Are you all packed and ready for the next school year? I will see you tomorrow on platform 9 3/4!
Chapter seven: Moony
Alicia had decided in the end that she wasn't going to rush up to Remus and confront him with his lycanthropy. She had been awake all night after her discovery, thinking how she would bring this to him. Hermione only informed her, but the Gryffindor had no intentions to yell Remus' secret from the rooftops. For now at least.
One of the discoveries she made that night as she stared up at the ceiling of her four-poster bed, was that his illness didn't bother her that much. In a way it made sense. It fitted him. Not that she wished this on him, but she could see the wolf be a part of this man. Maybe, with time she could learn more about his condition and find possible ways to make the transformation easier on him. She found herself more interested than scared about the whole situation.
The following morning however she had a terrible headache from all the drinking. She dragged her feet out of bed and sat down grumpily at the long table in the Great Hall for breakfast. She wore comfortable, unflattening clothes and her hair looked like a bird's nest.
'Good morning Miss Gryffindor,' Elena said loudly. Alicia clutched her head. 'Urgh. You are making my headache worse. Please lower the volume.'
Elena and Sophia giggled but Michelle rolled her eyes. 'You didn't get any sleep tonight did you? I heard you shifting around all night.'
Alicia was pleased to see a small pill on her plate, probably provided by a house elf. These guys knew when you needed a painkiller! She swallowed the pill with some water. 'Yeah well, that is the effect firewhisky has on a person.'
The girls seemed shocked. 'How much did you drink? What did you do?'
She was about to tell them that she had behaved perfectly well, when she felt the pressure of hands on her shoulders. Someone was leaning on her from behind. Her slow mind processed the words "Good morning beautiful. Slept well did you?" before someone planted a kiss to the crown of her head. For a split second she was thinking about Remus, but quickly realised that wasn't a realistic scenario.
She turned around to face a familiar ginger. She sighed. 'Good morning Fred. Slept wonderfully, you?'
He just grinned. 'Like a baby. George and I developed an anti-hangover potion last year. You take it right before you go to bed and wake up like you had a full night of sleep.'
Alicia groaned. 'Does it still work if you take it the next morning?'
He shook his head and said a quick greeting to the other three girls, who were following the action intently. He winked at Alicia and headed down to meet with his friends.
'Well that was interesting,' Michelle said first. She wiggled her eyebrows. 'Had some fun with the twins last night?'
A blush crept on her cheeks. 'Not like what you think. But they were with me for the most part, yeah. So were a couple of others, including Hermione. We played some games and chatted.'
Sophia's face fell. 'So you didn't kiss anyone?'
Alicia was at a loss of words for a moment. 'Suddenly you want me to kiss people?'
'Duh! I need something to talk about! Something juicy! I need some tea before I spill the tea, Nessie!' Sophia exclaimed. The other girls just laughed at her. After some more questions they seemed satisfied to know everything that had happened last night. Elena and Sophia left earlier to study in the library, which left Michelle and her.
As Michelle sipped her tea and read the Daily Prophet Alicia glanced over towards the head table. Remus was in his usual spot, talking to Professor Flitwick. After a moment he looked up from his conversation and stared directly at her. She smiled awkwardly and got a smile back. Then he turned back to listen. Her heart did a little flip and before she knew it she had sighed.
Michelle looked at her friend over the top of the newspaper. Alicia didn't notice her look, as she continued to look at the man she had a crush on.
'You know, you are not as subtle as you think,' Michelle said. She sounded serious and looked Alicia dead in the eye. The blonde girl tried to look less suspicious, but she felt like a kid who got caught with a hand in the cookie jar. 'I don't know what-,' she tried.
'Of course you do. I know the others are a bit…slower on picking things up but soon they will see it too. The way you get lost in thought whenever you look at him. The two moments you were gone for a long period of time with him. But Alicia…' Michelle put the newspaper down and held her hands out on the table. Alicia, completely embarrassed by this point, put her hands in her friend's.
'I just want to protect you,' she finished. Michelle's look softened.
'Protect me from what?' Alicia asked back in a whisper. Michelle didn't know about his condition, so she couldn't mean that. 'Protect me from getting expelled?'
The girl with the black hair shook her head. 'No, no you idiot,' she said with a small laugh. But then her features became serious again. 'Protect you from harm. What if one day he reciprocates your feelings, but he asks you to do something you don't want to?'
Alicia quickly withdrew her hands and sat up straight. This was not the direction she had expected this to go. 'You're afraid he will take advantage of me.'
Michelle looked guilty, but nodded.
Alicia sighed. 'I don't know what to tell you. He is not that sort of man. And yes I know a lot of naïve girls say that, but this is different. Anyway, I'm not throwing myself at him or something. We're just…bonding sometimes. I feel connected with him, like I have never felt with anyone I dated. But don't worry, I don't think he will respond to me anyway. He seems to value professionalism more.' She didn't mean that last sentence to come out so vehemently but it did.
Michelle shook her head. 'Alright. I'll get off your back. Just know that you can always talk to me, about anything. Okay?'
Suddenly she understood that she was only trying to be a good friend, and Alicia felt very emotional. Her eyes watered as she looked back at her best friend since their first year at Hogwarts. 'Oh I know,' she said with a snicker. The girls bowed over the table to hug each other. When they let go, Alicia saw tears in Michelle's eyes too. Both of them laughed as they sat back down.
'We are truly a mess,' Alicia said, wiping at her eyes.
'Merlin yes we are,' Michelle answered.
Things got back to normal when December started. Alicia hadn't been alone with Remus since their night at the Hospital Wing and she started to miss their talks. The classes were progressing normally. He didn't give her any extra attention or sideways looks. She should be glad he was so good at acting casual, but at the same time it annoyed her. Because she wasn't good at acting casual. Whenever he walked around the classroom and stood behind her she froze and blushed like a maniac. One time he asked her to read for the class and she nearly choked on her saliva. She really felt like it would be easier if she saw him again outside of class. Then maybe she would stop looking at his firm ass every time he walked past her…
December was also the time of year for cuddling up to loved ones and spending Christmas together…or so every girl dreamed of and so every boy took advantage off. Right before Christmas was a known time of the year when a lot of dates were held. The last trip to Hogsmeade before the holidays was a popular moment. Alicia received three invitations to go on a date on that Sunday. One from the Slytherin boy, Damian, one from a Ravenclaw from her year that had admired her for years, and one from Ron Weasley. Yes…Ron. Alicia was so confused when he stopped her on her way to Potions, that she needed a full minute to process what he was asking her. In the end she told him the same as she told the other two, that she already had plans. That was true, because Hagrid had asked her to watch over his Hippogriff, Buckbeak, as he went into town to buy more supplies. But even if she had been free, she wouldn't have gone on a date with any of these boys. She wondered if she would have gone with Fred, and decided that she probably would have.
It was the last day before the holidays as the four Ravenclaw girls were sitting at the table at dinner. The meal had already been served and now everyone was waiting for the late post to arrive. It was traditional to send Christmas cards to fellow students, so everyone hoped to get a big pile.
However when Alicia's pile kept getting bigger and bigger, she wasn't happy.
'When does this agony stop?' she asked dramatically as she read a new card.
Sophia huffed. 'Who are all those people writing you? And why aren't they writing me?'
Alicia opened a new envelope. 'Be glad. Most of them are boys trying to get me to remember their names. I don't know half these people. Oh hey! This one is from Hermione. So sweet.' Hermione had enchanted the card to make actual snow fall out, but it faded away before it touched the table.
'I guess you can have your pick. How about Fred? Did he send you a card?' Michelle asked, raising an eyebrow. Alicia rolled her eyes as she held up one of the cards she had already opened. It had a mistletoe on the front with swirly letters underneath spelling this could be us? As it changed to two silhouettes kissing and back to the text. Michelle took the card and started reading.
'Merry Christmas Nessie, maybe some year I'll meet you under the mistletoe. Xxx your flying hero. Well this could be loads of-,'
'When I was in my fourth year I got stuck on the island in the middle of the Black Lake, with an angry squid waiting for me in the water. Fred was busy practicing Quidditch when he heard me scream for help and got me off the island. I called him my flying hero,' Alicia replied.
'That is so sweet!' Elena replied. 'He is cute. Maybe you should just go up to him and give him a kiss. You know, since he isn't taking too much action. 'Maybe some year?' That is so passive!'
Alicia laughed. 'Thanks but no. I'm not that interested.'
Sophia rolled her eyes. 'You aren't interested in any of these boys throwing themselves at you! You are every girls worst nightmare. Now half the school will want you and no boy is looking the other way!'
'Okay relax! Pick any card and go up to the boy to tell them that I'm not interested, but you are. Go on! I dare you!' Alicia replied, shoving the pile across the table.
Usually Sophia didn't respond to dares at all, but she was looking at the pile like it was laughing in her face. She rummaged through the cards until she found one that made her mouth fall open. 'Jared too?!' she exclaimed as she read the card from a fellow Ravenclaw. Alicia had known Sophia liked him.
'He's right over there,' Michelle pointed out.
As they were all staring at Sophia, she picked up the card and walked over to Jared. They were too far away to hear the conversation, but they saw Sophia pointing at the card, then back at Alicia. Jared looked sad and embarrassed, but after a moment he nodded and walked out the Great Hall with Sophia on his arm.
'Well I wasn't expecting that,' Alicia said after a long silence between the three friends. Then Elena grabbed the pile. 'My turn!'
Alicia and Michelle laughed as Elena was quickly reading and discarding cards. When she made eye contact, Alicia threw some cards in her direction. 'You wanna try too?'
Michelle shook her head and pushed them back to Alicia. 'No thanks. I'll find my romance outside of high school.'
Alicia figured that was probably a good idea. She looked down at the leftover closed envelopes, and fished a new one out. The envelope was the same yellow faded colour as half of the others, but this one had a wax seal on it. She tried to make out the seal, but didn't recognise it. She opened it to find a dark blue card inside, with a shining silver dragon on it. It was flapping its wings as it flew through the night sky. She opened it and started reading.
Merry Christmas Alicia.
Someone told me you like dragons, and it really doesn't surprise me that you could love a dangerous creature. You are a very caring person and I greatly admire you.
X Moony
P.S. we should really meet up again soon after the holidays. I have a great book I want to tell you about.
Her heart stopped. She read the card five times over to really believe that it was real. There was no doubt in her mind who 'Moony' was, especially now that she knew his connection to the moon. Everything about this card was perfect! He probably knew about the offer from Charlie to work with dragons, which meant he talked about her with others. He gave two references to his condition, which she wasn't sure why he did. As far as she knew, he didn't know that she figured out his secret. But obviously the best part was that he missed her too.
'Hey Alicia I heard you were staying here during the break, is that true?' Elena asked. Alicia had probably missed half a conversation as she was lost in her Christmas card.
'Uh yeah, that's right. My parents wanted to go on a skiing trip and I constantly feel nostalgic now that it is my last year here, so I figured I would stay,' she replied, tucking the card under the table. Luckily it hadn't ended up in Elena's pile!
'You should have told us, I would've stayed here too. Now you're all alone,' Michelle replied sadly.
'That's sweet, but it's okay. I wanted to spend some time wandering around the castle and the grounds, seeing some places I haven't seen before and do a lot of random alone things. So don't feel bad,' Alicia said back with a smile.
And maybe…I won't be alone at all.
Alicia climbed the snow-covered hill leading back to Hogwarts. She had spent the morning with Hagrid, reading up on dragons. Ever since Charlie had visited them Hagrid was incredibly supportive of her career choice. He had written letters to everyone he knew that could give them information and prepare Alicia for the dangerous job she had chosen. Hagrid was the best.
It was even more admirable knowing that he was going through a difficult time. During one of his classes, the hippogriff Buckbeak had attacked a student and now he faced charges. Alicia feared they would ask to execute the poor creature. Hagrid's heart was way too kind to handle that. But he seemed to want to distract himself with the dragon studies.
In contrast, her parents hadn't responded well to the news. She had send them a letter explaining what a great opportunity she had gotten and how excited she was, but the response was less than happy. They thought it was too dangerous and too far away. Her father hadn't realised that there were dragons in the wild spread across the globe. He often figured out new things about the wizarding world, because her mother wasn't too keen on pulling him in it. Alicia suspected that had to do with the impending danger for muggleborns and half-bloods. Her mother tried to be prepared might the situation get worse.
With those depressing thoughts in her head she nearly walked past a group of students standing near the wooden bridge. It was only when she heard someone scream that she looked up.
'P-please! Leave me alone!' a young girl yelped. Tears formed in her eyes as she had her back to one of the massive stones standing on the top of the hill. She was surrounded by a boy and two girls, who looked a couple of years older than her. They formed half a circle around her, closing her in to the stone with their bodies. The boy had his wand out and pointed it at the little girl's face.
'Just tell us the truth then! You lied to us didn't you?' one of the girls said. She had a dirty look on her face.
'Okay I'm sorry. I lied,' the little girl said in-between sobs.
'So say it! Tell us what you are!' The boy shouted. He lashed out with his wand and a small gash appeared on her cheek. She shrieked out in fear.
'Say it!'
'M-mudblood!'
'I knew it. You filthy-hey!'
It had taken Alicia a moment to decide what to do, but now she was acting quickly. She had cast the Expelliarmus charm to catch the boy his wand in her hand. All four people looked up to see who intruded.
'You better learn some manners,' Alicia said calmly. Inside she was boiling with fury.
'Give me my wand!' He yelled at her as he turned away from the little girl and came towards Alicia.
'After you promise me you are never going to bother anyone ever again,' she said back, hoping she sounded calm. Calm rage was generally more threatening.
'You stay out of this!' One of the other girls yelled as she too drew her wand. However, Alicia had suspected that and was quick enough to disarm her too. Then she had three wands in her hand. She gave the third bully a look as if to dare her to whip out her wand too. The girl didn't move.
'Pathetic half-blood!' The boy yelled as he charged at her like an enraged bull. Alicia sidestepped his charge but he was too quick when he landed a punch to her stomach. She doubled back and he had already gotten back the two wands she had taken.
'You are not telling me or anyone else what to do! Soon things will change again, and you will get murdered, together with your parents who decided to mix blood! They will pay for their crime, and so will you!' He yelled in her face.
She realised he was gathering the nerve to send a bad curse her way, so she had to be quick. Before he could summon a curse Alicia had quickly raised her wand.
'Confundo!'
It hit the boy right in the head, as he stepped back and swaggered around like he would topple over. The two girls came rushing to his side. 'What did you do to him?' one of them said.
Alicia just stood there, watching disapprovingly at the three despicable students. 'Bring him to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey will know what to do. Go now, or I'll do worse to you two.'
One of the girls looked ready to kill Alicia, when the other looked over Alicia's shoulder as she noticed something.
'Shit, a teacher. Come on Patricia, we better get out of here,' she said.
The girls dragged the confused boy back towards the castle. Alicia didn't even look back at them as she went over to the girl who was still sitting with her back to the big stone.
'Hey, are you okay?' Alicia asked, keeping her distance as the girl looked scared to be touched. She didn't nod or shake her head, so Alicia carefully raised her hand. 'Can I see that?'
Slowly, the girl turned her face so Alicia could examine the cut. It luckily wasn't too bad. 'That will heal quickly. Don't worry, you won't have a scar. What is your name?'
She sobbed a moment longer before she swallowed and replied. 'Mandy.'
'Mandy, I'm so sorry I didn't act sooner. You shouldn't pay any mind to those types. They bully others to forget how pathetic they really are. I bet if they see a ghost they run away in terror!'
That earned her a little smile. Mandy wiped her tears away and stood up. Alicia stood up with her. She saw that blood was dripping down her cheek.
'Do you have a handkerchief or something…' Alicia started before she was interrupted.
'Here, allow me.'
From behind her appeared another figure, who placed the tip of a wand close to Mandy's face and spoke a couple of healing spells. The cut closed considerably and stopped bleeding. When it was done the newcomer spoke to her in a kind, soft voice.
'That will heal over nicely. Now, I think you have classes to attend. It's better you go back to your classmates.'
Mandy nodded. 'Thank you,' she said to both before hurrying back to the castle.
Alicia smiled. 'Of course it would be you.' Then she finally looked Remus Lupin in the eye. He looked concerned, but smiled back at her. 'Too late though. If you hadn't been here it would be way worse than a cut.'
Alicia felt her cheeks heat. 'I didn't know how to heal her though. Did you catch the people who did it?'
He nodded and shifted on his feet. 'I know who they are. I told them it wasn't over and that they would serve detention for what they did, after they had a conversation with me. I'll lecture them tonight.'
'Good,' is all Alicia said, as she stared after the place where they disappeared to. Then she felt the pressure of a hand on her upper arm.
'I saw you get hurt. How are you?' he asked concerned.
Alicia placed her hand over her stomach. 'It hurts a bit, but not too badly.'
His hand didn't leave her arm. She looked up at him and thought there were a lot of things she would like to say to him. Lots of things they had to discuss. But she was at a loss of words as she stared into his brilliantly green eyes. She was happy that the inflicted wounds in his face didn't damage his eyes. They were too perfect to let anything happen to. Without thinking, her hand went to his cheek. His face felt warm to her cold hand, and she gently stroked her thumb over his skin.
He actually closed his eyes and leaned in to her touch. It was snowing again, and there they stood silently in the white landscape. Snowflakes caught onto his hair and clothes. One landed on his nose and Alicia giggled at how funny it looked. When she made the noise he opened his eyes again.
'Why do I feel so comfortable around you?' he asked calmly.
Alicia shrugged. 'I honestly don't know. But I feel the same.'
Something shifted in his eyes. He gave her the same look he had given her before when they were laughing on the bridge. It was an animalistic look. A hungry look. Alicia's heart stopped as she saw it. Then he started leaning forward and she lost all sense. She leaned in too, expecting him to kiss her. However, his face went past hers as he pulled her body against his for a hug.
With the initial shock gone, she wrapped her arms around his body and decided that this was even better. She felt his warmth and inhaled his scent, as she nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck. He did the same, and it felt like he was trying to press his lips to her neck. Unfortunately she was wearing a thick scarf so the feeling was muffled. She almost wanted to pull the scarf away to allow him to kiss her neck, but thought he would let go of her if she did that.
They hugged each other tightly for a long time. Both of them really needed the comfort and both didn't want to let go. Alicia got a tighter hold on his waist and pulled his body even closer. Now that their entire torso's were touching, she felt a bulge rub against her belly. First she though he had something in his pocket, but then quickly realised that was not the case. She stiffened a bit at the realisation and then Remus let go quickly. He looked embarrassed.
'I-I am really sorry. I-I don't know where that came from I didn't mean…' He was completely at a loss of words. It was the first time she saw him so unsure as she decided it was cute. When she chuckled he looked up, confused.
'You are cute when you're at a loss of words,' she told him.
He blushed even more at that. 'I don't mean to push you-,' he tried again.
Now she wanted to take initiative. She stepped up to him again and placed her finger against his lips. 'Shush,' she said. 'I know, I understand. Don't worry.'
A very cheeky idea came to mind to give him a quick kiss on the lips, but she didn't want to be their first kiss like that. If it ever came, it had to come from both of them, not as a surprise. They were still tugging on the idea, deciding to take steps forwards and backwards. Pushing was not a good idea.
So she went for another idea that was less daring. She took hold of his arm and stood next to him.
'I think I might need someone to escort me back to my class. Would you do me the honour?' she asked with a smirk.
He chuckled nervously but then came back to his confident self. 'The honour would be mine.'
They set off to walk the bridge together. Alicia knew that she had to let go of his arm once they reached the castle grounds, so she wasn't walking very quickly. It seemed Remus had the same idea.
'I didn't know you were a half-blood by the way,' Remus said to make conversation. 'Is your father or mother a muggle?'
'Father. My mother works for Gringotts but they need contact with muggle banks if they want to exchange money. My father works for the National bank of England and so they got in contact. My father had the kind of job where he had to know about the existence of the magical community, but he never got too deeply involved. Until he met my mother.'
Remus looked happy. 'That is a wonderful story. I know a thing or two about it. My mother is a muggle, my father a wizard. I think a lot of people underestimate how close these two worlds are. I grew up with tales of Beedle the bard and the Grimm fairy tales. Same with poetry, music, sports…you really miss something if you only focus on one side of it.'
Alicia smiled back. 'I agree. I actually feel blessed to know enough about both worlds. When I listen to music, I love mixing the Weird Sisters with the Rolling Stones. Sometimes I don't even know which band I'm listening to! I love it.'
They continued talking about things that mixed great between wizards and muggles, and found yet another shared interest. Alicia started to see this man as more than a crush. He was becoming a good friend as well.
When they reached the end of the bridge Alicia reluctantly let go of Remus his arm. They both looked pained to be separated again. They continued into the castle, where they walked past a handful of people. In the end they reached the point where they would split their ways. They continued talking as they stood still, not wanting to let each other go just yet.
'Well, I should head to my class,' Remus said eventually. Alicia nodded. 'Oh I still wanted to ask you, where are you going during the holidays?'
He raised an eyebrow. 'I'm staying here. What makes you think I'm going away?'
Her heart made a little leap. 'You said so in the Christmas card. To see me again after the holidays,' she replied quickly.
He chuckled. 'I assumed you would go home actually. You are staying here as well?'
She nodded and blushed. He smiled. 'That's wonderful. I'll see you on Christmas morning then.' He looked around to check that they were alone, took her hand and kissed it. He winked at her and turned around to leave.
That cheeky bastard, she thought. She wanted to have the last word this time. 'Thank you for the Christmas card again, Moony,' she yelled after him.
He stopped for a moment, chuckled, and continued walking.
Why did he have to make it so difficult for himself? A month ago he had made the decision to stop his growing feelings for his student. He had told her that night in the Hospital Wing that they couldn't go on like that. So what was that today? Why did he hug her and worse…push his aroused member against her?
He stopped walking to lean on a windowsill. He was internally cringing at what he had done. But even if that hadn't happened, he was still going way too far with the gorgeous Ravenclaw. He kept asking her personal questions, exposing himself to her, and kept giving her little signs of affection. He had noticed personal growth in her over the last few months, and lately she seemed more mature in his head. He made himself believe that it made her actual age different too. There was a part of him that was driving him whenever she was around, and that part didn't care about limits. That part knew what it wanted and was advancing fast.
But there were so many reasons, very logical reasons, why this was the worst idea he ever had. First off: he was her teacher. Second off: he was a werewolf and she didn't know. It wasn't fair to her, to let her come so close when she didn't even know what he was. But to tell her was a huge risk. If she was horrified by the discovery and ran to tell everyone, he would get fired. She could even use his actions so far as allegations in a court. If she wanted to burn him to the ground, she could.
Could he risk that? To trust her so much? To basically put his fate in her hands? He sighed and continued walking, realising he had to make serious decisions. He had nearly kissed her today. If he did kiss her, and she kissed back, then he couldn't turn back. If he did that she would expect more from him. So he had to think really long and hard, whether he could have a secret relationship with a student.
The thought scared and thrilled him.