Ivy woke up crying and gasping for air. She had to be drowning. It was too familiar a feeling.

"Ivy?"

As a familiar voice reached her ears, Ivy thrashed about. She didn't want to die. Then a pair of arms took something from around her neck.

"Hey. Ives. You're fine. You just got tangled up. Come on. Its me. You know who I am."

As Ivy's vision cleared, she realized where she was. There was no storm and she hadn't been drowning. It was only a dream. She was sitting up in bed. James was looking at her with a worried expression.

Ivy rubbed her eyes. Somehow, even after hours of sleep, she was still tired. It was like she hadn't even slept. "What even happened?"

James shrugged. "Amber sent me in to see if you were okay since its so late in the day and I found you screaming and crying with a blanket wrapped around your neck." He looked a bit uncomfortable. "It was like...like you thought you were dying or something."

"I kind of did," Ivy muttered under her breath. Out loud she said, "It was just a bad dream. Storm, shipwreck, and a whole bunch of things that weren't even there when it happened. Just a stupid dream."

"You know, Cedric makes a pretty good potion to help with nightmares. You should ask him about it."

Ivy nodded, though she had no intention of doing so. She had been offered it and had turned it down for a reason that she couldn't quite figure out. "I'll do that. What's for breakfast?"

"You mean what's for lunch. Its almost noon."

"Almost noon?!" Though she had been laying back down to sleep for another minute or two, she shot out of bed and thanked the gods that she had worn day clothes to bed. "I told Cedric I'd meet him for my lessons at ten!"

"And he told you that its fine if you sleep in."

"Still, I should be there! See you James!"

By the time Ivy finally got to Cedric's workshop, she was completely out of breath and felt close to collapsing.

"Stupid...pneumonia...not going away..."

The door opened and Cedric stepped out. His expression went from happy to extremely worried in five seconds flat. "Oh, dear. What happened? Come sit down."

"Sorry I'm so late," Ivy wheezed, ambling into the large room. "I was really tired last night and even with going to bed early I slept in and-"

"It's alright. How are you feeling?"

Ivy gave a couple weak coughs as she sat down. "Sick. And tired. I went to bed at seven last night but I feel like I didn't sleep at all."

"Have you run out of the potion recently? The one I gave you to help with illness? If you've taken it like I told you to, you should still have quite a bit left in the bottle."

"I...er..." Ivy covered her face in shame.

"Please say you didn't drink it all already!"

"No! I just..."

"Haven't been taking it?"

"...yeah. I'm just too...too...I feel like...I should just deal with it. Without any of that potion stuff. I just...I don't..." She looked up. "You know?"

Cedric looked uncomfortable. "I...don't. Not really."

Ivy curled into a ball. "I just...don't feel like I...deserve it. There's so much I could have done, but instead I just watched and stood there and I couldn't move or do anything even though I could have saved them but I didn't because I'm a coward and I don't deserve-"

"Take deep breaths. You'll work yourself into an anxiety attack if you don't. I'll get you some water."

"N-no!" Ivy choked out as a cup was pushed into her hands. "I don't-"

"Quiet down and drink. If you carry on like this, you'll get dehydrated. Now..." The sorcerer pulled over a chair and sat down. "...tell me exactly why you feel as though you deserve to be ill."

Ivy took a small sip of the water. She couldn't look Cedric in the eye. "I should have saved them. I could have. But I just stood there, too stupid and cowardly to do anything. I could have calmed the water or froze it or anything, but noooooooooo. I just stood there and watched and let Namaka carry me away on a piece of wood."

"Namaka?"

"The ocean goddess. She came to save us from the storm. Well, to save...me. They didn't...nobody could save my...my parents made her take me first and it was too late by the time she went back for them." Ivy looked up at her friend.

Cedric looked concerned. He put a hand on Ivy's shoulder and said, "If a goddess of the ocean couldn't save them, there's nothing you could have done. Don't blame yourself for what happened. You are not responsible."

"But I am. How could I just stand there and do nothing as they drowned? As I watched them get swept out to sea?" She buried her head in her hands.

"In those situations, a second can feel like an eternity. What you think was a whole minute was likely a second or two. Not only that, but panic can cause you to freeze up. Don't blame yourself for something you couldn't control. Grieve, but don't blame yourself. You likely wouldn't have enough control over your abilities to do anything, anyway. You're just a child. There's nothing you could have done."

Ivy nodded. "I just...I wish I could do something. And I feel..." She hesitated. "...I feel like I'm betraying them a bit."

Cedric nodded. "Why?"

"Because...because I love them. The king and queen. They treat me so nicely and want to help me and it hurts because it feels like a huge betrayal. I shouldn't love them, but I just can't help it. I want to be with everyone here forever."

"Well, from what you've told me during the past month or so, their last moments were spent doing everything they could to keep you safe. Any parent who would do that would want their child to be able to keep living life and be well cared for. It's not a betrayal for you to love the king and queen. If anything, its likely what they would have wanted for you. I'd bet that, if they were here, they would agree with me on that."

Ivy looked down at her feet. "I just...I feel guilty."

"And you have every right to feel that way. I don't blame you for it. Now, how about some lunch? Sofia's told me you've barely touched any food or drink recently, so I imagine you're quite hungry."

"Yeah," Ivy accidentally admitted. Then she quickly backtracked. "But I'm fine! Don't waste your food on me. I can wait until dinner."

Cedric looked unconvinced and went to make the food anyway. "I believe you'll find that you are in a much better state of mind when you've eaten something. Even Baileywick gets irritable when he's skipped a meal, and he's one of the most annoyingly calm people I know."

"I...alright." Ivy sighed. "I guess I should. I'm just stressed. I'm not even sure if the king and queen would accept me. There's things I'm not even going to try to explain that they might not like."

"As long as you haven't purposefully murdered anyone, I don't think they'll mind. Queen Miranda is quite calm about almost everything and King Roland, while he can be over enthusiastic in his assurances, tries his best to understand. The same goes for the royal children."

Ivy nodded slowly. Despite her uneasiness, she maybe felt a bit better about everything. Just a bit.