Track 2
A Day with Mike
Where he comes to a startling conclusion...
~.~
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*Five years ago, if anyone would have told me that I would be best friends with Edward Cullen I would have laughed my ass off. Because five years ago I kinda disliked him. Don't get me wrong, he has been and will probably always be a really nice guy its just...there was always something weird about him and his family something untouchable and just a little scary.
And there was the fact that he made girls within a ten mile radius drool waterfalls and writhe in ecstacy upon sighting him. That was really annoying about him really grated on my nerves on any guys nerves and sometimes when he spoke it was like he was from a different time and don't start with the "oh you have no idea" comments because I didn't know then. I do now and to be perfectly honest...it is really unsettling.
Okay thats a damn lie. It was unsettling after about a week and then it became pretty damn awesome once I got to thinking about it (well the good parts about it.) To be perfectly honest, I kinda felt off kilter. I was just so incredibly...normal. Not that I mind it. I mean, being human's the thing I'm best at I like waking up and getting ready for the day without worrying about direct sun light hitting me and setting my skin a glitter like a disco ball or throwing a temper tantrum and turning into a humongous pissed off poodle-we will get to that one in a bit...
Jesus...is that how I really think nowadays? I guess I should start from the beginning and although I know I am not a cast favorite I will try my best at explaining things. It happened a few years (five years to be exact) right before winter vacation...
"Hey Katarina, sit with me at lunch okay?"
"It's Kaye, not Katarina just Kaye!"
"Okay, Just Kaye. Sit with me at lunch. The names Mike by the way, Mike Newton."
"...I don't care..."
"See you later."
I was struck dumb by her, this tiny girl with this pissed off pout and fluff brown hair. Attraction at 100 percent and I was so ready to beg her to go out with me that...well I asked her out I was rejected I think. Still not sure because we did go out on two dates. Kinda glad it didn't work out. Met Bella the same day, got over Kaye a few weeks and two awkward dates later and I have not looked back ever since.
Bella...just saying her name makes me all...erm I mean, yeah she's hot!
...Anyway...the day that I met these two special ladies everything changed. I mean literally changed because for some inexplicable reason, after the two awful dates, Kaye kept me around and because she was good friends with Bella I allowed myself to be pulled along. It was nice. A little weird because it went from hanging with the guys to chillin' with the girls but I got used to it and in the end I liked talking to them more then passing a ball around with the basketball team. It would have been nice and normal but winter break came up and Bella left to Florida to visit Renne leaving Kaye and I all on our own so our trio turned into a duo which turned into another trio that left much to be desired.
It might have been the initial meeting between the two, that had brought them together; Kaye the sister I never had and Eddie the strangest best friend a guy could wish for. Sometimes I wonder about it. How in the hell it worked out the way it did and if it hadn't then I wouldn't know Eddie how I do, that my life wouldn't be nearly as chaotic or amusing. That meeting though...it went a little like this:
"Excuse me, that is my seat." A pleasant voice says from my side, the kind of voice that oozes sex appeal. I automatically think of James Bond for some reason or maybe that one actor from the Goblet of Fire, Robert Paterson or some shit like that.
"Then sit in the seat next to this one." I remove my bag from the empty chair next to me without looking up. I'm thinking about pancakes now for some reason.
"But that's my seat." His voice sounds a little more aggressive and there is a collective wave of whispers and awe. This guy must be what one calls the OMGAWSH he's so fecking Hott!111 of any high school. Even in this weird Stepford Wives novel knock off there are still assholes who probably think they're better then everyone when obviously they aren't.
"Well tough cookies Sally, looks like you're just gonna have to sit right there in that empty seat." I look out the window.
"The seats are assigned. That is where I was put to sit. If you would be so kind as to move..." This guy's annoying and by the tone of his voice, which almost squeaks, it sounds like no one has ever said no to him. I'm glad. I'll be his first.
"Look, I'm new. I'm tired and I really don't feel like being here. I sure as hell do not want to have a conversation with some stranger about assigned seats I didn't even know about. Now, if you'd be ever so kind as to shut the hell up and sit your royal ass down, I can continue to ignore everything around me including you."
Whispers are becoming louder, someone shrieked I think. I'm not sure but looking at up I can swear that Mr. Banner is trying not to laugh.
"You're very rude."
"And you've annoyed me before being properly introduced." I finally turn to look at him: pale white skin, bronze colored eyes that are really unnatural and thick brown hair with reddish highlights. He had the perfect bone structure and he's crookedly smiling. I think I can hear the collective sighs from all of the girls right now...wait all the girls and three of the boys...He's gorgeous.
I hate him.
And fate smacked them both in the face, took a seat and had a nice laugh around gulps of pop and mouthful's of popcorn. I don't think anyone really would have pegged that as a meeting between future soul mates and to be honest I don't quite think so either. I figure its the chase Eddie liked first off and Kaye just hated him from the get.
Though...to be honest I'm rootin' for it even if it wont work in the long run. I mean, hello, human and vampire fall madly in love and live happily forever after. No. Just no. That sounds like a bad case of Buffy and Angel fanfiction (not that I've read or written any...um...)
After that, things got a little weird. At first I though Edward might have had a thing for Bella, what with all the scowling at her and the holding his nose like she stinks thing but no, somehow he fights it, gets over it and moves onto Kaye because...he miraculously falls head over fangs in love with her.
...yeah...I don't get it either.
So he did what any misguided youth in love for the first does...he stalked her. What? Don't tell me this is weird. Okay, he may have gone about it in a really creepy way alright I'll admit, following her around and watching her sleep wasn't normal but what I meant by normal stalking is going onto their myspace* and watching their comments, checking out pics and dreading the relationship status. Thats normal adolescent stalking.
What Eddie did went above and beyond although, to think about it, worked out for him in the long run. Not that she'll admit it but beating Eddie up with her frying pan for being creepy totally makes her day or rather thats the excuse she uses...I think.
Five years is a long time, a lot of wearing down a lot of growing up and out of the nest. College. It's college time and all I can do is...this. Think. I mean, this is the most hectic time of our lives, the most terrifying period because the most we ever had to worry about before this was grades, exams, dating, prom and graduation.
But this...on top of befriending a girl who fell though dimensions* (yeah I don't know either), giving romantic advise to a romantically inept vampire with boundary issues, moving in with The Girlfriend and dealing with her canine companion the Giant Poodle...I have to deal with moving to Seattle and starting school.
"Uh, you alright bro? Need some help with those boxes?"
Pulled away from his narrative Mike looked up and away from the boxes labeled Bedroom and Bathroom respectively. The owner of the slightly gruff voice seemed to be about his age with corn blue eyes, bright blond hair (with suspiciously brown barely there roots) square glasses and the strangest cowlick he had ever seen.
"Well kinda. No." Mike shook his head, checked his watch and sighed. "Sorry. Just moved in and I'm waiting for the roommates to show up and help me get all our crap upstairs. Apparently they've bailed."
The blonde nodded in understanding. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his bright orange board shorts. "Dude, totally get 'cha. Happened to me when I moved in. Mattie got lost and I ended up having to haul the sofa up six flights of stairs."
"Mattie?"
"My brother," The blond answered peering into the bed of Mike's new truck. He hauled a heavy box out and stared expectantly at Mike with a large grin. "Which floor?"
"You're helping?"
"Yeah man, it's cool." The blond balanced the box in one hand and extended the now free hand towards Mike, who shook it firmly. "The names Alfred."
"Mike Newton" Mike answered. "Sixth floor, room F7."
"F7? Seriously?" Alfred's grinned widened. "That's awesome! I live in F8. We'll be neighbors!" The sound of the American Anthem blared from Alfred's back pocket. His grin falters for a fraction before coming back full blast as soon as he see's who exactly is calling him. "Hey hold up. Got a call."
...something tells me that things are about to get a bit more interesting. I mean, a new normal friend isn't gonna make my life any stranger then it already is.
"Whats up Francis...s'all good, met the new neighbor helpin' him carry some stuff up to his place...I am not seducing him and you can't either...no nuh uh Iggy aint here so none of his burnt food...dude I wouldn't die I'd at least get a stomach ache cuz Heros don't die...I am totally a hero. Wait who's there? Put him on! ...Gilbo dude how's it hangin' you still on for Mortal Kombat tonight, right? Hell yeah it's awesome...yeah bro...see ya tonight."
"Hero?" Mike asked. "Like Superman?"
"Don't I wish!"
"Yeah well-" and thats when I realized that every person in my life for the rest of my life was going to be incredibly...weird.
The box in Mike's hand slipped and fell to the concrete. The cardboard tore spilling the contents and to Mike's horror Bella's favorite perfume bottle fell, thankfully unbroken, began to roll. As he struggled to grasp it before it fell into the gutter to be lost forever Alfred quickly reached forward and grabbed the bottle.
Not weird right? Wrong because the gutter was right beside Mike's truck, so close that if it fell Mike wouldn't be able to reach for it before it fell into the gutter without moving his truck because of the tire. How did Alfred manage to get the bottle?
He had lifted the truck.
"What the hell...?" Mike gaped.
"Uh...oops?" Was all Alfred said in reply.
Mike's palm met his forehead with a loud slap.
"Oh brother...not another one."
It was Alfred's turn to look confused.
~.~
The first * is to explain the 5 years Mike was talking about. Mike had known of Edward for two years prior to meeting Kaye and Bella-he and Edward were Freshmen when Edward moved to Forks. They meet Kaye and Bella in their eleventh grade year, become friends that year and senior year and the four of them graduate and move in together thereafter marking the time he's known Edward 5 years. He's known Kaye and Bella 3 years.
Second * is the Myspace thing. Twilight takes place 2008. Myspace was still pretty popular in 2008. Also a note on the stalking via interwebs? I've known people to do it. As odd as it sounds so I perceive this as something people did but just didn't talk about.
Third * is Kaye. This original character is originally from a story (that's on hiatus until further notice) called Harry Potter and the Real Girl. She falls into the HP word by magical dimensional Galleon. Thats also how she made it into Twilight in Edward Cullen and the Real Girl (which is a parody of Harry Potter and the Real Girl which is a lot more serious.)
Alfred? Mattie? Francis and Gilbo? To those Hetalia lovers who are reading. Yes. America, Canada, France and Prussia. I'm not planning on making Alfred or any Hetalia character a major hitter on this but who knows. Poor Mike is just a magnet for the weird.
And he's starting to notice.
Sorry about no Edward beating this time around. Just toying with other characters to get the hang of them better but don't worry the Eddie Beating will come back really soo. And if it makes you guys feel any better, while on their way to the new apartment to meet Mike, Bella got them lost. Edward insulted Bella's driving skills and Kaye beat him...with her copy of Goblet of Fire (oh sweet irony.)
Review please!