Naruto really liked people. Something that was admittedly strange considering his upbringing, but really, who is keeping note. While he generally disliked the looks on their faces when he walked by, ate, or attempted to communicate, it was nothing he couldn't handle. Disgust, hatred, even the occasional roughhousing and property damage, he could handle them. It was the numb feeling of loneliness that made days seem long and his thought erratic. He would much rather be treated poorly they confine himself to his apartment to escape them. Naruto enjoyed watching them, picking up their hidden motions, and telling their thoughts through their eyes. Most would be surprised by the amount of knowledge he had gathered from people watching.
So even though he was scorned and despised, he couldn't keep the hide the large grin slipping onto his face. (He had been slightly disappointed when Hokage-jiji told him it looked less friendly and more demonic.) His trips into town had been some of the best ways to ward off the dark shadows and gleaming red eyes that liked to haunt him. (Ghosts were the most terrifying things on the Elemental Nations and learning more about them had NOT made them less scary.) Of course, it wasn't long before they began to notice that ignoring him was the best way to get rid of him. This forced him into watching people from a distance.
Roofs and alleys, dark shadows, and speed; he developed many techniques to avoid being seen. By enveloping himself in the darker underbelly of Konoha, he subsequently learned things hemight nothave been supposed to know. Things such as the rogue ANBU that had a tendency to steal the orphaned street rats, he wasn't a fan of how empty they felt even at a distance. He made sure to stay away from the snake-eyed man that smelled of blood and the shifty men he recognized as foreign merchants. He also avoided the bandaged man with a smile more demonic than his own. Other things such as the well-guarded areas of the library and darkest corners of the Hokage Tower were observed as well. From a young age, Naruto was exposed to the tiny leaks of the secrets Konoha held.
That wasn't to say he noticed only bad interesting people. There were good, interesting people too, they were just louder and generally harder to pin down to one spot. There was the scary purple lady who seemed as obsessed with dango as he was ramen. Naruto made a point of 'accidentally' tripping her and watching the chaos unfold. He'd seen a green guy running around in spandex yelling something unintelligible loudly. He was funny but also someone Naruto made a point to avoid. Then there was the mystery person who left curry on his countertop. He swore he would worship whoever was giving him this miracle dinner.
To summarize: Naruto liked people. He enjoyed watching their reaction when he pranked them. Anger, hatred, or that silent sort of rage that promised revenge on future grandchildren, whatever, it was all hilarious. He liked creating new seals and testing them on those shifty foreign merchants. Naruto almost liked to think of himself as the impromptu fill-in for the untimely demise of the Uchiha police force. He also enjoyed setting wire traps and catching the elder Shinobi. It was fun to see how long it would take them to free themselves. Naruto loved that Sakura and Sasuke had eagerly taken to the various pranks and chaos.
Together they had begun to unravel some of the secrets Konoha held and remedied the deadly parasites that tried to take up home in Konoha. They would rise the Shinobi ranks together and ride Konoha of all things that could harm it. Which was why becoming a Genin was so important. Blackmailing the old man had been necessary even if he had probably already been planning to make them a team, lest the entire village be mysteriously dyed orange.
Naruto liked people and their various reactions. So it was not surprising that he had agreed to prank their new Sensei. He knew they probably wouldn't be able to beat him or get him anywhere close to a standstill. Despite knowing and excepting the loss, he had still wanted to try his best and see how Kakashi would deal with it. No doubt, it would be in some ridiculous and petty fashion, but hey, that was half the fun.
"NARUTO!" Sakura screamed, "If you don't stop laughing… I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
He did not stop laughing. Sakura was currently tied thoroughly to a wooden post, thrashing angrily in her bonds. Sasuke was somehow buried neck-deep in the ground and had seemingly accepted his fate. He wore a deadpan face as he watched Sakura's vain struggle. Naruto was currently hanging upside down from a tree with a rope around his ankle. He would have cut himself down sooner if he hadn't been too busy wheezing at his friend's current predicament. Kakashi was sitting off to the side going through their travel packs. He pulled out one of the many seals haphazardly tossed into Naruto's bag.
"What's this?" He questioned.
Naruto looked up. tried to answer, failed, and began laughing even harder than before. His face seemed to be growing a disturbing shade of red. Kakashi turned to Sasuke, skipping over the cursing pink-haired girl.
"Experimental chakra absorption seal." He provided.
Kakashi nodded before moving onto Sakura's bag. He held up several beige-colored files.
"And these?" He added.
A sadistic grin spread across Sasuke's face.
"'Borrowed' documents and blackmail on powerful political figures…" He smiled.
Kakashi's singular eyebrow rose. After a little more snooping and a long considering look, he spoke.
"Burn my file and I'll pass you." He said as he stood and brushed off his pants.
Sasuke nodded.
"Hn." He agreed, "Release us and you've got a deal."
The rope holding Naruto snapped with the toss of a Kunai. The still laughing blonde crashed to the ground with a groan and a wheeze. Kakashi tugged Sasuke from the ground with an angeringly minimal effort. Sasuke scowled as he stared at the stubborn layer of dirt covering his entire body. Last came Sakura. An angered Sakura often needs to be approached slowly and carefully, remaining within sight, to avoid her devastating punches.
"–ock sucking son of a bi–"
Sasuke clamped a hand over her mouth, a glare painting his features.
"We passed."
Her mouth formed an 'O' as he cut her free. Honestly, Sakura had the worst mouth out of all of them. For a while, he wasn't even sure how the pink-haired girl was picking up so many swears. Well, that was until he came across a rather suspicious dictionary covering the topic of the foulest words. Sasuke may have accidentally burned it. Oops. Sasuke and Sakura plopped down next to Naruto who still seemed to be gaining his bearings.
"Haha… The world is spinning, 'ttebayo, and I can't feet my foot…." He wheezed, "Did we pass?"
Sakura nodded and he let out a whoop of celebration. Kakashi clapped his hands together.
"Now my lovely lit–"
Sakura interrupted with a raised hand.
"Nope." She said firmly, "You're not our SenseiyetHatake Kakashi. You still have to see if you passed our test."
Remarkably, Kakashi didn't seem that surprised by this revelation. Instead, he did this sort of eye… smile… thing and plopped himself down on the ground across from them.
"Ma ma, Sakura-chan. You should have told me earlier." He said cheerfully, "So did I pass?"
Naruto gave him a shaky thumbs-up.
"You're… hilarious… dattebayo…" He rasped.
Sakura nodded.
"Eh…" Sakura said, "I guess you're okay…"
Sasuke sighed.
"I doubt we could do better…" He said with a shake of his head.
Kakashi sweatdropped. What was he getting himself into?
Authors Notes/Questions Answered1. My college application has been submitted! Yay! It was only really painful!2. I'll update every week now.3. I read over past chapters and WHY DID NONE OF YOU MENTION MY SPELLING! PLEASE TELL ME THESE THINGS!4. I am taking suggestions for OMAKES! Yay!
Thank you very much to those of you who brought the glitch to my attention!