A Blurb

[When Edward is away Mike and Bella become snarky and interesting]

"I had a nightmare."

"Yeah, what about Kaye? What was the nightmare about?"

"I dreamt that I married my stalker, got pregnant with mutant demon monster and the only way to nourish it was to drink blood. And then I ended up having the baby claw its way out of me while breaking my ribs and spine. And then, Jacob Black fell in love with the baby that grew into the size of a toddler after one week and the worse part? I was transformed into the most narcissistic being the world has seen since the creation of the bishonen Hotohori from Fushigi Yugi...it was awful."

"..." Mike took a long languid sip of hot coffee. He set down the Styrofoam cup on the counter and gave Kaye a pointed look ignoring the dark circles under her eyes. "You know what, next time I ask you about your nightmares or dreams...don't." He shot Bella a look. "For the love of God woman, never let me ask her a stupid question like that again!" He got up and headed towards the back of the diner towards the bathroom.

Bella took his seat besides Kaye and leaned dangerously close with a leer.

"So I take it that you and Edward have selected a date to be married?"

"Bella, I have never before in my life struck a woman...but you're asking for it." She unsheathed her frying pan. "Keep talking, just keep talking and I'll throttle you like I throttled Edward on his birthday."

"You hit him on his birthday?" Bella asked. "That's kinda mean."

"Not from where I'm standing besides, its tradition, I had to give him his birthday hits, no one ever said it had to be with just my fists."

"Word." Mike, who had taken Bella's seat after returning to the bathroom, smirked. "I particularly enjoyed the whack a mole you and Leah preformed with his head."

"You guys are crazy." Bella said with a snigger.

"Says the girl who wanted to shoot the birthday boy from a canon which begs the question, why did you have it in the first place?"

Bella gave her most innocent look.

"Hey, when you find out that the guy stalking your best friend is an indestructible monster you start to wonder what kind of harm you can or cannot inflict on him. Really, he should have just said that shooting out of a canon was something that should never be done to a vampire."

Kaye and Mike gave Bella a look. She flushed.

"It's not like I did too much harm I mean, we found all the pieces anyway and he didn't complain!"

Mike nodded.

"This is true."

"You sure? I'm pretty sure he was trying to say, "will you please reconsider" before being shot out of a canon into tiny little pieces."

Mike shrugged.

"I thought he said "Weeboo". I took it as a sign that he was excited not terrified."

- In which Kaye, Bella and Mike get to hang out during one of the rare tiems Edward is not on their tail due to his obsessive love of following Kaye. If you're wondering why he isn't following them-he's recuperating from Bella's Canon- Review! Read! Don't FLAME!