Chapter eleven: a glimpse into the future

Remus had been right; Alicia really needed to focus on the final exams. She was still behind on her work for potions and transfiguration. These were her least favourite classes and she was afraid her average scores wouldn't be enough to pass for her N.E.W.T.S. She needed to pay more attention during the classes and try for some extra tasks to get in the good favour of Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape.

With the head of Gryffindor house Alicia didn't have too much trouble. After some time of asking a lot of questions in class and staying behind to check her work, the older witch seemed satisfied that the Ravenclaw girl could pass her tests. Alicia never liked transfiguration that much, but her teacher was a kind woman who rewarded hard work well.

Professor Snape however, proved to be more of a problem. The potions teacher with the slick black hair and long nose was infamous amongst Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. He clearly hated Gryffindors the most, but the others felt the unfair treatment towards everyone who wasn't in Slytherin house too. It was therefore no use to try and be a know-it-all in his classes, neither would he take the time to review work after class. Alicia became more and more irritated with the professor's biased behaviour, when an opportunity presented itself. Damian, the Slytherin boy who fancied her, wanted to help her out. Every question she needed answering was played to Damian who would ask and get an answer back. It was ridiculous that it was needed, but Alicia was just glad to see her work improving.

In February they took practice exams and the results were better than expected. Alicia felt more and more confident about her academic career. She was still in contact with Charlie Weasley, who assured her that as long as she passed her marks would not affect her chances of getting in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary. With that pressure gone, it was purely her own strive that pushed her past average.

Because she was so active in all her classes, she also dared to be more involved with the Defence Against the Dark Arts classes. Whenever she raised her hand to ask a question or give an answer, she could see a tiny smile on the lips of her professor. Elena, Sophia and Michelle had stopped asking questions so Alicia was confident they were sneaky enough.

Valentine's day was another episode of awkwardness for her. When the post came in during breakfast letters kept being thrown on her plate. It was a repetition of the Christmas cards, but this was worse. At least with the Christmas cards they were also from friends, but this time it was only lovers. She simply kept her red face down to face the table and tried to ignore the growing pile in front of her.

Alicia was about to leave the table when Michelle cleared her throat. 'Shouldn't you take these?' she said, indicating the pile of love letters. Alicia groaned and started scooping the cards in her bag. Without looking anyone in the eye she fled from the Great Hall.

It was time for her weekly study session with Hermione. The girls found a mutual interest in many subjects and became regular study partners and friends. Hermione could more than once help Alicia out too, since the third-year was advanced far beyond her age. Alicia got to the hallway that led to the library, when she found the girl with the bushy brown hair. She was accompanied by her usual friends, Harry and Ron.

'Hey guys,' Alicia said with a smile. She was still blushing from her awkward morning.

Ron seemed very happy to see her. 'Hi Alicia! Good to see you. Did…uh…did you have a nice breakfast?'

She wanted to launch in a story about lovesick puppies, but was cut short when Ron asked one more question. 'Did you receive my letter, by any chance?'

Great! This is just brilliant. How am I going to save myself from this one? She blushed fiercely but couldn't really stop herself from saying what was on her mind. She swung the shoulder bag to the front of her body and opened it. All three could see the huge collection of red and pink paper. Ron turned scarlet, Hermione gave a little gasp and Harry just seemed amused.

'Which one?' Alicia replied, a little more irritated than she wanted to sound. By the look on Ron's face, she regretted her action. She wanted to say sorry, when some kids came running down the hall and bumped into Alicia's side. Her bag went flying and the letters spilled all over the floor.

'Watch it!' Alicia called after the kids. She went from embarrassed to angry. The first-years scurried away quickly. Then she sighed as she looked at the mess. 'Just what I needed. I don't think this morning can get any worse.'

'That is quite the collection you have there, Miss Doreen. But displaying them like this all over the hallway is a bit much, don't you think?' said an amused voice behind her. Alicia didn't have to turn around to know who it was. She just closed her eyes and cursed whatever bad karma she had today.

'Hello professor,' Harry greeted Professor Lupin, who just happened to be there at the worst possible moment. The four students were already picking up the letters and throwing them back in her shoulder bag, when Professor Lupin got out his wand and made them all fly back in. He caught the last one from the air and studied the handwritten words saying to the most awesome girl in Hogwarts.

'I had no idea you were this popular. Will you reply to them?' he asked casually. Alicia held out her hand for him to place the last letter in. When he did their hands brushed against each other. She had to refrain herself from reacting to it. 'What, to all of them? If I had a time turner and could reset a week than maybe I would have the time for it. However since I don't possess one, I think some boys will be left hanging.'

'But you will at least read them, right? We can help you if you like,' Harry said with a huge grin on his face. Alicia wished she could silence him with a glare. Ron stepped further and further to the back as he tried to blend in with the tapestries on the wall. Alicia sighed. 'I didn't ask for this, but it is actually very sweet. A lot of people show interest in me, and I appreciate that.' Ron actually looked up to face her. He seemed a bit better. 'And I will find the time to read them. But not now, we have the 18th century Goblin rebellion to read up on, right Hermione?'

Hermione nodded. Alicia smiled thankfully. Professor Lupin shifted on his feet before he spoke to them. 'That's right. You girls are being smart to prepare so well. Good luck on studying, I'll be seeing you in my class.' After a short goodbye from them he continued walking, but then stopped for a moment. 'Oh and, Happy Valentine's day,' he said over his shoulder. Harry and Ron laughed quietly as Hermione rolled her eyes. Alicia was tempted to say something back, but decided against it. In the end she entered the library with Hermione, having said goodbye to the boys.

'Well that wasn't awkward at all,' Alicia said quietly as they sat down in a corner of the library. Hermione was spreading all her stuff on the table. 'Not to sound…jealous or whatever, but why do you get so many letters? Do you…flirt a lot?' Hermione asked.

Alicia chuckled. 'No I don't at all. I talk to people, sure. Maybe they see that as flirting. What can I say? Teenage boys are unpredictable and needy. If I could give them any advice, I'll tell them to find another girl to pursue. I'm not interested.'

'You aren't interested in any of them?' Hermione asked incredibly.

Alicia cleared her throat and looked away. She was sure the clever brunette would figure out there was someone on her mind. Better to hide her secrets in a partly truth. 'I'm not interested in anyone that send me a letter today.'

'But there is someone you like, who didn't send you a letter?' Hermione said smugly. Alicia gaped like a fish. 'How did you-,'

'Oh please. I know I don't get involved in a lot of girl stuff but it is clear there is someone on your mind. I don't think you will tell me who it is?' she asked, sounding very curious.

After another moment of staring she relaxed and smiled. 'Let's just say I'm not interested in fellow students. I think my romantic life will begin after I graduate.'

Hermione's eyes shifted over her features, analysing that reply. Then she gasped and held her hands to her face. 'Is it Charlie? Ron's older brother?'

After her initial urge to laugh out loud, Alicia understood why that would be a logical option. It fitted with what she had just said, and her relationship with Remus started after she had met Charlie. Even though she didn't want Charlie to ever think that, maybe for now it was a good cover story.

Alicia's pause seemed to confirm the theory for Hermione. 'I won't say anything, I promise,' Hermione said eagerly.

'Okay, you got me. But you have to swear to not tell anyone. Not Ron or Harry. Just no one, okay? I might lose my job opportunity if anyone finds out,' Alicia said cautiously. Hermione gestured to zip up her lips and then started focusing on the books.

As Alicia tried to focus on the text in front of her, her mind was replaying their conversation. Suddenly she realised something. Something that started to feel like a problem. On the one hand, she wanted to go to Romania and work with dragons after school ended. On the other, she wanted to have a relationship with Remus. Was that going to be a problem? Would he go with her as she lived her dream? Or would he stay to teach at Hogwarts? Would they even see each other then? Would their long distance relationship fall apart over time?

She was sinking deep into what-ifs and bleak ideas of her future. Then she shook her head and banned all of it from her mind. She was thinking way too far ahead. Who could tell they were still together at the end of the year? There were still so many things to come before she had to worry about that.

It was quiet for nearly an hour at their table. They were reading and writing in silence. At the end they reviewed each other's work and adjusted what needed adjusting. Alicia was happy with Hermione's insight. She reminded her of Michelle, also a silent force that was very clever. Elena and Sophia were more book-smart. They could memorize texts from start to finish but they weren't very inventive. Deep down Alicia sometimes wondered what her two friends were doing in Ravenclaw.

They were packing up their stuff when Alicia shivered from a wave of cold air. Hermione looked unhappy too as she was looking out the window. Right outside was a dementor, silently passing by. Its torn hood drifted in the wind behind the dark and creepy creature. It was so despising that it was hard to look away. Alicia felt a tap on her shoulder and realised she was staring at the creature. Hermione guided her away from the window.

'If only they could just leave Hogwarts,' Alicia said with a grimace. Hermione looked thoughtful. 'They still have a job to do. Catch Sirius Black.' Alicia huffed. 'They're not doing anything except creeping people out. And anyway, I doubt Black would still come here. It would be like suicide.'

'Maybe if he wants Harry bad enough…' Hermione said quietly. Alicia looked at the smaller girl. 'You believe that? That he would come here to kill Harry?' Hermione shrugged. 'He has already been in the castle. What other reason could he have?'

Alicia was really, really hoping that Remus was not the reason. 'How does Harry feel about all of this?'

Hermione sighed deeply. 'Since Harry found out that Black was a friend to his parents, he has been livid. I truly believe that if Harry sees the chance, he would want to hurt him. Or worse…' She looked deeply troubled. Alicia could understand how she felt. Her best friend was having a difficult time and she couldn't do anything about it. On top of that, Harry might get himself into danger.

'What would you do if you found Sirius?' Alicia asked. Hermione looked up with determination. 'I have been practicing a whole set of spells that I would like to test on that…that…criminal!' She balled her hands up in fists and set her teeth. Alicia realised she never wanted to be on Hermione's bad side.

The Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom was filled with blue light. It was the last day of practicing Patronus charms for the seventh years. Some students had managed to make a corporeal Patronus, but most could only muster wisps of light. It wasn't required to make a corporal Patronus to pass the exams, luckily.

Alicia had been practicing a lot over the last weeks and had managed to summon a corporeal Patronus in the dormitory two days ago. Today, her dragon flew high above all the other students their attempts. As far as guardians went, she felt safe with this one.

When she produced it there was a round of applause, laugher and comments like: 'what else for Nessie!' She felt pleased with herself for the beginning of the class.

When her moment of pride had subsided a bit she looked over at Michelle. She knew her friend was frustrated that she had such difficulty producing the protector charm. However, today she looked even more miserable. Not even a bit of light was coming from her wand.

Alicia walked over to her, her dragon still gliding through the classroom. She put a hand on Michelle's shoulder. 'Hey. You know it isn't important whether you conjure one or not, right?'

Michelle's shoulders sunk even lower. 'It's not that. I am simply not in the mood to think about happy memories.' Her statement was followed by a deep sigh. 'Alicia I'm in deep trouble with my parents.'

Alicia hadn't expected that. 'Why? What happened?'

Her friend's hand wiped a tear away quickly. There was too much going on in the classroom for people to notice them. 'You know both my parents are wizards, right? My grandmother on my mum's side was a half-blood, so I suppose I'm not really a pureblood, but something close to it.'

Alicia had known this, but also knew that Michelle never cared about blood-status. 'Yeah?'

Another sigh. 'Well, they feel impending danger. I think Black's escape was the jumpstart of their worries. They think that soon people will start taking sides again…like it happened last time.'

Alicia felt something drop to the pit of her stomach. The dragon disappeared. 'And they are taking his side?' she whispered. Michelle looked ready to cry out loud, but Alicia had always known her as a tough person. 'I think so. They don't want me to become an Auror. They think I will get killed if I do that.'

It was hard to comfort her with such impending problems. All Alicia could do for now was put her arm around her friends shoulder. 'I know they said all that because they are scared, but I'm so ashamed. Can you imagine being too scared to fight for what is right? Can you imagine being such a coward…'

'Okay listen,' Alicia said. 'Maybe this was just their initial reaction. Maybe they need time to get used to the feeling and maybe they change their mind. And hey, at this point we are still save. I know Black is out there, but that is just one man. One man against Dumbledore, all the dementors, the Ministry and all the other teachers here at the school.' She thought about what Remus had said. I will kill my own friend before he hurts Harry, or you or anyone. 'And as for the Auror job, you have to do it. You have been determined for years to get into the program. Anything else just wouldn't feel…right.'

Michelle sniffed. 'I know. I am just…scared too. The other night I was all tough, saying I would want to find Black and do something about it. The truth is…he scares me so much I have nightmares about him. In my eyes, he is the first step towards a second war.'

That idea hadn't crossed Alicia's mind yet, but now that it did she felt as sad as Michelle did. No wonder her Patronus wasn't working today.

'Is everything alright Michelle?' said Professor Lupin, who had walked over to them. Alicia looked up at him with a grim expression. 'She is simply not in a state of mind to produce a Patronus. Sorry professor.' Michelle nodded but couldn't look him in the eye.

'That is quite alright. The class is over anyway. Would you two like to stay behind for a cup of tea and some time to adjust?' he offered. Michelle looked up at him, then at Alicia. 'That would be nice, professor.'

He smiled. Then he told the class that they could go. Alicia pushed Michelle to the front of the classroom. Elena and Sophia looked concerned. 'Let me handle this, I will tell you later,' Alicia said to them. They didn't protest and left the classroom with the rest.

Remus did as promised. He brought the kettle and cups from his office down to the classroom and brewed them some Camille tea. He also offered them chocolate.

'Professor, can I ask you something?' Michelle asked. She sounded more sure of herself.

'Of course.'

'Did you take part in the last wizarding war?'

Remus looked thoughtful, probably not expecting that question. 'I did. Did you hear about the Order of the Phoenix?'

Michelle gasped. 'Of course! They were the reason we won from He Who Must Not Be Named, right?'

There was a faint smile on Remus' lips. 'I wouldn't know whether we were the reason, but we tried to help were we could. Protect families, plan attacks and trying to round people up to fight. It were dark times.'

Alicia looked down, thinking about the story of James and Lily Potter. Michelle seemed to burst with questions now. 'How old were you? How old do you have to be to sign up?'

This was the part were Remus got careful. 'You know, Michelle, the Order is gone now. There is no war anymore.' Michelle slammed her fist down on the desk. The teacups rattled. 'As someone who has been in the Order you should know that there is no peace anymore, and soon we will be back at war. A Death Eater escaping from Azkaban? Rumours about You Know Who not being dead? All the trouble from the last two schoolyears when Dumbledore told us he was behind it? With all due respect Professor Lupin, if you believe we live in peace than you are blind.'

Alicia had rarely heard Michelle so passionate and aggressive. And definitely never in the presence of a teacher. That talk with her parents had really stirred her up.

Remus however, stayed calm. Only his eyes showed worry. 'Do you believe that the escape of Sirius Black will bring about a next war? Michelle, I don't know what to tell you. I think you worry too much, or perhaps too soon. I can tell you that the Order is inactive now. But might we ever get to the point of war, then I will be happy to vouch for you. You are an excellent dueller and a brilliant witch. If you still want it in a time like that, I will help you.'

Alicia couldn't believe it. 'Don't tell me you think there will be a second war too?'

Remus shrugged. Michelle's face finally lit up again. 'I'll hold you to that promise, professor.'

Alicia's eyes went from the one to the other. 'There is no war. You Know Who is dead. What Harry battled the last two years were leftovers, memories. He is dead. There is no second war. Professor, I really didn't think you would talk those ideas and fears into her head.' She stared him down, quite angry now.

'So you aren't afraid of Black?' Michelle asked while finishing her cup of tea. Alicia threw her hands up. 'Yes Michelle! I'm really afraid of that criminal. I wish he was captured already, so we could go back to normal times. But I fail to see your so-called link between him and a new war!'

Remus had flinched. He had actually looked down and grimaced when she said she wished Black back in jail. Guess he has more faith in Black than he let on. He practically believes his innocence without proof! And then there was Michelle, who seemed a lot calmer. She stood up and placed a hand on Alicia's shoulder, like she was the one who needed soothing now.

'It's okay Alicia. Not everyone has to fight. And maybe you are right and I'm paranoid. But you don't have to feel involved,' Michelle said calmly.

Alicia wondered what strange alternate reality she had fallen into where between the three of them, she was the one who shouldn't feel involved. 'Fine. If you feel better, shall we go? I don't want to keep Professor Sprout waiting,' Alicia said in the end.

'Yes I think that is a good idea. I do hope you feel better Michelle. If you ever feel the need to talk to me, my door will be open,' Remus told her. He cleared up the cups and walked back into his office.

Alicia was still replaying everything that was said in the classroom in her head as the two of them walked to the greenhouse.

'Do you really want to fight, Mich? If it ever happens…do you think you could do it?' Alicia asked carefully.

Michelle looked at her. 'Yes. As long as I'm sure what I'm fighting for. I'll give everything for equality and freedom. What about you?'

Alicia huffed. 'Call me selfish, but I'd stick to dragons. I understand beasts way better than I understand people.'

Michelle hit her lightly on the shoulder. 'I completely understand. Hey by the way, I might be wrong, but I think he knows you have a crush on him.'

'You think so?'