A/N: Again I cannot urge this strongly enough, if you haven't read Eden by obsessmuch, PLEASE read that first, then bookmark/follow this one and come back later. I am a fan. That is why I wrote this parody. This parody contains many spoilers as I've said before. Okay, sorry just a reminder though maybe I will add that disclaimer to each chapter heading its so important to me that people read and love the original.

Also if you're worried, no obsessmuch was not offended by my parody. She actually literally favorited it when I had it posted years back and that made me so happy, especially when she reviewed it, I still have that saved on my computer. So it's all cool ;) I think getting a response from obsessmuch was actually a bigger deal to me than if JK Rowling had, like seriously, I like HP fanfic more than the original books if I'm honest omg XD

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CHAPTER 5: FRUSTRATIONS

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Lucius awoke in Malfoy manor to feel the Dark Mark on his arm burning. He groaned and looked at the clock. It was 2 o clock in the morning. What the hell did Voldemort want right now? The Dark Lord was always summoning him at odd hours lately, not that he could complain about it and live to tell the tale.

Lucius grudgingly got out of bed and Narcissa was stirred awake by his movements.

"W-here are you going?" the ageless blonde beauty mumbled with her eyes still half closed and her face covered in a greasy anti-wrinkle cream.

"What does it matter to you?" he snapped, "It's not as if we do anything anyways!"

"That's true," Cissa mumbled and went back to snoring loudly.

Lucius cringed.

What a pig he had married. Didn't work. Didn't clean. And didn't touch him except to procreate.

They had one child.

He had most definitely been cheated by this arranged marriage.

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Voldemort's Secret Lair

Voldemort sat in his throne with a smiley-face bathrobe and plush hush-puppy slippers on his feet. A mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and a heavy book were on the table beside him. Lucius knew the Dark Lord, while mysterious, was also a man of creature comforts and took delight in the simpler things in life. Lucius respected that.

Lucius bowed low. "My lord, you summoned me."

"Ah, Lucius, yes, I wanted to chat with you," his reptilian face broke into a wide grin, "Sit down, make yourself comfortable."

Lucius sat himself in a plush armchair beside Voldemort's throne and Voldemort flicked his wand at the fireplace to light it up.

"Cozy?"

"Yes, my lord," Lucius drawled and tried not to roll his eyes. Very few people knew it but Lord Voldemort was an exceptionally cordial man, though sometimes he took his hospitality too far and some of the Death-Eaters in the inner circle, like Bella, abused it.

"Hot chocolate?" Voldemort grinned.

"No, thank you, my lord."

Voldemort's grin faded into a thin lipless line and Lucius quickly added, "But thank you for asking, um, my lord you wouldn't happen to have any brandy?" he fixed a falsely enthusiastic smile on his face, "A brandy would do me endless good!"

Voldemort's grinned widely, "But of course, Lucius, you know I keep us fully stocked."

He snapped his fingers and a large glass of Brandy appeared by Lucius' side.

"Is that enough?"

"Yes," Lucius hissed. Did the Dark Lord think he was an alcoholic or something?

Voldemort lifted up his glass, "Cheers."

"To the cause," Lucius muttered and raised his glass.

Voldemort took a long-loud-slurp of his hot chocolate. Lucius flinched at the sound of the slurping but used all his self-control to compose himself into an emotionless mask.

"I was curious to know how things have progressed with the mudblood," Voldemort said after awhile.

Lucius felt his heartbeat tense for the briefest second. He looked up at Voldemort who was grinning widely at him and had a chocolate mustache above his lip.

Lucius tried hard to ignore the fact that the Dark Lord had a milk mustache. Though it was almost too much to bear. Almost as bad as when the mudblood had been thinking dirty thoughts of them together to try to get him to read her mind. Thankfully, he had solved that situation with the mind-reading proof glasses, but there was no where else to look with Voldemort.

Lucius shifted uncomfortably in his chair and gripped at the armrests. "My lord, she is insufferable. She refuses to comply or say a word about Potter though I
have tortured her for hours, using quite inventive methods."

Voldemort's red slit eyes opened wider as if he was sensing something he had never sensed before in Lucius. It was almost like 'compassion'. But that was too dirty a word. It was unthinkable that his most faithful follower could have 'compassion' for a mudblood.

Yet suspicion did begin to creep into Voldemort's mind.

"I don't doubt your skills as a torturer Lucius, no one has been able to withstand you before..." Voldemort's voice lowered to an accusatory whisper, "Though it is curious that a mere mudblood girl could withstand you..."

"My lord, she is nothing!" Lucius avowed, "Her refusal to give in is nothing more than obstinate pride."

Voldemort stared at Lucius uncertainly. "You didn't try using Veritaserum did you? You know how I feel about that."

"No, my lord, I know your opinion and how you feel about easy and productive methods."

Voldemort felt reassured and his doubt faded. "Good. Very good, you know me well Lucius. I like to draw things out, especially where torture is involved."

Lucius nodded his head, "Of course my lord, to do anything else would be unpracticed. War is an art, after all."

The Dark Lord nodded his head approvingly.

"Truer words have never been spoken, Lucius," Voldemort raised up a pointed fingernail. "People little appreciate the sophistication it takes to run a large organization...You haven't forgotten my cunning plan to lure Harry away from safety and into our clutches?"

"I have not. Rest assured, Potter will be shocked when he sees his mudblood friend tomorrow and realizes the torture she has been put through."

Voldemort grinned, "You have prepared her sufficiently then?"

"Oh, yes, more than sufficiently," Lucius chuckled, "she is in quite a state now. I dare say even you, my lord, will be shocked when you see her."

"Very good, Lucius. Just make sure she is conscious and can walk, we will need her to scream a lot, for drama's sake. You may go now, I look forward to tomorrow. We may very well have Potter in our clutches by then..."

Lucius bowed again and left.

He damn well hoped that Potter showed up and took back his friend. Keeping the filthy mudblood as his captive was disturbing his whole life and schedule. Lucius wished for nothing more than to get rid of her; for things to go back to the way they were, when his favourite hobbies were elf-beating and pillaging of muggle villages.

He had a ominous premonition...an almost terrible feeling about keeping the mudblood any longer.

No doubt the stubborn chit would keep pushing and pushing him... until eventually he would snap and be forced to take it too far.

Merlin forbid that day should ever come.

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end of chapter 5

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Author's note: Oh there will be lemons, there will be tears. Please please review it would really encourage me and thanks for reading!