in pleasure when she wrapped her hand around that thick cock of his. "I will use my mouth to prepare you."

He was still hovering over her, an elbow propping him up on either side as she looked seductively up into his adoring features. She stroked him a bit while he took a moment to gaze down at her gratefully.

Just the thought of her hot little mouth around him was enough to make his pulse race, but before she urged him on his back; he dipped low to take her kiss-bruised lips with his one more time.

She continued to stroke him as he found her tongue gently with his. Using her thumb, she gathered his beading precum and smeared it all around his head. He trembled, releasing a long, shaky groan against her lips at the feel of her soft hands working him so beautifully. When he pulled away; he was smiling down at her, and she returned the sentiment sweetly as she waited for him to roll off of her. Blue met violet as they lost themselves in each other in an endless, contented moment.

But a knocking at their door tore them brutally from their intimacy. They both looked at each other with panicked eyes, silently communicating the desire to ignore the intrusion, but the second round of knocking was more forceful, and frantic.

"Leave," he barked out irritably over his shoulder, but deep down he knew it wouldn't be as easy as all that. There was no way the others weren't aware of what had taken place inside that hut last night, and if they were willing to interrupt; it had to be important.

"It's about Rin." Miroku's stern tone from outside caused Kagome's eyes to widen, concern for the girl overriding any frustration she might feel.

The normally jovial man's somber tenor also had a softening effect on Sesshoumaru's dick, pulling him harshly from the carefree, carnal dreamworld they had retreated into and back to reality where his substantial troubles were still waiting for him – right there, where he had left them.

Something between regret and apology marred his handsome features, and with resigned determination; he pulled away to get himself half-dressed. But the look in his eye as she scooted up to sit was more than clear. This wasn't over.

Unsure of where her clothing had gone; Kagome simply pulled the blanket up past her breasts while Sesshoumaru crossed to open the door.

She could see the monk over his shoulder as her would-be lover planted himself firm in the doorway, preventing access and attempting to shield her from the pervert's view as much as possible. The smooth, broad expanse of his naked back was just begging to earn some claw marks to match her own.

His hakama hung low and loose off his powerful, stripeless hips, momentarily distracting her from their intruder.

"What happened?" the former inu demanded urgently. Kagome clutched her blanket tighter as she zeroed in anxiously on their conversation.

"She's fine," Miroku assured him, and she released a heavy breath of relief. That meant-

"Has he found the cure?" Sesshoumaru hadn't much experience with spells – such things are of no use to a powerful Daiyoukai. But Kagome had informed him that to break them, a gathering of ingredients was usually required. She just hoped that whatever it was, it wouldn't be too difficult to acquire.

But Miroku shook his head.

"The elder just told me he needed to speak with you. It sounded urgent."

With his mouth set in a firm line, Sesshoumaru gave a resigned nod.

"Very well."

As the former demon turned to look over his shoulder, Miroku's gaze lifted to the miko still sitting in her bed.

'Sorry,' the monk mouthed with a grimace, right before the door was shut in his face.

"I must see what this is about." Kagome watched him locate his shirt on the floor and hastily put in on. He sat on the bed to get into his boots, and she attempted to crawl out from under the covers.

"I'll come with y-"

"No." The stern command caught her off guard as he snapped his face in her direction. Her eyes were full of questions as he immediately softened, and ran his fingers through her disheveled bangs. "You need your rest," he insisted, locking her in a heated glare as he brought his face down to hers. "When I return, you are going to find yourself quite occupied." His suggestive vow held promise and threat alike, and she couldn't help but smile as he brought his warm lips to hers. "Do not leave."

He was still holding her cheek, still looming close as he waited for her to confirm her compliance. When she gave a sexy smile; his eyes dropped to watch her pull a swollen lip between her teeth.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him, and he appeared ravenous as she shifted forward to lean in closer. "I'll just wait here anxiously for you to come back and occupy me."

She fell forward to take her kiss, but soon found herself guided to lay on her back once more. As she clawed at his hair; he allowed his hands to roam all over her body, rubbing his hands over her hips and her breasts, making her moan and moisten.

She cried out when he gave her nipple a rough pinch, but pouted and whined when he finally stood and made his way to the door.

No words were needed as he flashed her one last longing look, and left.

---

The large common area in the center of the village held decades upon centuries of scrolls. Accounts, records, and information alike filled the library-esque structure from floor to ceiling, and wall to wall.

All around the room; piles of parchment were strategically separated, strewn about and cast aside in what Sesshoumaru could only hope to be some coherent method of madness.

Near the back of the room was a modest desk, piled high itself with scrolls. Several had spilled off the side to the floor around it, while others teetered precariously on the edge looking to join them down below.

At the desk sat Dachi. The second Sesshoumaru walked in; he earned the man's gaze for all of one second, before he turned his attention back to the unrolled paper in his hand.

Pushing aside his annoyance; the former youkai strode confidently forward and made to stand before him.

"Have you found a way to break the spell?" he demanded, but by the way the elder was still frantically scouring his records; Sesshoumaru was not optimistic.

"Not yet," he confirmed. "but I saw an eagle youkai flying northbound, over the canyon."

When he said nothing more, the Western Lord narrowed his gaze.

"I assume this has significance?"

Sensing his irritation; Daichi abandoned his task momentarily to give the impatient man his full regard.

"Yes. I recall as a boy; my grandfather initiated a hunt. Half a dozen of the village's most capable hunters set off on a mission to track down an eagle. They needed his blood to help make an elixir. That elixir cured a spell that forced humans to sleep."

It wasn't the cure, but it sounded promising. He allowed the man to continue.

"I must still find the list of ingredients," Daichi informed him, picking up another scroll, "but I now remember one of them will be the blood of an eagle youkai. They are not easily found, so while I look for the scroll; you would do well to follow him into the canyon."

Sesshoumaru frowned. This could take some time, and in the end; he was putting all of his faith and energy into entertaining an old man's vague memory. Could he trust him? Did he have a choice?

"They are wily, elusive creatures, not easily caught," he imparted further. "You may wish to enlist the aid of your half demon companion. It took those six men weeks to track him down when I was a boy."

No, he didn't have a choice. This was their only lead so far, and Rin couldn't wake up until they had all the ingredients for the elixir. Though there were things he would much rather be doing at the moment, Rin was his first priority. For Daichi's sake; he better hope his account is accurate.

"I shall leave at once," Sesshoumaru informed him with a resolute nod. "Give any further information to the monk in my absence. You must find that scroll."

"Yes, my lord."

He was halfway out of the room when the elder's distracted voice reached his ears.

"How is she?"

Sesshoumaru froze, but didn't turn around.

"The little girl," Daichi clarified, not looking up from his search. "Is her sleep remaining peaceful? Have you noticed any strange sounds or movements?"

Guilt and anxiety caused every muscle and organ to tense in his tall frame. He had been doing quite well at distracting himself, but his negligence niggled at him constantly just beneath the surface. He was not ready yet.

"I have not seen anything," he answered softly, and before he got any more questions, he was gone.

---

Sesshoumaru entered his hut for the first time since coming back with Rin, and he couldn't remember the last time is body felt so heavy with trepidation. Perhaps it hadn't.

He never said he was going to relieve his brother of guard dog duty once he came back from his 'business,' but he was sure it was implied. And with his half-demon senses; Inuyasha surely knew exactly when he came back last night, and what he had been doing since his return.

But the bulk of his guilt stemmed from avoiding the small, sleeping girl he had worked so hard to retrieve. It just made it worse that the others probably thought his priorities were getting sorted out by his dick instead of his head, or heart. Not that their machinations operated in mutual exclusivity.

Still, he tried to keep his chin high as he entered his hut. For his part, his half-brother didn't seem too upset with him.

"So, you decided to stay behind last night."

He was impressed with the boy for keeping his mask and tone neutral. Aside from the barest hint of accusation; he could not discern what he was thinking.

Sango was there too, polishing her boomerang in the corner, and he gave her the briefest acknowledgement before reluctantly sliding his eyes to Rin sleeping soundly on his futon.

His heart clenched in his chest at the sight of her. Relief and joy at her presence were tempered quickly by guilt, and he returned his gaze passively to his brother lounging against the back wall.

"Inuyasha, we must go. An eagle youkai has flown into the canyon; we must collect his blood."

The mission would serve him as another distraction, and he figured if his brother wanted to hash anything out with him, he could do it during their hunt.

Daichi was right; eagles were a tricky catch even for accomplished youkai. In his human form; he had no chance in tracking one down alone.

"I thought I sensed one of those passing through." Sesshoumaru was grateful when Inuyasha pushed himself up from the wall to stand. "Tricky fucking bastards don't make it easy."

"You've hunted them before?" he asked, even more grateful still that the boy did not deem fit to blow his top over Kagome. Yet, anyhow.

"Once or twice. It's hard because they can see you coming from a mile away, and they fly really fast."

Yes, he was not looking forward to this particular chore. Worse yet; he doubted there was much he could do in capturing one, but this was his mission. Rin was his, and if there was a grueling hunt; he would not send others off to take on his unpleasant business on their own.

He became nervous when Inuyasha eyed him up and down before turning his back on him. Would he refuse after all? He couldn't say he wouldn't deserve it. But Rin didn't...

"You'll only slow me down." Without looking over his shoulder; he reached for Tetsusaiga and secured it in his waist. "We'll take Kirara and get him for you."

Surprise marred his features when Sango instantly rose. Without a word; she seemed to pick up on her lover's intent, and secured her own weapon as well.

"You and the slayer?"

"We make a good team," he boasted, flashing her a proud grin which she instantly returned. "We got our hunting game down pat."

He couldn't deny that in his current form; either one of them would make a more accomplished hunter than he. Add a flying fire cat to the mix, and his brother's claims were likely accurate. As much as pride wanted him to refuse; common sense told him to swallow his ego and obey.

"Very well," he agreed, straightening his spine stiffly. Then even more stiffly, he deigned, "Thank you, Inuyasha."

The younger of the two couldn't say he didn't relish the humbling concession just a little bit, but he graciously smirked instead of making a big deal about it.

"Keh, no problem."

Assuming Sesshoumaru would now assume his duties; the pair got ready to leave, leaving Rin in his care. When the ex-demon chanced another longing glance at his charge; his soft, distant voice caught them before they reached the door.

"How is she sleeping? Has she fared alright?"

Daichi's question reverberated in his skull, and the guilt that gnawed at his willful ignorance increased tenfold that he had to ask his little brother of her state. Sensing his distress, Inuyasha gentled.

"Yeah. She seems fine," he assured him, but his brother's somber gaze remained on his ward. "She's all yours."

And then, without another word, they left.

But as soon as they did, claustrophobia set in.

He instantly removed his gaze from the slumbering girl, and his chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe. The air was too thin; the room, too crowded, with just the two of them.

When he looked out the window to see the couple flying away on Kirara; he bolted.

He ran as fast as he could to the neighboring hut, and turned the tables by knocking frantically on Miroku's door.

Sesshoumaru declined the invitation to enter, but anxiously requested a favor. With the way he'd been disturbed that morning; the monk could do naught but comply.

"I apologize for the interruption," Miroku offered, as he prepared to leave for Sesshoumaru's hut. With the others on their eagle hunt; he'd been enlisted to watch over Rin.

'Another chore I have managed to shamefully delegate to another,' he thought with disdain.

But he shook his head.

"Nonsense. She is my duty. You were right to intrude."

Sesshoumaru was prepared to walk his helpful ally to his hut, but knowing eyes seemed to pick up on his tension, though misinterpreted its source.

"It sounds like they may be a while," he observed with an easy smile, then winked. "Why don't you go back and get some sleep? I'll wake you if anything comes up."

He hated the idea of anyone thinking he would shirk his duties to his ward to run off and indulge in carnal pleasures, but conceded the monk was at least half right. He was abandoning his post. And though his suspicions for why were incorrect; they were ones the lecher could wrap his head around, and empathize with.

Then again, they weren't completely unwarranted.

Though he wasn't avoiding Rin to simply spend time with Kagome, it didn't mean that he wouldn't.

The reminder of the amorous woman waiting for him in her bed caused his blood to rush south, and had him even more anxious to flee the scene. He remembered the offer she had made right before the monk had appeared...

"Do not hesitate to inform me," he still insisted, but selfishly hoped the elder could wait until after he'd found his pleasure before discovering the lost scroll. Though he'd had a wonderful night, it had left him achingly unsatisfied.

"I won't," he assured him. And after some pervert ESP, he added, "And don't worry, I'll knock."

Another wink sent the former dog demon on his way none too slowly.

He distracted himself from his troubles and guilt on the short jog over to Kagome's hut by supplying his mind with all the things he wanted to do her. All the things he wanted her to do to him, and all they had already done.

Letting himself in; hungry eyes sought the miko on her mattress, and zeroed in for the kill.

He rushed to her side and called out her name... only to be met with silence.

Another moment of observation revealed that she was asleep. But instead of frustration; the sight melted away all of his tension – sexual, and otherwise.

The gentle snoring she emitted had endeared itself to him long ago. It was the sound of her peace, and comfort, and contentedness in his presence.

Ravenous eyes softened, and never once did the impulse to rouse her cross his newly soothed mind.

Her peacefulness relaxed him, and instead of disappointed; he found himself thankful for the warm, loose feeling coursing through him at her behest. He thought he needed to get laid, thought he wanted to.

He did, definitely, but he appreciated this even more. This was what he needed.

Crawling in beside her; he lifted the covers to arrange himself flush against her back, spooning her.

With a contented sigh; she melded to him, and he put a protective arm to drape across her stomach, holding her near.

When he kissed her exposed shoulder; she mumbled something in sleep talk, and he buried his nose in her hair.

Her comfort was his own. Her contentedness was his own. And with his mind mercifully blank; he drifted off to sleep, and hoped desperately that he would meet her there.

---

He vaguely registered the violent knocking at Kagome's door once again, but it wasn't until she untangled herself from his possessive hold that he managed to pry his eyelids open.

His reluctance punished him, because by the time his sight had focused; the young woman had already managed to locate her clothing, and don it before he could appreciate the show.

He pouted grumpily as she made her way to the door, but when she revealed the monk's excitable features; he sobered in an instant.

"He found the scroll!"

The information had the former demon hopping out of bed, thankfully still clothed from his excursion earlier that morning. He rushed to the door as the monk was welcomed in, and pressed the wrinkles from his attire in an attempt to appear presentable.

A list was produced for the Western Lord's inspection, and he snatched it eagerly out of the monk's hands while Kagome huddled close to read it too.

"He said he has most of these," Miroku informed him as the couple hungrily consumed the parchment. "Eagle blood is on the way. That just leaves boar's tusks, and then this list of herbs."

After filling Kagome in regarding Inuyasha and Sango's mission; she carefully studied herbs for anything she might recognize.

"The elder says you can find the boars on the other side of the forest," the monk continued to impart. "but they are powerful. I will aid you in tracking one, my lord, and perhaps Kagome-sama could locate these herbs."

It went without saying that the boars in question were youkai. It was well known that their tusks held healing properties often employed in witchcraft. Besides; in the Northern Lands, most wild game tended to be youkai. Regular animals just didn't stand a chance, and Darwin kind of weeded them out of the area.

Inuyasha and Sango were hands down their best hunters, and with them gone; it would fall to the rest of them to capture the boar. Miroku was not completely unskilled, but hunting was not his strong suit. When pressed, he could hold his own. Sesshoumaru was of course an accomplished predator, in his demon form. But as a human; it would be far from a cake walk to track and kill the stealthy boar.

"Kagome is proficient with a bow," he pointed out, catching the holy duo off guard. "Perhaps it would behoove us to allow her to catch the game."

Shock turned into admiration as Kagome recognized the compliment. He had faith in her abilities, and was suggesting she may even outperform him in making the kill. With her long-range weapon, it was difficult to deny.

An appreciative gaze relayed her gratitude, and Sesshoumaru couldn't help but quirk a warm smile down to her in return. The exchange caused something in Miroku's chest to flutter as well, and a pleasant moment passed between them in the midst of the chaos.

"Agreed," he offered kindly. "I am afraid, however, that I am unfamiliar with these herbs." He pointed to the list in his hand and flashed a suspicious glare. "Unless you know what to look for..."

Collecting herbs was a skill that could only be honed with experience. He didn't know the first thing about identifying plants, aside from recognizing the few he knew for sure would kill him. Without his demon nose; he assumed Sesshoumaru didn't either, but the ex-youkai had surprised him before.

However, the look on his face confirmed his suspicions. Kagome was the only one of them who could expedite this task quickly. And sure; they could help, but that boar was likely a two-man job. So unless the other couple returned soon, they would have to split up.

It was just too bad that Kagome was the best candidate for each mission. Looking down at her with reverence; Sesshoumaru shared in the sentiment.

"Hn. If only I could split you in two."

Kagome blushed, knowing what he meant, but also knowing there was no way the innuendo was lost on their fellow pervert. She didn't even have to look up to see his lecherous grin.

"I can find these," she declared, taking the list from his hand. "You boys go get that boar."

"You are certain?" Sesshoumaru asked, and she set her chin determinedly.

"Yes. These should be near the cliffs," she pointed to a spot on the list, "and these are anywhere magnolia trees are growing. If I haven't seen them, I at least will know where to look. I got this."

He was so overcome with gratitude at this woman's willingness to help him that he couldn't stop his features from softening as he took her in. But he loathed having to separate, and concern for her safety – and his part in endangering it – fought to undermine his faith in her capabilities. But he conquered it, reminding himself of her power, and newest acquisition.

"Very well," he conceded, grabbing her gently at her upper arms and looking seriously into her eyes. "You will bring your bow for protection. Please be careful."

He didn't hide his concern, nor water down his plea in front of the monk.

"You too."

Nor did he hide his affection, surprising all of them by bending low to take her lips in a passionate kiss.

She blushed when they parted, and she caught a glimpse of Miroku's grin.

"We will meet up back here," she insisted, forcing her breath back under control, "and then hopefully we can get Rin to wake up."

All they had to do was get these items, and the elder could make his elixir. If it worked, all this would finally be over.

"Who's going to watch her?" Miroku wondered, and they both looked to Sesshoumaru. With all of them out; it wasn't safe to leave her unguarded – even if the village had seen no danger so far. It wasn't worth the risk.

"I will enlist the elder to keep watch in our absence as he prepares the cure."

They didn't know the man all that well, but apparently Toran's endorsement was enough to earn Sesshoumaru's trust. Though, he didn't have much of a choice.

Daichi was working hard to help them, so that seemed to be good enough. They didn't know what he would do if anyone attacked, but the old man appeared to at least have resources.

And now that he found the scroll; all he could do was wait for them to fetch him the ingredients. Surely, he could handle babysitting as he prepared what he could of the elixir. All he had to do was watch the sleeping girl, and make sure nothing terrible happened.

So, after carrying Rin to the elder's home; the trio went their separate ways, off to what they all hoped would be their last mission before finally, finally they could go home.

---

The last time Kagome had been gathering herbs like this, she accidently made the wish that turned Sesshoumaru into a human. It was so surreal to think about how that one, innocent, thoughtless utterance changed so many people's lives forever, and so substantially at that.

Sesshoumaru, Rin... and even her. If she hadn't made that wish; she would have never gotten to know Sesshoumaru so well, and now; she would never be the same. She couldn't decide if she was grateful, or devastated that she did. Couldn't decide if her wish was a blessing in disguise, or the curse it appeared to be.

And couldn't honestly say if she could go back and undo it, that she would. Would she give up her new relationship with Sesshoumaru to undo all the harm she caused? It was too early to say. She couldn't answer that until the consequences started rolling in. She had a feeling they'd only just begun.

Kagome was on her hands and knees, sifting desperately though the plant life near the open clearing, and she was beginning to lose hope.

Oh, she'd already found all the herbs and plants on her list. It wasn't easy, but after hours of searching possible locations; she had managed to collect every ingredient needed for Rin's elixir.

But this last one – it was for her.

It usually grew near bodies of water, so she'd followed the stream all the way down to the cliff's edge. But now; she could go no farther. It looked like she was going to have to give up.

Since she'd come all this way; she did a broad sweep for good measure, and when she found this clearing nearby; she thought she'd finally spotted it. But now, on closer inspection; these were not the plants which had the roots that could have possibly helped with her predicament. With a shriek of frustration; she pounded her fists on the ground, and sat back in defeat.

She'd wasted enough time as it was. She needed to get these herbs back to the elder so Rin could wake up. Hopefully, the others had been just as successful in their demon hunting expeditions. But still; she really wished she could have found that plant.

Though she'd done her best to remain focused, Sesshoumaru was never far from her mind. After last night; her brain had been in a whirl, making her heat and ache at the images it produced.

The things he'd done to her... She felt herself becoming wet just thinking about it.

It made their trouble that morning so much more aggravating.

She had been so uncertain about taking the plunge with him, due to the fact that she knew he would choose to leave her once he changed. But after her talk with Toran; she had been able to see things in a new light.

It was all so clear now, and as much as she hated it; she finally had to agree with his decision. If being with him as a full-time demon meant putting him, and the stability of his lands in danger; she wanted no part of it. She would never risk his life like that. She'd put him at risk enough as it was.

Maybe someday; things wouldn't be so contentious between their species, and then she would be happy to give it a try. But she wasn't deluded. She knew how her people regarded demons, and the feeling was more than mutual. No, it was idealistic to think that their races would find peace in her lifetime.

And seeing how there were no demons in the modern era, maybe not ever.

That didn't mean that right now, they couldn't take advantage of his transformation and enjoy each other while they had the chance. At least one good thing should come from this whole tragic episode.

But now - now that she was comfortable with that, and herself, and with him, and she was finally ready to do what her body has been screaming at her to do for a while now - he didn't fit. Not comfortably, anyway. The fates were so cruel. Maybe she should take it as a sign.

When she remembered that there was a root that could help women... relax in that regard, however, she thought she had the perfect opportunity to find it, while looking for herbs for Rin as well. But in yet another blow to her pathetic sex life; she was unable to find it anywhere.

'Damn, they're growing all over the damn place in Kaede's Village!' If only she'd had a little foresight.

Then again; she never in a million years would have predicted she'd become such a wanton mess. Sesshoumaru had that effect on her though.

For the millionth time in the hours since she'd left him; he consumed her thoughts yet again. His face and body were enough to set her nether regions aflame, but thinking about his head between her thighs... that mouth... that tongue! It made her ache in the worst way. Or was it the best?

Kami, she really needed to get laid.

Looking around to confirm she was alone; she finally decided to alleviate the pressure. If she couldn't find the root; she would need to take Sesshoumaru's advice, and get herself ready for him. Maybe with some practice; it wouldn't be so hard getting him in there.

A blast of reiki purified her fingers, and she slid her hand inside her panties. Inexperienced fingers slipped past dripping folds, and the sensation reminded her of the demon who'd touched her like this only hours ago. She groaned as his lustful features became clear in her mind's eye, and channeling his own clawless demon digits; she imitated the motions he'd used to take her to pleasure.

First one finger, then a second felt nothing like when he'd done it. But she thought of him - pretended it was him stroking her inner walls - and felt her pleasure mounting.

Her other hand joined in, rubbing her clit in the way she normally did when she touched herself. It was hard to pretend it was his perfect tongue, but she could feel herself building to something. As she got closer; she boldly entered a third finger, hoping to stretch herself out for him quickly so he could be with her soon. Maybe after a few more times; she would finally be ready for him, and then they could-

A strangled cry announced her release, and she rode it out to the end as she succumbed to her own touch in the middle of the clearing.

Before catching her breath, she stood; wiping the sweat from her brow and grabbing her basket of collected herbs. She was eager to leave the scene of the crime. Eager to help Rin. Eager to get back to him.

She returned to the elder's house to find him already working on his potion. She cast a sympathetic look at the slumbering little girl at his side, and surrendered the fruits of her little treasure hunt.

"Did you manage to find them all?" he asked, taking the basket from her and peering inside.

"That's all of them!" He had several ingredients surrounding his small work space, and he seemed to be preparing them as needed, and mixing them in a certain order.

"Wonderful!" His smile was genuine and infectious. If he was pleased, it meant things were going as planned. "I now have everything I need to make the elixir. I should have it ready within the hour, and I will give it to Rin immediately."

"The others are back already?" she asked in mild surprise. Not that she didn't have faith in their efficiency, it was just... nobody else was here. She thought at least Sesshoumaru would want to stay with her until the cure was made, or at least take her back to his hut.

But she supposed that Daichi needed to give her the cure anyhow. Probably best to do this all in-house, in this controlled environment. Not that it was terribly sophisticated compared to their rentals.

"Yes. Been back for some time now," he confirmed while lifting one of the herbs out and putting it on his table.

Kagome blushed. If she knew everyone was back already, she wouldn't have wasted so much time on... personal matters. At any rate; he didn't appear to be done with their ingredients yet, so no harm done.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad they didn't have any problems."

The old man looked up to cast her a friendly smile, and finally noticed the impressive new weapon she carried over her shoulder.

"That is a beautiful bow," he offered, leaning in for a closer look. "I have never seen one of such quality."

Seeing as he paused momentarily to gawk at it' she brandished her gift to show off a little.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru commissioned it for me."

"I can see that."

She wondered how he knew, but quickly remembered all of the symbols of his house carved in the wood. One shape in particular was a dead giveaway.

"Handsome dog, huh?" she preened, rubbing the replica of his true form. "And look; there's my name right there."

She pointed casually to the unfamiliar youkai alphabet, but Daichi shook his head.

"Ah, no," he corrected confidently. At her puzzled expression; he pointed to the same alphabet, but toward the top of the bow, not the bottom where she had pointed. "Your name is up here. That is his name."

"What?" she demanded, looking from him to the bow once more.

But his easy smile never faltered. He pointed to the bottom half of the wood bow again.

"Yes, that there - that is how the Western Lord's name appears in his native language."

"You can read it?" she asked distantly, trying to discern why Sesshoumaru hadn't told her that, as she processed the new information in real time.

"Indeed," he replied proudly, and returned to his table of ingredients. He went back to work as he filled her in. "I've studied the texts of his kind since I was a boy. Can't speak it, of course. But I'd recognize that name anywhere."

Everything on that bow had been achingly personal, not just to her, but to the both of them together. She had an inkling why he had done it, but she still wished he would have said something. He was so secretive about his thoughtfulness. Almost as if he were ashamed of it.

"Does it say anything else?" she asked, holding the bow out to him again.

"No, just your names atop one another." Pausing for a moment, he gestured to a small cluster of markings near the middle of the bow. "Aside from this. This symbol is placed between words that are to be combined. As if, parts of a whole." When she looked confused; he shrugged, and returned to his work. "That is the best way I can explain it. It's a rough translation."

As he dove back into his cure; she took a moment to marvel at her bow with new eyes.

With a thank you, Kagome then left on a new mission: to find Sesshoumaru.

She was disappointed to find that he wasn't in her hut, but she wasn't terribly surprised. She wasn't expecting him to be stripped and waiting for her on a silver platter. That would have been nice, though.

She was officially keyed up. Sexual frustration hand her antsy, and memories had her eager.

But after learning from Daichi what her bow really said, she was determined. He had done so much for her, and she needed to do something for him.

She dropped off her bow, placing it down inside her hut with tender care, and embarked on her new search.

---

It was a relatively easy search; his hut was the first place she looked. When she boldly let herself inside without so much as a knock or announcement; she was a bit annoyed to find that he wasn't alone. But she pushed the feeling down.

"Oh, hi Miroku."

She zeroed in on the meditating former dog demon who cracked an eye the second she entered, and started making her way over.

"Kagome-sama! How was your mission? Fruitful?"

She cast the briefest of glances over to the other man whose mediation she was apparently interrupting, but quickly returned her attention to Sesshoumaru as he wore an almost imperceptible smile.

"Yep, got em all," she responded, and took a seat on her knees beside him on the mat. "I just dropped them off with the elder. He says it will be ready in an hour."

With her addition; Sesshoumaru broke pose, opened his eyes and gave the woman his full attention. Something about the way she was gazing at him was alluring, and deserving of scrutiny. She was trying to tell him something with her eyes, and he found it impossible to look away.

"Wonderful. Our hunting trip was a rousing success as well."

"That's great," she replied, but did not deign to look over at him this time. Her intense, almost scandalous glare had Sesshoumaru feeling violated in the most marvelous way.

As he returned the heated glare with great interest; Miroku continued to talk, completely oblivious to the blatant eye-fucking going on right in front of him.

"Yes. You should have seen him," he gushed instead. "There is no doubting this man has the heart of a dog demon, the way he stalks his prey."

Oh, she wouldn't doubt it. He was stealthy, and patient. He'd been circling her for a while now, and he had her right where she assumed he wanted her. All she could think in that moment was how a dog demon might position her when he went in for the kill...

But she didn't say that out loud.

"Oh yeah?" she said instead, never removing her hazy blue eyes from the predator before her. She knew how distant and uninterested she must sound by the smirk her almost-lover produced in response.

But for a lecher; Miroku was being pretty oblivious to the obvious lust signals emitting from her in thick waves.

"Indeed. Listen to this; he spotted a boar feeding right on the edge of a huge cliff..."

But Sesshoumaru was not so clueless. He had a keen eye for her wordless communications, and it helped that he was always on the lookout for any signs of desire the miko may be sending. It helped further that he had spent the entire night up close and personal with his demon senses focused squarely on her, so he had become fairly proficient in reading her wants and needs.

"… cutting him off. That's when Sesshoumaru-sama started heading for the creek..."

The eye language would be enough to tell him what she was thinking, but his gaze was instantly drawn to her mouth. Opened slightly; she produced the tip of her tongue just enough to drag slowly across her lower lip, with a pass along the upper soon to follow. With her back to the chatty monk; the erotic display was meant only for him.

"… didn't see us, so we got down on our bellies..."

His heated gaze darkened, becoming hooded as he pictured what he wanted her to do with that tongue. She smiled when he wetted his own lips in response – likely a subconscious act – and noticed his hands clench impotently against his knees.

She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was picturing. She needed to know. She couldn't wait any longer.

"… quiet as a mouse, so he took his big spear and-"

"Miroku?" she ventured pleasantly, still not looking his way. Still not breaking Sesshoumaru's hungry gaze.

"Yes?" he innocently inquired.

Her breathing was becoming heavier.

"Get out."

Eyes flew wide in momentary shock and realization. She couldn't see his sheepish grin as he shifted to stand, because she was too focused on the smug amusement emanating off the Western Lord before her.

"Yes, I think I hear Inuyasha calling me anyway."

He hardly had the door closed behind him when Kagome pounced, throwing herself into Sesshoumaru and nearly knocking him on his back. But he quickly corrected, catching her in his arms and holding her body against him as her lips found his in a desperate, shameless assault.

She was all tongue and teeth as he fought with lips and hands, taking pride in the grunts she elicited as she tugged his bottom lip between hers and sucked. She straddled him, relishing the leverage as she attacked from above, cradling his jaw in both hands as his slowly but harshly traveled up her back until finding purchase in her hair.

They were both panting heavily as she ground into his lap, and instantly felt the desire so substantial they couldn't get it to fit.

That was a shame, and a reason she was so frustrated today. But that wasn't going to stop her from expressing her own desire. She vowed to find a way.

They both needed air, so she finally pulled back. Chests rose and fell as they gasped greedily for breath, and she loved how he pulled himself closer, hugging her, and rubbing her back while he rested his ear between her breasts. She could feel her heart thundering against him.

"Daichi was admiring my bow," she told him huskily, rolling her hips again slightly.

"Oh?" He managed to stifle a groan, but his voice was noticeably rough.

"Yeah. He said he recognized your name on top of mine. Why didn't you tell me?"

Pulling away to look up at her; he did not relinquish his hold, so his chin propped against her chest as she gazed down at him lovingly.

"You did not ask," he simply informed her, and she used both hands to comb back his hair, smoothing out the mess she'd made of it.

"I like that way better than a last name."

She remembered their conversation by the campfire when they were lost in the Northern Mountains. Right before they got captured; they found him an alias and made a date to go hunting. They talked about fathers and fires and shared a sweet kiss. Mountain lizard and campfire; she would never forget it.

"Yes?" he asked hopefully, and she smiled back, rolling her hips harder as he began to buck in response. She was still holding his head.

"Yes. And you even gave me top billing."

"It is your gift," he reasoned gruffly, and grabbed her by the hips. "But you must admit, it has a ring to it."

His generosity and thoughtfulness was such an incredible turn on. Add to it the humble secrecy, and she couldn't restrain herself. He had something good coming to him, and it was long overdue.

Forcing herself forward; she redistributed her weight as she leaned her body into his, encouraging him to topple backward while bringing her with him. He didn't seem to mind the displacement, keeping his hands on her hips while hers splayed flat on his chest. With a push; she propped herself up on them to hover above.

"You like having me on top of you?" she asked saucily, but faltered when she got a good up-close look into his eyes.

Something was off again. She couldn't say what.

It wasn't the first time she had seen that far off glaze. Several times since he had returned from finding Rin – throughout their passionate night together - she noted how distant, and spacey he became. He was still fully capable of performing unbelievable feats, but his normally intense, always hyper-focused stare had a zoned-out quality that was distractingly out of character.

It almost looked like he was on auto pilot, like his mind was somewhere else. She hated to think he was becoming detached during their intimacy, whether intentional or not.

Insecurities had her worrying it was because she was human, and a part of him still did not condone the union, but she pushed those thoughts aside. There was another, more likely reason for space cadet Sesshoumaru, and it had nothing to do with her, or what they were doing.

"Are you okay?" she asked with empathy, features showing concern. "Is it Rin?"

The question seemed to snap him out of it, but though his momentary lapse was corrected; his eyes were not. They were focused on her once again, so why did they look so distant?

"I apologize," he offered guiltily, and he quickly made to atone. "Would you like me to pleasure you again?"

He cradled her head to pull her neck to his lips, at the same time slipping his hand under her shirt. He only just grabbed a handful of her lush breast when she pulled away and shook her head.

"No. I want you to lay back, and relax."

Before he could protest, she stole his lips in another kiss. Scooting down his body; she began sucking at his throat before continuing to slide backward.

He was aware of what she intended by the time she reached for his obi, and got up on his elbows as she opened his shirt at the waist.

"Miko-"

"Sshhhhh. I know you're going through a lot right now." He wanted to argue, but when she started undoing the ties of his hakama, instinct forced his tongue to stay still. So he just watched her. "I'm going to help take your mind off your troubles for little bit, okay?"

She flashed him a smile as she fussed with his clothing. He considered helping her, but her determination gave him pause.

Finally; she got it, and pulled his pants down past his hips.

"Thanks to your ambitious mouth," she continued superiorly, "I've racked up quite a debt that I need to pay back immediately. It's only fair."

He smiled, recalling her previous notions of 'payback,' and 'making them even.' It wasn't that he didn't appreciate it, he just didn't like the idea of her performing on him out of necessity, or some sort of dutiful chore.

"You needn't concern yourself with evening scores," he rumbled smoothly, causing her to pause and look up into his kind eyes and gentle smile. "I do not keep tallies, nor do I expect reciprocation for every act I perform. Simply grant your favor to me when you are so inclined." His smirk became devious. "I will make it my duty to ensure you are inclined as often as possible."

She was tempted to go in for another kiss. Those taunting lips called to her, coaxing her near. But instead; she remained to focus on removing his undergarment. As she began; she deigned a coy smile.

"You already have," she insisted. "I find myself very inclined." Her gaze became lusty, and he fought with whether to keep looking up at it, or down to his hips' quickly diminishing state of dress. He felt the cool air biting his newly exposed skin. "In fact, while looking for herbs," she continued, lowering her voice to a sexy tone, "I couldn't stop thinking about last night, and found myself so inclined that I had to pause my important search to relieve the throbbing tension you inspired." His eyes cut back up to hers. "That's what took me so long."

Just the thought of her needy and alone, touching herself and thinking about him made his already hard cock stiffen to a painful degree. It was arousing, but also maddening. He wanted to be the one to take care of her needs. And the fact that she was like that because he couldn't pleasure her this morning – not with his cock at least – filled him with the most ironic sense of inadequacy.

But before he could wallow too deeply; she finally managed to free him from the last scrap of cloth keeping him from her view. His groan was unrestrained when she took him proudly in her grasp, and he slammed his eyes shut as she gave him a good stroke.

"See; my chores are suffering as a result of my inclinations, so we need to be sure I take care of them as soon as they arise."

Finally giving in; he relaxed his arms, allowing him to fall flat on his back. She continued to stroke him as she got herself into position. She was hovering over his waist from her place between his legs, and he managed to crack an eyelid as he folded his arm behind his head.

"So, instead of trying to talk yourself out of your due; why don't you shut up and enjoy yourself."

Wrapping her lips around his impossible girth was no easy feat, but she did have more success than she achieved earlier that morning. A sharp release of heavy breath stormed past his lips as she formed a shallow seal around the head of his cock.

He tasted nothing like she imagined, but she couldn't say she was disappointed. Clean and smooth and warm; she enjoyed the new sensation of him resting between her lips. She ran her curious tongue all over its expanse, swirling at first to explore every portion of his engorged head, until finally swiping across his tip to taste the ejaculate that had already accumulated there.

It was salty, but not bitter, and she found the tang of his natural taste compelling. That was what his pleasure tasted like, and she found it very gratifying.

"Fuck, woman."

She hummed in response, letting the vibrations transfer to his sensitive flesh before making another pass with the wide top of her tongue. When she chanced a look; she saw half-lidded eyes gazing down at her with uncontainable lust, and she closed her lips tight as she pulled herself away.

He actually whimpered at the loss of her heat, but she still held his shaft in her hand as she slid her tongue over her lips.

"You taste so good," she whispered, before lowering her eyes back down to his straining erection, and placing her mouth softly around his tip once more. Spreading her lips; she unhinged her jaw and endeavored to take him deeper.

"You are amazing," he gasped, watching himself disappear into the warm, welcoming cavern she provided. "For as long as I live- Gn... I will want nobody but you. Hahh... You have utterly ruined me."

When she closed her lips to form a tight seal; she retreated back up his cock with much firmer pressure than before. Another strangled noise was her reward, and when she looked up with her mouth full; she saw his eyes slammed shut as he tilted his head towards the ceiling.

His lips parted, but he made no sound as she slowly pulled back until he was outside of her again.

He was actually twitching as he tried to contain himself.

"Well, then. I guess we're even."

He wanted to look at her; he knew she was quite a sight. But he vowed to allowed this woman to do as she wished with him. Taking in her permissive features in that moment might see to him being much more insistent and aggressive with her than he wished to be.

He wasn't even halfway in when he bottomed out in her throat, but he wasn't complaining.

He in no way expected the inexperienced miko to have the knowledge or ability to take him all the way down, but he could tell through his lustful haze that she was becoming discouraged. She tried to force more of him in, stretching herself around him and loosening her muscles as he felt himself repeatedly slide past her tonsils to hit the back of her esophagus. But at a certain point; she could take him no further, and the choking and gagging sounds as she pushed herself were starting to concern him.

She was still gripping him tight near the base when she wrenched herself off of him and huffed in frustration.

"I can't get it all in." From her tone; he could tell she took it as a personal failure, as if she was somehow inadequate. And he knew he should reassure the insecure virgin, but a short, soft laugh was all that came out.

"It doesn't matter," he said with a smile, eyes still closed towards the ceiling. But that didn't seem to mollify her.

"I'm sorry." Hearing her disappointment; his smile fell away, and he jolted back up onto his elbows.

His haori was still hanging off his shoulders, but its unfastened state left his perfect torso deliciously exposed. His hair was ruffled up from her previous treatment, giving him the appearance of bedhead – especially accompanied with his half-lidded gaze.

She lowered herself back down as he offered his request. Normally; he would ask her for nothing, but she needed a little encouragement.

"Just focus on the tip," he managed to rasp. "That is all I am concerned with."

Her mouth was already full of him when she acknowledged him with her eyes, and just as requested; she pulled him out enough so that only the head of his cock was inside her. With the extra space, she was able to maneuver her tongue more gymnastically, faster and with firmer pressure. The result had his head tilting way back while still up on his elbows, exposing the full column of his throat to her. From that angle, she could see the dramatic rise and fall of his sturdy, naked chest, and she noticed how his previously clenched fists flew wide open, fingers spreading apart helplessly.

She sucked on him harder, moved her tongue faster around him as she held him up by the base. His voice was unfamiliar when he spoke next, lifting his head back upright but eyes were still closed tight.

"Stroke the rest," sounded choppy as he tried to speak in even tones. Hating how demanding he sounded, he added, "if you desire."

It was meant as a plea, after all. He just didn't have the capacity for courtesy at the moment.

She didn't seem offended. For right after he said it; she closed her fist around him more firmly and began rhythmically sliding up and down his shaft. She was still lavishing attention on his swollen head, and soon began moving in time with her hand; going so far as to remove herself from him almost completely before descending down a few inches with each rough stroke.

Noises, some erotic combination of growls, grunts and groans were leaving his lips in a nonsensical flurry of appreciation, and she almost laughed when she stopped bobbing her head for a moment and he damn near snarled at her.

But he soon learned the reason for her retreat. Lowering her tongue to the underside of his cock; she gave a long lick from the base all the way to the tip in one slow pass. For the next; she cocked her head to the side to seal her lips beneath him, and repeated the previous path like she was playing a harmonica.

Once he was sufficiently wet and spitty; she resumed sucking his cock like she was before, but now her pumping fist was sliding much more smoothly along the length of his shaft.

She could feel his pulse rate increasing through the throbbing veins in her mouth, and she marveled at the sensation when she pressed hard on it with her tongue.

When she heard him laughing above her; Kagome pulled him out of her mouth, but didn't stop stroking him.

"Ticklish?" she couldn't help but ask.

He was flat on his back again, with his arm folded behind his head the same way it was before. She could see that his eyes were closed, and combined with the contented smile on those dangerous lips of his made him look more genuinely happy and at peace than she had ever seen him before. She took pleasure in that.

"I was just thinking," he deigned breezily, "how unbalanced the world is. Surely there is nothing I have done to warrant earning you." Curiosity gave way to melancholy at his depressing assessment, and there were two reasons for that.

For one; it saddened her that he truly did not believe himself deserving of love and affection. Sure, sex and carnal enjoyment were things he was entitled to, in his mind. But in his view; a terrible warlord like him – regardless of redemptive behavior – was undeserving of kindness, or anything good. But he was. He had done so much for her alone; he was more than deserving of all she had to give him. She wished he knew that too.

The second - and most upsetting - was that he literally had no idea how much she personally did owe the man. She had wronged him worse than any other being had likely wronged him – committed the most egregious offense. There would never be enough she could do for him - not that it was the reason she was doing this.

And to make it worse; he thought she was some perfect, selfless entity. Like she was too good to concern herself with demons like him. Little did he know, that it was she who was undeserving of his kindness. He felt like he had to do so much to be worthy her, but he'd already done more than enough.

Would it always be this way? Would it always feel so terrible?

Was she forced to carry this terrible secret alone for the rest of her days?

When he was gone, would she still be hurting him?

Maybe when he was demon again, she should tell him. At least then; he wouldn't have to be miserable for the rest of his life. He could hate her, instead of missing her. She owed him that much. It was something to consider.

"You are far better than I deserve, Kagome," she looked up to see his eyes now upon her, so kind and soft that it cut her to the core. "It simply does not seem fair for me to have you."

"Believe me," she told him softly, and tried to keep the somberness out of her tone, "you have more than earned it."

He moaned when she dipped down to take him in her mouth again, and commenced stroking and sucking him at a much more fervent pace. It was as if she was trying to offer her apology with her mouth and her hands, because she was too much a coward to do it with words. But it would never be enough.

But at least she could make him feel good for a moment. At least for a moment; his mound of troubles was forgotten. It was so insufficient, but all she could do.

"Kagome..."

She recognized the warning in his tone, so she sped her pace even faster. He seemed surprised, as if he expected her to move away, but he certainly wouldn't complain as she milked him into her waiting mouth.

He cried out softly when he finally came, and panted heavily as she continued to stroke him until he emptied himself completely. When he was done; he laid there breathing as she carefully abandoned his softening cock, trying to take the mess with her as she left.

She didn't say anything, so once he caught his breath; he propped himself on his elbows again to make sure she was okay. His contented, half-lidded gaze fell upon her just in time to see her spitting into one of the sake glasses they were drinking from the night before.

He watched the substantial load of his cum fill the empty glass with a morbid sense of pride. It had been a while, and she did make him very excited. He'd been saving that one up for some time.

"I'm sorry."

Another ridiculous apology tore his attention away from his seed, and he looked at her curiously.

"What possibly for?"

He was going to sit up with her, but she began making herself comfortable at his side; so he remained laying down, and wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest.

"Guys want you to swallow it."

Looking down at the crown of her head; he decided against asking where she'd learned such a thing, while at the same time trying to discern if her statement was true. He'd never given it any thought, but after taking a moment to do just that; he offered his honest reply.

"Once it is in your mouth, I do not care what you do with it, miko."

She cuddled closer, but wasn't looking when he cast a wary glance her way. "And even if I did, why concern yourself? You should do as you please."

Looking up at his earnest features, she smiled shyly.

"Just because you came, it doesn't mean I'm done pleasing you. At least, I don't want to be."

She wasn't uncomfortable when he just looked down at her thoughtfully, because the tenderness in his sated eyes told her all she needed to know.

"I am pleased when you are pleased," he finally told her softly. It made her smile, because she knew it was the truth, and the implications of that lifted her spirits greatly.

"Then you must be a pretty happy guy when we're together."

That thoughtful, considering gaze again appraised her gently, but was not the reason for the sheepish look he received.

"That was my first time."

"I am aware." She couldn't tell if he was amused or not, but she couldn't hide her insecurity. She at least felt comfortable enough with him to voice it.

"Was it that obvious? I mean; did I do it okay?"

It was obvious to her that he'd done oral stuff a lot, and she worried the mismatching experience levels did not work in his favor.

He looked like he was trying to discern whether or not she was serious. In the end, he decided it was safe to let his amusement show, which he did with the subtle quirking at the corners of his mouth.

"In case I was not obvious," he rumbled drolly, "I thoroughly enjoyed myself. You were perfect." His gentle assurances were followed by a chaste kiss on her sweaty forehead. The warmth and security of his lips and his hold had her nestling closer to him.

"Any notes? For next time?"

Another short laugh escaped him, and he looked back down at her. Was she serious? She had to be fucking with him, right? Just to be safe, he answered honestly again.

"No. Do not change a thing."

Considering her a moment; his small smile never left him.

"And me?" She pulled back enough to meet his eyes while his arm around her rubbed soothing patterns in her skin. "Is there anything you would like me to do differently?"

The question seemed to cure her shy countenance, and with a grin; she propped herself on one elbow.

"Nope. You receive oral very well."

"Excellent." His smile was less subtle now as he removed his gaze from her. "Except, next time..."

"Yes?" She was all ears as she eagerly waited for his criticism. He cut his eyes her way.

"When will that be?"

"I don't know," she answered indignantly, but burst into giggles as he pulled her on top of him, chest to chest.

"Ten minutes? An hour?" Her attempts to retreat only saw him squeezing her tighter. "I can be very flexible; my schedule is wide open."

"Yeah, you better get your fill," she told him and finally stopped struggling. "That's gonna change when you get back to the West."

Stifled by reality once again; he relaxed his hold, but she made no move to escape.

"You said you would visit," he reminded her, and she slid back down to lay beside him.

"Yeah, but I can't just hop on a train every time you want a blowjob."

It was a reasonable thing to surmise, but he did think about it a moment. He was a problem solver, after all.

"I will send Ah-Un."

She didn't know if the suggestion made her laugh, or the deadpanned delivery. Either way, she had the same answer.

"It's not sustainable."

When she saw him crack a smile; she cuddled deeper into his chest. He watched, inexplicably pleased to have her cling to him so tightly.

"You're right," he told the top of her head, still smiling as he eyed her cautiously. "You should just come with me."

When she responded with laughter; he felt a burning pain in his chest, but he kept his smile plastered, and tried again.

"When I am ready to return West, would you come with me?"

He felt her freeze, and then she pried her cheek off of his firm chest to look him timidly in the eye.

"For a visit?"

"No." All mirth was gone from both their features as he locked her into a paralyzing gaze. "Come back with me. To stay."

His eyes roved all over, assessing everything about her. He may not be demon, but he could read her fear and trepidation easily enough.

"Unless my humanity is the only thing you find appealing."

It was what he had suspected all along; he was just waiting for her to confirm it. She basically did when she saw him transform. The fear and distrust of him was written all over her face, and despite protestations; he could see her remembering all the things he'd done... before.

Last night had been promising, and he congratulated himself for making strides in getting her assimilated. But frolicking around with him as a demon once a month was one thing; picking up and moving West to be with him full time was completely another.

From the look on her face; it did not appear to be appealing to her. It was disappointing, but not surprising.

"Thats not it," she insisted all the same. "It's just... you hate humans."

That excuse sounded weak to her own ears, and by his flat, hooded glare it appeared he felt the same.

"Things have-"

"Your people hate humans," was a more accurate excuse, and instead of arguing, he deflated just a bit. "I would only be causing trouble if I went with you."

Why was he doing this now? She was just coming to terms with the way of the world, and her place in it. Finally accepting the fleeting nature of their relationship enough to get intimate without getting too badly hurt, and now he wants to scramble up her emotions?

He knew she wanted to go with him, but now she knew why she couldn't. Now, she agreed that she shouldn't.

"Their opinions are of no consequence," he said haughtily. "If I wish you to be there, all must accept it. I assure you; no danger will befall you."

"I know," she insisted, but her confidence was not convincing. "I trust you. But..."

But the biggest danger was not for her, and it was not herself she was worried about.

But he interpreted her reluctance differently.

"You do not wish to remain by my side once I am demon again."

She could taste his disappointment, but it was that hint of resentment that made her blood simmer. He was the one who hated humans; she wasn't prejudiced. Last night should have told him that. If anyone deserved to be shamed, it was him.

But nobody deserved that, and she could tell it saddened him. She didn't like it either, and he was strong for her before. She would be strong in his moment of doubt.

"You said it yourself many, many times." He hated her patronizing, gentle tone. As if he was a child. He also hated how she wasn't wrong. "It would cause a lot of people a lot of trouble. Especially you. It's too dangerous." He didn't answer as she rubbed her palm soothingly across his chest, placating him. "Anyway, what would I do in the Western Lands? Besides you."

"Whatever you wish," he assured her hopefully. His expectant expression told her he still wasn't convinced, however.

"Look," she sighed. "We don't even know how to change you back yet. We don't even know if we can." She saw him frown before he moved to sit, and she followed suit. "It might be a long time before you get to go home. Let's just... enjoy the time we have, while we have it. Okay?"

She rubbed his back sympathetically, but the scowl he fixed her with told her he did not appreciate the concern.

"You have insisted that we will find a way at all costs," he bit out coldly. "I do not plan for failure. You seem quite inclined to."

Finally removing herself from him; she could no longer keep her irritation bottled up.

"Hey, this was what you've been suggesting all along," she reminded him testily. "Now that I finally understand and am willing to go along with this; you want to change your tune? Are you bound and determined to make this not work?"

"No, I want it to work at all costs," he assured her, still frowning. "I was a fool before. You were right."

"No, you were right. I was the fool." Seeing how upset he was becoming; she forced herself to calm down, and placed a comforting hand on his bicep. "Toran explained everything, and now I understand that-"

"Toran." The name was spat with such disdain it actually caused her to recoil. "You trust her judgement over mine?"

His sneer was so different from the loving, contented gaze he fixed her with just moments ago. She couldn't believe how strange he was acting.

"It was both your judgment until five minutes ago; she was just backing you up." Sizing him up and down, she raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Did it really only take one blowjob to get you to forget your convictions? You said I couldn't change your mind that way."

She all but begged him at the river to let her try and persuade him with her mouth, and he took his throbbing erection right out of her hand. Was it really just as easy as all that? Was his resolve slipping, or was she really just that good?

"She is trying to interfere," he tried desperately to convince her. "She wants This One for herself, she always has."

"I did not get that impression. She encouraged me to sleep with you."

The news did not seem to surprise him, and he grabbed her upper arms.

"She is crafty," he insisted. "She is devious. She wants to pit you against me so that I would mate her."

She dismissed him immediately with an indignant scoff.

"I think your ego is getting too big even for you." His scowl deepened, and he released her from his iron grasp. "Did she lie?" Kagome demanded. "Would my presence not cause problems in your lands, and put us both in danger? Do you want to end up like your father?"

They both knew the answer to all of those questions was no, so he didn't bother. Instead, he desperately and determinedly placed a hand at her cheek, and tried to use his gaze to hypnotize her into believing him. At least, that's what it seemed like to her.

"I can protect us," he fiercely insisted. He was begging her to believe him. "When I am demon again; I assure you that I will."

But begging wasn't his style, and it just looked so painfully wrong on him. Red flags were flying up everywhere, and it was making her really nervous.

"What's gotten into you?" she demanded, brow creasing in open assessment. "Ever since you got Rin back you've been acting really strange."

Now it was his turn to scoff indignantly.

"Oh, is it strange that I spent half the night with my face between your legs?"

"Actually, it kind of is," she answered honestly. Strange for him, though not at all terrible.

"You certainly weren't complaining."

Kagome scowled.

He was pulling his tricks again, but she wasn't going to let him distract her with semantics. She was on to something, and he was trying to divert her.

"You've hardly been to see Rin; you refuse to talk about her." Displeased at her observation; he moodily averted his gaze. "You stare into space even more than you used to, and now you're talking like this? I'm worried."

Seeing him be evasive was surreal. She gentled, and used her hand to force him to look at her again. There was just something wrong with his eyes, but she couldn't pinpoint it...

"Did something happen last night when you were out? Did those tigers you killed do something?"

Looking deep in his eyes; she saw his pupils dilate right before averting his gaze again, and she recalled their grinding session by the irori.

'That's two signs of deceit.' No wonder she didn't recognize him.

"That's it, isn't it?" He was aggressively avoiding her now, mouth set in a firm line. She grabbed the cloth spilling off his shoulders and pulled him into her. "What did they do to you? I can tell it was bad, please tell me. I want to help."

"There is nothing you can do," he finally said.

She released him, placing a palm on each cheek this time and gently coaxed him to look at her. His eyes went from glassy to now just looking... broken.

"Try me," she begged, and he finally met her gaze. He seemed to consider her plea a brief moment before removing his stare yet again. "Please; I want to understand. What did they do to you? Don't you trust me?"

Now he knew how it felt; he'd used that line on her a few times. When his shoulders slumped a fraction, she interpreted it as resignation. He slightly hung his head, and finally relented.

"Do you want to know why I was outside my territory when they found me?" he softly asked.

She nodded silently with wide eyes, and he sighed.

"Rin began her first bleed just days before she was taken. That was why we were traversing the border when I was attacked; I was seeking out an ally for female assistance, as I am unequipped to handle such matters."

Well, she wasn't expecting that. Wide eyes grew wider.

Just how old was Rin, anyway? She couldn't be much more than 10 years old, but she didn't get her period until she was 12. Then again, she hadn't seen the girl in a while...

Shaking herself; she placed a tender hand on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you just come to me?"

He lifted his bowed head to crack an eyelid.

"You and I were not on friendly terms then."

Now, friendly wouldn't even begin to describe their relationship.

"I still would have helped Rin," she gently informed him. He closed his eyes at the floor beneath him.

"It hardly matters now." His answering tone was defeated, and it set her nerves on edge.

She had a feeling there was more, so she quietly waited for him to continue.

"I transformed before we made it there, and when they attacked; I could not fend them off. And now I cannot bear to look upon her."

Confusion briefly crossed her features before his tortured countenance appeared and had the voice to match. She got a quick glance at troubled violet eyes before they slammed shut in apparent anguish. He grit his teeth, as if trying to distract himself with pain.

"I cannot look at her, knowing..." She became frightened as she watched him fumble, mind obviously in disarray. "She trusted me to protect her, and I could not. She is there, like that," he sneered disdainfully, and her mind easily supplied the missing fangs. "because of me. Because of my failure."

Horror encroached upon her features as realization settled in. His voice was measured and calm by most people's standards, but she could tell he was just holding on by a thread. What would happen if it broke, she had no idea.

"I fear what will happen when she awakes," he shamefully confessed. "What she will remember. What she will see when she looks at This One."

It all made sense now. She had been so stupid.

She knew he blamed himself for Rin getting taken. She thought he would be relieved to get her back, but he'd just been beating himself up. Without her awake to prove she is okay; he was being tortured as he waited for her in limbo.

That was why he needed a distraction. That was why he wasn't with her right now. Until she woke up; he was going to tear himself up worrying about her. Add to that; he was worried when she came to, she would blame him as much as he blamed himself.

Well, hopefully this elixir worked; soon they would know. And once Rin woke up and proved she was okay, and she still loved him; hopefully that would be all he needed to give himself a break.

He would probably always still hold this against himself, but hopefully; once he knew everything turned out alright, he could forgive himself.

"I saw the fear in your eyes when I transformed. If she looks at me like that..."

Guilt coursed through her veins as she remembered his transformation. If only she'd reacted better. She knew she had nothing to fear.

"And what's worse; she should." Shaking her head; Kagome rubbed the hand on his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him. He didn't appear to even feel it. He just kept looking at the floor, and grimacing. "I could not stop them; she should be furious that I did not. I am... ashamed."

When he turned to look at her; she was paralyzed by the self-deprecating display. She hadn't seen him this raw since the compound. This was even worse.

Inuyasha was right to be worried about his mental state.

"She should not have had to pay that price for my shortcomings. When she awakes; she will look at me knowing I could not protect her. That I cannot."

She couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his face in both hands and forced him to look at her. He was looking right through her.

"She should not trust me, and neither should you." His eyes finally found her then, and all she could do was shake her head. "You are right. I do not..." She watched him struggle to communicate. With her hands still on his face, all she could do was disagree in silence. She couldn't find her voice.

"I felt compelled to prove something just now," he admitted, as if he only just realized it. "As if I could erase my failure with Rin by successfully protecting you from those who would certainly mean you harm. But to do so would only be putting you at risk. It is unacceptable."

Finally, his eyes became wide and intense, burning with a fire in stark contrast to the dull glaze held just moments before. He grabbed her face as she was holding his, and he looked straight in her eyes, demanding her to listen. "I apologize. You were right; you cannot trust me. I cannot protect you. Do not forget that."

That was enough. She couldn't take him begging anymore. When she released his face; he released hers. She launched herself forward, and pulled him into a tight, frantic hug.

"Kami," she whispered distantly. "Why didn't you tell me? I had no idea you were going through all this."

He wasn't hugging back, as if he was in shock. When she finally pulled away; she still held his shoulders. She looked right into his eyes.

"Sesshoumaru. What happened to her is not your fault."

"All of this is my fault." The cold finality in his voice threw a shiver down her spine. When he was sure he had her attention, he kept her silent with his eyes. "All of it."

He was wrong! None of it was his fault. It was hers.

She needed to tell him. It was the only right thing to do. She should have done it sooner, but better late than never. She could release him from his torment and self-loathing by turning that loathing over to her.

It would be hard, but she had to do it. She cared about Sesshoumaru, and he was hurting. She was making him hurt.

If the roles were reversed, he would absolutely come clean. He would rather she hate him than herself.

If she loved him, she had to set him free.

Did she love him?

"Sesshoumaru..."

He was waiting, but she couldn't make words. How to begin? How to tell someone your wish changed them as a person? How to tell someone you ruined their life?

Her mouth opened, and she stammered. He seemed mildly concerned for her, at least enough to distract from his lament for a moment. But that wasn't good enough-

A loud banging on the door stole both of their attention. Inuyasha didn't wait for them to open, but he also was not about to barge in.

"Come to the elder's house!" he shouted from outside. "Rin's awake!"

Wide eyes returned to one another for a fraction of a second, before they scrambled to their feet and bolted out the door.

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A/N: Thank you so much for all your kind words! I hope you have been enjoying the smut so far. You guys have earned it XD