November 24, 2015

9:40 AM

Lecture Hall

Stanford, California

Fitz's POV

"So, um," the blonde girl pushes her arms against the sides of her chest to subtlety make her boobs stand out. She smiles flirtatiously at me. "The speech writing packet is due...?"

I force a smile and clear my throat - as if Cyrus didn't repeat the due date at least a dozen times. I know this girl - I can't even remember his name - is just using it as an excuse to talk to me...like every other girl in this PoliSci class. Every girl except one.

"The day after we come back from holiday break," I tell her. "As Professor Beene mentioned more than a few times."

The girl bursts out in a nasally laugh and it takes everything in me not to gag. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but there's really not a lot of girls in this class I like talking to. It's not like they're not attractive - most of them are. But I can't hold a conversation with them unless it's about class. There's only one girl I genuinely liked having a conversation with and now we can't even look each other in the eye.

It's been a couple of months since Livvy and I last spoke. Since I left her in at her coffee shop. I'm not mad at her. How could I be mad at her calling me out and simply telling the truth? I can't. It's just we never talked after that. She tried apologizing but at that point, I just wasn't ready to speak to her. When I finally was, she stopped talking to me. And that hurt but what can you do? I overstepped and I don't want it to happen again. No matter how much I miss us talking - even though we only talked a few times before the whole party disaster. I worry about her sometimes. I hope she's out of the party scene but it's really none of my business what she does in the end. I just find myself thinking about her sometimes.

As the blonde student goes and flirts some more with me, I tune her out and look up the rows at Livvy. She's sitting where she always does - in the back corner of the lecture hall next to her friend Abby. Even though she doesn't talk to me, she participates in class and everything. She's so goddamn smart. She could go to law school right now if she wanted.

And she's so pretty. Sometimes, when Cyrus goes on his long lectures with me next to him, I'll tune out and look at Livvy. If she notices me staring, she doesn't react. I don't mean to make her feel uncomfortable - I'm not Harrison. But she's just got this thing about her. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something for her.

An underlying part of me cares about her so much that it's unbelievable. I barely know the girl but I miss her. And I want her to be okay - even if she hates me.

"Fitz," Cyrus calls my name from the end of the room and gestures for me to follow him.

I force a smile at the girl and follow Cy into his adjoining office. "What's up?"

"What are you doing for the holidays?" Cyrus sits at his desk and turns on his desktop computer. He pulls out a flash drive from the mother board. "You going back home?"

I stuff my hands in my jeans pockets. "Unfortunately."

Cyrus nods absentmindedly. He picks through a file of papers and holds one out to me. "While you're at home with your family, eating turkey and getting too drunk to go Black Friday shopping, just ponder this. It's Olivia Pope and she requested to be transferred out of this class."

I stare at the paper in front of me without taking it. What?

"It's because of you," Cyrus goes on matter- of- factly. "I mean, she didn't write it. She didn't need to. Everyone knows what she was implying. She wanted to be in a class where you're not TA." Cyrus takes a deep breath. "I am gonna ask you this, Fitz, because you're like a son to me and I want to help you get out of this mess. Did you sleep with this girl? Did you hurt her?"

"No!" I practically shout. I take the paper from him and crumble it in my fist. Why is she doing this? Does she really hate me his much? "I didn't do anything, Cy! I haven't even talked to her after I apologized to her the night after the party! I swear!"

"Then why is she doing this?" Cyrus demands. "She blantly said that after holiday break, she wants to switch out of this class and into another PoliSci one. Why now?"

"I don't know," I admit. I turn around and run my hand through my light brown curls and inhale deeply. At this point, I'm trying not to break down.

I don't know why Livvy is doing this. She knows I forgive her. She knows I would give up anything to talk to her. Why is she hurting me like this? "Cyrus..."

"I don't care, Fitz," Cyrus looks up at me, disappointed. "I don't want nor need to hear your excuses. Simply put, I don't care about your drama with underclassmen. I do, however, get involved when it concerns my day. Concerns my reputation like this -"

"It's not personal, Cy-"

"This," Cyrus cries, gesturing to the crumpled up letter in my fist. "Feels personal. I chose you because, like I said, you're like a son to me, Fitz. You have a passion for politics - you have potential in it too. I trusted you. I still do. But when students start pulling shit like this...like I said, Fitz. Make it right."

November 24th, 2015

10:05 AM

Lecture Hall

Stanford, California

"Olivia!"

I wait for her by the doorway as students leave the lecture hall. Her best friend Abby whispers something to her and Livvy shakes her head, all while avoiding eye contact with me. I know Abby knows about our relationship. She picked up Livvy from the frat house that night a couple months ago.

They're both set to walk right by me but I reach out and take her elbow.

"Hey!" Abby cries and I sigh. I didn't mean to grab Livvy, but I really need to talk to her.

I don't want her to leave and not just because Cyrus is upset about t. She shouldn't feel compelled to leave because of a stupid fight we had a long time ago.

"It's okay, Abby," Livvy says calmly, then finally looks at me.

I smile helplessly but she doesn't return it. "I need five minutes...please."

She stares at me before finally exhaling and nodding. "Fine. Five minutes." She turns to a reluctant Abby. "It's fine, Abs. Really. I'll be alright."

With Abby's hesitant blessing, I pull Olivia into a corner where we can have more privacy. I simply look at her - it's been months since we've been this close. She looks so stunning in a white sweater and black leggings with Ugg boots. "Hi."

"Hi," she looks up at me and swallows. "Fitz..."

"Don't apologize," I hold up my hand. "Please."

"What I said was out of line," she continues anyway. "I'm not a bitch."

"I don't think you are-"

"No," she shakes her head, her black curls bouncing. "What I said to you that night...that was a bitchy thing. I don't even know why I said it. I was in your place not too long ago with my father and everything but... I just want you to know that I was in a bad place when I said that. I'm over it."

I frown and look her in the eyes. She has the prettiest brown eyes. "So why did you request to be transferred?"

She sighs. "Fitz..."

"I'm not mad at you," I tell her candidly. "I'm really not. I just want you to stay. You shouldn't feel compelled to leave. Please."

"You have a girlfriend," Olivia blurts out.

I raise my eyebrows. Yes, but what does that have to do with anything? How does Livvy even know?

She notes my surprise, because she sighs heavily and closes her eyes. "I'm not a stalker - I swear. It's just that every other girl in that lecture hall is infatuated with you so when a rumor starts spreading...well, it was like wildfire." She opens her eyes and locks them with me. "What I'm trying to say is...Fitz, I don't know what this is. What you want from me. I may like casual sex but I am not 'the other woman'. So I just need you to know that-"

"Livvy," I shake my head, cutting her off. She over thought this is so much, I don't even think there's a word for it. I really like Livvy and I would be lying if I said I didn't have any feelings for her. But that's not why I want her to stay. That's not why I need her to stay. "You've got this all wrong."

She looks up at me. "So you don't feel anything for me?"

"No," I lie, pressing my lips together.

I actually do feel something, but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not attracted to Mellie and I'm just horny. Maybe it's just lust. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's something more. I don't know. But I do feel something. I feel something I never have with any other girl - let alone a student. I just have no idea what it is. "I promise you, Livvy, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" she whispers.

I can tell this whole thing is really bothering her. I can't say I blame her. If I were a freshman, getting sucked into all this drama would be hell for me. This must be confusing and frustrating and I can assure her - it's the same for me. "I don't know, Olivia."

She shakes her head, sighing yet again. "Then I don't know what to tell you. It's not personal, Fitz." She reaches up and touches my cheek with her hand softly. She keeps it for a second before she realizes we're in public - then she lowers it quickly. "But being in that class? Seeing you? Being reminded of that night? It's just too damn hard. I wanna move past it. I have to."

"You can forget about me," I whisper. At this point, I'm willing to say anything to get her to stay. "You don't even have to look at me again. But Cy...he gets his feelings hurt."

Livvy cracks a smile at that and I can tell she's considering it.

"Look," I go on, trying to smile myself. "I'm sorry about that night. I didn't mean to put you in a position like that." My smile fades. "But I have to ask - for my sake. Are you still working for him?"

She looks away and doesn't answer. She doesn't have to. I know she still is. I know the truth. And it hurts. "Olivia...you know I don't like that."

"And you know that I don't care what you like," she mumbles. I frown and she looks at me, crossing her arms. "If you want me to stay in the class, Fitz, I will. If it means that much to you. I'm staying for my sake. And Abby's. And Professor Beene's. But I will not put up with ...whatever this is."

"What do you mean?" I ask innocently.

She rolls her eyes at me. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I really don't."

She rolls her eyes again. "You're a grad student. Figure it out."

I chuckle. "Olivia, I told you. It's not like that. You're right - I do have a girlfriend. A fiancée actually. And I'm not that jerk who takes advantage of his students."

Olivia looks up at me. "You could be. Seriously, you could have any of those girls in that lecture hall. You don't even have to try. You could have all of them."

I look back Livvy. "Yeah. Except for one, I'm assuming."

Livvy grins, and then touches my shoulder. That makes me smile again. "Like I said, Fitz, don't make this something it's not. Don't try to protect me. Don't go out of your way for me. It's fine. I'm fine. Seriously."

I nod, because I can't open my mouth and tell her I believe her. I can't lie to her - not again. She leans forward and puts her arms around my neck. "Have a nice Thanksgiving break."

I'm surprised but I wrap my arms around her tightly. It's a nice hug - like we've been doing it every day for years. She waits a moment and then with one last smile, walks away.

I'm so worried about her. I just want her to be okay. But then again, that's not my place.

She's made that very clear.

November 24, 2015

5:47 PM

The Coffee Express

Stanford, California

Olivia's POV

"So," Abby plucks a blueberry off the top of her muffin. "What did Mr. Douchebag want?"

I roll my eyes at Abby and hand a receipt to a customer before turning back to her. Sometimes, on slow days, Harrison doesn't care if I let Abby through the counter and lounge around until my shift is over. Abby has significantly less classes than me so she has the spare time. "He has a name Abby. It's Fitz."

"Whatever," she rolls her blue eyes. "He's still an asshole. He shouldn't have grabbed you like that. And there I was, thinking he was better than Harrison."

"Abby!" I snap at her. It's not like Harrison is here right now, but still. Abby can be so judgmental. Okay - it's not like Harrison is a good guy either. But Abby can be so quick to assume.

"It's okay," Quinn walks by with a cardboard tray full of coffee. She hands it to a customer before turning back to us. By now, I've filled her in on Harrison's dick moves and she's noticed the way he looks at me whenever he's here. "I'm hip to everything."

"Then how do you let her keep working here?" Abby sighs, referring to me.

I just shake my head and get back to wiping the outside of the Keurig machine. "Where's your perfect boyfriend, Abs?"

Abby automatically grins. She's been dating David solidly for a while now. If I can get past their excessive need to show public displays of affection, they're actually pretty cute. "We're talking about you right now, Liv. Not me. More specifically, we're talking about how our cute TA has a crush on you. That and the fact that he may be a total asshole."

"He's not," I insist.

"Look at you," Abby smirks and takes another bite of her muffin. "Being all defensive over your boyfriend."

"Come to think of it," Quinn speaks up. "It is kinda weird how he got protective of you that night. Did he ever give you an explanation?"

"He didn't need to," I sigh. "I was wasted and he just did the right thing. But it's not like that, guys. He's engaged."

"So?" Abby shrugs.

"Abby," I can't but laugh. "You're about the most judgmental person I know. And now you're saying it's okay if I were to be Fitz's mistress?"

"No," Abby replies. "Because he's a jerk."

I sigh and since I have no pending customers, I turn my back towards the counter and face her and Quinn. "I'm going to say this one last time and I need you to really hear me. Fitz is not a bad guy. Fitz...he isn't Harrison."

I guess saying that Harrison isn't a good guy would be an overstatement. He's rarely ever here so I don't really know much about him. I've only seen him a few times in the past couple of months. But when he is here... I don't know. Something isn't right. He's not the same boss I joked around with my first night.

It's not like he blantly sexually harasses me. I would not be working here if he did. I may be desperate for a job but I do have an teensy bit of self respect. Barely any. But it's there.

Still, something isn't right about Harrison's behavior toward me. Sometimes he'll just watch me while I'm at the counter and when he thinks I don't notice, he'll be checking out my ass. Or when I'm talking to him, his eyes will be directly on my boobs. He won't really talk to me but when he does, he'll say suggestive things. Still, he doesn't touch me. So as long as he's all looking and talking, I'm fine with that. I can live with that.

Abby stares at me. "Liv...do you really like this guy? Fitz, I mean. Because you haven't been with another guy, not that i'm aware of, ever since we came to Stanford."

Abby's right. I haven't slept with anyone since I came to California a few months ago but that's simply because I've been too busy with classes and work. Like drugs and alcohol, I don't need sex. It has nothing to do with Fitz. Or at least I don't think it does. "I don't know, Abs."

"If you were really into him," Quinn speaks up again. "It would be kind of hard to blame you. He's hot and I say go for it."

I try to hide my grin. "Quinn, I'm not that type of girl. Even if I was into him like that, I'm not 'the other woman'." I sigh. "Can we stop talking about this?"

Luckily, David comes in the cafe and the subject changes. He leans over the counter and gives Abby a kiss. "Hey, girls. What are we up to?"

"We," I push Abby's shoulder gently. Friday's are really busy and I can't have her sitting around here in the middle of things. "Were just leaving. Get your girl outta here, David."

David puts his arm around Abby when she comes through the counter and smiles. "I was gonna invite you girls to this party tonight."

"Babe," Abby looks up at David. "i'm going back to Baltimore for vacation tonight. My flight leaves at eight. I can't go."

"Are you sure?" David asks, frowning.

"Yeah," Abby sighs, looping her arm around his waist. She nods to me and Quinn. "But you guys can go."

Quinn looks at me,beaming. She's such a pretty girl but she's not the type that gets invited to college parties. She's just not that hardcore. So I can tell she's excited. "I'm so down for that. Olivia? Please tell me you'll go! I know Huck can cover for you tonight..."

As far as partying goes, I'm not gonna lie - I've gone to a couple in the past few months. Stanford is a huge party school and I'm gonna take advantage of that. Lately, I haven't been getting down to parties as much as I expected. Schoolwork has been getting in the way of that. Schoolwork and stress.

Today is the last day before Thanksgiving break and I know I'll be staying on campus. My dad hasn't contacted me and I know he's not planning to. I have nowhere else to go and if I'm here, I might as well get some fun out of it.

"Okay," I tell her, grinning. "I'll go. Just for an hour or so."

Abby puts her hand on my shoulder and lowers her voice. "Liv..."

"You don't have to worry about me," I promise Abby. She already feels guilty because she couldn't take me back to Baltimore with her. The money just wasn't there. But it's okay. I'm okay. "I'll be fine."

"I just don't want you to be here by yourself," Abby whispers.

I smile softly. "Abby, a lot of students stay on campus during holidays. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." I nod towards Quinn. "She'll keep me in line."

Abby finally smiles back. It's reluctant, but it's there. "Alright."

I give her a hug. I'm gonna miss her until she comes back but I'll be okay.

I really have no other choice.

AN: Hey, sorry for the late update. Hope you enjoyed the update. There's a LOT of drama still to come! Thank you for your kind (and not so kind) reviews.

I'll be the first to admit that I often don't proofread my chapters. I sometimes just rush through it. Y'all telling me that is constructive criticism and I appreciate it. I'll try to be mindful of my grammatical errors in the future. That said, when you start talking about my age/what I've been through, that begins to feel personal.

Cursing may be unpleasant to read but what's worse is reading reviews that are nothing but hurtful.

Also, if you're just in my reviews to slut shame...well, that's more disturbing than anything I could ever write.

Anyways, the majority of you are incredibly sweet and supportive and I appreciate that so much