After a not too long drive the three arrived at the bunker. Dean was more asleep than awake by now and so Cas and Sam helped him into his room. They put him on his bed and Sam left the room. He didn't seem to notice that Cas didn't come with him.

Cas looked at Dean, who was sleeping by now. He looked much more relaxed and also much younger. Of course his forehead had the now typical wrinkle over his nose—Dean was worried about many people and many things.
Cas touched Dean's forehead. Dean had rolled over to his left side and put his right hand under the pillow.
"As peaceful as you look now, you shall sleep tonight," thought Cas, and took his hand away.

Cas found Sam in the library. The younger brother was looking at a book, but didn't seem to be reading. When he heard Cas' footsteps, he looked up.
"What's wrong with him? This is how he behaved the last time we lost you—" Sam stopped for a moment, then looked at the angel and said softly, "When he was completely lost."
"What do you mean, 'when he was completely lost'? I know he wasn't well at the time. He told me so himself."
"He wasn't well? He told you that? Cas, that's an understatement. Really, it's an understatement!"

"Huh?"

"After we—well, after you left, he totally changed. He locked himself in his room for days, I never saw him. He didn't answer when I knocked. At some point he came out of there, looking the same as always and said he was going for a drive to maybe find some distraction. He laughed in any case, but I didn't know if he really felt better. I rather thought he was fooling himself and everyone else. Then came this case, the one with the doctor and the abandoned house. Dean and I went there, did the usual routine of questioning and so on and ended up at this haunted house. He said that to find the doctor, we'd have to talk to the spirits. Then he said 'give me three minutes', stabbed himself with the syringe and he was gone."

"Dean did what?"

"Yes...and when I shot the adrenaline after three minutes and he didn't react, that's when I understood." Sam broke off, looked away for a second, but then continued. "Later, when we were outside, I asked him if everything was okay and he said 'no'. I think he knows that this was almost a suicide mission on his part, but he only said that he needed a win. So when your call came and Dean drove us to you, I think that was the very last time he hoped. If it had turned out that it wasn't you, we would have lost Dean. Believe me, Cas, I was really happy it was you, you're my best friend, but it was a different story for Dean."

After this explanation Cas stood up and left the library. He was not angry, he was just incredibly sad. That he meant so much to Dean, he had not known. He went into the kitchen, took a beer from the fridge and went back to the library. He had wanted to give Sam a moment to himself and he himself had also wanted to be alone for a moment.
"Thanks", Cas said quietly, put the beer down in front of Sam and left.

Cas just wanted to go to bed. As an angel he didn't really need it, but he wanted it. The feeling of lying down, closing his eyes and relaxing—the feeling was indescribable for him.
On the way to his room he passed Dean's. He hesitated for a moment, but then opened the door and entered. He closed the door again and since the rooms had no windows, it was now pitch black.

Cas went to Dean's dresser and opened the bottom drawer. Hidden in the back was a box with a lamp in it. Dean had told him years ago why he kept it hidden.
The bedroom lamp was for babies or toddlers. When it was turned on, it looked like airplanes and clouds were flying through the room. Apparently, Sam had had a similar lamp in his room as a baby and it helped him fall asleep every time.
Dean only took it out very rarely, and only when Sam was not there. He didn't want his brother to know about it.

Cas turned it on and immediately the room was bathed in a soft light. In itself he didn't need the light, but for Dean it would be better. Cas went over to Dean's bed and found that Dean was no longer covered. Cas smiled and put the blanket back over Dean. Just as he was about to take his hands off, Dean opened his eyes.
He looked back and forth around the room, obviously scared, but as he noticed the light and Cas, he came up and leaned on his elbows.

"Man, you scared the shit out of me!" Dean whispered.

He wasn't angry, Cas could tell, but he nevertheless felt bad. "I'm sorry."
"'s okay," Dean mumbled. Then he looked up, reached forward, lightly put his hand around Cas's neck and pulled their mouths together. For different reasons they both took in a surprised breath.

At first it was only lips on lips but when Cas let his hand come to rest in Dean's hair and he let his fingers run through it, Dean moved his lips and started to kiss Cas properly. Cas parted his lips and let his tongue trace over Dean's lip. Dean lightly began to shiver and opened his mouth to let Cas's tongue in. After a few moments, Dean pulled back. Wide-eyed and breathless, they locked eyes.

Dean made a move first. He put his free hand on Cas' shoulder and squeezed it lightly.
"Cas?" he asked quietly. "Could you maybe stay here tonight?"
"Yeah." Cas cleared his throat. "I can do that."
Dean shifted so Cas could lay down with him. With a wave of his hand, Cas turned out the light. They couldn't see each other anymore but that didn't matter. Dean came to rest with his head underneath Cas's chin and a hand on his chest. Cas, on the other hand, put both arms around Dean and pulled them both closer. He turned his head so he could kiss Dean on his forehead.

"Of course I can stay." Cas murmured against Dean's head and the tone Dean made actually sounded like a purr. Dean moved a little closer again before he entirely drifted off to sleep.