The Trials of Mand'alor

Chapter 6

The Living Force

The feast that night should have been an occasion of revelry. A time to enjoy the spirit of Mandalore. A time to eat and drink one's cares away. A time to lose one's thoughts in the light of the bonfire. For Xerxes, he had never felt more awkward. While he was glad that he and his brother were the final two in the Mand'alor competition, Xerxes couldn't help feeling that quite a few people were judging him negatively.

Several of the former contestants were displeased with having been beaten by a couple of teenagers. Every now and then Xerxes would look up and see them shooting glares in his direction. Xerxes would then look over to Galbon who was retelling the story of the day's most recent victory to anyone who would listen, leaving out the part where they had healed his leg, of course. Xerxes wished he could feel as calm, but he had become especially wary of the Force users. He felt like, somehow, they knew what he and Galbon had done, that they had probably sensed that something was different.

The opinion Xerxes was most worried about was Akiza's. She had been the one to declare Galbon's leg broken. If anyone were to realize something was wrong it should've been her. So far, however, she had said nothing to anyone. Xerxes could tell that she was upset about something though. She had hardly looked at him and her face looked rather stern as she ate. The glow of the bonfire was highlighting her features and casting shadows across her face causing her to look absolutely terrifying.

Was she mad at him? Did she think that they had cheated somehow? What if she thought that people thought she was somehow involved in it? She had been the one to examine Galbon after all. It would make sense if they did think that way. Xerxes looked up from his thoughts and unintentionally made eye contact with Akiza. He quickly looked back down at his food. She had been watching him. She had probably noticed how stiff and uncomfortable he was feeling. She was smart. She could put two and two together. Xerxes decided he had better make a quick and silent exit before she could corner him.

As Xerxes got up and turned to make his way to his small dwelling, however, he nearly tripped upon realizing that someone was right behind him. It was Akiza. She had apparently divined what he was going to do next. She was gazing up at him with her arms folded across her chest. The expression on her face was hard to read, but she was clearly upset with him. Xerxes grimaced. He had seen firsthand the kind of wrath she was capable of.

"Xerxes, I need to talk to you." She didn't wait for a response. She immediately began walking towards the spot that they always talked at in the forest nearby when someone was upset. Xerxes knew that not following her would only make things worse.

"Okay." he sighed and slowly followed her with his hands in his pockets like a child caught red-handed by their mother.

The spot they had traveled to wasn't too far from their village. The light of the bonfire could still be seen through the trees. It was a clear night and the moon of Concordia was out, illuminating the ground. They were in a small clearing by a large tree. The same tree that he had been lounging in when Galbon had first come to him regarding the Mand'alor competition earlier that week. Akiza was standing next to the tree patiently waiting with her back turned to him. Xerxes swallowed and began rubbing the back of his neck, unsure of what he should say. "So, uh, ahem, you wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes. I do." She turned to face him, her arms still folded, the pale moonlight shimmering on her porcelain skin. If it weren't for the fact that she was probably about to reprimand him, Xerxes would have thought she looked quite beautiful. Except that the moonlight only served to make her look that much more ominous. "Xerxes, I need you to be completely honest with me about what happened out there today."

"Uh, yeah. Of course. What... what did you want to know?"

"I want to know how you did it."

Xerxes decided to feign ignorance, "Did what, exactly?" He immediately regretted his decision.

"Fix Galbon's leg! I set the bone myself, Xerxes. He shouldn't have been able to stand let alone run about the way he has been."

"Oh. Well, uh…"

"Did you have a Kolto 1) pack hidden on you?" She had begun walking towards him, placing her hands on her hips. "Did you find some other miraculous way of fixing a completely broken leg without knowing it?"

"See the thing is…"

"At least promise me you didn't get Tai Zhan to help you by using the Force to heal his leg."

Xerxes paused, staring her straight into her eyes, knowing she only wanted to be told the truth. "Okay. I promise you that Tai Zhan did not use the Force to heal Galbon's leg."

"Alright," she accepted, some of the stress leaving her. "Good."

Xerxes took a deep breath and continued to hold her in his gaze, "We did."

Akiza stared at him blankly for what seemed a long amount of time. "We did, what?" she asked.

Xerxes hesitated momentarily before continuing, "Galbon and I used the Force to heal his leg."

The stress Akiza had been feeling before immediately flowed back into her. "Xerxes, I thought I told you to be honest with me."

"But I am being…"

"Do you think I'm stupid?!" she began yelling at him and getting in his space. "That I wouldn't notice that something was wrong?!"

"Now, wait a minute." Xerxes began to raise his voice as well.

"Did you really think I was dumb enough not to notice that you had somehow fooled me into thinking that Galbon had broken his leg?!"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then why are you lying to me?!"

"He isn't lying, Akiza."

Xerxes and Akiza both jumped at the unexpected voice behind them. They whipped around to see Jedi master Tai Zhan walking towards them from the edge of the clearing. "He is telling you the complete and utter truth." he calmly stated.

"But he can't be." Akiza reasoned. "It's impossible."

"Oh, but it is possible." Tai stood before the two Mandalorians. "In fact, it is something I've been suspicious of for quite some time now."

"What do you mean?" Xerxes suspiciously wondered.

Tai brought a hand up to his chin as he began to recount the events of the past week. "When I first arrived on the planet this week I could sense every one of you around our ship, but as I approached one of you, your presence in the Force vanished. As if you had never been there to begin with."

"So that's why you stopped short before finding me." realization began dawning on Xerxes as he remembered that moment.

"That's right. What was more surprising was that you could conceal that Force presence for as long as you did without any Force training whatsoever. I immediately realized that you were possibly Force-sensitive. The events of the competition that you and your brother have participated in have served to confirm my theory. Especially today's miraculous healing. My guess is that the two of you have unknowingly developed these Force abilities over the years as a survival instinct."

"Wait." Xerxes interrupted. "Does that mean that Galbon has the same concealing ability as me?"

"No. His abilities are uniquely different. Galbon's ability is that he can mask his intentions. Make his Force presence appear to be less of a threat than it is. It is an ability that served him well during the hunts out in the desert yesterday. My only question, Xerxes, is why you didn't find it more suspicious when Galbon began suggesting the use of the Force earlier today?"

Xerxes was taken aback at the question. "Well, I did think it sort of came out of nowhere, but why would that be suspicious?"

"He hasn't spent very much time around me or any other Jedi recently." Tai pointed out. "Where do you suppose he could have gotten the idea that he may be Force-sensitive?"

As Xerxes mind began piecing things together, his breath hitched in his throat. "Are you saying that the Sith have been teaching him about the Force?"

"Not directly, no. I theorize that merely being around such strong Force auras and observing their behavior has made Galbon aware of his own powers. I do not feel the taint of the dark side within him as I do in the Sith. But I would urge caution against sending your brother to spy on your father's killers."

Xerxes froze in shock upon hearing Tai reveal what he and Galbon had been doing.

"Yes, Xerxes. I'm well aware of what you two are planning. You can't hide everything from a Jedi, and while I have no right to keep you from doing it, I would exhort you to stop. The path of vengeance is one that can ultimately lead you to the dark side. It is not something to be taken lightly."

Sensing the seriousness in Tai's voice, Xerxes looked down in shame. While he knew seeking to kill someone was generally frowned upon, Xerxes wanted vengeance for his father's death. He had been Tai's best friend too. Didn't Tai want justice for him? Why couldn't Tai see why this was so important?

Before Xerxes could say anything, Akiza spoke up. He had almost forgotten she was there. "Not that I don't trust you, Tai, but I'm going to need some sort of physical proof that Xerxes and Galbon are Force-sensitive."

Tai gazed at Akiza and considered her request. Xerxes was sure that Tai had already given them all the proof he needed to. What more could he possibly show?

"Curious." Tai murmured. "Very well. If the two of you will follow me, please."

Tai walked over to the tree in the clearing and took a crossed-legged seating position. He looked up, waiting for the two teens who hadn't been expecting him to be so willing. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked. "We haven't got all night."

Xerxes and Akiza exchanged perplexed glances as they joined the Jedi master. Tai gestured to Xerxes to join him. "If you will take a seat in front of me, Xerxes, we can begin."

Xerxes took his seat in front of the Jedi master and mirrored his position. Akiza was leaning against the tree as she observed the two men. Tai then began expounding upon the Jedi teachings, "What I am going to teach you is a very simple meditation technique used to sense one's surroundings. In order to do this, you must first have a clear understanding of what the Force is."

Xerxes nodded his head in understanding as Tai continued, "The Force is not some all-knowing god, nor is it the result of a god's power. It is an energy field that surrounds us, penetrates us and binds us together. Your father, Abram, once compared it to the Great Manda, which as you know, is the oversoul, a collective consciousness of all Mandalorians who have passed away. The Force is something very similar, possibly even one and the same."

It was good that Tai was using Mandalorian religion to help describe the Force. It made it a much easier idea to grasp for Xerxes. Tai continued his lesson, "The Force is an intertwined web of all living things. That is why it is referred to as The Living Force. It is also why it is so important to understand that all life is connected through the Force. All living things are in tune with the Force, some more than others. This technique I will teach you, will allow you to feel that connection to all the living things around you. From the plants to the animals, from the people to the very planet itself."

The Jedi master then stared directly at Xerxes. "Now then, Xerxes Fett. Are you ready to begin?"

Xerxes nodded firmly without hesitation.

"Very good. Now, I want you to close your eyes and clear your mind of distractions. Focus on my voice."

Xerxes obligingly closed his eyes and began to focus one Tai's voice. "Now, in your mind's eye, picture the embodiment of your soul, your very essence as a ball of energy deep inside you. Picture, it clearly. Can you see it?"

In his mind, Xerxes imagined a glowing green ball of energy sitting in the air in front of him. "Yes."

"Good, now take a small thread of that energy and find the connections to the things around you. To this tree, to the planet beneath you, to me and Akiza."

Xerxes imagined several strands connecting to his ball of energy, all feeding a light into him. He decided to follow one of the strands. He followed it until he found another ball of energy connected to Tai. Xerxes allowed his light to feed into Tai's energy ball. The connection he felt was…. different. Not bad, just different. Something new that Xerxes wasn't used to. Xerxes would've continued making connections, but he stopped when he heard Akiza gasp.

"What is it?" Xerxes questioned as his eyes flew open. Xerxes felt his weight suddenly grab him as he fell to the ground. "Argh!" He hadn't fallen very far, maybe a few inches, but he hadn't been prepared for the sudden fall. Wait, had he been floating? Had he been using the Force? Xerxes looked up at Tai with his mouth gaping in question. Akiza was also staring at him, wide-eyed, with her hands over her mouth.

Tai nodded confidently as he spoke, "And there is your proof. Only someone strong in the Force would be able to do that while meditating. Doubtless, you didn't even realize you were doing it, did you?"

Xerxes was too surprised to speak. All he could do was shake his head. Xerxes began wondering what this meant for him, what would happen next. As if hearing his thoughts, Tai spoke as he helped Xerxes back onto his feet. "I would recommend not focusing on what the future holds as far as your Force abilities are concerned. That will come in time. For now, you should be more focused on becoming the new Mand'alor. I believe this is why the Force has guided me here at this time. You have a great work ahead of you, Xerxes."

Tai then placed a hand on Xerxes' shoulder and leaned in close, speaking in a hushed voice, "I suspect that you and your brother may not be the only Force-sensitive Mandalorians here, but we can worry about that another time."

Tai started walking away from the stunned Mandalorian youths. He called out to them over his shoulder, "It's late and you should get some rest. You will need your strength tomorrow if you are to succeed." With that, Tai Zhan strode off into the night.

How long Xerxes stood there afterward, he didn't know. What had Tai meant by all of that? Why had he shown him the Force? What did he expect Xerxes to do with this knowledge? Xerxes continued to turn things over in his mind, never coming to any clear conclusion.

"Xerxes, are you alright?" Akiza spoke apprehensively. She must have seen the distress on his face. Xerxes slowly turned his head to look at her.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he asked.

Akiza could only glance down at the ground. Her brow furrowing at the lack of any answer for him.

Xerxes began speaking his mind to no one in particular. "I don't know how I should feel about this. I mean, what am I? Who am I? What does this mean for us as Mandalorians?" Xerxes began running his hands through his hair in exasperation. "Will people even accept me like… this?"

"Xerxes…"

"What if they think I'm some sort of freak? Would they follow me even if I did become Mand'alor?"

"Xerxes."

"What if it's Galbon? Would they follow him? Would he let the Sith influence his every decision?"

"XERXES!" He felt a pair of hands grab him and bring back to himself. Akiza was looking up at him with worry etched on her face. "You're rambling," she explained.

Xerxes took a deep breath and blinked, trying to organize his thoughts. "I… I'm sorry. I just, I don't know what this means. You must think I'm some bizarre creature now." Xerxes looked down dejectedly. How could anyone not think him strange?

Akiza cupped her hands on both sides of his face. "Look at me, Xerxes." He allowed her to turn his face towards her and began gazing into her amber eyes. "You're able to use the Force. So, use it and tell me if I mean it when I say I don't think any of those things about you."

Xerxes didn't need the Force to tell him that Akiza was being honest with him. But he did seem to find a connection to her through the Force that had always been there. Akiza continued to encourage him, "You're not some freak. You're not a mistake. All this means is, there is more to you than you first thought." She smiled softly. "It means that your dad was always right about you. That you were different for a reason. That you were destined for great things."

As she spoke, Xerxes could feel the truth of her words and the affection she had through the Force. The bond they had built over the years had become strong. Xerxes wondered why he never noticed it before. Perhaps the Force was showing him the things that had always been there.

Without realizing it, without even thinking about it, Xerxes leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. It felt better than he always thought it would. He allowed himself to get lost in the sensation of the kiss, lost in the softness of her lips. He wanted to make sure she knew how grateful he was to have her in his life, how much he had come to rely on her. He softly continued kissing her, until he heard her squeak in surprise.

Xerxes pulled away and looked at her. Her eyes were wide with surprise. Her lips had become swollen and her breathing ragged. If he could see her properly in the moonlight, he was certain he would see her blushing furiously. Perhaps he had overstepped his bounds.

Xerxes began apologizing as quickly as he could, "I'm sorry. I didn't think before doing that." He could feel the heat and embarrassment rising in his face. "I was just so caught up in what you were saying, and how much it meant to me and… I didn't mean to. I mean, I meant to, I just didn't mean…"

Akiza placed a hand on his shoulder to get him to stop talking. "It's alright, Xerxes. It's fine," she reassured him, still wide-eyed at his boldness. "You just caught me off guard is all."

"Oh. Okay." Xerxes averted his gaze. Pressing his lips together and rubbing his arm, Xerxes felt the tension settle in the pit of his stomach. She hadn't hit him at least. Xerxes knew that if she wasn't okay with someone getting in her space, she wasn't afraid to let them know. So, what did this mean? He realized that was a question he was asking himself a lot today.

Xerxes slowly raised his gaze to find Akiza looking away with equal determination. He felt that if he spoke he would say something embarrassing, but he spoke anyway. "So that was, uh… felt nice, right?"

"It certainly wasn't… bad." Akiza still looked slightly uncomfortable. She shifted uneasily but didn't release her gaze with him.

"So, should we go anywhere with this thing or…"

"I think," she interrupted. "I think we should follow Tai's advice and focus on your Mand'alor trial. This is something that we should… have time to think about. I certainly don't want to be the reason you lose focus and don't do your best tomorrow."

"Right. Yeah, good thinking." Xerxes agreed, unconsciously placing his hands on his hips.

"But we will talk about it." she quickly added. "Just, after you become Mand'alor, okay?"

"You still think I have a shot at it?"

As she began backing away with a smile in her eyes, she told him, "I've never doubted it." She quickly turned away and began making her way home, "Good night, Xerxes."

"Night." He said softly as a small grin broke out. Xerxes took one last look at the moon, sighed and started walking home to get some sleep. He didn't notice Akiza smile before she left, as she brought her hand up to her mouth, recalling how his lips had felt against hers.

1)Kolto- A liquid known for its healing abilities found on the oceanic planet of Manaan