Edward and the Real Girl presents...
[Edward in the sort of kind of just a little bit maybe Wonderland]
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A little off of the main story, why? Because you all do not review so I had no idea as to whether or not skip the Sakura-Con chapter or continue. This is another OMAKE without the Hetalia since there are those of you who do not know Hetalia at all or enough to know what the jokes are about (just to clarify Hetalia is like, the Bee's Knees and you guys are so totally missing out...(woops I imitated Poland's valley girl talk...couldn't help it)
Oh! Well okay just to give you a fair amount of warning a heads up-this is really nothing like Alice in Wonderland-sort of- more like lightly based.
A note here would be nice uh, warning of cross-dressing/cosplay (for obvious reasons you'll see what I mean in a bit) and general cross species snark in the form of a pissed off cat.
Oh, and Seth turning the wolf pack (Minus Sam and Jacob) Tyler and Jasper (plus Edward) just a little but not all the way gay is probably something I should have earlier mentioned.
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Unless you have and idea what Shota is...then you're probably confused.
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Edward violence is just around the corner kiddies!
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It was around one of the many times, in recent months, that Edward found himself unconscious despite the fact that technically he wasn't supposed to have the ability to sleep. It was all due to the thanks of Kaye Winchester, the ballsy, temperamental, tomato and coffee loving short girl who had a frying pan fetish and an almost child like joy for dealing out pain.
In retrospect, Edward should have probably stopped stalking her but, you can't really change the mind of a guy who's found 'the one' after 87 (to be exact) years of being completely and utterly without a girlfriend. Yes, you perverts, he is the epitome of virgin you don't have to rub it in. Now during these moments of sweet oblivion in which Edward usually rested on the floor for all of a few minutes (5 to be exact) he would find himself in almost dream/nightmare like states.
Although this time, as he lay on floor to the cold tiled bathroom with his left cheek in shatters, he seemed to fall into the strangest of dreams he had ever thought possible and to his consternation it had all started with a little white rabbit in the form of someone entirely too familiar with the exception of fluffy white tale, white fluffed pawed feet and long white floppy ears.
"Seth?"
"Oh no I'm late! I'm late for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!" Seth shouted to no one in particular. The shimmering red of his silk vest glittered against the sunlight above while the shirt bellow seemed to be the shade of warm butter (so it's golden colored or just really light yellow). The buttons were in the shape of silver carrots clashing horrible with his red slacks and his thick gold pocket watch.
"Seth, what are you wearing?" Not that he was really complaining.
Edward followed behind Seth the rabbit. His face felt oddly warm in what Edward refused to acknowledge as a blush (because Edward couldn't blush and Seth was a boy who was not Kaye and did he mention Seth was a boy with all the requisite twig and berries in the southern region of his body?).
It seemed to stop Seth for just a moment he faced Edward with an angry pout. His hands on his hips in what was the most cliché girlish anger pose in history... (Edward actual felt himself lightly swoon "What is wrong with me?")
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Seth asked in his sexless voice-it wasn't too high or deep at all- it seemed that he'd forgotten the time in his panic not that Edward would mention it anyway what with the whole Sexuality Crisis the "vampire" (cough-pixie-cough) was having. "I think I look perfectly normal! I look damn good!"
"You have rabbit ears, you're feet are little paws and you have a fluffy cotton ball tail. I think I am completely allowed to be just a bit curious as to what you are wearing."
"That's rich, coming from a boy dressed up like a girl!" He said, his giant pawed foot kicked a pebble which went quite far up hitting the tree just behind Edward who stared down at the (his) blue dress, white stockings, black buckled shoes and the white frilly apron in what could only be assumed as horror. "Yeah, that's right princess, you're mind is one crapped up place."
"My mind, am I dreaming? Tell me that this is some sort of illusion from eating Kaye's food (again-his only opinion of that day-after he had regained his bearings a week later-was that Kaye was never ever allowed in his kitchen to which she begrudgingly agreed). Please tell me that I am in a nightmare world and that I haven't died and gone to hell."
"Sorry toots, but I'm just a little late. Its nice standing in this meadow with you and, by the way I have to say that blue is so your color. I've got to get going."
"Where?" Edward asked. "Where can you possibly have to go that is more important then explaining any of this?"
"Duh!" Seth turned fluffy tail and ran. "I obviously can't tell you, you have to be a nosy little girl and follow me down the rabbit hole, in which you get horribly lost, meet a pot smoking caterpillar, get molested by Tweedledee and Tweedledum, get accosted by giant singing flowers, get mind raped by a smiling Satan Cat and then meet the evil BAMF(Bad Ass Mother FU**ING) Queen of Hearts who totally makes you her man-bitch!"
"...so I disregard the book and go with the Disney film version?" Edward began to give chase only minutely aware that this meadow was something like the one back in the waking sane world.
Nothing seemed to make sense as he followed the white rabbit to a hole in the ground that seemed almost endless except the tiny little light at the bottom. There was a sign next to the hole, a giant finger pointing towards it with words written in horrible Emmet like script "You are now entering Wonderland-not to be confused with Neverland- population; Quite Awesome. Have a nice stay!"
"Obviously. No one reads books anymore it's all about instant visual gratification!" He jumped down the hole with a cheesy smile. "See you at the finish line Alice."
"It's Edward!"
"Whatever!" Seth's voice echoed the further it got.
Edward heard him hit the ground with a sickening thud and a shout. "OW! MY ASS!"
Edward cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted: "HA-HA!"
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Karin: I'd write more but I'm not sure I should. I want to start the main story again but I'm short ideas. Beating Edward into submission is all fun and games but I can't help but think that he story needs a little more substance and I'm not sure what kind to take. Some reviews would be very helpful.
No flames. I know this was short. That was the whole point.