Just as they had fallen asleep, they woke up in the morning. It was impossible to say which of them was awake first, but at some point Dean leaned on Cas's chest.
"Cas?" he asked quietly.
"Mmm?" the angel said.
"Is this alright? I don't want to destroy anything between us." Cas laughed softly and pulled Dean back down to him.
"You cannot destroy anything if there is nothing to destroy. For a very long time I had wondered when it would happen, which of us would take the step. So from my side there's no backing out. There's just one more thing..."
"Okay, what's that?" Dean asked.
"From now on, no more secrets between us. Sam told me something yesterday, and I can understand your behavior at the roadhouse yesterday better now. But from now on, there will be no more going off on your own. We're in this together, and we're gonna figure it out together."
"Um, okay?!" Dean replied in a slightly husky voice. Cas stroked Dean's back. "What did Sam tell you?"
"He told me about your visit to the world of the dead. Before—well, before my call came. Back then."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Cas moved his hands so that he could press Dean on his back. They switched places and Cas used it to kiss from Dean's chin to his ear.
"And Dean, in the future, if you are not honest about your feelings, then I will be seriously offended." Cas gently bit the area under Dean's earlobe and Dean shivered. "Your behavior then and Sam's statements yesterday showed me how much I mean to you. Yes, this may sound selfish now, but I can assure you that it is mutual. I couldn't look at Sam yesterday, the whole thing was so upsetting."
Cas slid higher so he could kiss Dean on the forehead. "I don't want to lose you, you hear me?! It's okay if you feel bad, you're scared, you're sad. Damn it, you're only human and it's not your job to always be the strong one. You have a heart and he who has a heart, has feelings. Let them get through!"

Cas sensed that Dean was shaking. He looked at him and saw that he was crying. Gently, he stroked with his thumb under Dean's eye.
"Hey, ssshh," Cas muttered against Dean's cheek, but did not intervene otherwise. At some point, Dean had calmed down somewhat and was laughing again. Cas looked at him confused. It wasn't a real laugh, it was one that was supposed to hide something.
"Man, who told you that crap, huh?"
"Dean, it's not crap and you know it. So please don't pretend." They kept quiet for a little while.

"Cas, what could I do?" Dean asked, this time a little louder than before. "You were dead, how was I supposed to handle that, huh? I was taught from an early age to take care of family. Later, it was said that hunters were better off alone. But when I met you all those years ago, the scaffolding started to shake." Dean swallowed. "You're the hand that helps me up when I'm on the ground. You give me warmth when I'm cold inside and out. You always know what to say to make me feel better. You are the rock I built my life around after you brought me back to earth. So Cas, tell me, what should I have done? 'Cause I didn't know!"

Cas looked down at Dean, slightly shocked.
"Dean, I didn't know..."
"Geez, I love you, okay? In my own crazy, confused way, I love you. And not just since yesterday. I've just been afraid to say it. I can't take it back now, and besides, it's so easy to ruin."
"Dean, I would never knowingly hurt you. You know that, right?"

Cas put his hand on Dean's cheek and Dean looked at him with sad eyes.
"Yes," Dean said softly.
"I mean it!"
"Yes, I know. I just can't let this little bit of hope get crushed again."
"Hope?" asked Cas. "Hope for that for once in your life you find someone who loves you and accepts you for who you are? That you can finally feel safe and at home? If that's what you're hoping for, then I can assure you that you can get it from me!"

Dean was quiet and watched Cas. For a few seconds, nothing was heard at all, then Dean pulled Cas to him, put his hands behind his neck and brought their mouths together. Cas inhaled sharply and pressed himself even closer to Dean.

First their kisses were rushed, teeth clacking and tongue scraping, their hands wild and restless. But when Dean breathed in, shuddering, they slowed down.
Dean decided to switch places. Now Cas was below and Dean was above him. Their mouths came together again and this time it was Cas who let Dean's tongue in while he let his hand go under Dean's t-shirt and stroked his spine. He could feel the little hairs stand up and Dean sighed softly.

Cas started to take off Dean's T-shirt. Dean broke away from him and also removed Cas's shirt. When Dean lay down on Cas and their mouths found each other again, they both moaned softly. If the contact without clothes was new and surprising, it wasn't unpleasant at all.

Dean separated himself from Cas's mouth and followed with his mouth the way to Cas's ear.
"Is this okay?" he asked, a little out of breath. Cas took advantage of the fact that Dean was between his legs and lifted his hip a little bit. "What do you think?" he asked seductively. Dean couldn't make out a sound and looked at Cas, in his eyes the fire of passion.

Dean crashed their mouths together again and kissed Cas with a rush that he'd never felt before. He grinded down and Cas met him halfway, totally on board with Dean's idea. They only stopped when the need of air became a problem.

"Get out of these damn shorts," Cas whispered against Dean's lips before he captured them again. Without breaking the kiss, they both tried to lose their shorts. Cas used Dean's unsteadiness above hime to switch places. First he completely pulled off his trousers, kneeling on the bed only in his boxers. Then he pulled down Dean's shorts and boxers.

His hand wandered from Dean's leg, over his hips and up to his face, his eyes following this movement. Dean was concentrating so hard that he hadn't realized that Cas' other hand was only a few inches away from his intimate area. Cas knew exactly what he did when he closed his hand around Dean's warm and already hard member. Dean opened his mouth to breathe, then he growled and attacked Cas's mouth again.

Dean shifted and his hip brushed against Cas' erection. Now it was Cas' turn to let out a sigh. The angel never stopped his hand on Dean. He kissed Dean's chest, his throat, his jaw and finally stopped at Dean's ear.
"Dean, you have no idea…" Cas growled. Dean shuddered and tried to move, but Cas tightened the grip on his dick. "Don't move!"

Dean made a disappointed sound but Cas winked at him. Then he slid down and paused over Dean's abdomen.
When Cas closed his mouth around his head, Dean sighed and closed his eyes. It felt so damn great. He put his hands in Cas's hair and urged him to keep moving. The hands seemed to flip a switch in Cas and he began to suck in earnest, taking him in as deep as he could. The pleasure now floating through Dean let moans escape and his head thumped back on the bed.

After a few moments he was already so close that he tried to tell Cas to stop, by pulling lightly at Cas hair. But Cas only sucked harder and Dean couldn't stop it. He came in Cas' mouth and when Cas swallowed he gasped.
A new wave of lust hit him and he pulled Cas up by his shoulders. They kissed, no, to be honest they're making out in a sloppy way. Dean had never tasted himself before, so when he did now plus the fact that it was Cas who he could taste it on, it drove him crazy. Already half hard again he spun them around. Cas let out a surprised yelp.

"What- are you doing?"
"Ssht... Just watch and enjoy!" He leaned over Cas, opened the drawer of his bedside table and took out the lube. He moved back, sat down on Cas' thigh but was suddenly very unsure. This wouldn't be his first time for what he had in mind, but since it was Cas it would be different. Cas was so much more than a nameless hook-up in a bar. This meant something, and Dean wasn't prepared for his feelings.

"Dean?" Cas asked quietly. "Dean, are you okay?" He looked concerned but Dean just closed his eyes and laid down. He clinged to Cas and the next thing Cas could hear was a sob. Oh no, Dean was crying.
"Hey, no, please…" Cas sounded a little scared but pulled Dean into a sitting position so he could return the hug. Cas rubbed over Dean's back and rocked him slightly.

After a while Dean calmed down.
"Dean?"
"Yes."
"You don't need to be scared. I'm back, I'm here with you and I won't leave. Not anymore!" They looked at each other and Dean swallowed. Then he nuzzled his head into the crook of Cas' neck.
"I- lf- mu."

Cas tipped his head back to look at Dean. "Sorry, what?"
"I…love... you, Cas," mumbled Dean. Then he looked at Cas. "Can you promise me something?"
"Yes, I'll stay with you!" Cas looked serious but after a moment he smiled. "Can I kiss you now?"

Dean was glad they'd had the same idea because he pulled him in for another kiss which rapidly deepened, but not with desperation like before.
Cas' cock, half-hard after the interruption, was resting under Dean's ass. Dean pressed them closer together. Held by Cas, he opened the lube, put some on his hand, closed the bottle and pulled the hand under himself. When he found Cas' cock, he started to stroke it and felt how it was growing harder again. He stopped there.

He used his lubed hand to open himself up, shocked by the wonderful feeling he'd nearly forgotten, while he kissed Cas hard. They both stopped breathing when Dean grabbed Cas', guided him to his hole and began to sink down. They locked eyes and let out a simultaneous groan when Dean was seated. This time it was Cas who crashed their mouths together. Cas' breath hitched and Dean moaned into his mouth.

"Cas, fuck. That's—" He grinded his hips down a little bit more. Dean shivered as he began to ride Cas. Cas groaned, took Dean's ass in hand, spread his cheeks and met his movements. Dean whimpered when he could feel Cas sliding in and out. He grabbed his own cock and copied Cas's movements with it and his hand.

When Cas found his tiny spot he nearly blacked out. When Cas brushed at it with every following thrust, he let go of his cock, leaned on Cas shoulder, his chin resting on Cas's head. He let out a few moans.
Soon he was panting, chasing a second orgasm, created by Cas. Cas must have felt similar because his movements got faster. Dean pulled Cas' head up and kissed him feverishly.

"Come on, Cas- yeah- Like—"
"Dean!" Cas's voice was a low rumble and Dean could feel him come inside of him. Cas groaned and bit Dean's shoulder lightly.
"Fuuck!" Dean let out with a breath, then he came too. He rode out the waves of their orgasms.
When they calmed down a bit he then slowly let Cas slip out. They were both sweating and still breathing heavily but they were smiling.

"Well", Dean began, "you know what I haven't told you earlier?" Short pause. "Good morning, Cas!"
"Good morning, Dean," mumbled Cas, his head resting on Dean's shoulder.
They started laughing.