Disclaimers: All right reserved of the originals "Star Wars" Characters, Names, Places, etc., to George Lucas / Disney. I pledge to return all characters after the story is complete.

Warning: Major Spoilers of TRoS.

Note: This is a Reylo FanFiction (slow-burn)

「Act 32: A bleary moment」

Ajan Kloss, 36 ABY

Rey let her feet through the Resistance base's main corridors, passing various figures she had acquainted with the passing years. She nodded her head, and she smiled at each greeting them. She abhorred her own dissatisfaction; there lay a specific reason for such emotions as she had found what she most desired. A place she belonged to, friends and family, who fought for the same cause as her. She even managed to connect with the dyad again, and her bond with Ben was constantly there. But an insatiable loveliness ensued her.

She believed she was a disappointment; she couldn't figure out her own emotions. Ever since little, she learned that she should smile when she was happy and frown when she was sad. And anger, excitement, fright, and so many more. But those things that are called feelings, those were emotions. And although they were synonyms. This emotion thing was a roller coaster for her and each situation that was rising. And Rey couldn't always cope with their meaning. Like now, the mission was ready, and Ben had already guided them through everything he knew about the Sith's Soulstone. Yet Rey wanted to search once more through Luke's texts and find a more valid answer.

She reached the part of the base she was using as a library. The previous year, she had moved all the books and texts she had from Luke and Leia there. Access wasn't granted to everyone, only those related to Rey and Leia. Rey spent enough time there reading all the old Jedi books she managed to find. Also, she was offered a librarian droid to help her. If she needed to search for something specific, she wouldn't have to look through all the texts; the droid could point her where to look.

She searched for hours; the droid was going up and down, bringing her any available texts and books. Rey rubbed her forehead, filing the tension building up. She was looking into Palpatine's information, and although she had found so much new information, nothing was related to the Black Stone or his secret Temple.

"This family is so mixed up; I'll never untangle their mess," she said as Finn walked into the room, gazing around piles of books she was surrounded, "Droid, bring me anything else you can find about the Emperor!"

"Rey," Finn called her and sat next to her. "We already have all the information we need," he assured her, "Why don't you go rest and get ready for the mission?" he quizzed, but Finn already knew the answer. If something were bothering Rey, she would look into it. The girl he had met in Jakku had never changed that part of her character.

Rey sighed as the droid showed up and delivered a few more texts in front of her. "Because if we know where Palpatine's Secret Temple is located, we will avoid traveling to Yavin 4; I don't trust that colony," she answered as she kept her head buried into the books.

Finn curiously asked her, "At least have you found anything important we can use?"

Rey turned page after page as she scratched the back of her head, feeling her fingers stumbling against her buns, "Palpatine wasn't always part of the Dark Side. It took him actually a long time to become the evilness we faced in Exegol," Rey explained as she lifted her head and faced Finn, "His own father wasn't any better. Palpatine killed his whole family. My father was a clone, but before him, he actually had a son of his own."

Finn jumped up and interrupted her. "Wait, you mean, Palpatine got busy?" he looked way in disgust with the idea.

Rey nodded. "A woman actually slept with him."

"Imagine that!" Finn added.

Rey felt sick to her stomach. "No, ew! Don't!" The last thing she wanted was to create the image of her grandfather's intercourse. Rey paused and spaced out. "He couldn't stay in the light side, as the Skywalkers. And that part still worries me, Finn. What if one day, I'll give in the temptation. We easily end up judging those who turned into the dark side, but we never know their full story. What if I'll follow their example." Rey was terrified by the idea of that happening to her; after all, she was a Palpatine; she was part of the dark side. Even if she had fought the dark as long as it took, and she would remain true to the light. She was like Leia, not giving in to the temptation easily; she would withstand the darkness and never give in. Maybe the female Jedi was better at dealing with the darkness.

Yet the fear remained.

Finn understood her worries, but he also believed in Rey; she was strong enough to remain on the light side. "No, Rey! You'll never be seduced to the dark side," he assured her, his arms reached up and wrapped around her, pulling her to hug. "And we would never let you fall to the dark side."

Rey hugged him back as Finn encouraging words made her worries stop for now. She felt lucky to have friends like Finn and Poe, who would support her during her daring times.

"You kids should come to dinner," came a voice suddenly. "You can continue later in a private room!"

Rey and Finn broke the hug, irritated by the man who mocked them; he was standing at the entrance of the door watching them. Finn stood up. "Someone is just jealous," he snorted, he helped Rey stand up, and they both walked towards Poe.

"Dinner is almost finished, and you have not eaten yet, and not to say you aren't ready for tomorrow's mission. Rey, we have what we need for our mission." Poe assured her, and all three walked down the hall towards the diner.

Meanwhile, Ben had returned into his room, hiding from everything and everyone there. He was supposed to get ready for the mission to find Omii. But he didn't own anything to get ready, no clothes, no weapons or blasters. If he had to follow them tomorrow, he would show up with the same clothes he was wearing today and unarmed.

Earlier, he had sensed Rey's thoughts their Force connection, and he searched for her. Ben understood her worries and her curiosity. He was not different when he found out about his grandfather; he needed to know everything. Even now, as Anakin Skywalker, he wished he could grasp his thoughts. Anakin kept visiting him after he turned and tried to guide him through the right path. In a way, he was lucky in his misery. Because Anakin showed up when he was less expected, with the right advice. But Rey didn't have that option. She once encountered all the Jedi, and Luke aided her once as a Force-ghost, then she was left alone.

He wished to share everything he knew about Palpatine, but what he knew were only dark and disturbing stories. He chose not to step into the room that Rey called a library. Ben was there when Finn showed up and offered his support to Rey. True be told, he was glad that Rey had close friends that would support her. He envied Finn, who could easily reach out for Rey and offer his help. As for Ben, even with their connection, he never allowed himself to take that step. A step he took easy as Kylo Ren. Back then, when the Dark Side fully corrupted him, his only way out was Rey. She was a small comfort of his isolation. And Kylo Ren would not step back; he would take every chance to connect with her.

What had changed now that made him so afraid?

Now he knew what he had done; he was fully aware of what a monster he was and was a monster like him even allowed to reach out and bother her. Indeed he had accepted their connection now; he was not fighting any longer. But that didn't mean he was seeking her through their bond. He remained backstage, like a shadow. And today, he felt like a forgotten shadow as he watched Finn hugging Rey.

Was he jealous?

True be told, he was not jealous in a bad way, but a small jealous sparkle led up in his heart, only to remind him that he was human after all. Though he retreated to his room, he was not allowed to have such thoughts. That was a luxury for normal people, for people who were not a monster as he, for those who had not killed so many and unleashed chaos all over the galaxy.

His thoughts were cut off as suddenly in his room showed up Chewie holding an old metallic box. He placed the box in the corner of the room and roared a few times, telling Ben that Han had left that box for him. He looked at Ben for a moment, wanting to stay around and open the box with him, remember old memories with the son of his best friend. But still, Han's death was not forgotten, and Ben's deed was not forgiven. Chewie turned around, leaving Ben with the box.

Ben walked towards the rusted metallic box and knelt and opened it. The view passed through him like a hurricane. Everything he worked and struggled to deal with lay in ruins. The desolation he felt was all-consuming. His mind became an icy wasteland; the wind howled in his soul and wrapped icy tentacles around his heart so tightly it almost stopped beating.

His father had left him an attire similar to his; only it seemed that he knew his son better than Ben thought; the fabric and color were the ones Ben liked most. First of all, there were leather boots, one of a kind. Ben slowly pulled them out of the box and observed them. Next, he found a pair of black pants and shirts, sewed by the best fabric mixed with leather to protect him from injuries. Then he noticed a leather jacket similar to his father, only it was a modern brand, and again the color was black. Last but not least, he found a DL-44 blaster pistol that included a belt to hold it.

Ben thought he had emotional scars, not the truth; he was still bleeding because his heart was so strong. After all, the memory of his father sprang alive once more. He remained there sitting next to the metallic box and looking at the belongings, his father left him. He felt emotionally bankrupt. The was nothing left to feel, nothing left to say, nothing left but the void that enveloped his mind in swirling blackness.

He remained there lost in the void gazing at his belongings. His mind was laid waste by the box that Chewie brought him.

「 Upcoming Chapter: Act Thirty - Three」

More than anything, thank you for taking the time to read this!

Feel free to Review and Follow!

Adelgado28: Thank you, it really means a lot you read, like, and review the story. It's time to start and make it a bit more interesting ^_^

amyunder: I get what you mean; I hope that Ben will manage to reach his redemption ... and slowly start showing his true self, as Ben Solo. Because until now, we only see a part of him.

AnemiM: Thankies ^_^ I am trying to keep the story connected and close to the canon as possible.