Eating was simple, Drinking was simple, Sleeping was simple.
And making potions was even simpler.
The Great Hall was a convenient place for many in the sense that no one would dare try any funny business there. Because in the Great Hall, the phrase 'the walls have eyes and ears' took on a whole different meaning. So for fear of punishment, all the students wisely decided to remain polite if not at least civil.
However, for the three bullies sauntering in through its entrance, this universal rule was bent. They were the Gryffindor princes, rulers of the roost, making both student and professor alike swoon in their presence.
Severus Snape soon realised that eating and drinking wouldn't be a simple task anymore. The swooning and the haughty grins were revolting especially those god-damned cat whistles. Also despite what one would think, it wasn't just the female students melting under the bullies' gaze. For Merlin's sake, some of the professors were too! All of the smarter of the population had retreated to god knows where and so Severus was stranded all alone to internally vomit every time Potter made a kissy-face at another one of his adoring fans.
At least he could avoid the worst of the pranks here. He had found the antidote to tongue swelling solutions years ago.
Over the next few months, Severus Snape could very well say that he had gained some new friends( although he would never utter that to a single soul). Of course, the house-elves could be annoyingly subservient in their services but anything was better than having to watch Potter and Black snog yet another student in broad daylight.
It seemed now that Severus Snape's routine had become even more simple. Wake up, rush to the kitchens to grab a quick snack, go to class, sneak to the kitchens for lunch, dodge the Marauder's hexes, go back to class, study, brew, eat something from the kitchens, sleep. Unknown to the dark-haired teen though, was that soon enough even sleep would be a chore.
Lily Evans had been growing distant for a bit these few months. Severus never acknowledged this however and simply ignored those slightly listless eyes when he talked, how often she excused herself with another sob story about having forgotten her potions essay, and the subtle remarks about his appearance. But Severus cared for her, so much that he assumed that she did too.
Once upon a time, she had cared for him just as much as he did for her but those days were long fading. The pressure to just do herself a favour and dump the slimy git was weighing heavy in her heart. But the cracks were starting to show and so she left.
Blocking out the image of the tears dripping down his sallow cheek as she stared at the potions essay in front of her, for once actually having forgotten to do it.
He wished someone would hug him.
He didn't care how childish it seemed- he just wanted to be hugged.
The dorms were obviously closed off to him, his house wouldn't want to be shamed with the filthy half-blood scum who got dumped by a mudblood. It hurt too much to remember Lily's insult, the quiet giggle he had heard, the humiliation of being called Snivellus by his best friend. The urge to just scream at her that he didn't need help from a mudblood was so strong- why on Earth had he done it?!
The wound stung too much for him to do anything but just let them do as they pleased. Fighting back always ended worse for him in the end anyway. He hated those bullies so bitterly, he couldn't even be motivated to bring up a petty insult or fire a hex at their backside. He hated them so much he couldn't bring himself to care.
Something became visible in the corner of his eye- a flash of red hair. He was too taken aback to go up to her but it seemed she was coming to him!
But still, it wouldn't do to be too hopeful- if he was the wound would just sting more the next time.
"Severus," he shifted his gaze away from her but caught a crimson blush on her cheeks.
"Lily."
"I'm sorry Sev, but I just can't be your friend anymore."
"Why," he couldn't help it but his voice broke slightly.
She blushed even more at hearing his cold voice, " I love you, but I'm afraid you'll join Him," she whispered the last part.
Severus seethed on the inside- didn't she know him at all!
" Mulciber and Avery just give me the creeps. I've seen you hanging around with them for a bit now."
"Yeah they love chumming up with me, I'm sure my ribs can tell you how much I love hanging around those sadists," He sneered and Lily looked up shocked.
Was she that blind to not notice! "Sev, have you gone to Madame Pomfrey?" she looked stricken as she leaned towards him but he had no more patience for her false kindness.
"Bugger off Evans! I know you just don't want to drag around the charity case with you everywhere-"
"That's not true Sev, please,"
"No Lily we're done" he lightly brushed his fingers over hers, " I'll still miss you though" he whispered.
But Lily yanked him back, landing a soft kiss on his lips before she retreated. Severus still turned his back though, just as she had done not some few days ago.
He did hear one last thing before he was out of her earshot, "I'm sorry for being such a coward Sev" but Severus Snape simply thought it a whisper of the wind.
Dad was dead.
Dead after pushing his son out of the way of a madwoman.
A madwoman who happened to be his own wife.
Mother had not been happy. Despite her husband being a muggle she still loved him (for as much as her psychotic heart would allow) so of course, she was incensed that her good-for-nothing slimy git of a son had been spared when her love had not.
Stones rolled under his feet, he impatiently kicked them to the side of the pavement.
Whispers in the wind, but not soft words of regretful promise. No, he strained to make out the mysterious sound. It was….wailing.
He rounded the corner of the alley to find the source of the soft weeping. Despite his best efforts to remain silent, the being shot out from its fetal position after Severus stepped a little too harshly on a scrunched crisp packet. He shook the filthy litter of his boot and hazarded a look at the being no less than 5 feet away from him.
It simply stared, large owlish eyes highlighted with dark bluish creases under its bulging pupils. It obviously hadn't slept in a while. Severus could identify that child(because what adult could be that small?) had a dark olive complexion, but the severe malnutrition still made it seem ashen and extremely pale. It couldn't have been more than 6.
Despite the snarky voice in his mind to just leave the brat, Sev pulled out something from the pocket of his worn trench coat.
It was an orange, still quite ripe. The offering was taken with extreme suspicion on the child's part; Severus knew it was irrational, but he felt as if the kid could see right through him, scrutinise and judge him for being a slimy git. But the child slowly peeled it and gingerly placed one segment into his mouth. It smiled.
Severus could only walk away after a brief wave and smile (yes he smiled), after all, what else was possible for him to do?
But that shy smile, the shining in those owlish eyes, the overwhelming gratitude, was more fulfilling for him than any amount of respect he strived to earn from his classmates. Because the kid had seen the real him and had accepted it with a smile.
Pale feet tapped rhythmically on the grimy wooden boards of the small bedroom.
Severus Snape had for once been proud of himself in his life. Genuinely proud. After the incident with the orange, he had decided to volunteer at the local under-staffed primary school in his town. Maybe it was the nostalgia of his own school days, the sorrow of his once-beloved school falling into ruin, or perhaps his quest for self-redemption- he would never know. But he had done it, maybe he was going mad, and surprisingly he had found it enjoyable.
Of course, some of the students were practically impossible, to begin with, but that simply motivated him further. By the end of the day, he had managed to convince them all to at least attempt to learn, and deploy some interesting tactics to achieve it. They weren't playing games, he was just trying to efficiently teach them to remember their vocabulary.
He had been intimidating at first, but soon quite a few of the children had endeared themselves to him. By now, he didn't give a fig that he shouldn't be wasting time teaching brats their a-b-cs or that smiling openly was a crime befitting only of those in the lower class.
He had never fit in with his house-mates and their toxic ideologies- he never appreciated anyone shoving protocol down his throat. In fact, he enjoyed this more, the greasy dungeon bat running around with primary school children- he could imagine the majority of Hogwarts having apoplexy at the sight. He smirked- so perhaps he did this for his own personal reasons as well- what better way to spite his enemies, it was probably the biggest insult to their pride.
But for once Severus had actually felt happy, and damn anyone who would rob him of it.
Coloured liquids of ranging variety simmered gently in cauldrons aligned in a strange arrangement- the potioneer never taking his eyes off the concoctions as he continued with his experiment.
He had finished it, in between two lean calloused fingers was suspended a narrow vial of a chestnut brown colour.
It was essentially a magical substitute of antidepressants. There were cheering charms and elixirs of euphoria but these were more controlled. Rather than the depressive thoughts plaguing him constantly, the potion would dull the reactions of chemicals and delay them so the emotions would be considerably more manageable. What was even better, was that this potion targeted specific neurotransmitters and either dulled or amplified a reaction to maintain a healthy chemical balance in the brain. Coupled with therapy or counselling, it was a promising treatment for depression, anxiety and other mood disorders although he would have to do more research.
After a few samples had been stored neatly away, Severus downed one of the vials. He appreciated that the potion's effects were gradual since raging mood swings were the last things he wanted to deal with today. But as he fell asleep Severus Snape could not help but smile, as for once in his life he had managed a restful sleep.
He rocked back and forth gently, his face partially hidden behind a curtain of ebony hair.
Mother was going to sell him off, the Death Eaters needed more recruits and cared less if they were willing or not.
Albus Dumbledore declined to help the boy, despite Severus' persistence, the old coot cared only if the young man would be interested in becoming a spy-no doubt to increase his own arsenal of personal weapons.
Enough was enough.
The samples of his experimental potion had been sent off to a renowned potions master on the mainland a few days ago. The same Potions master he would have been apprenticing with after graduation.
A notice had been sent to the primary school that he may not return. They had been disappointed but in the morning came across an anonymous donation in a briefcase simply labelled with- use it well. They had been ecstatic.
He wouldn't let them take him. It was only a matter of minutes before they came to mark him.
He twirled the gleaming black object between his long, calloused fingers.
He wore an emotionless mask- he needed to do this fast. Footsteps and gruff voices could be heard down the stairwell. It was now or never.
*BANG*
For a dark lord, he was not as disfigured as she would've guessed. But then reality shoved itself in her face.
She froze in terror, he was coming to kill her son. Her baby boy.
He taunted her, offered her the chance to be spared. She was so terrified, she briefly considered it but stopped. She could hear her child's wails behind her. What a coward she would be to offer her child for her own freedom. A pair of dark eyes came up unbidden in her mind- no she would not be a coward again.
The emerald light hurtled to her but she knew her baby would survive. She wouldn't fail another as she had before.
Harry James Potter has huddled alone, a child of barely 4 years. He was silently sobbing, a pale hand reached over to wipe his tears away, always so gentle and caring.
The young boy looked into a set of gleaming onyx eyes- he smiled.
The young man smiled back, gathering the small child with him. How simple it was to comfort this child, how simple it was to share his feelings with the boy, how simple it was to protect the small life in his arms.
Harry felt a soft kiss on his forehead and relaxed. He found it quite easy to drift back into a peaceful sleep.
Ron Weasley had called him a no-good traitor. Spat in his face and told Harry to crawl back under whatever rock he had come from.
It stung, really bad. That night Severus had held him as he cried in despair at having lost one of his first-ever friends. Just because he had tried to be friendly with the rival house, his best friend had shunned him.
But the Slytherins had been surprisingly supportive.
Yet he craved none of their re-assurances as much as one person- Sev.
He simply sat there while Harry clung to his cloak and sobbed for all he's worth.
He was ever more grateful Sev was there- it took the sting away.
He was sure though, that just before he had fallen unconscious, he had seen Sev's eyes water a little as well.
"Harry, that is the most dunderheaded, hair-brained scheme I have ever heard- do you want to get yourself KILLED!"
"Sev, chill it's not as bad as you think-"
"A reckless suicide mission worthy of the most reckless Gryffindor I've ever met."
"Bloody Merlin Sev, I'm NOT FIVE ANYMORE! I DON'T NEED A BLOODY BABYSITTER!"
"Sorry Sev, I didn't mean to shout..."
"Just be careful kid, the world's not the most forgiving place."
He hugged the older man, "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing,"
Severus snorted and muttered, "Foolish child," Harry just smiled.
The Dark Lord was back and one was already dead.
Harry was plagued with images of Cedric's terror-stricken face as he fell lifeless not even having comprehended what had happened.
He screamed and thrashed, pulling at his hair, begging it to all just go away.
Sev sat near him, assuring Harry that he was not a murderer, the fault lay only with mouldy-shorts and his faithful rat.
He started telling him of all the most gruesome murder plots to get back at the Dark Lord and make him pay. Maybe humiliate snake-face as well- he wouldn't look too bad in a frilly neon pink tutu, you know.
Harry erupted into gales of laughter and the grief had abated a bit.
He fell asleep with a smile on his face, not noticing how Sev gently brushed away strands of hair.
That night, if one listened closely, they would hear the soft humming of a lullaby in the infirmary.
Harry laughed as the pink toad ran as fast as her piggy legs would carry her, all the way out of the iron gates.
Behind her came snapping wooden mouths all shouting various orders, berating her like a little school girl, and swarming like a hive of wasps.
Suffice to say, Filch didn't have to spend his precious time disposing of those ridiculous decrees- they had simply found a new, more worthwhile target.
He simply could not stop his gales of laughter and neither could Sev.
The look on her face had been priceless- it was truly a golden memory.
Exams were hard enough without resurrected Dark Lords to worry about.
But both friends put their heads together and Harry passed with flying colours.
Sev had been so proud of Harry that day- his little boy.
Neville Longbottom was dying and only one person could save him. The boy had never teased him and indeed had helped Harry out on many occasions. It was high time he repaid the favour.
Sev showed him every step, meticulous and Harry keenly listened to every single syllable.
Sev showed him the dose as well and soon enough, Neville started coughing lightly.
But by the time the boy's vision had cleared a healer had reached him and his saviours had disappeared.
He lay on a lumpy beige mattress supported by a wrought iron frame.
Sev gently gripped Harry's hand in his own.
He narrated to his friend stories that he had told him when Harry had been just a young boy, heroes of ages past, devilish tricksters who were both help and hindrance. He recited for Harry poems of expansive gardens filled with luscious vegetation and sprouting flowers of the sweetest scents. Anything that distracted his dear friend from his pain.
He told Harry of his friend with emerald eyes, the day he had lost her, the potions he had created in his youth and the children he had taught. He told Harry of his pain and of the gratitude he felt to him for his friendship.
They reminisce of the fun they had pranking the Dursleys and sneaking food. The nights spent gazing at the stars talking about everything and nothing.
Harry coughed roughly- it was all going to end soon.
"Sev, I'm sorry. I'm going to leave you all a-alone." His green eyes swam with tears imagining his friend's grief.
Severus Snape simply shook his head- and that's when Harry realised, Severus had never really been alive in the first place, simply an imprint of a departed soul on the Earth.
Funny how his dearest friend had been a ghost this whole time. But it made a lot of sense in retrospect.
He smiled and willingly left with his friend once again by his side as they left the Earth for good- not even glancing back.
Many things had been simple in the life of Severus Snape.
But he had longed for one thing that he had obtained only in death.
A simple thing really - a friend.