It's like Gravitation

[Without the happy go lucky gay singer and the tall sarcastic sexy writer he stalks into true love...]

-

Kaye had a stalking problem.

No, not like that, she was not the stalker she happened to be the stalkee (however one would spell that.)

Since Kaye happened to be on the oblivious side it took her quite a while to realize that she was being followed. Three days and Mike Newton giving her worried glances finally synched something and to Kaye's utter horror it began to dawn on her.

The story she had fallen into was about a naïve new girl falling in love with an obsessive overbearing glittering vampire who watched her every move-Bella was supposed to be the girl that the story revolved around but with Kaye's sudden appearance in the world and melding Bella's passive attitude into something stronger...

"I think I'm going to vomit blood."

"I wouldn't do that, it isn't healthy."

"Shut up or I'll kill you!"

Kaye had taken Bella's place in Edward's twisted completely illogical heart.

"Why do you tease me so?"

"Were you slow as a child?"

Currently Kaye was huddled in a thick winter coat on the front porch of Charlie's house. It had been exactly three days since Bella had gone to visit her mother, two days since the incident with Edward the Sparkling Idiot seeing her breasts while being the creepy stalker that he is and-let us not forget, a day in a half since Mike Newton pointed out that Edward being everywhere they were skulking behind corners and hiding in the shadows was not the Cullen norm.

She took a long sip of her hot cocoa and stared passed the Bronze Wonder at the shiny Volvo trying with all her might to blow it up with her mind. 'If I learn awesome violent Jedi mid tricks then I could use them on Edward and end this stupid story!'

"Jedi mind tricks, Katarina?" He chuckled. "You have such an amusing mind."

"Why don't you go home?" She imagined the sight of his head combusting into flame and suppressed a smile. "What is it about me that is so fascinating?"

He shrugged in an oddly human gesture almost reminding her of Byron when he was a kid. She rid herself of the thought, thinking about Byron was going to depress her and then it would mean Cullen trying his hardest to make her happy.

'Good God, Edward Stalker trying to make with the nice...why do I suddenly have the urge to drown myself in this cocoa?'

She didn't need this type of aggravation; she decided she would do anything for some peace and quiet. Anything to get this creature of the "supposed" night (though those rules didn't apply to him at all) away from her.

"Ok, Edward...if I do one thing just one thing for you do you think you can go away for the rest of the day?"

"A bribe?"

"Yes." She said. "Of course. Like I'd willingly subject my self into anything that would make you happy for my own benefit, idiot."

He didn't seem to take her open hostility into account, he seemed almost pleased. Sitting himself on his knees in front of her, he leaned upward so that he was very close to her face. Her impassive brown eyes glared into his and he smiled. "I just want to try one thing."

"Ok. Try it. Then be gone with you for the rest of the day."

-

Mrs. Biggs had been enjoying a hot cup of tea that she had every day at 12 in the afternoon for the past eighteen years, always at the front bay windows and always listening to her records. She had a wonderful view of the other houses, particularly Officer Swans residence. Mrs. Biggs would often take careful note at what she saw to report/gossip with the girls during bridge later in the evening always precisely at six in the afternoon.

"Good Lord!" Her tea cup fell into her lap, her free hand landed with a sickening slap to the table with her record making the old contraption fall to the ground sufficiently ending the music.

Torn between laughter and shock she decided numbly to just watch the Cullen boy collect himself from the ground. The new resident of the Swan household, a distant relative to Officer Swan, had apparently seen fit to kick the Cullen boy in the face after he had kissed her.

In the distance if one listened closely they would hear Emmett Cullen's laughter (apparently he and Jasper Hale/Whitlock/Cullen) had decided to drag their little brother home only to see the death defying kick to Edward's marble jaw and his flight off the porch steps.

Quite impressive for a human, Jasper would probably have said if he weren't also stuck in a fit of unparalleled laughter.

-

'So you're all set then? My dad helped lug everything inside that you would need?' Belle's worried mother hen impression had improved, Kaye thought, as she unpacked her kitchen. 'I can't believe he agreed to helping you get your own place.'

"Well," Kaye began stacking her plates in the small red cupboard. "Seeing as I got a job and the fact that this place is just so damn cheap Charlie and I figured I'd be able to pay it well off myself. Mike was nice enough to help me land a job right, and then his mother just loves me."

'So you landed a nice little job, a studio apartment in the poor side of town and what? Just to stay away from me? I'm crying as we speak you know.'

"Wow, Belle, the sarcasm has me rolling in laughter." Kaye shook her head and laughed as she set the cups into the other cubby above the sink. "You do realize that you're more then welcome to come by whenever you want right?"

'Yeah sure, anyway, I've got to ask you something.'

"Shoot."

'Are you and Edward Cullen a couple?'

"...did you somehow ingest stupid on your journey to Florida? Are you high? Its crack isn't it?"

'What? No!'

"Then there is no excuse for asking such a question! I'll answer anyway though, he and I aren't an item and we are not messing around! The freak has been following me and sneaking into our room. Why do you think I decided to move out? It's for your benefit!"

She almost shrieked when an impossibly cold finger tapped her shoulder. Edward 'I'm going to rape you in your sleep because I'm a filthy stalker and can't help myself' Cullen was seated on the counter of the kitchen area of the studio apartment.

'Kaye?'

"Uh ha ha ha," Nervous laughter. "Belle-Buggy I'ma have to call you back. I've uh found a bug that needs to be obliterated from this planet." Deadpanned, monotone and everything that her expression shouted should have told Edward to go away. Apparently stalker men in this story couldn't take the "REJECTED" hint.

'Ok then.'

After the phone conversation ended there was a lengthy pause in which Kaye began to think about her options. This world was not only too easy to live in but incredibly annoying. How was it that girls pawned over pretty vampire boys like Edward?

This is the kind of guy you get a restraining order against!!!

"You think so?"

"Don't read my mind you little punk. Just tell me what the hell it is you want from me?" She crossed her arms over her chest annoyed but slightly pleased. Apparently the little idiot had decided to unpack her things-wonderful, less that she would have to do. "Shoot."

"I want to live with you."

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you insane?"

"I don't see what the big deal is. You've got more space than you possibly need."

"What's that to you? Besides it's a studio. There's barely any space!"

"I'll cook and clean and do the laundry. You won't even notice I'm here. I'll clean your ears and give you shoulder rubs! And when the lights go out, we'll play Master and Servant!" (Whatever that meant, Emmett had said that saying this would cinch it...Edward wasn't so sure)

"Forget it! Have you completely lost your mind?"

"But... but... but... I don't want anyone else to be with you! I've already made up my mind! I won't share you! You know this is our time, so just shut up and let me unleash this zeal I feel!"

"..."

When Kaye's foot reacquainted itself with Edward's face he made a mental note to kill Emmett for giving him any sort of advice. Of course, it had been unadvisable to follow even Rosalie had warned him and Alice had to physically leave the house in order to stop laughing. Jasper hadn't gone with her instead he had opted to ignore the situation while Esme gushed on future new daughter. Carlisle had no comment.

Emmett said to come off strong, sexy and adorable.

Edward Cullen failed epically at all three.

-

Kaye smoked Marlboro.

Kaye had an affinity for coffee and loved to read.

Her style in clothing was normal, t-shit, a pair of jeans and sneakers, she was the kind of girl that screamed "I'm in your face" with her personality but her sense of fashion shouted "I may or may not be pretty" and that was something he was eager to change.

Drinking too much coffee was bad for your health and stained your teeth.

Smoking was unhealthy and unattractive.

Edward decided that Kaye needed a definite change to her lifestyle. So what did our Sparkling Stalker do when Kaye left her (their) apartment?

"Kaye...what's up? You look beat."

Her head made a wonderful thump against the table where Mike Newton stared quizzically. Kaye turned her head to the side and stared Mike with tired and impossibly big brown eyes.

"Coffee...there's no coffee anywhere!" She whispered. "I...I cannot go on...so tired...so weak..."

"So you're one of many effected by it huh? Did you hear that apparently all the coffee in the town was stolen? I bet it'll take a while to get any caffeine back in Forks."

Kaye made an ineligible whine.

"There, there..." Mike pat her head with a loud sigh. It was going to be a long day.

-

"...you don't carry cigarettes?"

"Well," The man behind the glass shrugged a bit nervously. He'd had to do this all day, explaining to all sorts of angry jittery people. "No I mean, I guess the kids who stole all the coffee in town did in the stores. All we've got is chewing tobacco."

A nice spidery crack in the glass made it harder to see the outside world but Jim, the gas station worker, wasn't bothered in the least. "That was one pissed off teenager."

-

"Kaye what are you wearing?"

Officer Charlie Swan had been floored by what stood before him. His eyes, he felt, were in need of a check-he decided to make an appointment in the near future. This was like something out of the twilight zone.

"You don't like it?"

"No I do...just..."

Kaye Winchester was in his living room dressed up...like a girl! Now you must be thinking, 'Silly Charlie, Kaye is a girl!'

You would, however, be wrong in that assumption. Kaye, like Bella, were not merely girls. Girls like fluffy pretty girly things. Kaye was a "normal" girl. The kind that didn't primp or care about their wardrobe.

To see her dolled up...

"I'm kind of digging it. Edward told me to, so I did. That's all. I feel pretty." Kaye giggled causing the hair on the back of Charlie's neck to stand. When Kaye giggled it was never a good thing. "I wasn't even that upset to find that he had donated all of my clothes to good will and replaced them with brand name girly clothes. I mean, it's not like I was particularly attached to those clothes I worked hard to buy or anything."

It suddenly dawned on Charlie that Edward Cullen may no longer be amongst the living in the world. He felt compelled to assist the obvious idiotic youth that had done such a blunder but could not find it in him to move. All he could do was question.

"Where?"

"That would be the pathetically writhing sobbing ball of stupid on your porch."

"What did you do?"

"I kicked him in the balls with my new pointed tip heels."

"...the games on." Charlie turned back to the T.V. there was nothing he could do.

"I'll get you some beer."

Mrs. Biggs couldn't help but laugh.

Oh the sweet sweet gossip!

-

Karin: not as good as the first one...this was chocked full of Edward violence.

Also, never take caffeine and nicotine away from those addicted to them. Only pain can come from this.

When attempting to convert a 'Normal' girl (or tomboy which ever you prefer to call them) one must always be very carful.

Gravitation manga assisted so much in this. Why? Because LTO pointed out that while Edward's usually broody he comes off with Shuichi like tendencies that defy logic to be with the one he loves.

Kaye's sarcastic, mean and loves to smoke.

Apparently they are Girl Eiri and Broody Vampire Shuichi?

I don't see it either.

Review and I'll add on!