Karin Marie Henderson was a woman of twenty years of age. Her hair was the color of burnt orange and reached midway to her back in long thick waves. Her pencil thin brows were furrowed as she walked with her arms crossed covering the maple leaf on her red hoodie which she always wore.
Her short legs were half covered by snug blue jeans and on her feet she wore a pair of black boots. Her mouth, a bit long for her angular face was in an angry pout and her deep brown eyes shimmered in annoyance. She stepped out of the trailer slamming the door with such force that the sign on it labeled "Authoress" nearly fell from its nail.
She trudged towards the large stage passing the mixture of diverse characters that were too busy speaking around the water cooler to notice her. Lestat De Lioncourt gave a curt nod to Sasuke Uchiha who was huddled underneath a table. Ron Weasley sat on a wooden bench sipping his morning cup of tea while Kazuo Kiriyama read the newspaper completely oblivious to all of the glares coming in his direction from the rest of the Battle Royal cast. Harry Potter seemed to be arguing with Taka Sukunami (formerly Tamahome) about car insurance while Nakago and Roiben read over their lines.
LovingTheOgre-Sera Ackley had brought out a cattle prod sending Sasuke, who was now a shivering mess, to jump into the arms of, of all people, Ivan Braginski who began to ask the "Join Russia, yes?" question.
Novelist-In-Training- Megan Jensen was playing with her baby nephew Michael who began cooing up at Jacob Black who'd been making funny faces, all the while Megan complained that no one ever read or reviewed her stories. No one except Sokka heard her, he gave an apologetic shrug.
Dante had discarded the red coat for an orange t-shirt. It had an arrow pointed directly towards his vital regions. The back of the shirt read "Airbend This".
As Karin made her way passed the characters and the other Authoresses', she trudged up to a large wooden stage. Stepping behind the podium she addressed the other's and scowled as Edward Cullen, who'd been having a verbal squabble with Berwarld (Sweden), looked up at her and grinned ruefully. He was fully aware what this was about sort of.
"Oi, you lot! Shut your bloody mouths!" Arthur shouted earning a nod from Karin who cleared her throat as the noise dwindled and all attention was on her.
"Aright, fellow Authoresses' and fictional heartthrobs I have an announcement to make!" A pair of cue cards appeared in her small hands like the glasses on her face as she began to read. "I, Karin Henderson-sometimes known as Kale, hereby announce the progress of Edward Cullen and the Real Girl."
Harry scowled darkly at Edward, reminded that his Harry Potter and the Real Girl was on Hiatus until further notice. He stared at Karin's one and only on going Original Character, Kaye Merope Winchester who's brown hair was being braided by an overly excited Ginny Weasley. She was smoking a Marlboro.
"Now, for those of you who want me to continue," She looked at the screen yeah that's right she's looking right at you, and scowled. "Since no one has anything to add, no requests to ask, or any reviews to the story...well," She giggled. "Joking! That doesn't have anything to do with the story that's more of a personal complaint. Anyway, what I really came to announce was-I will be making Quick Skit chapters involving Edward and other characters not just Kaye."
Edward's grin widened as Harry began to really scowl his hand itching to get to his wand.
"Bloody tosser."
"Stupid limey."
Harry poked out his tongue at him.
"Basically there will be a whole lotta bashing Edward's marble face. Make a request on how you would personally like Edward to meet the violent end of your hatred with possibly, though it isn't just centered on, a frying pan, microwave, a car, a house falling from the sky..."
By this point in the announcement the roles were reversed. Edward was near in tears while Harry had the largest shit eating grin anyone had ever had the misfortune of seeing. Leon Kennedy and Squall (Leon) Lionheart were watching the two with their hands on their respective weapons ready to puill them out and shot/stab if they needed to. This was not the first time Harry Potter proved unstable and incredibly insane. Leon called it wand happy and Squall was quick to grunt in agreement.
"But why?" Edward suddenly shouted as Harry began to cackle. Those around him, Goku Son and Vash the Stampede, edged away from the laughing wizard in mild fright as Vegeta and Ichogo stared in horror as the sparkling vampire held on to each of them for support.
"Well my dear Edwina, the only reason people read this story is because there is a significant amount of violence done on your immortal persons. I mean, your story is a parody of Harry Potter and the Real Girl which is a serious and possibly tragic story."
By now Harry had fallen onto the floor in a fit of guffaw with tears of joy streaming down his face. Yami Bakura shook his head as Yami Marik began to laugh as well. Yami Yugi or ahem Atem merely rolled his eyes in amusement (should be noted that the pharaoh hated the entire series only reading it out of morbid fascination. He'd joined the Soul Society one night as they had a Burning of the Twilight and had danced naked around the fire in celebration of the burning books).
Karin turned back to well, you...
"So give me a request with your personal description or the description of an character you'd like or even someone character from another series and how you would like to torture, pick on and destroy Edward. You won't be disappointed."
The screen pans out showing the characters and they circled around the now convulsing Edward. Kaye kicked him hard once in the head with her steel toed boot yelling "Grow a pair Wife!" before storming off.
Bella (Bell-Buggy) giggled at something Hidan whispered in her ear as Shigure Souma hugged her from behind. The Weasley twins laughed uproariously with Naruto who had "Sexy Jutsu'd" a now unconscious Kyon. Draco Malfoy was too busy talking to Cloud about his buster blade to notice Zack Fair until he jumped on the wizard teens back laughing.
Kaye smacked Harry on the head and smiled up at him. He stuck out his arm giving her his best smile (James Potter patented Sirius Black Approved). She took his arm and the two began to walk towards his trailer passing a sobbing abused Edward Cullen who was being comforted by, of all people, Black Haru Souma who was patting his head.
Karin smirked.
"Let it never be said that I let my readers down." She said as Jess and Alison sidled up beside her.
"Give us screen time!" they shouted in unison.
"I just did!"
Jess flushed the color of Karin's hoodie while Alison rolled her eyes.
"Oh...yeah..."
[A chapter that was a chapter and an authors note all in one]