"So show me family / all the blood that I will bleed/ I don't know where I belong / I don't know where I went wrong / but I can write a song..." - the Lumineers, "Ho Hey"
Come morning, which was only a few short hours away, shouts declaring the arrival of owls woke Hermione from her peaceful slumber. Teddy fussed, and she maneuvered him around to her side of the bed and tucking him in quietly, smiling once he settled.
Taking no care with the state of her hair, which she was sure was dreadful, Hermione made her way downstairs and halted at the appearance of not just a few owls, but dozens. One for each Weasley member was present and accounted for in the kitchen, and hooting and hollering as they tried to find the appropriate head of ginger hair to drop off their letters.
Hermione wisely hung back, watching things ensue as Harry, Ron and Ginny appeared at her side.
"Right mess in there, huh?" Ron asked, although he made no move to assist.
"They're giving letters to married or engaged individuals as well," Harry said, offering Hermione his own letter. "Declaring that they're exempt from the whole thing."
Hermione read it over, nodding at Harry's summary and passing the paper back to him. Ginny then handed her another envelope, and Hermione's heart clenched at the significance of her name emblazoned across its front.
It wasn't that Hermione had never wanted to get married, exactly. She'd wanted her career in a good place before she jumped back into the dating pool - or, rather, cautiously toed her way in. Dating and relationships weren't things that she was particularly knowledgeable in, especially because it wasn't found in books. Sure, there were articles and snippets on how to help a failing relationship, but Hermione found that often things were more personal than could be solved by a stranger who didn't know all of the little things. Harry and Ginny had been an excellent source of feedback when her and Ron were dating, and the two spared a quick glance before announcing that it was better to just break things off before it got any worse.
And that had been the best course of action - Hermione and Ron were still friends, practically family, and she'd even set things back up with Lavender.
But Hermione wasn't ready, which was the thing, especially not if it were some stranger.
Or not - oh God, what if it was Malfoy?
She'd vomit if it were Malfoy, she decided.
"Alright, everyone, in the kitchen!" Molly called as soon as she had restored order, Bill chasing the owls out of the window. "Everyone got their letters?"
Hermione and the others stepped into the kitchen, where she allowed herself to be parked at the table beside Fred and George, who were staring at their envelopes like they weren't sure if they should be laughing or crying. Hermione rather felt the same.
"Where's Percy?" Ginny asked, holding his envelope.
"He still hasn't come back from last night, but the clock says he's safe," Molly said. She'd had a new Weasley family clock made after the war, adding Harry, Teddy, Victoire and Hermione alongside a few new locations. 'Safe' was an important one. "We'll have to just get started without him, I suppose."
"Charlie?" Ron prodded curiously.
"Well, he's in Romania, isn't he?" Bill insisted, frowning back at his brother, although it wasn't directed at him. He didn't particularly like Charlie going through the ordeal alone, without the meek explanation that had been given to everyone else in the early hours of the morning. "We'll hear from him soon, I suppose."
"George, you first," Molly said before halting his hands, gripping very urgently, "No matter what happens, you've got your family, and your health, and - "
"Molly, let him get on with it," Arthur insisted gently, holding her close and nodding George along.
Hermione and Fred peered at George's shaking hands, letting him pull the letter out and skim it over.
"The Ministry has decreed - blah blah blah - mandatory marriage between pureblood and - blah blah blah," he frowned, reading further. "Marriage and kids within two years - quite a window."
Hermione paled, shooting a panicked look at Ginny, who moved closer to press a hand on her shoulder.
"I shall be getting married to - Angelina," he sputtered, coming up from the page and grimacing at Fred.
Fred, who probably should be a little upset that his twin was getting married to his ex, instead busted out laughing at the look on George's face.
"That's just weird!" George insisted, hollering over Fred's giggles.
"Well, Angelina is a nice girl," Molly tried, although Bill and Ron were also laughing, and Harry was beginning to grin.
"It's weird, Mum," George stressed.
"This whole thing is weird," Fred shrugged, "At least Angelina thinks you're fit, seeing as -"
"Come off it," George groaned, remaining ear turning red. "I haven't seen her since you two broke up, that was ages ago. This'll be awkward as hell."
"Right, then, now that George's settled," Arthur said, calling order to the family and nodding at Fred.
Fred grimaced, ripping the envelope haphazardly and pulling the page out. George crowded at his shoulder, reading alongside him, and both seemed to freeze.
"This entire thing is just going against the Bro Code," George murmured as Fred rubbed a hand down his face, suddenly looking exhausted.
"Well, Hermione, don't bother opening yours," Fred said as he handed her his papers, and Hermione took them in a stunned silence. Ginny leaned over her shoulder to read, nearly every jaw dropping open.
Mr. Frederick Weasley, your intended is to be Ms. Hermione Granger. Please contact each other accordingly and make arrangements concerning your impending nuptials.
Hermione felt her mouth go dry, and Ginny was rubbing a soothing pattern into her shoulder.
Hermione could only think of how much she knew about Fred. He was loyal to his family and friends, loved to create and invent jokes and pranks, and he enjoyed Quidditch. Other than that, she knew very little about him.
Her thoughts must have been apparent, as she could only say "I didn't know your name was Frederick."
Fred gave a huff of a laughter, but before much else could be said, the backdoor opened with a bang.
In shuffled Percy, his hair wilder than Hermione's and bags beneath his eyes. He headed towards the cabinet where the mugs were kept, and began the process of starting coffee.
"Where on Earth have you been?" Ron crowed.
Percy held up a finger, begging him to be patient, watching his mug until it was full to the brim. He took a long, slow, loud slurp, and his shoulders seemed to relax. He reclined against the counter, taking in everyone watching him, and idly announced, "I'm engaged."
"What?"
"To who?"
"Were you even dating anyone?"
Percy held up a pleading hand, slurping down more of his coffee, and thumbed the handle to the mug. "I've been seeing someone for a few months - we didn't want to go public just yet, but with this preposterous law it was the only way we could've maintained our relationship."
Ginny, in a flurry of motion, ripped apart her brother's envelope and began reading, brows furrowing before arching in surprise.
"Dear Mr. Percy Weasley - as you are engaged before the announcement of of this mandate, you are hereby excused from - "
Ginny was cut off, as Percy had pulled it from her hands to read it himself, still idly sipping at his coffee.
"Hmm," he hummed, blinking slowly. "They still want kids from us, which could be a problem…"
"Percy, shut it," Hermione insisted, trying to save his arse from giving Molly a heart attack.
But, Percy seemed to choose that day to air everything out, gave her a quick grin and a "what can you do?" shrug before blurting out, "I'm gay."
For once, in the Burrow, everything was so silent you could hear a pin drop.
Up until Fred got the first word, which was very hushed, "I knew it."
"How could you have possibly known?" Percy asked, back to his snobbish tone, perching his glasses back on his face. "Only person in this room who knew was Hermione, who pieced it together startlingly quickly once we started working together."
"You've only ever dated Penelope Clearwater, and she came out ages ago," Fred said.
"So that means I'm gay?" Percy asked in confusion.
"You weren't upset at all when she dumped you, we just thought you were an emotionless arse," George explained.
"So you had an agreement," Fred continued, grinning at Percy's growing smile from behind his mug. "Stay together to keep suspicions off of each other, then break up when one of you was ready."
"It didn't start off as such, but that's certainly what it came down to," Percy said with a shrug. "She's with a nice Muggleborn girl - her name's Claire, I think."
"Claire's nice," Hermione contributed, picking lint off of her jeans, "Works in Flourish and Blotts."
"Percy, why ever didn't you tell us sooner?" Molly stressed, sitting down next to George with tears threatening to spill over, "Did you think - ?"
"No, Mum, of course not," Percy said with a far more fidgety shrug, looking down into the depths of his mug, "I didn't want it to be a big deal - my career and the work I'm doing is far more important to me than if I fancy boys or girls."
"Well, it's a big deal when you come out and announce an engagement all at once," Bill pointed out with a weary sigh. "So - who's the bloke?"
"No more surprises from me today, thank you," Percy clipped.
"Hermione knows, don't you?" Bill asked, looking at her archly as she clenched her jaw and stared ahead.
"You know, I think Teddy could use a park day," she said, leaping from her chair and brushing by everyone, taking the stairs two at a time to avoid them all. This was a family conversation, and Percy's conversation, and her involvement wasn't necessary at all.
Plus, she needed time to wrap her head around everything, and Teddy knew how to distract her so she wouldn't worry.
By the time he was awake and dressed, Hermione was carrying him down the stairs cautiously, listening for anything coming from the kitchen. With a smile at the silence, Hermione walked in to grab some snacks for the little boy to take along to the park.
"You know it's my week to have him, right?" Harry asked from the pantry, offering a pack of fruit snacks with a smile as she startled.
"I need the distraction," she insisted, taking them and an offered juice pouch, "Teddy's great at distractions."
"You'll need to talk to them all eventually," Harry said, stepping out from the pantry and shutting the door behind him, "Especially Fred."
"Where is everyone, anyway?" Hermione asked as she dodged the conversation, packing things away in Teddy's bag.
"Went to meet Charlie at the Ministry, he's taking a Portkey in, they're hoping to calm him down and explain things as soon as possible," Harry said, ruffling up the little boy's hair as he came to stand between them. The green strands turned bright pink, and Harry only grinned down at him. "I said I'd stay to talk to you."
"I don't need talking to, Harry," Hermione insisted, hoisting Teddy up and onto her hip. "I just - I love the Weasleys, don't get me wrong, but they can be a lot. They ask questions I can't answer, and my brain needs to figure things out first."
"I understand - I went from the Dursleys to the Weasleys, you can imagine how long it took me to adjust," Harry said with a laugh. "Just don't be too hard on yourself about these things." At her curious look, Harry continued with a shrug. "You'll be dealing with a lot in the coming year or two, and I know how you are when you feel you don't meet certain standards. Just - take care of yourself, alright?"
Hermione smiled, heading towards the backdoor, "I will Harry, I promise."
Harry shot her a worried smile, which was a look Harry had seemed to perfect, and she waved as the backdoor shut.
Eager to try to settle her mind, Hermione turned to the little boy, who'd gone uncharacteristically silent, and chuckled to see him fast asleep against her shoulder. Deciding that the park would be best for the afternoon, Hermione twisted and took them to her apartment, where she let Teddy snooze while she did chores around the place. The Muggle way, of course, because what good was cleaning as a distraction if you could just wave your wand and have things sort themselves out?
Which was why, near noon, she answered the door in a ratty t-shirt and shorts, expecting the pizza man and instead finding a tall, double-eared Weasley twin.
"I have never seen you in that shirt before, and I'm sure all your shirts come from Harry and Ron," Fred declared, squinting down at the logo across her chest. "What's rugby?"
"It's a Muggle sport, and my dad's old shirt - what are you doing here?" Hermione questioned, peering up at him suspiciously.
"Well, we need to talk about things, don't we?" Fred said as though he were there to discuss the weather and not things like mandated marriages.
"Now isn't a good time," Hermione blurted before grimacing at his pointed look, "Well, alright, I suppose now would be a great time, but I'm just not - not - "
Her hands fluttered, and Hermione glared at nothing in particular, because she couldn't find the words and that annoyed her.
"Easy now, I'm not here to lay out every single thing and demand a decision today," Fred insisted, wedging himself past her and into her living room, knowing that she was suddenly preoccupied with the pizza man and couldn't stop him. He turned once the door shut, and she was frowning at him, holding the box in her hands. He grinned, splaying his hands out placatingly, "I just think we should talk, is all. Considering you've been around my house nearly every year since you were twelve, there's very little I know about you."
Hermione hummed, mulling it over, but ultimately the smell of pizza won out and she deposited the box on the table, waving at Fred to help himself as she went to go and rouse up Teddy.
Teddy, at the bright age of 3, already had his favorites picked out and accounted for. Harry and Ginny, obviously, as well as Hermione, as he spent the most time around the three of them. Ron he was alright with, but only if he was near Harry or teaching him some new Quidditch term and demonstrating with his figures. Bill rather scared him, and he had a hard time understanding Fleur properly, and Victoire was still in the age where she wasn't very much fun to play with. Charlie, whom he saw on occasion, would spend time showing him the various dragons he took care of via those living figurines, so once he was remembered Teddy warmed right up. Percy, as hard as he tried, just didn't hold the little boy's interest.
Fred and George, however? Teddy adored.
"Uncle Fred!" Teddy hollered, fighting to be put down immediately while Hermione was focused on not dropping the squirmy toddler, and Fred immediately crouched down to catch him at full throttle.
"There's my favorite nephew!" Fred declared, immediately holding him up by his ankles and swinging him around, "I have not seen you in ages!"
"You saw me yesterday, Uncle Fred," Teddy giggled, Hermione watching as Teddy's hair went through a rainbow of colors before settling on a bright, vibrant purple.
"So I did! My memory's a bit shoddy, you'll have to keep a close eye on me soon enough, young Tedster," Fred insisted, hoisting him up and catching him in midair, giving a cheeky wink at Hermione's worried noise.
"I'll grow up and help you at the shop!" Teddy crowed, taking his hands and squishing Fred's face, something he did whenever he was excited. "We can make toys, and I can play with them and make them go bang!"
"There's pizza," Hermione redirected, successfully directing Teddy's attention to food and grinning when Fred had to deal with a squirming toddler as well.
Once Teddy was situated and pizza was passed around, Teddy seemed to notice something.
"Why are you here at Aunty's house, Fred?" Teddy asked, kicking his feet as he looked between the two innocently.
Hermione grimaced. Teddy was too perceptive.
"I wanted to talk to her," Fred said, ignoring Hermione's grimace and turning to face the toddler with a beaming grin. "If I give you a product to try, will you let me talk to your Aunt Hermione alone about boring, yucky grown up stuff?"
Teddy lit up at the promise of product testing, and Hermione made all sorts of irritated noises, but he crammed the crust of his pizza in his mouth and nodded furiously. Fred passed him something palm sized, fuzzy and teal, and rushed him along with the item. At Hermione's glare, Fred only grinned.
"It's a pom-pom off of Victoire's hat, I stuffed it in my pocket for safe-keeping and forgot to give it to Fleur or Bill," he explained, and Hermione relaxed - if only marginally.
"So, you wanted to talk?" Hermione prodded. She had no idea where to begin, or if she even wanted to begin, but Fred was already patting through his pockets and pulling out scraps of parchment. At her bewildered gaze, he pulled out nearly a dozen and spread them out across the table.
"Question one - what is your favorite color?" he asked, before looking up at her and giving a very accurate impression of Percy looking over his glasses imploringly.
Hermione sputtered, blinking at him in surprise. "That's what you came all this way for? My favorite color?"
"Among other things," he assured casually.
Hermione snorted, reclining back in her seat, and tore off another bite of pizza. "Periwinkle," she said around her mouthful.
Fred's eyes lit up, and he gave a smile that said he was keeping something to himself before he hurriedly scribbled something down, "Excellent - favorite season?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, taking another bite, "Autumn."
Fred hummed, nodding pensively before scribbling something down.
"Are they all like this?" she asked.
"I know very little about you," he insisted. "As you do about me - you didn't even know my first name was Frederick. You could stand to ask a few questions too, you know."
"It's the longest Weasley name," she said idly as she thought of what to ask. "Longer than Ginevra."
"Bill is William, and Charlie is actually Charles," he pointed out. "Percy is Percy, however, so he had no other option. Mum and Dad did a right number on him, I suppose, but he was a prat for a bit, so he probably deserved it."
"Percy and George are the only ones who don't go by nicknames," Hermione hummed.
"George is actually Georgios," Fred declared.
Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, and he gave a grin.
"What was your favorite subject at Hogwarts?" she asked, ripping apart the pizza crust for something to do with her hands.
"Really?" Fred snorted, shooting her a look before pointing to his head, "There's plenty of juicy, waiting-to-be-told secrets up here and you ask which class I liked best?"
"I think it had to have been Charms," she stated.
He gave her a long, perceptive look before sighing and looking heavenward. "Transfiguration, actually, though Charms is a close second."
"Mine's Transfiguration as well," Hermione hummed.
"D'you have any siblings?" Fred questioned, shrugging at Hermione's blink. "You've never mentioned any, but I thought it'd be safe to ask."
"No, I'm an only child," Hermione said, shaking her head and biting her lip. "Favorite ice cream at Fortescue's?"
"Mint chip and peanut butter," he said before grinning at Hermione's disgusted face. "It's actually orange and lemon, but I love the look on people's faces when I tell them that."
They went back and forth for a while, Fred soon abandoning the pretense of scribbling his notes and instead reclining against the table as they spoke.
Hermione had had a pet duck as a child that had lived on her grandparent's farm. George had broken his wrist at seven, and Fred had attempted to do the same so they could match. Hermione's favorite memory from Hogwarts was the snowball fights or the parties after Quidditch games, and Fred admitted that he would've liked to have been a Chaser at school, but Beater had suited both him and George better anyway.
"It's not that I mind being a part of a set, and all," he said, stacking remaining slices into a pyramid and frowning when they fell over. "It's just that it's a lot harder to get people to see you apart from that set."
Hermione snorted, returning from grabbing sodas from her fridge and sliding one across the table to Fred. "Don't I know it? Ever since first year, I'm always Harry and Ron's friend, or the girl, or part of our team, or something - just once, I'd appreciate it if someone could see me apart from the boys. My accomplishments are not theirs and vice versa."
Fred grimaced and scratched his ear, "Might be guilty of that."
"You'll get a pass, just the one, and then I'm going to start taking House points," Hermione tutted as she popped the top of her can.
Fred laughed, then looked puzzled before grinning, "Sounds fair enough. Besides, I'm certain you only ever saw me as a Weasley twin."
Hermione turned pensive, mulling it over before shaking her head. "Actually, no. While I may not have known much about you, you and George were always individuals to me." At his disbelieving look, Hermione waved her hand flippantly. "You know - George is the more quiet one, he studies people before speaking out. You were more prone to steering a conversation and getting people to see things your way."
Fred stared at her, and Hermione shrugged as she avoided his gaze.
This gaze avoidance was made easier by Teddy, grumpily entering the room and climbing up into Hermione's lap, presenting the forlorn pom-pom to her.
"Make it work," he insisted, and Hermione shot a look to Fred, but he still looked like he was studying her.
"I don't think it's meant to work, sweetheart," Hermione said, taking it from him and holding it carefully in the palm of her hands. "But I'm glad that you tried."
"Is that the prank, Uncle Fred?" Teddy crowed, turning to pout at the Weasley twin, who quickly donned a cheeky grin. "It isn't supposed to work?"
"You got me, Teddy, you're far too smart for my tricks," Fred declared, and Teddy immediately beamed at the praise. "Next time, I'll give you something that is meant to work."
Hermione shot him a glare, and wasn't disappointed to see him stand and gather his scraps of notes.
"Well, it was nice catching up, Granger," Fred said, clapping his hands as if he were ridding them of imaginary dust. "But I'm afraid I need to check on George and see how things went with Angelina."
Hermione grimaced - from what she'd heard, it hadn't necessarily been an amicable split between Fred and the former Gryffindor chaser, but she hadn't been close enough to receive any details. Even Ron had been given the bare minimum, and she could hardly blame the twins for their need for privacy. She hadn't exactly been shouting from the rooftops that her last relationship had failed or for what reason.
"None of that - water under the bridge," Fred shrugged easily, and for some reason she felt that he meant it. "Now - are you free on Tuesday? I do half days at the shop on Tuesdays."
"What?" Hermione blinked.
"I'm not about to dive headfirst into a marriage without knowing the essentials, and I'm not talking about your favorite color or season or Hogwarts subject," he insisted, "It'll make knowing the big things easier if I know more little things."
Hermione was trying to wrap her head around his logic when Teddy gasped, loudly, having only caught on to a snippet of the conversation.
"Mawwage?" he exclaimed, and Hermione was reminded briefly of one of her favorite movies as a child before Teddy's excitement reclaimed her attention. "Who's getting married?!"
Fred blanched, quickly realizing his mistake, and clutched Teddy out of Hermione's grasp to catapult him in the air. "Lots of people are, Tedster! Every day! We live in a world full of happy times now, why you wouldn't believe - "
"I do lunch at noon on Tuesdays, and get off work around 5 if I can help it," Hermione stated, standing and cleaning up a bit of the mess from lunch. "You're right - we do need to...make this as painless as possible," she said, looking up to see Fred staring at her, as if she were a ghost. "It's the mature thing to do," she argued, crossing her arms over her chest and meeting his stare head on.
"I've just never heard you say anyone was right, let alone you saying it to me, of all people," Fred said with a tiny smile, quickly passing Teddy back to her as the little boy tried to decipher more of their conversation. "Noon on Tuesday, I'll meet you at the Ministry."
"That works, thanks, Fred," Hermione said, nodding as Fred left with a wave and saw himself out.
"Who's getting married?" Teddy asked again, frowning when Hermione gave a deep sigh.
"Lots of people, and soon," Hermione repeated with a frown. She still needed to check on Percy, but perhaps first of all was to wrap her mind around the whole mess. It still hadn't entirely sunk in. She shook her head, donning an easy smile as she turned to her godson. "How do you feel about going to the park?"
All discussions of marriage were out of the window, and Teddy was squirming to be put down so he could gather his shoes and any toys he wanted to take while Hermione got ready.
If all else failed, she could just ignore things until Tuesday. Or forever, she hadn't really decided yet.