Happy New Year, everyone! When I wrote this, I was hungover from New Years Eve at a friend's party and haven't had any time to read it over, so I apologize for any mistakes.

I also sat down and figured out how the chapters are going to go: since every two chapters is a month advance, I'm just going to combined what both of the chapters should be (AKA bigger chapters for my readers (: ) and with that said, I have up to chapter 13 outlined.

Meredith Grey had been missing from Seattle for ten weeks, almost eleven. Not one word was heard from her since her departure. Alex so badly wanted to tell her that Derek was alive and well, but the woman refused to answer any phone calls or emails. Alex wasn't one to worry about someone much, but he was deeply worried about Meredith and her two kids. And he could tell that Derek was crawling out of his skin, what with not knowing absolutely anything about his family's whereabouts.

Although they had reached out to as many hospitals as possible in and around Boston, and used a private investigator—who came up with nothing—, Alex was determined to find Meredith and bring her back to Seattle. So determined that he dedicated his day off to call around other cities he could think of where Meredith would go.

That is how Alex ended up sitting at the kitchen table with a pad of paper and a pencil in front of him. He had written down hospitals in each city along with their phone numbers and once he called, and inevitably failed, he would cross one off and move onto the next. He knew how much of a long shot that it was; there was a very good chance that they would never see or even hear from Meredith ever again. If she made it this long without any contact, surely she could continue.

Cristina had been called early on in Meredith's disappearance to see if Meredith had made any contact with her. Or maybe, in the most minuscule idea that Meredith had joined Cristina in Switzerland.

With that thought, Alex decided to try her again, just to see if she heard anything. So, he put the task at hand on hold, picked up the phone that was next to the pad of paper and dialed Cristina's number.

It rang three times before there was an answer.

"Yang! It's Alex…"

On the other end of the phone, Cristina had a smirk on her face. "Evil Spawn…what can I do for you?"

"Have you heard anything from Mer lately? We still can find her. It's like she went of the freakin' grid. She's not in Boston, she's not near Boston, I've been calling other hospitals in bigger cities I could think of. She's nowhere."

Cristina's sigh was heard over the phone. Yeah, she hadn't been the best of a friend to Meredith since the previous year, but she had hoped that she would have received a call from Meredith asking her for advice. "No, I haven't. The last time I spoke to her was at Derek's fake funeral. Where have you tried again?" She asked, ready to give her opinion on where he should go next.

Cristina could hear Alex shuffling through paper before his answer came over the phone. "I tried all of Boston, Derek looked outside of Boston. Our private investigator found nothing, so I have been sitting here calling all over America trying to find her. There's New York, Maryland, Minnesota, Illinois, Pennsylvania. I've tried different cities in each of those states, especially the top notch well-known hospitals, and nothing. She's vanished. I had hope that she ran away and came to you, but apparently not," during his response, Alex had walked out to get the mail where he saw a little white envelope with handwriting he would know anywhere. "Look, I'll…uh call you back, later. I just got something in the mail and I'm pretty sure it's from Meredith," and without waiting for Cristina's response, Alex hung up the phone and raced into the house before ripping the envelope open.

He smiled when he knew it was her letter. But he frowned when he read that she wasn't going to tell him where she was. It was getting a bit ridiculous, her avoiding everyone. They just wanted to help. And she was out God knows where without any help from friends and family. Now he just had to figure out a way to bring this up to Derek.

Luckily for him, at that moment, Maggie walked into the house. Since Meredith's disappearance, Maggie had been spending at lot of her free time with Alex. She spotted the letter in Alex's hand and sat down next to him. Just by the look on his face, Maggie could tell that it was from her sister.

"I just got this in the mail. It's dated back to last month. Basically she said that she's fine; she and the kids are safe, oh and that she's not telling us where she is, she even got a new number for crying out loud! Who does that? Just up and leaves like that? That's not the new Meredith. New Meredith isn't a runner, that's old intern Meredith her drank tequila like it was water. New Meredith deals with the problem head on. It was supposed to be the two of us left here in Seattle. Not just me. We're supposed to stay together."

Maggie placed her hand on Alex's hand before responding. "I'm sure she just needs a little more time. I mean, she does think that her husband died. That's a good enough reason to go MIA. She'll call soon enough. Mer just needs a little time to think. Did she say she was never coming back?"

"No, but she never said when she's coming back, either. It's just that, Meredith was the first person to understand me. Everyone thought of me as the jackass, and I was, but somehow, even with that knowledge, Mer looked through that and understood me completely. No one else here knows me as well as she does…she's my…person…" that saying sounded weird coming out of Alex's mouth because he had never felt comfortable saying it, or really understood what it meant. But since Meredith left, he knows. He knows how it feels to be without a person. "I have to figure out how to tell Derek. You think I'm bad? That man is going to be depressed after he reads this. She asked me to take lavender flowers to his grave if any of us went to it. Why lavender? Why such a random flower?"

"Meredith is a unique person, Alex. You know that; she does things her own way. Maybe lavenders symbolize something for them? Either way you don't have to do it, but telling Derek…want me to tell him?"

"Thanks, but I think I should do it myself. Will you tell Amelia when you see her?"

"Sure.

Alex had arrived at the house in the woods with a heavy sigh. He really didn't want to do this. What he was about to tell Derek Shepherd would hurt the man more than he ever thought possible. Like normal, Alex walked into the house after his quick like two-knock move.

"I have to tell you something," Alex said once he saw Derek sitting in the living room.

"Me too…I don't think she's on the east coast. We've been looking in the wrong place. We need to stay on the west coast, or even central."

"Okay, that's great, but I've heard from her. And you're not going to be too happy about what she said."

Derek sat up straight as he watched Alex walk over to the other section of the couch that was in the living room. This was the most nerve wracking moment Derek has had in his life since Bailey was born.

"She sent me a letter. No return address. She said that she and the kids are safe; they're with an old friend…but she's got a new number and basically ditched the last one. She refuses to open her emails. Meredith said that she doesn't want anyone flying out to where she is. She uh…also told me to take lavender flowers to your grave if I ever went…and, most importantly, that she didn't leave forever."

"Lavender," Derek murmured as if that was all he heard from Alex's confession. "It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth T-shirt you look so good in, the one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of... flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were going to see me later, and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed."

"Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender…from my conditioner."

"Lavender. Huh."

"What's up with all the lavender? She said that if you were watching, that you would understand."

"Her hair, it always smelled like lavender. Back when she almost died that first time and I went to go see her, we were talking about the last time we kissed. How she couldn't remember, so I told her…one thing I said was her hair smelled like some kind of flower. And she told me it was her hair, from her conditioner. She never did change it, not that I know of, anyway."

"Huh…okay then. So leads? From this letter, she's with an old friend, and it's obviously a place far enough to warrant a plane ticket rather than drive. I called as many major hospitals I could, mainly on the east coast and nothing. You know of any of her old friends?"

"Just the one that you know about…Sadie. But Meredith hasn't talked to her since she pulled that stunt with the intern class."

"And we know she's not with Cristina, unless Cristina is hiding her, but I don't see Yang doing that. Especially with how rocky their friendship has been since last year."

"Back to square one then?" Derek asked as he was feeling slowly deflated, but swore to never give up trying. Meredith said it herself, she's not gone forever. She will be back. But how would she react to finding out that the whole time she had been gone her husband was in fact alive, and not dead in the ground like she had thought he was? Derek saw tequila in his future when Meredith finally returned home and finally found out the truth.

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In the eleven weeks she had been a widow, Meredith was slowly started a new routine. Now on week nine of living in Los Angeles, Meredith and the kids were getting well adjusted. Since it was spring, Meredith had to find a new school for Zola, which resulted in Zola making new friends, much to Meredith's relief. Bailey had taken a liking to Henry, which was understandable considering they were close in age, with Henry being just under a year older than Bailey. And Meredith, she had a smaller patient load that she did at Grey-Sloan, which was great for her with this new pregnancy since Addison told her that she wanted her to take it slow once she's further along into the pregnancy considering what happened the last time she was pregnant and working.

Almost every night Meredith found herself at Addison's, even if just for a little while to either pick up her little man or stay for dinner. Meredith would be lying if she said she wasn't genuinely surprised by how accepting Addison was. She had expected hostility when she arrived, but yet she was welcomed with support, a little sympathy, and kindness.

Of the six of them at the practice—besides Addison, Meredith grew close with Violet, due to their mutual loss of husband. Violet had helped Meredith through the anger she was feeling at the whole situation as well as advice on how to get along without Derek.

She never thought she would ever say it, but Meredith Grey was loving Los Angeles.

At just three months into her pregnancy, Addison wanted to do another check on the baby, so that is how Meredith found herself laying on the exam table as Addison set the ultrasound up.

"Morning sickness? Cramping? Bleeding? Anything you know isn't good for a pregnancy," Addison had finished up when she remembered that she was talking to another doctor.

"Just a little sickness, but it's slowly dying down. But seriously, Addison, if I had cramping or bleeding or anything else, I live right down the street from you, I'd be over your house in a flash full of panic and worry," Meredith joked. She was relieved that she felt at ease around the redhead as she thought she would feel nervous or uncomfortable around her, considering their past. Addison had helped Meredith decide if she should send a letter to someone in Seattle, and Meredith was glad that she did. "Do you think I did the right thing? Sending that letter to Alex. Or should I have sent it to someone else like Bailey? Or Richard?"

"I think you did the right thing. Alex won't sugar coat anything when he tells everyone about the letter, which you know he'll do because everyone is probably worried out of their minds about you. Alex knows you, you know Alex. He'll follow your instructions, even leaving flowers at Derek's grave."

"Yeah…he's a good guy like that. He really stepped up when Cristina left. That's how I knew he was my real best friend. I mean Cristina—she's a good best friend, but Alex is great because he let's me rant and talk without judging me, he actually tries to help me stay away from tequila sometimes, other times he gives me the damn bottle. He's a good guy…"

Addison looked at Meredith knowingly as she continued the ultrasound. "You miss them. And you miss Seattle. It's okay, Meredith, you can say it. You're allowed to miss them, and it. There's no rule against that."

Meredith sighed. "I do miss them. And even Seattle. But I'm loving it here. Less stress, less drama, no rumors going around about you and your marriage. It's great here. Even the kids love it."

The room was silent until Addison turned the doppler's sound on. When the thuds entered the room, Meredith smiled. "And that, Meredith Grey, is your baby's heartbeat. Now, you know what I'm going to say."

"Everything is okay. The baby is healthy; growing correctly and everything. Morning sickness should be over soon, and in the next few months you don't want me waddling around a hospital trying to perform surgery on patients," Meredith recited her own version of what Addison had been telling her since she began giving her exams. Addison smiled at Meredith as the two headed off in different directions, each going to their office.

The next day, Meredith had picked Zola up from school with Bailey holding her hand. Since it was a Friday, and Zola had a half day, Meredith decided to take her kids to the beach for the day. Ever since arriving in California and beginning work at the practice, Meredith had more time for her children than ever before and all three of them loved it. Never had Meredith thought she would have so much time for her children, and as she watched that play in the sand, she knew that she was nothing like Ellis; not in the smallest way, unlike how she thought she was going to be back when she and Derek first decided to start trying to have babies.

Now that she was doing it all on her own with two—almost three kids, Meredith took great relief in knowing that she was nothing like Ellis; that she was actually doing good at the mothering thing.

When she thought about her children, especially the one she was currently carrying, she realized that she had to tell Zola and Bailey—mainly Zola—about the new baby. Zola had been asking for a sister lately, so Meredith hoped her oldest took it in a positive way.

As it started getting later, Meredith grabbed Zola and Bailey and took them out to eat. She had decided to tell them during dinner about the new baby in hopes that they wouldn't throw a fit about it in public. But Meredith was ready for anything at that point.

In the middle of their dinner, Meredith grabbed the attention of both children. "Zola, Bailey…Mommy wanted to tell you something," Meredith started. It was so much easier the first time, a simple t-shirt and there, it was done. "In a couple of months, Mommy is going to have a baby."

Zola looked at Meredith confused. "But don't you need a daddy to have a baby, Mama?"

Okay, so I'm sorry that Meredith's part is so small, it'll be bigger next time, definitely a continuation of some sorts to the final line.